Was this rude?

[psophia17]

I don't think so, but DH told me that it was...

There's a little boy in our waterbabies class who screamed his head off through the first three classes, screamed less at the classes after that, and who this past Friday did not scream at all. I've talked to his Mum several times (we are both habitually early), and when he made it through the whole class without screaming, I mentionned to her how I had noticed it and made some "good job, big boy" comments to the baby.

When I told DH about this tonight, his reaction was, "you didn't tell the mother you noticed, did you?" and said it was rude of me to do so...but I just don't see his point...was it rude and I'm too clueless to realize it?

[new_mommy25]

I don't think it's rude.

[Saartje]

To be rude, your comment would have to somehow imply that she was doing something wrong. I think you're in good shape.

[ellies mom]

I don't think it was rude. You were commenting on the improvement the kid made and complimenting him on it. Rude would have been saying something like "About time he stopped crying like a little girl, the big baby" or telling her after the second class, that clearly the kid hated it and she was a mean mommy for making him go. That's rude. I think you were fine. She was probably pretty proud of him too. DH's are so clueless sometimes.

[Melanie]

I don't think it was rude, though I'm not keen on the "big boy/girl" comments people make...I think it's too much pressure on the little ones. I would have seen it as a well-meaning statement of praise for the child, though.

[chlobo]

I don't think it was rude. When a kid is screaming its head off its pretty hard to miss so it's not like you "might" not have noticed. You were just acknowledging what went on and commenting on the improvement. It didn't sound like a backhanded compliment or anything.

Slightly OT: I have when people phrase things "You didn't..... did you?" It just gives me this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like I've made a huge mistake. I guess it's because my mother used to do it to me all the time.

[papal]

I don't think it is rude.

[aliceinwonderland]

Nope. Your comment indicated nothing negative, I don't think!

[StaceyKim]

I agree with PP. I don't think it was rude. Did the mother seem offended?

[lrucci]

ITA agree with the pp, you did not say anything rude.
Lisa
Mom to Kyleigh 7/19/03

[psophia17]

Nope - we had another class today and he cried a little when we did a new thing, and she came over to me and said "I guess he just needs to get used to new things for longer than the other kids."

I feel much better - I guess DH would've had to be there...

[psophia17]

I hate the "You didn't...did you?" comments too. I have a bad habit of opening my mouth before I think about what I'm going to say, and often put my foot in it. Usually I know after I do it, but whenever I hear the "you didn't..." start, I spend far too long thinking of what I could possibly have said to offend, and usually can't figure it out.

Drives me nuts, especially since I would never intentionally say something rude or hurtful...