Let's have some fun! In-law stories

[himom]

Okay, it's the holiday season and I think some of us are going to need the comfort of each other's in-law stories. You know, misery loves company! I'll start:

When I am a mother-in-law, I will never:

...tell my niece that the reason I'm unemployed is because I'm waiting for my daughter-in-law to hurry up and have a baby so I can stay home and be the nanny.

...send my daughter-in-law a baby name book for her first birthday after her marriage with the note, "This is not a hint. I just thought you might want to add this to your library." WTH???

Ok, your turn!

Jodi
Mommy to Joshua, born February 2003

[Melanie]

Exclaim holiday dinner is ruined b/c it got cold while we INSISTED upon waiting for the new mommy to nurse her baby which she said would take a while, and not to wait.

ggrr...we haven't been back to their house since! The baby is now 3.

[ellies mom]

I will not give short notice for a visit, then show up four days early with no date in mind to leave and then not understand why DS doesn't want to drive 6+ hours one way to Canada on his day off.

I will not miss my son's wedding because I don't like to fly and I doubt my job will give me the time off to drive, so I won't bother asking. Not only that I will understand why they may not want to get married where we are living instead of where they are living.

Here's to holidays with the in-laws. Pass me that beer.

[momathome]

I will not tell my DIL that her baby (my grandchild) was an ugly baby ("she really was an ugly duckling wasn't she?")

I will not have an affair with a waiter from Turkey who is 27 years my junior.

I will not threaten to sue for part of my son's inheritance from his father whom I divorced 22 years ago.

I will not say that I am not saving for retirement because I will be inheriting a small fortune when my mother and MIL die.

I will not stick my son and DIL with the bill for dinner when they literally just told me the day before how they sunk literally every penny they have in a down payment for their first home, that things are going to be very tight for a while, and they have a 3 year-old and a 5 day-old baby whom I have invited out to dinner.

Um, there is a far more lurid tale involving what MIL and step father IL's funeral arrangements are but I don't know if I should post it here. ;)

[papal]

>>I will not have an affair with a waiter from Turkey who is 27 years my junior.
LOL. She sure is living it up!

[aguinn]

I will never, while visiting my children and their families, ask them to return items that I've given them (old dishes that I happen to see because they served me dinner on them).

I will never forget the name of my future son- or daughter-in-law and, in front of several people I know, say "Hello?" in this puzzled voice and ask them how we know each other and then laugh my head off when they, embarrassed, remind me how we know each other.

I will never misspell my grandchild's name or make insane noises with my tongue to get his or her attention.

I will never insist that I am capable to babysit when it's pretty clear that I'm in very ill health and would never be able to keep up with a 16-month old.

I will always pay for family dinners out without question, especially since I insist that we go to the most expensive restaurants in town.

I will cook for my family without employing the microwave as my only means of heating our food.

Oh, there's so many more, but this has made me feel better! Thanks for the vent opportunity!

;)amy
proud momma to DS

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030729/1/5/1/-5/.png[/img][/url]

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif Weaned @ 13 months

[momathome]

You don't even know the half of it! ;)

[icunurse]

So nice to know that I'm not alone.....

I will always show up on time (or near it) for planned events. If I am running late, I will call. If I am running really late, I won't expect everyone else to wait for me/us to start eating. And if I say that I will show up for an event, I will show up.

I will not allow my children to sit around during summer breaks and never get a job, then complain about how I will never get te retire because I have to pay for clothes, schooling, etc. by means of my barely-above-minimum-wage job. (MIL has only done this with the 2nd and 3rd children, somehow DH was excluded, thank goodness)

I will not bring pets unannounced to anyone's home, especially one with a newborn. And I will respect it when my son tells me (after the event) not to do it again. I will not pout. (Actually, my MIL allowed both my SIL and BIL to bring pets to two separate events without asking us. But WE'RE being insensitive)

Aahhhh......I feel much better....

Traci
~Connor's Mom~
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050204/1/0/1/-6/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[Saartje]

I'll admit, you've got me curious about those funeral arrangements. ;)

[rottiemom]

Oooh, my turn!

...I will never calmly sit back & let my future daughter in law's widowed, 72 year old mother pay for the entire wedding without offering to stump up a dime even when my son suggests that it would be nice to at least offer to pay for his side's guests.

...I will never derisively sneer "you're not going to be getting much of a house for that amount" when my son tells me how much of a mortgage he & his soon to be wife qualify for.

...I will make it a point to be at least VERBALLY supportive of whatever undertaking my child & his spouse are considering (like, for instance, planning to buy a house as opposed to move into an apartment) as opposed to laughing at them and making sarcastic comments.

It's been 10 years and it still stings...bitter, party of one...

Nina

[AngelaS]

I will never say to someone who just gave our family the third gorgeous granddaughter---"too bad that one wasn't a boy".

[rrosen]

It sounds like my MIL may be a little more evil than most.

I will never interupt a Ketubah (wedding contract) signing to ask my child if they are sure they want to go through with it.

I will not send my son a broken wooden spoon for his 30th birthday (broken on his bum) nice, huh?

I will never call my Daughter in law by a surname that is not hers. The woman refuses to respect the fact that I kept my maiden name.

I WILL come to my Grand child's baby naming!

I will not wait 6 weeks to see my granddaughter after she is born even though I only live two hours a way.


Can you tell I could play this game all day?
Evil witch!

[amp]

Well, I hate to say "I never" because I'm now eating a lot of crow as a parent for all the times I said, "When I have kids, I'll never..."

BUT....I hope that when Jacob falls in love with a woman I will try to see that she loves him back and be welcoming to her instead of making her feel as unwelcome as I did!

I also hope that when I am a MIL, that my children and their spouses will see me laugh, be joyous, have fun, be silly and will know that I am not a person filled with hate, negativity and misery.

I hope that my kids and their spouses will enjoy short visits with us, instead of dreading them and wondering when it will end.

I also hope that I will not put my grandkids in the predicament that Jake will be in if this hostility does not stop. I already refused to fight with her like she wanted because I want to protect my son from that!

And I hope never to gossip behind my children's spouses backs. And should I fail in this endeavor, I swear, I will not say terrible things and gossip to their parents of all people! Can you say dumb?

ETA: Boy, you guys keep fueling my fire! I will not buy vacuum cleaners, grills and other items/toys/presents that the family should be buying and picking out for themselves!

I will not ask for gift ideas and then totally ignore them for things that the parents didn't want in the first place.

I will not sit in their hospital room or house and not leave "until they kick us out!"

I will not make comments about how I am going to teach the child "all the things mommy doensn't want you to know" and I will respect them as the parents and therefore, the ones who MAKE the decisions!

John has this kind of relationship w/ my parents and it's great. I, on the other hand, have not had that experience w/ his parents. Ugh. Our week before Thanksgiving visit ended in a fight. Nevermind my grieving over the loss of a baby! So, yah, cheers to another holiday! I hope this on is better!

[Emmas Mom]

Gosh, I feel really lucky cause I have great in-laws. In fact, we're moving in with them next summer & I'd rather live with them than my own Dad. Well, I don't have a "I will never" list but I do have a cute story to share....

My in-laws were visiting us over the summer & DD was on formula by then. I'd make a pitcher & keep it in the fridge for her. FIL got up in the morning & I told him to help himself to whatever he wanted for breakfast. DH, MIL & myself were sitting nearby in the great room. He opted for cereal (can you see where this is going??). Well after he got his cereal & was sitting at the table eating I noticed he had DD's pitcher of formula on the table next to him. It took me a second to register why it was there. I must have had a shocked look on my face cause he stopped eating with his spoon halfway to his open mouth. I asked him if he knew what was in the pitcher & then told him. He turned a few shades of red as we all started laughing quite loudly. Then he proceeded to finish his cereal with a smile on his face the whole time. Seems he grew up on powdered milk & actually didn't think the formula tasted so bad! He wouldn't have even realized if I hadn't told him. Needless to say, we shared the story with the whole family so everyone now asks him if he'd like some formula with his cereal. :D

[marie]

I will change more than one diaper in my grandchild's first 14 months of life.

I will not inform my child/child-in-law that my grandchild's diaper is dirty and then sit and wait while child/child-in-law stops what they are doing to change grandchild.

I will ask for and respect gift requests and specific instructions for items NOT to buy.

I will not offer my child's house as a dinner party location and certainly not expect child to cook entire meal for said dinner party.

I will offer support when I hear how grandchild is waking every 2-3 hours when my child is away on business - even if the trip "was ONLY for 3 days."

I will gladly accept the name Grandma if/when the time comes and not tell child "grandma!?! oh, she can just call me susan." (names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent!)

When child/child-in-law makes off-hand comment about looking for a nursing chair, I will not drop off a recliner unannounced the next day that neither matches decor nor taste of child/child-in-law. Heck - forget about taste, i just won't drop a piece of furniture off without asking!!

ahhhhh. . . i feel better. thank you.

[DDowning]

Since my MIL lives on the other side of the country, I don't have to deal with her too much. I too have a funny story to share though.

She had come out to visit us after the baby was born. DH's Sister and husband were staying with us as well. One night we were watching tv in the family room when MIL proceeded to get a glass, go to our refrigerator dispenser and filled it with ice. She then set the glass on the kitchen counter and went to sit back down. Curious, I asked "would you like water with that?" She stated, "no, that's okay, I'll just wait for the ice to melt." I guess she was too embarrassed to figure out how to switch the dispenser to dispense water instead of ice! Made for a good chuckle among her children! And me! :)

[momathome]

Hee-hee, if you really want to know, I'll pm you later! :)

[brubeck]

When I am a MIL I will NOT:

Try to talk my son out of proposing to the girl he has been in love with for 3 years.

Try to convince the future DIL not to get married after she has already accepted the proposal.

Come to my DIL's house and decorate for her since I assume that her 'lack' of decoration means that she wants me to hang scads of hideous artwork all over the walls.

Snottily ask my DIL why she doesn't have 'anything else to wear' when she walks into the room wearing her favourite dress.

Snottily ask my DIL when she is getting her hair cut short even though I know she has had long hair since she was a toddler.

Hold a bottle of EBM absolutely horizontal while I am feeding my grandbaby and then glare at DIL telling he that baby's terrific gas is a serious problem and hasn't she been to the ped about it?

Stare pointedly at my DIL's breasts while she is nursing and make rude comments about how the grandbaby is hungry, how can she stand that and doesn't she feel like a cow?

Buy my son and DIL ugly clothes they will never wear.

Trek across the country to arrive practically unannounced at my DIL's house on Christmas Eve so that I can 'see my grandchildren' and then ignore them for all but 3 hours of my weeklong visit.

And the primary thing I will not do:

Watch my jet-lagged grandchildren have a normal screaming tantrum because they can't play with my breakable sculptures and then tell my DIL, "But MY son was never like this as a child. I wonder where they get it from?" and then glare at DIL.

[aliceinwonderland]

OMG!!
After reading some of these, I LOVE my In-laws...
One thing, though: they also choose not to respect my name: we get things all the time: Mr&Mrs, Or "The____"--Erik also has two last names, so they do not respect that either.

I recently told DH next time I receive something not addressed properly, it will be promptly returned with "no such person at this address". LOL, they already think I'm a b*tch ;)

[mudder17]

Me, too? :)

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[mudder17]

Hee, hee. What would have happened if you'd had EBM in it? :)


Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[psophia17]

I will never:

Feed my 4 month old grandchild juice instead of formula because s/he's thirsty, not hungry (huh?)

Sit and chat to my grandchild about today's episode of Judge Judy/Judge Hatchett/Judge Joe Brown/People's Court

Swear like a sailor in front of my grandchildren

I have to say, my MIL is pretty awesome as far as MIL's go - DH, however, has had some issues with his MIL, who has:

Asked me, in front of him, if I would ever leave him after the business we started together failed miserably

While DH is laminating a countertop for the business he started, come out and look at it and say, "is that going to last longer than 6 mos, it doesn't look like it would"

Flip out when crying daughter, holding grandson, and SIL tell the whole family that we are moving to Canada - and blame SIL for ruining their lives.

My mother actually likes DH, too - can you imagine if she didn't?

[mudder17]

Wow, I must be the most blessed DIL on the planet! When MIL first heard that DH and I were dating (about a month before he graduated), she sent him e-mail immediately saying, "Well, it's about time!" :) She had heard enough stories about me to know that we were probably compatible and she'd always been wondering why we were just friends and not dating. :D

Every time I went for a visit, MIL and I would spend lots of late nights just chatting (we were both night owls, unlike DH and FIL, who are both morning people). She was such an amazingly welcoming, sweet and thoughtful woman who enjoyed talking to everyone and made friends very easily. Sadly, she passed away the day she found out we were pregnant with Kaya. The great thing is that she did know and she was thrilled! It's why Kaya's middle name, Challis, is named for MIL. We recently scattered MIL's ashes on the Zuni Reservation, while one of the natives said a native prayer for her. It was very touching and something I will remember for years to come. Anyway, I miss her. :( The cute thing is that FIL will sometimes pick up Kaya and call her Challis 2. :)

When I have SIL or DIL's in the future, I hope I can be just like MIL to them!

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[momathome]

No prob! I think I may have to create a yahoo group for this... ;)

[nov02mom]

When I am a MIL I will not:

1- Only call my son on his cell phone so as to avoid having to actually speak to his wife
2- Buy towels, mirrirs and other objects for their house without 1st consulting them on their sense of style
3- Agree to watch my grandchild when asked, then decide I have more important things to do
4- Spend $2000 on my son for Christmas/Hanukkah while only spending $25 on DIL and $25 on the only grandchild
5- Constanltly ask why the still nursing grandchild can't come spend the night with me

When I am a MIL I WILL:

1- actually help my DIL/son out after 1st baby is born by cleaning, laundry etc.....
2- Offer sometimes to watch the baby so said DIL and son can go out to dinner or a movie
3- Understand that nursing mommies cannot leave their children for hours on end
4- Try to let my DIL.son/grandchild have some time with the out of town inlaws.......I don't have to come over for the 1st time in a month just because there are other grandparents in the picture

(I hope I can remember these!)
Kristen

[tarahsolazy]

I actually like my MIL pretty well, and we get along great. She's pretty respectful of DS and my adult status.

That being said...

I will never ask future DIL how much she has in student loans, then send son and future DIL to a financial planner after hearing the number!

I will never ask DIL repeatedly about retirement savings plans, and obessively keep asking about said student loans. I finally told her that, as a physician myself, I would pay off my loans using all money I MADE, and not to worry that Jason would be paying them.

I will never blame DIL if my one and only child aka "Jesus" aka my DH decides to not get a job after finishing a surgery residency and stays home with my grandchild for a year (so far... no job in sight. I set her straight on this one, HIS IDEA)

I will never call my grandson a " little stinker, pooper, crapper" always in that order, just like that. (This woman is so pollyanna, she never curses or swears) I really hate that one!

[rrosen]

Kristen,
I dream of my MIL doing this every night! Honestly, I would pay to have someone convince my MIL to do this.
>1- Only call my son on his cell phone so as to avoid having
IMHO you are a lucky woman on this account!

[pritchettzoo]

I will never say that I wish I had enough money to hire someone to "take care of" DIL.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)
and One More (coming July '05)

[pritchettzoo]

Becca, you forgot the Christmas stocking! That's a good one.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)
and One More (coming July '05)

[bluej]

My MIL usually calls DH on his cell phone. Has been that way for years. Then out of the blue she started calling ME every Sunday just as Desperate Housewives was starting! Grrrr. Other than that, MIL and I have worked out most of our issues with one another. There's a few that still linger, but they are just minor annoyances (spelling?) and don't hurt our overall relationship.

[bluej]

Holy Crap! Does that mean what I think it means or do I watch too many crime/detective shows?!!!

[muskiesusan]

I will never tell my DIL about FIL porn habits...do I really need to know this stuff????


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01/01
& Alex 04/27/04

[Emmas Mom]

Oh my gosh, I would've been HORRIFIED! lol Although I'm not sure I ever could've pumped out a pitcher full! ;)

[deborah_r]

You all will be really jealous of me! We just brought my MIl to the train station after she came for an 11 day visit, and we are just sitting here depressed! My MIL is awesome! She changed Kai's stinky, nasty diaper this morning while she let me sleep in! She never makes any comments about me nursing an 18 month old, even though I know it is probably quite an unusual concept for her. We have to beg her to let us pay for things here and there while she visits, she wants to pay for everything for us. After Kai was born, while I recovered from c-section, she did all the laundry, cleaned the house, made the meals, brought me snacks, reminded me to take my medications...I consider myself *very* lucky!

However, I do love to read these stories, so keep 'em coming :P :)

[Melanie]

"I will never interupt a Ketubah (wedding contract) signing to ask my child if they are sure they want to go through with it. "

OH I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ONE!! WHAT A -ITCH.

[Melanie]

>I will never say that I wish I had enough money to hire
>someone to "take care of" DIL.
>
OMG!

[Melanie]

Jodi, thanks for starting this thread...I feel much better going into a dinner with the ILs next week...I'm so fortunate!

[babymama]

Well I thought I would win the worst ILs in the world award, but I see that there is some tough competition out there.

I will never:
- ask son how much money his fiance makes and then later ask for money on a monthly basis because well, she makes so much money (not!)

- ask son how much money his car, house, luggage, watch, plane tickets, dinner, chewing gum, etc. cost (this is an OBSESSION with his family)

- give myself insilin (sp?) injections and prick my finger for blood right at the kitchen table so that everyone can see "oh, how I suffer!" boohoo.

- touch DIL's belly before she's pregnant or even TTC and say that it's time for another grandbaby (ummm....don't you already have 17 snotty nose grandchildren running around here?)

- spank said snotty nose grandchildren at will (if she so much as even begins to think about doing this to my little Santiago...I am going to lose it and it will not be pretty)

- tell my DIL that son asked me to come to stay with her for 2 years after grandchild is born because DIL is too busy with her work when *in fact* son said no such thing to me (thankfully she's too afraid to fly to follow thru on this one)

- ask son for $100 every month for over a year to "pay for medicine", and then actually use it to buy bratty, full of attitude daughter (my sister in law) designer jeans and get her hair highlighted.

- insist on walking into guestroom while son and DIL are staying there without knocking first

- actually pause and wait for a response when forced to knock bc DIL insists, rather than knocking as I'm opening the door

- get a job and use birthcontrol and not continue to have babies with my unemployed husband and end up with 10 kids and absolutely no income other than public assistance for decades (the oldest kid is 45, the youngest is 16).

- tell son and DIL that I will not be attending their wedding because I'm too afraid to fly *before* they buy a non-refundable, non-transferable (international travel) plane ticket for me

- not buy DIL ugly-ass dust collectors to "decorate" her home

Oh, I could go on and on.....




Lydia
Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03

[aliceinwonderland]

REALLY?? OMG! I don't even know what to say/type after that!!

[ddmarsh]

"1- Only call my son on his cell phone so as to avoid having to actually speak to his wife"

That would be one of mine as well.

Also:

- leave the country on a vacation during my son's brain surgery and then tell everyone it was because my DIL "purposely" scheduled the surgery during my trip

- write a letter to my son, send it to his business p.o. box and proceed to say nasty things about my DIL in it

- make up things my DIL has done to me and then bring them up every time I become angry

- decide that I am angry at my son and DIL based upon my own psychotic reasons and then have no contact with my grandchildren as well

- not see my granddaughter for over a year - last time seen was at 9 months (see above for the reason)

- in general be a completely insane, dysfunctional, narcissistic, mean-spirited MIL

[starrynight]

These include my own mother and all my inlaws(including dh's siblings)

I will not complain when my children/inlaw have a(nother) baby because IMO it's not the right time for them.

I will not ask when my dil is getting her tubes tied while she is pregnant.

I will not ask "what do the kids need/want for xmas.bday etc." and then buy total opposite, especially things on the do not buy list.

I will not spank my grandchildren or threathen them if they touch my stuff that I will (this goes for sil actually grrr).

I will not try and talk any of my kids' out of marrying someone they want to marry.

I will not insist on trying heavily to influence what the name of my future grandchild will be and even call said child the names that I want when the kid is born eventhough I know the name the parents picked out.

I will not run the show when I go to visit, I will not be overbearing and nosey.

I could go on so I will stop now.


Anna, geesh I think you win for worst story {hugs}.

[JFC]

Ahhhh, another vacuum cleaner recipient - my MIL sent me one for my 30th birthday! Of course, this is the same woman who SCRUBS my shower before getting in it - meanwhile my cleaning lady came that day and it was clean, just not clean enough...

[ALLEYCAT]

I would love to be taken care of. What are you talking about? I thought Anna had it made!

PS: This will come back to haunt me won't it?!

[mudder17]

Hee, hee! I will say that in my early days, after my milk first came in, I definitely could have pumped out a pitcher full. Well, actually, I never did pump in my first 2-3 months. I just "squeezed". When I was full, squeezing out 2-4 ounces took a couple minutes, seriously. I was a total geyser. :)

Of course, fast forward to now and I'm having supply issues because of my illness and not drinking enough water, etc. But my LC's have assured me that it'll come back. I just have to be patient and use the pump, etc. I'm just glad I had a freezerful of the stuff from the early days! (I never used them because Kaya didn't take the bottle.)


Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[Emmas Mom]

Speaking of your illness (& not too get totally OT here), I hope you are feeling as well as possible & that your procedure goes well on Friday. I lurk a lot more than I post (on personal threads) but I was reading about what you've been experiencing.

Assuming we have another child, I'd like to nurse longer than I did with DD. My production level was never great though so we'll have to face that challenge when it comes. My MIL just happens to be a LC & maybe living with her will help. So...maybe someday I will have a pitcher of EBM in the fridge (or freezer)!! We'll have to label it for FIL's sake. he he he :D

[starrynight]

Well if I'm taking it the way it should be taken in a bad inlaw story thread I'm assuming it was meant as in hit man type taken care of.

But if I'm wrong sorry Anna!

[jesseandgrace]

Hmmm

I will not beg to babysit for grandchildren and then smoke pot to the extent that DIL (ME) feels a contact high when the door opens. (I went crazy over this, but we were not able to get her to admit to a problem).

I will not tell my son and DIL that their baby is really smart, and then add oh well, I guess it runs in the family, because DH's brother is smart. (Note: couldn't be me or dh...)

Or, I will never tell my daughter in law that I wish my son was still a baby so that he can just sit on my lap all day still. (YUCK).

I will never manipulate a 4 year old grandchild into saying things like "well, you know who I love most of all because her is sick and needs me more than anyone, GRAMMY". (yes, he says "her" instead of she - so cute :).)

I will never tell my DIL that my son has never in his entire life, even as a child, done anything wrong, said to make a point that any problem is clearly because of DIL.

Yup, I have my complaints, and I will never let her babysit, but I have to admit that I love her even though she makes me crazy. And, I know she loves my kids, so I am very thankful for that. I actually tease her about most of the above (except the drug problem obviously),

[Mommy_Again]

>
>Watch my jet-lagged grandchildren have a normal screaming
>tantrum because they can't play with my breakable sculptures
>and then tell my DIL, "But MY son was never like this as a
>child. I wonder where they get it from?" and then glare at
>DIL.
>

I'd tell her "maybe it skips a generation."

[MelissaTC]

She generally means well but there are a few things that well, grrr...

I will never...

tell my DIL and DS that they are too young to be having children when they are going through infertility treatments and then say nothing when SIL gets pregnant younger than DIL and at a not so good time for SIL & BIL financially...

practically ignore my Grandson. I never get to see him because we live far away and instead focus all my attention on my other Grandson who I get to see all the time...

continuing with #2, not taking any photographs of my Grandson when I do see him, but instead take photos of my other Grandson, even though I see him every week because he lives 10 minutes away...

not hang or frame any of the photographs my DS and DIL send me but instead put out lots of photos of my DD's son...

not hold or even so much as change a poopie diaper of my DIL's son but do everything I possibly can for DD's son...

call my DIL and ask about my Grandson only to immediately switch the focus of the conversation on my other Grandson and speak of him forever, not asking once about what my other Grandson is doing...

buy my DD's son lots of gifts but never get my other Grandson anything unless it is super cheap and junk...

treat my DIL well until she and DS decide to get married by a Judge because of DS's job transfer. Even though they planned a church wedding and got married by a Priest 8 months later, it wasn't good enough. I will never not respect their marriage and tell them that they are not married but living together because their marriage was not performed in a Church.

not go to my son's wedding because it is performed by a Judge, not a Priest. see previous.

buy my DIL junkie gifts. She doesn't need a cheap, see through polyester bathrobe, or an ugly plaid wallet. She doesn't need a Christmas throw rug. I will always keep the tags on items in case she wants to exchange her gifts.

I could go on and on... *sigh*...

[lcl]

wow, this sounds exactly like my MIL.

also "decorates" my house and goes into all of my closets and drawers incl underwear drawer. also shows up to DIL house unannounced or with 5 min notice and ignore grandson during entire visit by "cleaning " DIL's house (not a pigsty but MIL is OCD in arranging items). makes plans to drop by DIL's and son's house with entire extended family when in fact DIL had plans with her mother for mother's birthday. then commenting, "but I thought you had the day off from work"

additionally, I would not : comment on DIL's "uneven breasts", "large arms" , and "pantyline"

state that breastfeeding is easy while she never did it herself and while DIL was suffering painful plugged ducts.

buy leopard print lingerie for son to give DIL

repeatedly comment that grandson is a picky eater and fussy right to his face, while she was doing the same (ie not eating apple skin)

states that grandsons stubborness was from DIL because she asked DIL's mother whether she was stubborn as a child (in fact DIL's mother never stated that )

stated that it is "DIL's son" who was doing all that crying when whole family was over for Thanksgiving when DIL came down to the scene. In fact grandson was hungry and they never bothered to try to feed him

go through DIL's luggage every day when traveling and packing DIL's luggage on return trip back home.

passive agressive commenting such as "so and so" (insert med school classmates name, we are now practicing physicians)is so "polished" after spending a night in 1 room motel with MIL and DS after we missed a flight without luggage or toiletries.

basically being very overbearing and controlling (took over entire wedding shower, wedding, baby shower planning)

sorry, i could go on and on

[brubeck]

Good one! Unfortunately I can only do that in my mind. I do NOT want to rock the boat with my ILs because visits are (almost) bearable now. But you never know, it might slip out when we visit in January.... }(

[brubeck]

Wow that OCD thing sounds terrible! Plus you can't 'hide' her hideous gifts if she's rummaging through your stuff!

I HATE that. It's MY home. I cna have it set up the way I want!

Oh as to the cleaning, I forgot one. I kil myself to clean my house whenever the in-laws come visit but MIL always seems to make some snarky comment or ask where we keep cleaning supplies. This coming from a woman who has a maid come in twice a week! She even did it when they visited and I was 8 months pg. I had had a terrible time cleaning up but she still had to sniff at it. Grrrr!

[pritchettzoo]

Yep. I thought she was teasing so I didn't answer--sorry to ignore!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)
and One More (coming July '05)

[lcl]

funny, still sounds like my mil. she has maid service for just her and her husband every week. this thread is making me feel better. thanks.

[lmladuke]

Oh gosh, where do I begin??????

Here is my "Top 10 List" of When I am a MIL I won't:

10. Try to plan my son's wedding because my own daughter is gay and I will never be the mother of the bride

9. Have to have a separate bridal shower for future DIL for same reason as above - but then tell people that the reason she was having a separate shower was because Bride's mother was not going to invite groom's family to shower (not true)

8. Cry throughout the entire wedding and then never speak with new DIL the whole day.

7. Upon hearing son and DIL are expecting tell DIL that sshe (MIL) is going to have her wedding gown cut up and made into a christening gown for new grandchild (um - WHO is the childs mother??) This did not happen by the way - I put my foot down!

6. After grandchild is born, say "lets take a family photo with the new baby" and then give the camera to the baby's MOTHER to take the pic of MIL, FIL and DH with baby.

5. Buy a bunch of CRAP for my grandchildren despite constant requests for less toys, and more practical gifts (like savings bonds)

4. Buy my son a million nice gifts for his birthday, but give his wife a box filled with pads of paper and napkins

3. Erect an 8 foot blow-up Santa on my son and DIL's front lawn when they are at work and then wonder why they don't like it.

2. Bathe myself in really stinky perfume before I go to visit with new grandchild. Then hold said baby for an hour, so that she stinks of same awful perfume and then new tired mom has to bathe baby.

I could go on forever - but I guess the number 1 thing I hope I will not do when I am a MIL is treat my children's spouse as if they are not members of the family, and totally disrespect all of their wishes when it comes to their own children out of some need to be in control of everyone...

Lori

Mommy to Jonathan Matthew 7/27/01
and Katherine Olivia 7/28/04

http://lilypie.com/baby1/050728/2/13/3/-5/.png

[anamika]

They were all pretty funny but #6 cracked me up. Sounds like something my MIL would do.
Here's more -
When my DIL is crying her heart out b'cos her milk hasn't come in and her 3 day old baby is refusing to feed, I will not stand by looking like a constipated cow, staring at the ceiling. I will offer support and encouragement.
I will not keep reminding my DIL that my daughter's milk came in in 2 days.
I will not compare my grandchildren.
And so on.....

[billysmommy]

6. After grandchild is born, say "lets take a family photo with the new baby" and then give the camera to the baby's MOTHER to take the pic of MIL, FIL and DH with baby.


This is what my MIL did as well...Also in our wedding pictures there is one of DH, myself and my side of the family, however when MIL wanted a picture of their side of the family, I was not in the picture. The photographer even said where is the bride going to stand and MIL said "she is not part of this side of the family". DH went along for the picture so as not to ruin the day but really let her have it the next day. Of course that was all my fault for "being a baby" about it!!!!

[lcl]

sorry did not know how to edit. meant to also add that i would not self-invite myself to my sons and DILs disney vacation after finding out DIL's mother was coming and book hotels without asking bc DIL's choice was too "rustic". (my mother ended up canceling when she found out MIL was coming)

also, I also clean up intensively before MIL arrives and still she has to " clean and rearrange"

[mudder17]

:D

Actually, the difficult part for me is that I never had problems with production, and in fact, didn't have to pump in the beginning at all (just squeezed). And then later, when I did need to pump, I just used a hand pump. So it's kind of a new experience for me to have to rely on a hospital-grade pump to increase my supply (see my other thread).

Oh, and my cousin has had some supply issues, but the pump she has has really helped her maintain her supply and her babe is 6.5 months and still nursing well. She also hopes to nurse for a year.

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[nov02mom]

OMG! The perfume thing! I have some serious scent allergies and it got so bad that I had to threaten to leave my DH before he would say anything to his mom!!!!!!!! 9And I mean I was packing clothes!)

[mommy_someday]

My in-laws are all pretty great for the most part. But one thing that really annoys me around this time of year is...

Every Christmas there are about 20 of us crammed in a little room to open presents. MIL wants to make sure everyone has something, so she buys tons of little presents and wraps them individually. Then everyone opens their gifts, one person at a time, one gift at a time. Each gift is then passed around the room so that everyone gets a chance to see it. Last year, every person had a laundry basket full of presents to open, so that particular part of Christmas took nearly 5 hours - I am NOT joking! And to top it all off, DH's family is really loud and boisterous, so I generally have a headache after the first hour of present opening. Next Christmas, we will have three more babies and that many more presents to open. I know I sound totally ungrateful, but I really just want to shoot myself every holiday because of this. It feels so gift-centered to me. I'm thinking of trying to skip it this year since I'm on bedrest. Hee-hee. :O)

[C99]

I will try not to do the following. Some are things that my FIL did. Some are that my MIL did. And not always to me.

...badger a FDIL or FSIL about why his or her political views are wrong and s/he should change to my way of thinking...in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. Or really, at any other time. I will also try to abstain from using crap arguments to "win" the political discussion. (Though, really, if my kid ends up a Republican or marrying one, this will be hard.)

...question a FDIL or FSIL about why s/he wants to have a party because I don't want to attend that party.

...blame my children for their sexual orientation and cry about it to everyone who will listen.

...insist that we invite my husband's work colleagues and associates to my child's wedding.

...imply that she should stop breastfeeding because my child/FDIL "looks tired" 4 months post-partum.

...insist that some holidays on the calendar are MINE and resort to guilt-tripping, crying or pleading to get my children to spend them with me.

...take my injured granddaughter *out* of her mother's arms where she was being comforted after she's just whacked her head on the coffee table in her great-grandfather's house and has to go to the ER for stitches at 18 months of age.