Is it normal for it to hurt this much?

[June Mommy]

I'm embarrassed to ask, but DH and I have only attempted DTD twice since DS was born, because it is impossibly painful for me. Weird thing is, I had a c-section, so no episiotomy or anything. What amount of pain down there is normal after birth, especially 5 months later?

[kristine_elen]

I don't know what DTD is, but if it's sex ... It's (likely) a hormonal imbalance -- that can actually affect your size. A doctor can prescribe a cream for you, although if you're breastfeeding you might want to check on effects, if any, on baby.

[lisaE]

Ok, I'm feeling especially dumb. What is DTD?

[C99]

DTD = doing the dance?

Yes, it's normal for sex to hurt at first. It gets better the more you do it, Lube up really well before you go at it, too, and see if that helps. If it is impossibly painful (and not just uncomfortable), see your GYN and have yourself checked out.

[bluej]

Pretty sure it's 'Doing The Deed'.

I have no experience with sex after C-section so I can't help you out there. Sorry! I would definitely talk to your doc about it though.

[octmom]

Do The Deed?

Jerilyn
DS, Sean 10/03

"Baby makes days shorter, nights longer, home happier, and love stronger."

[suribear]

I'm assuming you mean sex??

It can still hurt, even after a c-section, especially if you went through labor.

Hormonal changes due to breastfeeding can also cause pain. The best thing is to keep trying, use lubrication, go slow and eventually it should improve. Or ask your OB for advice, as there are some creams, etc.. that might help.

Kris

[Rachels]

Ask about the est-ring. I used it, and it made a WORLD of difference while being safe for nursing. Lwo estrogen and painful sex is one of those biological functions to keep people from having too many babies at one time. But biology didn't take birth control into account. There's no need to suffer. PM me if you want more info.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif Two years and counting!

[Emmas Mom]

That was the biggest shock to me. I mean, you just recently push a mini watermelon out & you'd think you'd be even more "loose" than you were before the baby. Sorry, that doesn't quite sound right but you know what I mean. I just chalked it up to another one of those things no one tells you! Needless to say, I will always tell my good friends now who are about to have their first. It's a possibility anyway. Seriously it took me months to feel normal again. Go figure.

[JLiebCamm]

It took me around 10 months not to find it painful. Hang in there and try the suggestions of the other posters.

[mamicka]

Well, without knowing what "this much" means, I would say yes. I also had a c-section & was really surprised at how much sex hurt. I second the recommendations for lots of lube & it does get better each time. Even a year later, it still started out as not pleasant. But now it's fine. Just make sure you communicate to DH how you're feeling - my DH knew that he had to start really slowly or it wasn't happening. Sorry if TMI.

Allison

[new_mommy25]

I had a pretty nasty episiotomy that I'm still mad about and it took me a year to finally get things back to normal. I would say that at 15 months pp I am completly recovered and back to my old self. Sorry if that was tmi.

[sdbc]

I also had a c-section and was surprised by the same thing. Even lots of KY jelly didn't help much, so it wasn't ONLY a lubrication issue. Are you nursing? My OB said that as long as I am nursing, my hormone level will be different which leads not only to less lubrication, but also thinner vaginal walls (tmi?) that would be more irritable. She prescribed an estrogen cream (Estrace, I think?) that you apply a few times per week. It doesn't enter the bloodstream much, so doesn't affect BF. It has helped quite a bit.

DD is nearly 7 months old and still bf. While bf is worth it, I still don't have much sex drive back (I was a machine while pg!!) even though that cream helps with discomfort. I guess it's the one downside of bfing...

Hope this wasn't tmi, but I wanted to help.

Sue

[amp]

I had a csection and I did not have the pain you are describing, although just the thought of sex, and even pain of anything touching or resting on my belly/incision freaked me out for a bit. But I know we were comfortably having sex much sooner than you are talking about. I wouldn't be terribly worried, since others are giving you reasonable explanations, but I would definitely ask your OB. That's what she's there for and I'm sure this is not a new question to her. Go ahead, ask her. You'll feel better once you do get some reassurance and possibly a solution.

[sdbc]

Andrea--

I'm just curious--are you breast or bottle feeding? My docs explanation was that the soreness was due to breast feeding hormone levels.

Sue

[amp]

My son is 18 mths old now, and I no longer have any issues with this. But I did only try to breastfeed for the first week or two, without success. From then on, he was bottle fed, so that may explain why I didn't have any issues later on.

[sdbc]

That makes sense. It is consistent with the idea that the soreness is more from hormones related to bf than hormones related to the birth. I bet many women who had vaginal deliveries assume that all the soreness arose from damage during the delivery, while much of it is probably hormonal.

[candybomiller]

Sex is HORRIBLY painful for me. And Matt is 2.5 years old! When I discussed it with my gyno, he said I had vulvar vestibulitis. He prescribed me a cream, but that hasn't helped at all. Now he's saying it's just something I'm going to have to live with.

If it doesn't get better, talk to your gyno. Maybe it's not "normal" and something can be done to help you.

[starrynight]

{hugs} I hope you figure it out soon. I didn't have a csection so I don't have experience in that area.

[psophia17]

I had a c-section, and then BF for 10.5 months.

My abs were shot after the c-section, though, and if I did anything besides lay there I would suffer for days afterwards. The first time we tried was horrible - I was in agony, and DH wasn't anywhere near able to get in, lube or no (sorry if TMI). This scared DH off for weeks. It was September before DH believed me that I was recovered enough to enjoy myself.

In the meantime, it worked for us to cuddle LOTS, and if that lead to anyone getting satisfaction, it took a little of the fear factor away.

HTH, and good luck.

ETA: I sent you an email through the boards

[Bethann31]

Candy,

Thinking about your recent posts, I just wanted to throw in there that sex with my ex was unbearable. All the time. Even when my children were way older than Matt. The gyno didn't know why, I didn't know why and it definitely was an influencing factor in the demise of my marriage (that and his serial infidelity, but that's a whole different saga). When I kicked him out and met DH, the world changed for me and sex didn't hurt any more and my sex drive went back to normal and I just WANTED IT, which I had never ever felt since High School when I met my ex.

To make a long, WAY TMI post a bit shorter, I'm just wondering if the meds you are taking and your mental state may be influencing every area the way mine did. I'm not saying you should get a divorce by ANY MEANS, but I was just thought you might talk to your counselor/doctor about it. Sometimes we segregate what we talk to different professionals about, but it really is all interrelated.

Beth

[ktdid74]

I had 2 c/s and though I don't remember what it was like after #1, DTD after DD was born was *horrible*!! To top it off, any kind of lube seemed to burn. My OB recommended cooking oil or olive oil (I went with Crisco oil) and it was much more tolerable (not enjoyable, but tolerable). I breastfed with both and mine was mostly a dryness issue but also some muscle spasm-like pain. No one ever tells you about these things :)
At the OB office I work at, we do give some women Estrace cream occassionally. The Estring is on a nationwide backorder from what I've heard. Good luck!

[calebsmama03]

Haven't read the other posts, so sorry if it's a repeat...
I had a lot of pain for 6 months. I'd had a minor tear but nothing too bad. I finally went to the doc and for me it was a combo of things - I had bacterial vaginitis (like a yeast infect, but bacteria) apparently this is really common to develop during pregnancy or delivery and for me the only symptom was pain after sex. Also, BFing causes your estrogen levels to be low, which can thin you vaginal tissues. The doc gave me a cream to use (so it wouldn't affect my supply) and suggested using lots of lubricant every time. It did finally get better, and I'm so glad I went to the doc over it!

FWIW - if BV ends up being the culprit, taking probiotic supplements has helped a lot! I also googled it and found lots of natural remedies that I use when I suspect I'm getting it.

Good luck!
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
Oh my!! #2 5/05