Another school ?s - changing schools and non-neighborhood schools

[egoldber]

Just curious to hear from those who experienced this from either the parent or child perspective.

We are considering sending DD to an elementary school that offers language immersion. There are some programs that start in Kindergarten, but most of them start in first grade. Which means she would attend K at one school (the one closest to us) and then switch at first grade to another school. This school would not be our neighborhood school (although still in our district) and she would be there until middle school.

For middle school, to continue in the language immersion, she would have to attend the feeder MS for the ES she went to, which again is not our neighborhood school.

Some parents I have talked to in my playgroup, although interested in the immersion program, expressed concern about sending their kids to a non-neighborhood school and about switching schools.

Since so many of my neighbors send their kids to private schools for one reason or another, the whole neighborhood school thing never even really occured to me, but now it has.

So for those who attended non-neighborhood schools or switched schools in mid-stream, did you find this to be an issue?

Thanks!

[MartiesMom2B]

I plan on sending Martie into a year-round magnet school (which hopefully she'll get into -it's picked by lottery). It's in our neighborhood now, but if we move it won't be.

My babysitters also went to that school and went to the year round middle school. They loved it. My one babysitter is in highschool now and had no problem transitioning (I think most of the people who went to the year round schools went to a different h.s.)

My other friend sent her daughter to the local elementary school for kindergarten and then she was accepted into the year round for first grade. She said that she was a little concerned at first, but it ended up to be no big deal.

I hope this helped.

-Sonia

[jd11365]

I was placed in a special gifted program from 1st-6th grade that was not in my neighborhood. It was difficult to maintain friends in my neighborhood because I didn't go to the same school as my neighbors. I was an only child which didn't make things better on that end. That said, having her little sister will put Sarah in a different place, always having her best friend right at home. My mom also worked full-time as a single parent, so travelling to my friend's houses outside of my neighborhood wasn't as much of an option as it might be for you.

HTH!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
May '03

[HGraceMom]

Let's see... you just described almost exactly my school experience...

I went to our local public school for kindergarten, and my parents moved me to a private school beginning in first grade - that transition was no problem whatsoever. Looking back, I was the only child who came from my particular kindergarten, and still did ok, had plenty of friends, etc. Actually, the only negative grade school experience came as that I was the only child in my neighborhood to go to a private school, so in the summer, it was a rough first couple of weeks getting "in" with the other children. We lived in the rural outskirts of a mid-size town, and there just wasn't an opportunity for summer classes, programs, sports, etc. at the time.

Then, my parents moved cities so I started middle school (7th grade) two hours away - that transition was much more difficult, as I attended a k-8 school and was quickly labled the "new girl." The boys gave me lots of attention (much to all the other girl's dismay) which didn't help the situation - I didn't care for it, and the girls became, in retrospect, jealous. I was pretty talented, got the lead in the musical, was on the may court (teacher chosen) and was a top student chosen for all the academic competitions, none of which helped in the least. Middle school girls are awful when you're the outsider.

The high school transition went much better - I continued in the same private school, but the size of the class doubled for high school, bringing in half the class from the k-8 building, and the other half from other parochial and private k-8 schools in the area. There were enough new kids that I was able to find friends, and really pull ahead academically without pressure. There were still girls who didn't like me, and I wasn't in the "in" crowd with them, but looking back, there would've been worse things, for sure.

My sister was 3 years behind me and had none of the issues I had in jr. high, starting at that school instead in 4th grade - she was a Ntl. Merit finalist, Tuba player in the marching band, salutatorian, and Homecoming Queen... We're very much alike, but I think the earlier grade transition had everything to do with her ease and success, especially in high school.

[bluej]

My kids change schools quite a bit and neither of them have had any problems adjusting and making friends in school...yet. I realize that our next move will probably be the most difficult for Alex. Anyway, this is the second time Alex has gone to a school other than the one in our neighborhood and/or district. It isn't easy to get to know any of the kids in the neighborhood and I do regret it somewhat. But schooling is more important to me and they do have friends at school so I don't let it get to me too much. It's hard to get together with their friends outside of school b/c of the distance and schedules but through activities and such they do get to see them. It's not a perfect plan, but for us, sending our kids to public school isn't the perfect plan either (not knocking public schools, we have used them and we have great ones in our current district).

[Rachels]

My sister and I both went to non-neighborhood schools, both of us for middle school and Tracy for high school as well. It was a wonderful experience. I didn't mind it at all and got a MUCH more diverse experience than I would have had if I had been just in a neighborhood school. It was so important to me (and remains so) that I would intentionally consider sending Abigail to a non-neighborhood school if there was a good one.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif Two years and counting!

[Karenn]

My main concern would be not whether she attended a neighborhood school or not, but whether or not she stayed with the same peer group when she made the switch to middle school. I switched to a private school after Kindergarten and had no troubles at all. In middle school I switched back to public schools, and that was a challenge. It was a really rough time to make the switch, especially for a shy person like I am. Even though I knew some kids from the neighborhood it was hard for me to connect with them in a different environment. For me, switching schools in MS was a much larger issue than attending a non-neighborhood school. I think if I could have continued with my peer group from private school, MS would have been a much happier time for me. (And it wasn't a HORRIBLE time- I did end up making my life long friends in middle school- it was just a real adjustment.)

[egoldber]

Here's my understanding of how the program works. There are several elementary schools that offer language immersion. More than one elementary school can feed into a middle school, which also offers the immersion program. So I am assuming that it would be a mixture of kids from the various elementary schools that would make up her classes in middle school.

The difficult part I suppose is high school. At this point, the program is only for elementary and middle school, although there are hopes of expanding into the high schools eventually (and that is a LONG way away for us...). So when it comes time for high school, you have to make a choice of either attending your neighborhood high school or the high school where all your middle school friends are going.

[lukkykatt]

I grew up in a neighborhood with a terrible elementary school. At the time, almost no one from our immediate neighborhood went there. Most people went to one of two Parochial schools in the neighborhood. I went to a magnet school about 2 miles away from home.

The school I went to was fabulous with a terrific program that I attended from K - 8. I had lots of friends at school. At about 2nd or 3rd grade though, I had trouble making/keeping friends in my neighborhood. Many of my girlfriends were getting involved in their school activities like cheerleading, softball, etc. Also alot of people would make comments about me being "stuck up, snobby" etc. all based on the fact that I didn't go to school where everyone else did. My high school was a college prep magnet school. By high school I did have more friends in the neighborhood, but I did not participate in after school activities because the school was not in a good neighborhood and I had to take the subway to school. It was also sometimes difficult getting together with school friends because they lived all over the city.

I would think that school location makes less of a difference now than it did when I was in school though. I think people move more now, I think it is more common not to go to a neighborhood school, etc. I am considering sending DS to private school, even after the awful experience I had - I really don't think it will matter as much now.

[egoldber]

That was my thinking too. But three of the moms in my group were so vehement in their opinions on neighborhood schools (one of whom is a teacher) that I was a little taken aback.

Thanks for your thoughts all!

[jubilee]

I just wanted to comment that it is great that you get to pick your schools! In my area, you have to have special permission by the district admin to go to a different school within the district- and they rarely give it out. I've heard of kids that in springtime move to a new house served by a different elementary school within the district and couldn't get permission to finish out the year in the prior school! And if you want to go OUT of the district- forget it. The schools are very possessive about tax dollars here. I wish they would be better here and have magnet schools too. We have nothing in my district for special schools (except high school alternative school).

[jamsmu]

Beth, before I even read about the private school part, thats what I was thinking. So many people go to privates not in their neighborhood and it doesn't seem to affect them. Although, I'm sure you'll get some BTDT responses here.

As for switching schools, I did it in 1st grade and it didn't affect me too much. As a teacher, I always recommended that students make the switch before middle school, its cool to be a new kid in ES. And so many kids switch between K and 1st that at our school we usually had a least one more 1st class than K, so she'll probably be just another new kid.

[parkersmama]

Beth, Parker goes to a non-neighborhood school. He attends a computer magnet program. We have been very happy with the education he's receiving there and feel he's getting more exposure to racial diversity as well as a bit higher level of education. There are minimum grade and behavior standards that must be kept.

So far the thing about not going to school with the neighborhood kids hasn't been a problem (he's in 2nd grade). We play with the kids on our street, the kids from church, and the kids at school so he has a wide group of friends. At this point, he would attend our neighborhood middle school but it is one of the top schools in the city (but doesn't have the racial diversity). There are several magnet HS programs so chances are he'd attend one of those.

I have a friend at our school & church whose oldest dd started at one school (neighborhood) for kindergarten and then got into the magnet school about 2 weeks into first grade. She made the switch quite easily and I think they feel like it was the right decision.

My only worry about our magnet school is that there has been some grumbling among the parents lately that the children are only being appreciated for their brains/academic achievement and that they are beginning to lean too heavily on test scores and teaching to the test. I haven't seen that in Parker but the things I'm hearing are from parents who had kids there under the previous principal and can see the changes that have been made. I curse, curse, curse "No Child Left Behind"!! It's a system that is letting our children fall between the cracks while programs are cut and teachers and administrators scramble to make sure that their test scores are good. GRrrrrr. (enough ranting.)

Anyway, our non-neighborhood school has been a positive experience so far and I'm glad we went that route.