Do you write a thank you note for every gift you receive?

[KBecks]

I have been writing many thank you gifts because DS has received so many since his birth.

I also want to teach the kiddo good manners about thank you notes.

However, I'll admit, I don't always send thank you notes. I've never sent TYs to my relatives for things like Christmas gifts, but I do send TY notes for events, such as the baby shower, my wedding, etc.

When do you, personally, send TY notes? And what will you teach your kiddos?

[dowlinal]

I voted for other. Similar to you I send a thank you for almost every gift except when there is a mutual exchange. So I have never sent a thank you at Christmas but I have always sent them for birthdays, events, and every gift sent for Madeline. I plan to teach her the same.

[steph2003]

I send TY notes for every gift I receive (or my DS receives) Christmas, birthdays, etc. Maybe it is overkill. I think someone posted awhile back that etiquette wise a TY note is not necessary if a thank you is acknowledged at the time when the gift is given. But IMHO that is just good manners/no brainer to say "thanks" when someone hands you a gift - you should follow up with a note after as well saying how much you enjoyed the gift or what the money will be used for if the gift is money. That is just me though & maybe that is overkill.

I even write TY notes to my parents when for Christmas gifts, birthday money, etc. Again, maybe it is overkill but I think written correspondance is a dying thing & I admit I like an excuse to use pretty stationery :)

My two older nieces never acknowledge our birthday gifts/Christmas gifts with TY notes & it drives me crazy!!! at this point I'd welcome an email thanks or even a phone call!

[nwaddellr]

I guess I'm like you - I think TYs are very important, but have never thought to send them after Christmas or birthdays - just events like showers and weddings. Now I do vaguely remember sending letters to great-grandparents after Christmas when I was young, but that was more let them know what was going on in my life versus a strict thank you note.

[jbowman]

I write thank-you notes for every gift we receive, except for Christmas gifts from immediate family members. I plan to teach Ellie to write TY notes for all occasions, but let her know that immediate family members don't expect TY notes for Christmas.

[usfrph]

I voted for every single gift. If it's a souvenir brought back from someplace our friends visited I follow up with an email thank you.
It makes me soo mad that my siblings don't *EVER* write me thank you cards so I always have to ask if they received the gift.

Even when we've thanked the giver in person we follow up with how DS has enjoyed the gift.

[McQ]

Same here. I write a thank you for everything. I'll even write one to my mom who just came up last weekend to babysit and brought small random gifts to the kids. I want her to know I appreciate her time (she's not local so it's a big effort for her).

I've had on my do to list for ages to get the kiddos personalized stationary. I have my own but want it to come from them.

It's a peeve of mine when people don't say thank you. Even someone gives you something or helps you out, say thank you.

Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

[Dcclerk]

Every single one. (Well, come to think of it, my sibs and I don't always exchange thank yous.) But other than that, everyone gets a thank you note. My parents were rigorous about this growing up and it has just become a thing for me. In fact, guilt will start looming overhead if I don't get one out within a week or 2. (Though I definitely have been later than that often! ;) ) My DH used to think that I was ridiculous about the thank you note thing, but now he is just as much of a die-hard as I. I think he has really come around to my thought that if someone took the time to get and give you a present, you can spend the 5 minutes to write the card.

Here is another quirk of mine... the thank you message has to take up the entire card. No big blank space at the bottom. (As you can imagine, I do not buy the 5X7 cards;) ).

[cuca_]

I voted for gifts that I wasn't able to say thanks in person. By this I don't mean a simple thanks upon receiving the gift. I don't write a thank you note only if I opened the gift in front of the gift giver and thank him/her appropiately. Also, I do not write thank you notes to close family members if I call them specifically to thank them for the gift.


Carmen
DD May 2003
#2 expected in May 2005!

[jpang]

I try to write thank you notes for all gifts except Christmas. That said, a few notes have been late. Depending on the gift-- especially if the sender is far away and has really taken some trouble-- I try to enclose a photo of DD wearing or playing with the gift.

We've used up more than 5 boxes of thank you notes; I think this means we are very lucky (others would say "blessed"). I wish I were more creative and made my own notes, but this is the best I can do for now.

Other people not sending thank you notes is not a big deal to me, but I do worry if I don't receive some sort of acknowledgement (email, phone call, whatever) that the gift didn't arrive. For this reason, I'll sometimes send an email right away with an acknowledgement, then a handwritten thank you note later.

[C99]

When my MIL comes over to babysit and brings Nate a teddy bear or pair of overalls or something, I usu. just thank her in person and don't bother with a note, or I may lump them all together as a general thank you and send it. For every other occasion -- and especially at Christmas and birthdays -- I write a note.

[AvasMama]

I know it is ungrateful and horrible, but I hate writing thank you notes. I don't mind at all if someone doesn't send me one as long as I know they got the gift. It is always a chore and I hate that my giving someone a gift makes them feel obligated to write me a note.

I wish my mom had been stricter about it when I was little and then maybe I wouldn't dread it so much. I send notes to people I know will care and profusely thank the others (friends, immediate family) in a phone call or in person.

On a side note... why is it the wife/mom who always has to write the note? When Ava was born, we got some gifts from members of DH's family and a few of his mom's friends who I had never even met. I asked him to write thank you notes to them. Of course, he didn't and now *I* am the one who is seen as having bad manners b/c I didn't thank these people.

Robyn & Ava

[steph2003]

For baby gifts I admit I did write all of the TYs even though some were from my DH's family (or friends) but I think almost all of them I knew....

but for our wedding gifts - the ones from his friends that I did not know I MADE him write them. Yes, I admit I nagged him until they were done :) for stuff like hia birthdays & Christmas gifts I don't "make" him write notes but I do encourage him to call & offer his thanks which he does oblige in that way.

[amp]

I voted for "every single gift", but actually, I try to do it for every single gift and sometimes forget or if it's a tiny, unexpected, un-holiday/occasion thing, I sometimes just don't even think of it. If it's a substantial or especially thoughtful gift, i'll send a thank you even if it wasn't for an occasion or whatever. But there are little things my IL's bring Jake that I just don't think warrant a thank you. Especially when they don't expect/appreciate or recipricate when gifts are given to them. Otherwise, I have a thank you in the mail pronto, and I'm kinda known for it! So I guess I exaggerated my vote a bit, but it's what I strive for.

[Judegirl]

Yep, every single gift. I'm already looking forward to when she can write them herself.

They keep coming in, too. I was writing thank you notes until November, and now the holidays are here, so it starts again. :)

My nieces and nephews - teenagers now - have never written thank you notes. It drives me nuts.

I say buy a few big boxes at a good price. :)

Jude

[StaceyKim]

I voted that I write thank you's for every gift. This is true but I don't write TY's to my parents for every gift because I would literally be sending one to them every single day!!!!

I send TY's for b-day gifts, wedding, shower, etc.

It annoys me when people don't send a TY because I have no idea if they got the gift. I think it is also proper to send someone a TY within a certain timeframe as well.

My DC are too young to write TY's, so I write them for them but they will learn when the time comes.

[Melanie]

I voted "Only gifts I was not able to say thank you for in person," but then realized that's not exactly true and can't change my vote!

For example, I write thank you notes for shower/birthday/holiday gifts just b/c it is so chaotic that I may get out a "thank you very much" but it's not super meaningful as the next gift is grabbed for. However, if you were to stop by with a gift for some reason, no in the middle of a party, and we open it then I usually wouldn't.

[HGraceMom]

definitely yes, since most of DD's gifts are shipped to her. I absolutely hate having to call someone not knowing if their gift ever arrived -

DD traces her hand on a notecard and I write the words for her right now - when she's old enough to write her name, she'll do that, and eventually will write the whole card. It's important to me, so it'll be important to her.


side note: we went to a HS graduation party this summer - the thank you note came 3 months later, and said, I kid you not... "Joe and Jane, Thank you for my gifts certificate and coming to the party Jim" exact grammar and punctuation. I photo copied it and sent it to the HS principal (a prep school, no less!)