Advice and opinions, please

[candybomiller]

One of the things that's really been bothering me lately is the fact that I'm 26 and I still am not positive what I want to do with my life.

I've recently decided that I want to work with post-partum mothers. I was thinking that the best way to do that was to be a social worker specializing in post-partum moms. I found out that most (if not all) post partum stuff in Montana is done by nurses. There's NO WAY I want to go to nursing school. Blood completely skeeves me out (plus I faint way too easily).

So I'm thinking that maybe being a post-partum doula would be right for me. I want to be able to help women and families from going through what I went through. I want people to feel that they have someone to turn to during the hard time after birth.

So, my question is, what do YOU think about this? I'm worried that for some reason that I won't be good at this. I'm pretty sure that's the depression talking, because the other part of me says that this is perfect for me.

Help!

[MelissaTC]

*I* think it is wonderful. If you feel this is something that you want to do, I say go for it. I think you would be great! I, too, am not sure what I want to be when I grow up and I am going to be 30 in less than 6 months...YIKES!

[Saartje]

I'm in something of the same situation, so I have no advice... I might have thoughts for you later, but right now Isaac needs to sleep & won't, so I'll just cheer you on.

Go, Candy, go! Rah, rah, rah! *\o/*

[candybomiller]

LMAO!! You're an absolutely adorable cheerleader! :) Thanks.

[slknight]

I think it's a great idea! I think you'd be really good at it. I had a post-partum doula and loved her. You definitely don't need to be a nurse to be a pp doula.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm almost 35 and still don't know what I want to do with my life. LOL. I actually went through a really rough time around the age of 25, because I thought I should know by then. It was kind of like this "mid-20s life crisis." Now, almost 10 years later, I've kind of accepted the idea that I don't know, kwim?

(((Hugs))),
Susan

[jec2]

I say go for it too. Try anything that you think interests you. I am of the mind that only by experience do you know what it is you truly don't want to do :)

I am well on my way to 33 and everyday I come up with something else that I want to "be." Today I wanted to open a truly kid-friendly restaraunt.

[COElizabeth]

I'm less than a month from being 36, Candy, and I still feel the same way. I think being a post-partum doula would be wonderful, and I think you'd be great. I don't know a great deal about the training, etc., but I think you should definitely look into it, and perhaps others on the board can give you more info.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02
and Charlotte, 11-04-04

[crayonblue]

Candy,

I think that is a great idea! I didn't even know there was such a thing as post-partum doulas but I sure could have used one!

I feel the same way as you. I am 29 and all I know is that I want to be a mom. But, then, I wonder what I will do after the kids leave home (I know, this is a long time from now!).

[mamagoosie]

I think it sounds like a great idea. Can you get hooked up with a pp doula and "intern" with her for a while to try it out? I have no doubt you'd be awesome, but I think it might help to ease some of your doubts. Following your passion is always a good idea--and a recipe for success.

[Saartje]

I agree with Alex that "interning" with someone who is a pp doula for a little while would be a good idea. Should let you get a taste for it.

As for whether you'd be good at it, I suspect you would. DH only met you pretty briefly at the retreat, but he does remember you, and his guess is that you'd be very great at it. (I mention this because I find DH to usually be quite a good judge of character and abilities.)

So, what do you think about me as a financial planner? :P

(Sorry still so brief -- Isaac's having a rough day. I think he's teething again, though not drooling this time.)

[toomanystrollers]

Only 26!!!!! Man, you're still a babe :) GO FOR IT MAMA - from a almost 35 y.o. going back to school AGAIN (good excuse to get out at night)!!

[Bethann31]

Candy, I say GO FOR IT!! I think you would be wonderful, just from the advice and posts you have made on these boards.

And, I'll be 41 in 4 months (UGH!!!!) and I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I have 2 sets of children 10 years apart, 4 years ago I took a big right turn in my career and went into THEATRE!! Before that, I taught special education. HMMMM.... Maybe not so different after all..

Anyway, I think it's a great idea. Don't listen to that depression.


Beth
mom to:

Josh 3/90
Mollie 4/92
Jeffrey 12/94
Katherine 6/03

[jamsmu]

"It was kind of like this "mid-20s life crisis.""

I had that around 24. I remember crying to my mom that when she was my age she already had me and her life was set. Meanwhile, I wasn't even seriously dating anyone and was back in school without any clarity as to what would happen next. (BTW the guy I was dating turned out to become DH).

Candy, I think you are a great candidate for something like this. Go get it!!

[egoldber]

I wish I knew the answer to that question myself, and I am 36. I went through several career iterations in my work life from statistician to high powered management positions and now a SAHM. I realize when I re-enter the work force that I will need to essentially start over and I'm wondering if I should think about taking classes toward a degree.

I think that being a PP doula would be absolutely wonderful work. And interning would be a fabulous way to try it out.

[candybomiller]

I would *love* to intern, but as far as I can tell, there are NO postpartum doulas in Montana! There are some childbirth doulas, but only four in the whole state.

Any other advice on how to find someone to intern with? Can I come stay with someone for a while while I'm interning?? :)

[slknight]

Yep, I'd say 24-25 was the worst for me. With my 25th birthday being really bad.

I haven't read this book since it's pretty new, but I wish it had been published when I was going through that age. Candy, you might want to take a look at it:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1585421065/qid=1103077605/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/002-9314850-0476016

[slknight]

You want to come stay with me? Maine in the winter is probably as exciting as Montana. LOL. Actually, I am fairly friendly with the postpartum doula that I used. If you'd like, maybe I can hook you guys up via e-mail and you can get some ideas from her. Just let me know.

[candybomiller]

Susan, that would be awesome! My email is candybomiller @ hotmail.com (remove spaces). Thanks so much for the offer. :)

[slknight]

CYE! :-)

[candybomiller]

Got it! Thanks. :)

[ktdid74]

Yeah Candy- Come to Maine :) You can hang out with Susan and Barb and me! I'm an L&D nurse and I have to add that you sound like someone who would be great at it! Plus, just cause you go to nursing school doesn't mean you have to work around "skeevy" stuff :) however, you do have to deal with it during nursing school! I'm 30 (eek, did I say that out loud?) and I still wonder if there's something else I should be doing. Personally, I'd like to be a bartender on a cruise ship! Do what you think will make you happy!

[Vajrastorm]

Well, then no one will know if you are doing it correctly or incorrectly LOL.

I think it sounds like a great plan, and like your area could use someone in that role.

[Vajrastorm]

Well, then no one will know if you are doing it correctly or incorrectly LOL.

I think it sounds like a great plan, and like your area could use someone in that role.

[pritchettzoo]

My concern would be that there aren't any in Montana. Are y'all in Montana for the long haul? I mean, you could be a trailblazer, but if you need to make money at what you're doing consistently, it might not be a good choice. Even if you'd be good at it, there are practical considerations. For example, I would make a fan-freaking-tastic fairy princess. However, that's not a lucrative field. ;) I read once that the average person changes "careers" 7-10 times in a lifetime. I've been a teacher, then an attorney, then I quit law school halfway through to be a professor, then decided I couldn't leave the state (and my DH) for 5-7 years that would be necessary for me to be a professor, and then returned to law school. I'm 29. I'm barely practicing law, and certainly not in any field that I would consider interesting.

The only thing I'm sure about is Gracie and the-little-one-hopefully-to-be.

There are programs in GA where social workers or similarly-degreed individuals visit new moms. I think they make a visit in the hospital and then a follow-up at home (and more if necessary). It's basic child care instructions and talking/listening for potential problems. Here in GA, 76% (last stat I read) of the babies are born to unwed mothers*, and a high percentage (I forget what--upwards of 85% I think) of them are very young and know nothing about child care. In our parents' generation, home ec was mandatory for at least the girls, and basic child care was taught in home ec. Nowadays, that doesn't happen, and we wonder why so many young people have NO CLUE about the basics! I think home ec should be mandatory for boys and girls--no one knows how to cook or balance a checkbook anymore! Anyway, going off on a rant... BUT that kind of program may not exist where you are. It depends on what is needed out there. Do you like your ob/gyn? What about asking him/her what sort of services are needed by postpartum moms or available out there?

Good luck. You've got more than 2/3 of your life left. Don't worry about having enough time to figure things out! But it is very stressful, especially when you feel like your wheels are just spinning.

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying you have to be married to be a good mom. It's just another risk factor/stressor if you don't have a supportive partner, and I realize many married people have useless partners!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)
and One More (coming July '05)

[steph2003]

I read this book & highly recommend it. I felt like the authors took words right out of my mouths at times!

And Candy - I think you'd be wonderful as a PP doula. I wish I had one. I wish I had someone around to recognize & get me the help I needed after DS's birth.

[toomanystrollers]

"For example, I would make a fan-freaking-tastic fairy princess. However, that's not a lucrative field."

Anna,
Have you thought about stand-up comedy?
LMAO!!