sorry if this not right forum...but I really don't where else to turn

[lovemaggie]

hi,
I apologize ahead if my post below deemed inappropriate. But I really have no where to turn. I had received and read wonderful posts here about my baby questions.
My baby is barely four months old. But here I am asking to if anyone can give me advice on finding a good divorce attorney. I don't know how I end up in this road, but I guess there are some signs I just chose to ignore from the beginning. I'm taking care of myself during the pregnancy while he's at school financially supported by me, taking care of our son all by self just one week after my baby was born even though I had a C-section. My son had ezema all over the face and he barely laid eyes on him when he wasn't looking good ( my baby always good enough for the mom). I am raising a baby almost all on my own, being the only breadwinner of the family by holding a full time job and going to school part-time self. Yet I can't get a bit supportive and understanding words from him.
Sorry that I am being such a downer here. I just wonder if anyone here can shed some light how to start the process by finding a good and affordable divorce attorney. I live in cook county of Illinois.
Thanks for all your help and time.

[lovemaggie]

hi,
I apologize ahead if my post below deemed inappropriate. But I really have no where to turn. I had received and read wonderful posts here about my baby questions.
My baby is barely four months old. But here I am asking to if anyone can give me advice on finding a good divorce attorney. I don't know how I end up in this road, but I guess there are some signs I just chose to ignore from the beginning. I'm taking care of myself during the pregnancy while he's at school financially supported by me, taking care of our son all by self just one week after my baby was born even though I had a C-section. My son had ezema all over the face and he barely laid eyes on him when he wasn't looking good ( my baby always good enough for the mom). I am raising a baby almost all on my own, being the only breadwinner of the family by holding a full time job and going to school part-time self. Yet I can't get a bit supportive and understanding words from him.
Sorry that I am being such a downer here. I just wonder if anyone here can shed some light how to start the process by finding a good and affordable divorce attorney. I live in cook county of Illinois.
Thanks for all your help and time.

[lovemaggie]

hi,
I apologize ahead if my post below deemed inappropriate. But I really have no where to turn. I had received and read wonderful posts here about my baby questions.
My baby is barely four months old. But here I am asking to if anyone can give me advice on finding a good divorce attorney. I don't know how I end up in this road, but I guess there are some signs I just chose to ignore from the beginning. I'm taking care of myself during the pregnancy while he's at school financially supported by me, taking care of our son all by self just one week after my baby was born even though I had a C-section. My son had ezema all over the face and he barely laid eyes on him when he wasn't looking good ( my baby always good enough for the mom). I am raising a baby almost all on my own, being the only breadwinner of the family by holding a full time job and going to school part-time self. Yet I can't get a bit supportive and understanding words from him.
Sorry that I am being such a downer here. I just wonder if anyone here can shed some light how to start the process by finding a good and affordable divorce attorney. I live in cook county of Illinois.
Thanks for all your help and time.

[jd11365]

It's certainly not inappropriate. I'm terribly sorry you are having such a difficult time. I hope you find the answers you are looking for here...we have an amazing group of women here...many who have BTDT...many attorneys who have great legal advice...many who are just the most supportive people willing to lend an ear.

Please keep us posted as we will be thinking of you!

[jd11365]

It's certainly not inappropriate. I'm terribly sorry you are having such a difficult time. I hope you find the answers you are looking for here...we have an amazing group of women here...many who have BTDT...many attorneys who have great legal advice...many who are just the most supportive people willing to lend an ear.

Please keep us posted as we will be thinking of you!

[jd11365]

It's certainly not inappropriate. I'm terribly sorry you are having such a difficult time. I hope you find the answers you are looking for here...we have an amazing group of women here...many who have BTDT...many attorneys who have great legal advice...many who are just the most supportive people willing to lend an ear.

Please keep us posted as we will be thinking of you!

[TraciG]

I'm sorry you're going through this ! I admire you for doing so much !

Good luck !

[TraciG]

I'm sorry you're going through this ! I admire you for doing so much !

Good luck !

[TraciG]

I'm sorry you're going through this ! I admire you for doing so much !

Good luck !

[mysweetboy]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure you'll get some good advice from the wonderful ladies here.

Best of luck,
Lori
mommy to Charlie, 5/04
and a sweet baby girl due 10/05!

[mysweetboy]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure you'll get some good advice from the wonderful ladies here.

Best of luck,
Lori
mommy to Charlie, 5/04
and a sweet baby girl due 10/05!

[mysweetboy]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure you'll get some good advice from the wonderful ladies here.

Best of luck,
Lori
mommy to Charlie, 5/04
and a sweet baby girl due 10/05!

[kath68]

First off, hugs to you -- you are going throug a tough time and I am sure it looks bleak. You are handling so much, and the stress of a husband who isn't holding up his end must make matters so much worse.

If I were you, the first thing I would do is run, not walk, to your doctor. It is not uncommon for post partum depression to kick in with force for women in your situation. Not saying that what you are dealing with isn't very real. It is. But talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks. There might be help there.

Then, talk to your husband. Find out what the heck is going on with him. When DS was born, it threw my DH into a huge freak out. So much responsibility, so much desperate love for someone totally dependent on him. So little sleep. He had no baby skills whatsoever. He was unemployed, and felt like he was not contributing. It was like a bomb went off for him and he could hardly function, let alone help. He was so unprepared emotionally. He came around, though, in time. I had wild fantasies of exchanging him for another, more helpful DH, and I am glad I didn't.

Then, think about counseling. IMO, better to try to salvage the marriage if you can. Someone told me that you shouldn't do anything major to change your life for at least a year after you give birth. Seems like a good rule of thumb to me. I am in a totally different space now, 14 months after DS was born, then I was when he was four months old. I can't imagine doing everything you are doing -- is there any way you can cut back?

And then, only when nothing else works, would I think about divorce. Speaking as a lawyer, divorce is such an awful, expensive experience. I would start by calling the bar association in my county, to see if they have referrals. Don't know your financial situation, but the bar association might be able to point you to some low cost/free consulting. My county bar, for example, hosts free sessions with attorneys every month where you can get advice on all kinds of problems. At the very least, there should be a section of the bar association just for divorce (also called "family") lawyers. You could get some names from the bar association for prominent members of the family law section. Another rule of thumb, it is always good to talk to three attorneys before you hire one. If the bar assoc. is no help, the best way to get a lawyer is to ask people who have gotten divorces in your area if they liked their lawyer. IMO, the worst way to hire a lawyer is to go to the yellow pages.

HTH

[kath68]

First off, hugs to you -- you are going throug a tough time and I am sure it looks bleak. You are handling so much, and the stress of a husband who isn't holding up his end must make matters so much worse.

If I were you, the first thing I would do is run, not walk, to your doctor. It is not uncommon for post partum depression to kick in with force for women in your situation. Not saying that what you are dealing with isn't very real. It is. But talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks. There might be help there.

Then, talk to your husband. Find out what the heck is going on with him. When DS was born, it threw my DH into a huge freak out. So much responsibility, so much desperate love for someone totally dependent on him. So little sleep. He had no baby skills whatsoever. He was unemployed, and felt like he was not contributing. It was like a bomb went off for him and he could hardly function, let alone help. He was so unprepared emotionally. He came around, though, in time. I had wild fantasies of exchanging him for another, more helpful DH, and I am glad I didn't.

Then, think about counseling. IMO, better to try to salvage the marriage if you can. Someone told me that you shouldn't do anything major to change your life for at least a year after you give birth. Seems like a good rule of thumb to me. I am in a totally different space now, 14 months after DS was born, then I was when he was four months old. I can't imagine doing everything you are doing -- is there any way you can cut back?

And then, only when nothing else works, would I think about divorce. Speaking as a lawyer, divorce is such an awful, expensive experience. I would start by calling the bar association in my county, to see if they have referrals. Don't know your financial situation, but the bar association might be able to point you to some low cost/free consulting. My county bar, for example, hosts free sessions with attorneys every month where you can get advice on all kinds of problems. At the very least, there should be a section of the bar association just for divorce (also called "family") lawyers. You could get some names from the bar association for prominent members of the family law section. Another rule of thumb, it is always good to talk to three attorneys before you hire one. If the bar assoc. is no help, the best way to get a lawyer is to ask people who have gotten divorces in your area if they liked their lawyer. IMO, the worst way to hire a lawyer is to go to the yellow pages.

HTH

[kath68]

First off, hugs to you -- you are going throug a tough time and I am sure it looks bleak. You are handling so much, and the stress of a husband who isn't holding up his end must make matters so much worse.

If I were you, the first thing I would do is run, not walk, to your doctor. It is not uncommon for post partum depression to kick in with force for women in your situation. Not saying that what you are dealing with isn't very real. It is. But talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks. There might be help there.

Then, talk to your husband. Find out what the heck is going on with him. When DS was born, it threw my DH into a huge freak out. So much responsibility, so much desperate love for someone totally dependent on him. So little sleep. He had no baby skills whatsoever. He was unemployed, and felt like he was not contributing. It was like a bomb went off for him and he could hardly function, let alone help. He was so unprepared emotionally. He came around, though, in time. I had wild fantasies of exchanging him for another, more helpful DH, and I am glad I didn't.

Then, think about counseling. IMO, better to try to salvage the marriage if you can. Someone told me that you shouldn't do anything major to change your life for at least a year after you give birth. Seems like a good rule of thumb to me. I am in a totally different space now, 14 months after DS was born, then I was when he was four months old. I can't imagine doing everything you are doing -- is there any way you can cut back?

And then, only when nothing else works, would I think about divorce. Speaking as a lawyer, divorce is such an awful, expensive experience. I would start by calling the bar association in my county, to see if they have referrals. Don't know your financial situation, but the bar association might be able to point you to some low cost/free consulting. My county bar, for example, hosts free sessions with attorneys every month where you can get advice on all kinds of problems. At the very least, there should be a section of the bar association just for divorce (also called "family") lawyers. You could get some names from the bar association for prominent members of the family law section. Another rule of thumb, it is always good to talk to three attorneys before you hire one. If the bar assoc. is no help, the best way to get a lawyer is to ask people who have gotten divorces in your area if they liked their lawyer. IMO, the worst way to hire a lawyer is to go to the yellow pages.

HTH

[jadamom]

Sorry about your situation. I agree with trying to work things out c DH if at all possible. If not, here's the website for the Chicago Bar Association's Referral service: http://www.chicagobar.org/public/referral/referral.asp
Also, the Illinois State Bar Association's directory: http://www.illinoislawyerfinder.com/

[jadamom]

Sorry about your situation. I agree with trying to work things out c DH if at all possible. If not, here's the website for the Chicago Bar Association's Referral service: http://www.chicagobar.org/public/referral/referral.asp
Also, the Illinois State Bar Association's directory: http://www.illinoislawyerfinder.com/

[jadamom]

Sorry about your situation. I agree with trying to work things out c DH if at all possible. If not, here's the website for the Chicago Bar Association's Referral service: http://www.chicagobar.org/public/referral/referral.asp
Also, the Illinois State Bar Association's directory: http://www.illinoislawyerfinder.com/

[wendmatt]

I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time. I know nothing about attorneys but wanted to send you hugs. Hope things work out for the best either way. Good luck to you

[wendmatt]

I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time. I know nothing about attorneys but wanted to send you hugs. Hope things work out for the best either way. Good luck to you

[wendmatt]

I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time. I know nothing about attorneys but wanted to send you hugs. Hope things work out for the best either way. Good luck to you

[justlearning]

I'm sorry that you're going through this very difficult time right now, and I hope that your husband starts to treat you and your baby with more love.

If you do a search on this board, there have been many other threads in the past regarding divorce with lots of good advice in those threads from moms on here who have experienced divorce as well as advice from attorneys. (I would just search using the keyword "divorce" and selecting the Baby Bargains Lounge as the forum to search.) I hope that you find those threads helpful! Best wishes to you...

[justlearning]

I'm sorry that you're going through this very difficult time right now, and I hope that your husband starts to treat you and your baby with more love.

If you do a search on this board, there have been many other threads in the past regarding divorce with lots of good advice in those threads from moms on here who have experienced divorce as well as advice from attorneys. (I would just search using the keyword "divorce" and selecting the Baby Bargains Lounge as the forum to search.) I hope that you find those threads helpful! Best wishes to you...

[justlearning]

I'm sorry that you're going through this very difficult time right now, and I hope that your husband starts to treat you and your baby with more love.

If you do a search on this board, there have been many other threads in the past regarding divorce with lots of good advice in those threads from moms on here who have experienced divorce as well as advice from attorneys. (I would just search using the keyword "divorce" and selecting the Baby Bargains Lounge as the forum to search.) I hope that you find those threads helpful! Best wishes to you...

[lovemaggie]

Thanks for all your support and help. I've tried talking with him quite a few times but couldn't get through him. I"ll keep all your advice in mind and hopefully I will reach the end of dark tunnel soon.
-maggie

[bcky2]

first of all, hi neighbor! i am here in will county :) i just wanted to let you know that i felt the same way and tried to figure out ways to leave and be able to support my boys for the past year. nothing that dh did was enough for me, it always seemed to little. i am a sahm and had no idea how to leave. i went last week to see my doctor for other problems and told him about my mood swings and how i have been feeling and i hate to admit this as i feel a little embarassed but he put me on a really good antidepressent and in 4 days my whole world has seemed to change. i am a totally different person. he said it may take up to 14 days to fully kick in so i cant imagine how i will feel then :) maybe you are suffering from a little bit of ppd and you could get a little help in that direction and it will help you figure out exactly what you want to do. now that my vision isnt so clouded i see everything in a different light. it was just a thought and i dont want to assume that is what the problem is as it could very well be a pita husband but it is worth a try if it may save your marriage. other then that just sending big (((HUGS))) your way and hang in there.

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry for what you are gonig through. No real advice except maybe you can find a local yahoo group for moms in your area and join and ask around for word-of-mouth attorney recommendations, if you are comfortable with that.