My BROTHER wants a GIRLFRIEND!! Where should he look?

[Corie]

My brother is single, nice-looking, has a great job, funny,
caring, etc. He is 31 years old and he would like a woman
in his life. He is past the whole bar scene and
he is having trouble meeting nice girls to date.

I told him to check out Match.com and eHarmony.com. He
is a little hesitant about an online dating service. But
I told him to try it.
What do you think about Online Dating Services? Any
recommendations for a particular one?

Also, any other suggestions to meet the woman of his dreams? :)



Thanks for your help!

[Rachels]

I know a few people who've had good luck with eharmony. It seems a bit more serious than match.com. Whatever works, I say. Meeting people is hard once you get out of college, and there are tons of wonderful people out there who haven't met their soul mates yet. I met my DH at a family reunion (long story, no DNA involved), which pretty much threw into the toilet everything I ever thought about proper ways to meet people. It's a life, not a romance novel. If he's ready and sincere, he'll land in the right place no matter what steps he takes to get there.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[aliceinwonderland]

I have a sister that would kill me if she knew I was writing these words!! She's a very mature (too mature if you ask me!) 25 yr old :):)

e.

[sbjf]

Church is a really great place actually. Lots of big churches in metopolitan areas have young professionals as members and they have single groups that do a lot of civic minded activities as well as social gatherings regularly.

Also, many professional young women hang out at upscale restaurant and hotel bars now according to MY 31 year old single brother. :-)Sporting events, may work too.

As far as online dating, I know 2 women in real life who wound up marrying guys they met online. :-)

[caheinz]

My best friend just got married last fall, to a guy she met through Match.com! The system seemed to be interesting. (Note: my descriptions are distant second-hand -- we live in different parts of the country!) You do a personality test, and then Match.com gives you access to lists of people with how well they match. You can read more about each person, and if you're interested, you can send them a "wink". If they wink back, I think you can get more contact info (the "wink" is blinded, in terms of email addresses and other contact info, I think) and begin on- or offline discussions.

I suspect that with any online dating service, the limiting factor is the size of the are you live in. (More people -> more single people -> more to chose from!) But, there are certainly more online ads than print ads anymore! (My experience here is from teaching: I use an exercise using personal ads in my non-majors' biology course!)

[DebbieJ]

I know two people who have met and married through dating services/personals. One friend told me you just have to be prepared to do a lot of deleting (she got all sorts of emails, even though the guys didn't match her profile) and to be very upfront in the kind of mate you are looking for (i.e. church-goer, non-smoker, dog lover, etc..)

~ deb
DS 12/03
And a niece or nephew arriving in early August!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[C99]

One of my friends is dating someone she met through Friendster; they're actually living together now and I suspect she'll announce her engagement any day. I know sooo many people who met their mates online.

[kristine_elen]

Is he on the East Coast? I have a friend I'd love to set him up with!

[deenass]

I know of 6 couples who met through online service and are now all married. If he's up for it, it is a GREAT way to get into the dating scene.

Those I know all met through jdate or jewishmatchmaker.com (not sure if that would apply to your brother)!

[Marisa6826]

Match.com!!! It's where I met Jonathan! ;)

I've heard some not so good stuff about eHarmony - namely that the guy that started it is some sort of conservative Christian and won't list people that have been divorced or are gay.

If your DB really doesn't want to go the cyber-route, what about taking some sort of a nighttime class? Cooking, swing dancing, etc?

I used to troll for guys doing their laundry on the weekends. :P

-m

[elliput]

Are there some sorts of activities or hobbies that he enjoys? I met my husband through a hobby that we both enjoy, and my BF from high school met her husband while taking a martial arts class.

Volunteering is also a good way to meet people to at least network with socially. Even if all he meets are married or attached people, they will usually know at least one single person to introduce him to.

HTH!

[almostamom]

DH and I are another dateline success story. He was only the second person I dated from there. They did a pretty good job of matching profiles up. But......if he's in the SW I, too, have a friend :) Just mention that he wants a girlfriend to the BBB mamas, and we'll find him someone! :)


~Linda~
DS 11/04

[goodnightmoon]

What about an adventure group? There is one here in NC that you can join by yourself or with a friend. They go whitewater rafting, skydiving, kayaking, skiing, horseback riding, etc. From what I've heard, there are a lot of singles and people new to the area that join to meet others. It sounds like a lot of fun and an easy way to get to know people. Maybe he could look online or with his city's recreation department for a similar club...

Laura
mommy to Eva Marie 2/16/05

[chlobo]

I met my husband through a charity event. It was a 2 day biking event. At the end of the two days there is a party ferry that cruises around Boston Harbor. We met on the ferry. I think charity events are a great place to meet people & if he chooses a charity he likes or a type of event he finds interesting it will be a lot of fun.

[amp]

My DH and I met through online personals. It was called American Singles, and it was free at the time. They had a whole section for people to add to if they'd actually gotten married in the end. I thought I'd add us to it, but by then they'd become a pay site, and I'd already found my guy, so no way was I paying!

The way I figured, I could try the online dating thing, and if it didn't work, so what?! No biggie. And I met the man I married, so it was waaaay better than I ever planned! What's he got to lose?

If I were to do it again today, I'd try Match.com or eharmony.com I think.

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Dh husband and I met when I replied to his ad in the Columbus Dispatch. I also had a lot of luck with Great Expectations but it is very expensive. There were loads of pix of cute, accomplished women in those books, most with jobs that did not leave them much time to meet people.

Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04

[Corie]

My brother lives in Dallas. He is a graduate of the
University of Texas at Austin. (Big Longhorn fan!)
He has a History degree with a minor in Business.

He is a wonderful guy! Any girl would be so lucky
to have him. :)

[jbowman]

He should try to go to events for younger people (20s/30s) and lectures/movies at the Meadows Museum (SMU) or the Dallas Museum of Art. I would also suggest trips to the Kimbell, Modern Museum, and Amon Carter in Fort Worth. Women who like art are generally very good looking, brilliant, and funny ;).

[MelissaTC]

My 26 year old sister tried Match.com and met a nice guy on there. My friend's SIL used Match.com, dated and recently married the man she met.

[Wife_and_mommy]

LOL, Jill! :)

Those are great suggestions. Anywhere decent people hang out is tops in my book. I met my dh at work. I knows lots of people who met their spouses at work so he should take a look around the office. ;)

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[aguinn]

Well, DH and I met on matchmaker.com and we've been married for almost 4 years after an 18-month courtship! DS#2's godparents met the same way and were married two weeks after us! I've heard that eHarmony.com is a bit more on the religious side, but this may only be a rumor - I've never visited the site (no reason to now!).

I'd say his biggest plus will be the fact that (hopefully!) by now, since he's 31, he's had some life experiences and is looking to spend time with a woman who shares his interests. He should not be afraid to lay it all out there and say what he really wants out of a relationship. It's easier to do this on-line where you have nothing to lose than it is on a blind date where you don't know how you're coming across to the woman sitting on the other side of the table. DH had the courage to say exactly what he was looking for, as he had had several relationships that ended and he knew he didn't want any of that again.

I encourage your brother to try it - he might find it liberating, or he might hate it, but he won't know unless he tries! Good luck to him!

;)amy
proud momma to DS
and cutie #2 due 9/9/05 - it's a BOY! (Please come earlier! School starts on the 12th!)

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030729/1/5/1/-5/.png[/img][/url]

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ Neil Postman

[crayonblue]

If I was looking, I would try eharmony. I know a couple who met there and they are GREAT! They are both previously divorced so I am quite sure that is allowed (not that your brother is divorced, I am just responding to a previous post).

[alkagift]

What about It's Just Lunch? It's a dating service that sets business people up on lunch dates--no pressure, I would think. I saw it on Oprah and they have a branch in Dallas.

Honestly, though, I would tell him to let his friends know. Subtly of course, but he's got a much better chance finding someone for him from the people who know him best. I met my DH through mutual friends as did most of my friends who became married.



Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, who is TWO!

[mommy_someday]

DH and I met through Habitat for Humanity. We both went to the same university without knowing it and ended up on a week-long spring break trip in Pensacola where we helped build a house for a family in need. It was a great experience and taught both of us a lot about the other person (work ethic, does he/she have a sense of humor when their finger gets smashed with a hammer, is he/she comfortable getting dirty and breaking a sweat, etc.). I knew after the third day that the possibility for love was definitely there. I think volunteer projects are a great way to meet decent people - much more *my* speed than the bar/club scene!

FWIW, DH's sister met her husband through Great Expectations. Funny story, actually, DH's *other* sister worked there. Scotty called to sign up and the sister who worked there thought he sounded like a fantastic guy. So she said, "my sister is looking for someone and you'd be perfect together." She gave him her sister's phone number (much to the fright of the entire family), he called her that night, they went on a date the next day and it's been true love ever since. They just had their second baby two weeks ago, as a matter of fact. So it could definitely work.

Also, I've heard interesting things about It's Just Lunch. I don't know if it's in your brother's area, nor do I actually know anyone who did it, but I liked the concept of that particular dating service. Less pressure involved...

Good luck to your brother!

[Alys the Cat]

DH and I met on matchmaker.com, too. He was in Boston, I was in South Florida -- but somehow, things just worked out! We've been married 5+ years now. Actually, this weekend is the 7th anniversary of our first IRL meeting. Wow -- time flies! :)

Good luck to your brother! Even if he doesn't find the girl of his dreams online, he will have fun looking!

[Corie]

His last girlfriend worked with him and now that they are
no longer dating, she has turned into a total stalker.

I think he is done with dating girls at work!

[alleyoop]

I live in Austin, and I have heard of lots of people meeting through running clubs/training programs like RUNTEX(.com). There is some joke about women in their early 30s out there trolling for guys. Maybe he needs to train for a marathon or something?? Who doesn't like an athletic guy with long-term goals?

I met my DH at a professional association event. If he is in a career that has a professional association, it might be a good place to look. Like minded and career boosting at the same time!


HTH

[Corie]

Allison,

I just printed off the information for It's Just Lunch!
Looks like fun! When you mentioned that you saw this on
Oprah, it got me thinking. I remembered another dating
service on Oprah awhile back. So, I started searching
through Google and I found it.

It is called Dinner at Six. They have a location here
in Dallas too. This one sounds pretty fun too!

Thanks for the great idea!! :) I really appreciate
your help!