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buddyleebaby
06-20-2005, 09:58 PM
DD almost always has her little hands open. Even immediately following her birth she had her hands open and she was wiggling her fingers.
My MIL is freaking me out because she keeps going on about how strange it is and that newborns hands are usually clenched into little fists.
DD has the ability to make a fist. If you offer a finger, she'll grab it. She just seems to prefer having her hands open.
Should I be worried or am I letting my MIL get to me?

ETA: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU everybody. I feel sooooo much better. Once again, it is so nice to have these boards.

trumansmom
06-20-2005, 10:18 PM
Grrr.... MIL's have such a way of getting under our skin! I wouldn't worry about it. Every baby is different. Mention it to your ped for peace of mind next time you go in, but try, try ,try to tune out your MIL. Grrr.... (Mine was over for dinner the other night. I'm not over it yet. Grrr....)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

stella
06-20-2005, 10:25 PM
Blow her off! Why do people insist on worrying new moms? Or old moms for that matter? My children are just about (within couple of inches and pounds of each other)the same size. My little boy is 17 months older than his sister.

People tell me all the time "she is bigger than he is" or "She's really about to outgrow him!" and I am asked AT LEAST once every time we go out whether they're twins. It's bothering me because he is very deliberate about telling me that he's "bigger" than Anna. I expect that soon it will hurt his feelings that people don't realize he's bigger.

I am going to ask his doctor (a notorious un-alarmist) at the next appointment what he makes of Wade's failure to thrive (at 4 yoa!), but I wish people would just shut up about his size.

Sorry to hijack your post! Just wanted to let you know that I sympathize! I actually remember a lot more fluttering than clenching and I had babies more recently than your MIL!!

Ignore her!
Claire

mommy_someday
06-20-2005, 11:07 PM
FWIW, my SIL's 3.5 month old DD has had her hands open since birth and she's perfectly normal as far as we can tell. I say ignore your MIL. She's just sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Sorry she made you worry.

californiagirl
06-20-2005, 11:31 PM
Mine was just like that. I have photographic evidence. Several people remarked on it, but not in a bad way. At her 12 month check-up, the doctor said she had *excellent* fine motor control (umm, after she threw a peg at the doctor, but still...) I don't think it means anything, but you can tell your MIL it means she's advanced.

psophia17
06-21-2005, 12:00 AM
Fuzzy memories are wonderful things, and all MIL's have them in abundance :)

FWIW, DS slept like he was crucified from birth, with arms straight out to both sides, and his hands open. We called him Jesus-baby or Alleluia-Baby all the time. Any effort to get his arms back into swaddle was wasted - he'd wake up and howl until his arms were freed. And for all intensive purposes, he appears to be hitting developmental milestones early. I don't think you have any reason to worry.

Give it a couple of months, when your MIL pipes up with comments that don't jive, you'll be able to hear it as "bla bla bla bla bla" - I do ;)

ETC: typos

RwnMayfair
06-21-2005, 01:20 AM
I agree with everyone else - I wouldn't worry. Taran kept his in tight little fists so much that we'd actually have to pry them open and wipe them off occasionally because otherwise they'd start to smell rather sour. ;) So it's not necessarily a bad thing that you don't have your own grubby-fisted child! (For awhile, his nickname was "Mr. Grubby-fists".) I highly doubt her not keeping them in fists is anything to worry about.

-Melissa

Taran, November 20, 2003

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif - Eighteen months!
http://lilypie.com/baby2/031120/0/5/0/-5/.png
http://lilypie.com/days/050821/4/0/0/-5/.png

jk3
06-21-2005, 06:19 AM
You would think that ADULTS would realize that their comments might impact a child. Being big is so important to children (most of the time) and you would think people would be sensitive not to make comments like that.

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

jk3
06-21-2005, 06:22 AM
MIL's...Don't let her get to you but if you are concerned, ask your DD's pediatrician. My DS was a huge hand flapper when he was an infant. My MIL insisted he had all sorts of issues. Hand-flapping in children can be an indicator but it's not for infants. As a new parent, it's easy for someone to ruffle your feathers - especially a MIL!

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

elliput
06-21-2005, 07:41 AM
I recall my Ped mentioning that the ability to open hands at an early age showed advanced motor skills. I didn't think anything about DD hands being open or clenched until he mentioned it.

Mention it to your Ped next time you see him for reassurance, and don't let your MIL get to you.

Rachels
06-21-2005, 08:05 AM
Eyeroll at your MIL. Here's another Abigail for you, who is now a perfectly healthy, active three year old:

At 8 days old:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5da32b3127cce916287feb2d900000016109AYuHLVo1aO

At 3 weeks:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b2d702b3127cce9e444510561000000006109AYuHLVo1aO


-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

amp
06-21-2005, 08:56 AM
Actually, I think newborns move their hands in and out of fists and wiggle their fingers around a lot! I sure wish MIL's and other interested parties would keep their mouths shut sometimes! They say things that make new mommies worry unnecessarily.

SummerBaby
06-21-2005, 10:26 AM
Why oh why do people say these things to new mothers???? Looking back, my DD had her hands open most of the time. Her fine motor skills are excellent, and she is actually advanced for her age in that area. So I wouldn't worry at all, or better yet, ask your ped just to put your mind at ease.

Val
Mom to Madeline
7/28/04

mudder17
06-21-2005, 10:54 AM
LOL! After seeing those pictures, I decided to go and check what DD's looked like when she was younger, and funny thing is, just about every picture of her in the first four months had her hands covered in mittens, socks, or the sleeve! :D There are two pictures (1 at 2 weeks, 1 at 4 weeks) where here hands are shown and in each, one hand is open and one hand is closed (different on in each hand).

Yes, MIL sounds like she's just sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Your DD is probably perfectly fine! The fact that she can grab your finger means she doesn't have any problems with her motor control.


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 15 months & counting
Kaya's cousin, due October 9th!!!

tarahsolazy
06-21-2005, 11:12 AM
Its more worrisome if your baby can't OPEN his or her hands! Tightly clenched fists after age 2mo, especially if babe never opens the hands, can be a sign of abnormal motor development. I don't remember anything to worry about with always open hands in a newborn, and I'm a ped, BTW.