Do you think parents can tell if their own babies aren't as cute as most?

[Judegirl]

I'm talking newborn to about 4 or 5. If our babies were... umm, homely... would we even know it???

:)
Jude

[aliceinwonderland]

You know, I thought Erik was more beautiful than your average distressed-meatball-looking newborn (I truly thought so, despite knowing while pregnant and expecting him to be ugly for a few months)and i was amazed at myself for having such a beautiful child (DH and I being average-looking), but now that I go back and look at his newborn pictures (that I proudly shared with aproximately 1/2 the world) I see he was actually not that great looking those first few days...

He IS beautiful now, but I am fully aware of my subjectivity :):)

e.

[Mommy_Again]

I was wondering the same thing and almost posted on it a few months back, but I didn't know if it would be in poor taste or not. But I am quite curious- b/c DH and I always say how we REALLY DO think DS is gorgeous, but is that just because we are his parents? Looking back at pictures from his first months of life, we recently said "wow. I guess he wasn't as cute back then as we thought at the time." But still, comparing him to other kids that age, I think he is cuter.

[Mommy_Again]

ok, we just posted pretty much the same thing, at the same time.

[saschalicks]

I want to say that I totally agree. I fully expeced a shrivelled ugly being. My mom even told me befor ever getting pregnant how disappointed she was when my older brother came and he "looked like a rat". She said he got cute at 1 month old, but she was so distraught until then at her ugly baby.

When Jonah was born everyone (strangers even) kept telling us that he was just beautiful so I get I'm subjective too!

[jbowman]

I've always thought that Ellie was cuter than any Raphael cherub...not that I'm biased or anything ;)!

[anamika]

Hmmmm....I said all babies are adorable. Of course, mine just happens to be way ahead in the cuteness factor!!
I really do believe all babies are cute though - those dimples everywhere and those big eyes and just everything!
I have yet to see an ugly baby or ugly flower!!

[redhookmom]

That's a hard question because I actually do have the cutest kids in the world. I tell my ds all the time that he is the smartest, cutest, funniest... He rolls his eyes and tells me that all Moms say that to their kids.
That said, I know where my kids fall in the range. But babies --- they are all gorgeous.

[muskiesusan]

um, what are you talking about? My kids should obviously be in showbiz.

Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[jesseandgrace]

I think we always think our own are gorgeous, mine is compounded by the fact that people are always stopping me to talk about how good lookig they are :).

[marinkitty]

Okay, I will risk sounding like a total heel and admit that in the first moments after Jack's birth, I thought he was funny looking. I mean, I thought Mia was just THE most gorgeous baby ever (and I do agree that looking back at photos she is cute, but not as stunning as I remember) and in comparison, Jack, who came out looking a bit bruised and beat up (probably from being squished in there and coming out like a cannonball) seemed not as cute and I thought "oh no, I really hope Mia isn't always the beautiful child." But now I think he is absolutely a doll.

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03) and baby brother Jack (3.23.05)

[kijip]

After I had Toby I became one of the all babies are way too cute camp....seriously, all babies are so adorable!!!!

We are routinely stopped and oggled at because of Toby. It kinda bothers me since I think that bias is going into people's opinions. Yeah, he is really cute but he is a stereotypical Gerber ad kid- big blue eyes and light brown/blondish hair and a big kid with round pink cheeks and a dimple. So I think people see this false racist "ideal baby" when they see him. Less and less as he becomes a toddler....

[mudder17]

Hee, hee, good question. I thought mine was the most beautiful baby ever, but she really did come out without being squished or all that and it didn't hurt that my OB went around the hospital bragging about the beautiful girl he had delivered. :) So I did think she was as cute as any baby, but I've also had tons of people, friends and strangers alike, comment on how beautiful she is--maybe they just don't want to offend the mother! :P

And FWIW, Jude, Rory was always a gorgeous baby! :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 15 months & counting
Kaya's cousin, due October 9th!!!

[bluej]

Okay, I'll fess up....I was less than thrilled when I looked at Alex for the first time and didn't see any resemblence to me or to DH, but instead was looking at a replica of one of DH's uncles. Everyone else kept saying how beautiful she was, but all I could see was DH's uncle. Looking back at pictures I think she is darling, but at the time (for the first few weeks), I didn't think she was all that cute.

Caden was a beautiful baby and Ryden was a funny looking bird until he plumped up some.

[elliput]

Don't all babies look like Winston Churchill?

Yeah, genetics play a lot in to how pretty a baby is, but all babies have something that makes them cute. Personally, I love baby smiles! In my eyes, all babies are cute when they smile.

[jbowman]

LOL, Jen! DH and I hoped (against hope) that Ellie wouldn't look anything like his dad (FIL). Not that his dad is bad looking, but we didn't think it would work on a girl. Guess who Ellie looks the most like, LOL!? Turns out, FIL's features work really well on a girl ;)!!!

[Wife_and_mommy]

Here are my thoughts on this....

I've never been surprised that *everyone* says how beautiful dd is--even as an hour-old newborn. I mean, who's going to say "Man, I'm sorry your kid is ugly"? So I always said thank you and moved on. Then over the months as we've gotten the "She is SO beautiful!" comments, DH and I started to get big-headed about it and forgot what we thought in the beginning. DH and I comment how she just gets cuter and cuter. I've regained some sense now and am back to the original feeling. DH is not.

No one will tell me that my baby isn't the MOST beautiful one in the world but the way I see it's my job to believe that and I do. I do think there is such a thing as an ugly baby, I just didn't happen to have one. :P

I know a few babies who've gotten comments about their non-cuteness but for the most part, I think most are.

Elizabeth

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

Our second morsel due early February 2006!

[wagner36]

Well, I must say that I think Mia and Jack are both exceptionally cute children. Mia is truly gorgeous.

But, to answer the original question, I'll also fess up - when Charlie was born - I definitely think he fell into the not-so-cute category. It took a while. Now's he's the cutest boy in the world, though - and I am completely unbiased on this subject.

[smilequeen]

I think all babies are adorable. Some are definitely more beautiful than others though. My friend has one that makes me think of that Sienfeld episode...but he may just not be photogenic...I still think he's cute, just not *beautiful*.

I always thought Simon was gorgeous, but I'm biased. He really never looked like a newborn though...chalk it up to the c/s and big baby thing :)

[alkagift]

Actually when mine was born I wasn't convinced. I had actually seen his face in a late ultrasound and said, "he's so cute!" because, in utero, he had the cutest cheeks. Afer he was born the nurses told me he was beautiful and I told them that they must say that to all the moms, The two nurses looked at each other and simultaneously said, "No, we don't, we've seen some homely babies."

Two weeks later I thought Matt was the cutest thing. I still do--the half lopsided dimple, the eyelashes longer than mine, etc. Actually my new nephew who was born early on Monday IS the most beautiful newborn baby I have ever seen in person. Part of that is the c-section factor--no sloping head or puffy eyes...

I have to tell you a story about a friend of mine, who when pregant with her first son, was told by her MIL about her reaction when my friend's husband was born. Evidently the MIL cried her eyes out upon seeing him. He was born with hair almost down to his eyebrows. He still has more hair on his head than most men I know, plus dark bushy greek eyebrows to match and he's really pretty cute, but it goes to show you some women KNOW theirs aren't beautiful.

Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, who is TWO!

[amp]

We have this same conversation, although I still think he was pretty handsome all along. But I just told DH last night that I think everyone thinks that same exact thing, and we don't all think those same babies are that gorgeous! Some are, some aren't, but it must be in the genes for you to think yours is!

[TraciG]

I thought Sydney was very cute as an infant but now I see in some of her pictures how little she was & I think she's much cuter now ( she was 5 lbs 10 oz ) My husbands uncle told me now Sydney is beautiful now but when she was little that she was ugly ( I thought that was so rude to say to me !!!!!! ) Now I think she's the STAR !!!!!!!!

[marinkitty]

Thanks, Tara! That is so nice of you to say! And I agree Charlie is totally a doll!!! I can still remember the first time I met you guys at Gymboree and he was wearing this adorable Babystyle outfit and I remember telling Bryan I'd met my first BBB mom and baby in real life and how cute he was!!!

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03) and baby brother Jack (3.23.05)

[lisaE]

All parents think their own babies are cute, that's nature's way of making sure that we love and take care of them.

My baby really IS cute, though. ;)

[C99]

I always wonder about the "s/he's beautiful!" comments that people have made about both of my kids when they were newborns. I thought they both looked squished and a little funny looking. Actually, I think that about all newly born newborns.

I go through periods when I think both kids are kind of funny looking, but 95% of the time, I think they're cute.

So I am obviously not of the mind that all little kids/babies are cute. I think the vast majority of kids are cute, but I've seen a couple of ugly toddlers in my travels (and I know that someone could very well be saying that about my kid!).

ETA: I brought Rose to my 6-week post-partum visit and my OB (who did not deliver her) commented that she was cute. I told him that it was his job to say that as an OB and he replied that she really IS cute.

[alkagift]

Yes he is!

Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, who is TWO!

[aliceinwonderland]

And survival of the fittest(cutest)...If we did not think our own babies were just the most adorable thing, would they really survive the waking-up-every-two hours-and wanting to play at 4 am thing??

Having said that,we consistently get stopped and told how cute SHE is. And when told he's a boy, people say he's too cute to be a boy. I bite my tonge not to call them sexist :):)

e.

[June Mommy]

DH and I have discussed this very question. I was SO worried before DS was born that he would not be cute. I remember seeing his profile in some of his later ultrasound pictures and getting really worried. I could tell he looked a lot like DH. Now my DH is very handsome, but I've seen his newborn picture, and he was not a cute baby! Anyway, I had LOTS of drugs with my complicated c-section and ended up being put completely under. I remember coming to, and in my fog, asking the nurses if DS was cute because I was afraid he wouldn't be! They assured me that he was beautiful, and of course, he is! The most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Everywhere I go, he gets compliments. He should be a model. Not that I'm biased, or anything ;) I remember seeing a quote somewhere that went something like "there is only one beautiful baby in the world, and every mother has it." I think that some babies are cuter than others, but all babies are cute in some way!

[hobey]

>Having said that,we consistently get stopped and told how cute
>SHE is. And when told he's a boy, people say he's too cute to
>be a boy. I bite my tonge not to call them sexist :):)
>
LOL Eri. We get the same thing with DS. Something about his naturally wavy hair and dimples plus mom's insistence in dressing him in red & orange I guess.

Raquel
Nathan's Mom 12/19/03

[almostamom]

I was once friends with someone once who had this theory: She used to say that if the parents weren't very good looking they would have a really cute baby and the not so cute babies had the most good looking parents. Then she would complain that she knew she and her husband wouldn't have a cute baby -- Want to guess why we aren't friends anymore?!?!

When my best friend came to see DS in the hospital she said how cute he was. I kept asking her "Are you sure?" I didn't trust myself to know if he was going to be cute or not KWIM.

~Linda~
DS 11/04

[psophia17]

I have seen an ugly baby - there was no mistaking it, the combination of features on this child were unfortunate at best, and his older sisters also got hit with an ugly stick...but their parents thought all three of them were gorgeous, gorgeous enough to enter the girls in pageants and take the boy to auditions...

So while homely babies and children exist, if the homely baby is yours, you won't notice :)

(luckily, I am very objective and know for a fact that DS is almost definitely the cutest, sweetest, and most adorable baby ever - he should be in show business!)

[kaylinsmommy2]

I'll fess up: I didn't think DD was *the* cutest baby in the world. DH and I laughed about her peely skin and cone shaped head and how skinny she was. And, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't love at first sight for me and DD either... it definitely took a couple of days. I am easily overcome by this feeling of how gorgeous she is, but I *think* I am still level headed enough to know what I believe to be the *truth* of how she looks. No flames, please! :) Looking back at those pictures of her at 2 weeks? Ewww! She really was peel-y. Yuck! Hee hee.
Caroline
Kaylin 6/5/04

[lukkykatt]

When DS1 was born, I was rather underwhelmed with his appearance immediately after birth. But he cutened up within a few hours as his features popped out.

DS2 looked better immediately after birth (not as smooshed), but in the first few months, I definitely thought that he would not be as cute as my older son (and others have since confessed the same thing to me). He has grown into his features now, and I think they are both adorable.

So, am I objective, or have I ended up deluding myself? It is hard to say...

[pixelprincess]

Our baby was a true miracle...he was so teeny tiny, serene and truly beautiful. In all honesty, new borns look somewhat alien to me so I wouldn't have called him cute. Ask me now and I'd say he is the cutest baby ever.

[ellies mom]

My Ellie is very beautiful and since she was a c-section baby she had a leg up in the beautiful from the start camp. People are always stopping to say how beautiful she is. Of course I am biased.

The reason I'm actually posting is to say that I have seen a few (very few mind you) ugly babies. What saved me though when one of the mothers commented on DD was the fact that this baby did have very pretty eyes.

The other thing I wanted to say was that after DD was born and all the nurses were gushing over her, I told my Mom that they probably say that about every baby. She told me "No, none of the nurses said your brother was cute" He is handsome now, but I guess he was a red squalling, linebacker (with pads) of baby then.

[kijip]

"Having said that,we consistently get stopped and told how cute SHE is. And when told he's a boy, people say he's too cute to be a boy. I bite my tonge not to call them sexist"

EXACTLY! We get that all the time except for right after a short haircut....several times I have had people actully dispute me beyond the initial "He's too pretty to be a boy" like a no, yes, no yes back and forth....I just tell them that I change his diapers so I am qualified to determine if he is a boy!

[kijip]

For sure if kids weren't all adorable to their parents they would be tossed off mountains....no one loves loss of sleep, less food, limited free time etc....

[entttc]

In med school we did indeed learn about FLKs - funny looking kids. Younger FLKs should be evaluated for chromosomal problems. When an older baby or toddler looks funny, he or she might have gargoylism, the result of a metabolic disorder.

So. . . while it's hard for a parent to see that their kid isn't the most beautiful in the world, a TRULY ugly healthy kid should be pretty rare.

[Vajrastorm]

I never thought dd was the cutest baby ever. I mean, she was really cute, but I'm a realist. :D And at 3 weeks old she went through an ugly phase. I have the pictures to prove it.

I know I'm committing parenting heresy, and I DO believe she is great looking kid, but I won't pretend I've never see a prettier baby, or that dd didn't have the short lived "Old Armenian Man" thing going.