Do you open presents at the 1st b-day party?

[saschalicks]

I know I'm asking a lot of questions today, but so much has come up lately.

Saturday was Jonah's 1st b-day and his party. I called for an 11 AM party and specifically said on the invite 11 AM to 1 PM. I knew that Jonah would need to have a nap. We ended things at the park and started to clean up around 1 PM. Jonah fell asleep on DH's shoulders while we were cleaning up, that's how pooped he was.

Anyway, MIL (whom I have many an issue with) was apalled that we didn't open the gifts at the party. We just put them in the car to open them at home. Of course she said it to DH not me b/c, well she knows better. Anyway, he said to her that it was obvious we were going to have to get Jonah home ASAP.

As a matter of fact, we opened the presents while he was napping and put all of the toys together so when he woke up he could play with all of his new stuff. It was very cute to see him so wide eyed about it all.

I've been to A LOT of parties in the last few years for children 6 and under where the gifts were not opened at the party. I would get a thank you card soon after, but never thought anything of the fact that they didn't open the presents.

After this long post: what do you expect? At a two hour party should the presents be opened? Does it depend on age? Thanks.

[kensjen]

I have never been to a party for a toddler where presents were opened. Only if it is a small gathering with grandparents or whatever. It just takes too long, and a one year old doesn't even know what is going on. It is quite overwhelming for them, actually. I know my DS received so many toys for his 1st birthday that I had to return some and put some away for later. That reminds me, some of them are still in the closet! ;)

When kids get a bit older they get into the gift receiving and unwrapping thing, and it is more common to do this at the party. They will rip them open in record time, so it wouldn't be an issue.

I know that sometimes the grandparents want some kind of reaction when the child opens the gift and we will usually let him open theirs while they are around.

HTH!

[jbowman]

I think it depends on the age of the child and the wishes of the parents--IMHO it would be too chaotic to open gifts at a party for a one-year-old child (ok, my one-year-old child, LOL!).

We specifically requested no gifts on the invitations for Ellie's 1st birthday party. We still received quite a few gifts, but opened them later.

[lilycat88]

We just had Susanna's 1st birthday party this past Saturday and we did open gifts. But, I wasn't determined that it had to happen. I was just going to play it by ear and see how it went.

The party started at 12:00 and we didn't put an ending time on the invite because we knew that everyone there would leave at a reasonable time without being told. I think everyone but family was gone by 2:15-2:30. We did the party at our house and there were a total of 18 people there of which 9 were family. There were only 9 actual "gifts" to open and only 2 of those were wrapped. Everything else was in a gift bag or an envelope. So, in out case, it worked. Susanna didn't have a clue about what was happening but sort of milled about in the clutter.

I guess it depends on the situation but for this party, opening gifts worked and I'm glad it did. That was my preference but I wasn't going to make everyone miserable or spend hours doing it.

Jamelin

DD Susanna 6/29/04

[laretce6]

What she said :-) I posted a reply earlier, but for some reason it didn't show up. My plan for Ellie's party is to play it by ear but at least make an attempt at gift opening. My biggest concern is the fussy older folks (great grandparents, my great aunt) who would very much want to see DD open her gifts from them, so I'll probably arrange it so that those get opened first.

Caroline
Mama to Eleanor Katherine 8.2.04

[DebbieJ]

We did the same thing for our ds's first b-day. A two hour party with lunch and cake at our house. Then ds started to get crabby, so people got a clue and left. He slept, then we opened presents later. No one seemed to care.

The other two 1st bday parties we attended did not include present opening either.

~ deb
DS 12/03
And a niece or nephew arriving in early August!

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[jamsmu]

We don't, but I have been to parties where they do. Its just too hard on the other kids because they all want to play and open, too. And that just leads to total chaos. Plus, you never make your list of who gave what for Thank Yous. Add to that that the 1 year old doesn't have the patience or interest beyond one or two toys... just a total disaster, IMO.

Also, if you open infront of the kids, then you have to deal with the honesty of some kids, that you don't always want, and the awkward double gifts, etc.

I'm sure Ms. Manners would say you're correct, anyway. :)

We opened with grandparents only and it was much more calm.

[Wife_and_mommy]

We asked for no gifts. Got gifts which we were grateful for. Some surrogate grandparents wanted gifts opened. I didn't want to be rude so we ended up opening gifts. I'm still ticked about this. I understand they wanted to see dd open her gifts but what the heck is up with dictating to a hostess what should happen at her home?

I'm not bitter, really. ;) After my experience, I'd let dd open the gifts of the ones who want to see and leave the others for later. It really is too much and a one-year-old is clueless about it.

Elizabeth

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Our second morsel due early February 2006!

[mama2galpals]

we don't open gifts at the party UNLESS it's a longer party at home. otherwise, we usually have closer family back to the house and later on we will open the gifts if they want.


rita
mommy to
olivia '97
stella '00
emma '03

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
--Henry David Thoreau

http://lilypie.com/baby3/030123/3/4/1/+10/.png

[mama2galpals]

i just want to add that sometimes i find it SO annoying that relatives will start clamoring to open the gifts when i'd rather do it later.

rita
mommy to
olivia '97
stella '00
emma '03

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
--Henry David Thoreau

http://lilypie.com/baby3/030123/3/4/1/+10/.png

[cleo27]

That is exactly what happened at DD's birthday party. My grandmother asked about four different times "don't you want to open the gifts now", which in turn got my mother started. I tried to change the subject a few times, but they were just determined. We had about 30 people there so everyone crowded around and watched. DD didn't really understand and I found it awkward trying to find a balance between hurrying things along and being rude by tearing through things too fast that someone might be insulted and feel their gift wasn't appreciated enough. After we finished, the place really cleared out though.

[kristine_elen]

I can only think of one toddler party we've been to where they opened gifts at the party. Well, two, but the second one we had to leave before they got to the gifts. I think either way is fine; I wouldn't think twice about it one way or the other. Your MIL is crazy. (Are they ALL crazy? My MIL made a point of telling my husband, when I wasn't around, that Jack should be pouring his own cereal at age 2 -- barely age 2. WTF?)

[kristine_elen]

I can only think of one toddler party we've been to where they opened gifts at the party. Well, two, but the second one we had to leave before they got to the gifts. I think either way is fine; I wouldn't think twice about it one way or the other. Your MIL is crazy. (Are they ALL crazy? My MIL made a point of telling my husband, when I wasn't around, that Jack should be pouring his own cereal at age 2 -- barely age 2. WTF?)

[kristine_elen]

I can only think of one toddler party we've been to where they opened gifts at the party. Well, two, but the second one we had to leave before they got to the gifts. I think either way is fine; I wouldn't think twice about it one way or the other. Your MIL is crazy. (Are they ALL crazy? My MIL made a point of telling my husband, when I wasn't around, that Jack should be pouring his own cereal at age 2 -- barely age 2. WTF?)

[Melanie]

We did and it wasn't great. Ds just wanted to play with what he opened and meanwhile people are chomping at the bit for him to keep going. We skipped a 2nd birthday (still mentally recovering from the first) and just had family come over individually, so he opened their gifts and enjoyed them. His third birthday we didn't open any gifts. I think it was the best ever. The children just had fun playing or do a craft, no present stress. A few months later we went to another 3 where gifts were open. It was awful. All the children wanted to open the gifts except the birthday child and the mom looked like she was surrounded in a den of lions. I also saw a #2 go that way recently.

I'm not opposed to it across the board for all ages, but I definitely think toddler birthdays are better sans gift opening.

Oh, and for #3, since we had it at our home. After the party guests left most of the grandparents were still there so he opened their gifts. We just wanted to make sure that he was not rushed through it and if he wanted to stop and play, that was fine. I think in all, it took 3 days to open them.

[essnce629]

Maybe I'm the oddball of the group, but I've actually NEVER been to a 1st birthday party were they didn't open gifts (actually wait, I've been to one where gifts weren't opened, and I actually remember being upset since that's my favorite part of a party). At Conner's 1st birthday we opened all the gifts (and there were a lot) and we plan to do the same at his 2nd birthday party in August.

***Latia
Conner 8/19/03
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[amp]

We always (well, 2 yrs) have opened the gifts at the party and it's gone ok. I assume people want to see the child open their gift, but maybe they don't. I would feel weird about taking their gifts w/o opening them then, but it sure would be easier. Anyway, we just try to keep the party moving along to get through eating, cake, gifts and then let people relax. And we keep the gift opening moving so people don't get too bored too.

[HannaAddict]

We asked for no gifts but did receive quite a few and did not open them at the party. This was based on advice I read about on this board, since we hadn't been to many baby birthdays before. I am sooo glad we didn't open the gifts and my in-laws (MIL) were the only ones who kept bugging us to open them. My dad asked once or twice but when we said we weren't opening them, he backed off. Not MIL, she pouted and acted like, well, her normal narcissistic self. It would have been a disaster to open gifts since it was a large party in a not so large house. People wouldn't have been able to see, Owen would not have liked the added stress and I'm sure there would have been a melt down. We promptly sent thank you notes after the party. He was really too little to "get" the gift deal anyway.

If I had a small party, immediate family only (less than 10 people) then I might open gifts. But for a larger party, I don't think it works.

Kimberly
DS 3/18/04

[saschalicks]

I agree all MIL are crazy. Mine is no exception.