Do you cook something different at meal time for your picky eater?

[daisymommy]

How many of you moms with picky eaters cook some different for your toddler to eat at mealtime? I have been doing this for awhile, because Joshua refuses to eat any type of meat other than chicken nuggets, will not eat any kind of veggie at all, will only eat fruit pureed...it would probably be easier to just tell you the 5 basic foods he does eat rather than what he won't eat ;)

Everyone told me not to cook something separate for him at meal times, just to give him what we eat, and that if he was hungry, he would eat it. Ummm, not so much :) The chid went for 3-4 days of only eating breakfast. He was cranky and lethargic as ever, and I just refused to let it go on any longer after that.

So, I usually make him chicken nuggets, mac n'cheese, pasta, etc. something quick and easy for me to give him, along with a small portion of our meal--which he never eats.

I was at a playdate the other day, and everyone really gave me a lecture about doing this. I think I've been doing it for so long I hadn't really thought about it. But now I wonder--am I alone in this? Does anyone else fix a few extra foods for their picky eaters as well? I always try to include one thing in my menu that he will eat, but alas, since he only like a few foods, that's pretty difficult to do now days.

Do I just stop making a separate food for him, and let him starve for a week until he finally gives in? But what if he won't? (the child is as stubborn as his mother! ;)). I'm just afraid that I'm starting to hinder his development, rather than helping him by cooking something I know he will eat each lunch/dinner. What do you all think?

[lcl]

i'm also interested in the answers to this as well. my ds was born in 8/02 as well and you describe him to a tee. we do cook separately for him as well . he also becomes cranky and lethargic as well if we withold the "5 basic foods" from him.he eats fruits but not all, stopped eating veggies, only meat is chicken nuggets (but only eats bites around the peripery and leaves the centers), eats pasta, bread, cereal , oatmeal, pancakes and yogurt.

[ellies mom]

Breakfast and lunch are all about DD. If we are eating dinner on the go I make her stuff I know she likes but usually dinner is about us and she "eats" what we eat. I do try to have something she will eat(broccoli, rice etc). If she is having a bad eating day I will make something extra just for her.

[himom]

I found out that DS will usually eat what we give him if he knows that's all we're having. I will usually include something he likes too, but I'll serve a veggie or the main thing I want him to eat first, then follow it up with something yummy and relatively healthy afterward.

Our ped said don't make an issue out of it, and we've found that to be excellent advice. I make him a plate, and he eats or doesn't eat what's on it. She promised me he wouldn't starve and he's actually done great, so Yay!

I hope you're able to figure out a good balance that works for you and your DS.

[ktdid74]

Well, I'm embarassed to admit how I feed my kids. They always eat something different that I'm eating, and usually they eat different meals from each other. I feel like a short order cook but Mackenzie will only eat about 4 different things. Brendan is now 5 and will eat a bunch of things so it's getting to be less of a problem.
Honestly, in the scheme of things, making something he likes 3 times a day isn't really a big deal in my eyes :) I figure I would be upset if I was only given things I don't like for every meal.

[mamaharsh]

Nate usually has some things the same and some different. It started because of his food allergies and now I can't get him to eat anything that "mixes" food (casseroles, soup, etc). Usually if we are having a plain meal (meat, veggie, rice/pasta/potato), his meat and veggie are the same as ours. His starch will either be plain pasta or plain rice as he won't eat potatoes and isn't fond of too much spice (and DH is).

Some days he eats everything, some days nothing, most days he'll eat some of it. Some days he won't even eat things he normally loves. He always has a snack before bed and I try to make that heavier/more nutritional if he hasn't eaten much dinner.

[AngelaS]

I don't. The girls choose their own breakfasts and lunch we usually all agree on but I make one supper and they can eat it or not. I also don't serve snacks between lunch and supper. It makes supper look that much better. :D

[Jen841]

Meals are a PR stunt for us lately. I 'talk up' what we are having to get Jude excited. My child won't even eat nuggies, but he LOVES green beans. Fruits he won't touch right now other than applesauce. Yesterday the whole way home from the store we cheered for raviolli's (mushroom) and Green Beans.

I refuse to cook him a separate meal, unless we are not all eatting at the same time. We get excited about foods, and attempt to eat them as happily as the Wiggles eat Fruit Salad ("Yummy Yummy" rub tummy.)

I do try to have 1 sure thing for him per meal, and yes ketchup is a sure thing. It is tomatoe right? I eventually will give in and give a slice of cheese with is meal, another sure thing.

I do cave in sometimes, but I have really tried not to. I only have 2 meals to worry about per day due to daycare, and they don't cater to him (I always get notes, Jude did not eat his fruit today at lunch, but he had seconds of ....)

Good luck! It is a fine line. I have watched my Mother-in-law and Sister-in-laws cook multiple meals and have picky eatters, and I am really trying not to follow the family tree here.

[steph2003]

Usually for lunch & breakfast I'll make him something I know he'll eat but for dinner I try to serve him whatever we are eating & most times he wants no part of it (like your DS my DS eats no meat not even nuggets, no veggies & few fruit!) so for dinner a lot of times he doesn't eat anything. I've been tempted to give him something else but I figure he has eaten something for breakfast & most times lunch. I do worry about it though!

I have cut way back on snacks like PP cause I find he would eat crackers all day long during meals & not eat meals. I also offer him milk at other times then meal times as he loves milk & would fill up on that.

[muskiesusan]

Nick usually gets to pick his breakfast and dinner, as well as snacks. Dinner is my choice, but I usually serve at least one item I know he will eat, even if it's just bread and butter.

Snacks have become a huge problem for us as Alex is on a different eating/sleeping schedule, so Nick wants to snack while Alex is eating. Some days I feel like I am prepping food all day!


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[daisymommy]

This has been great advice Mamas. Please keep it up! One trend I noticed here that I hadn't thought about--getting your DC to eat a good breakfast and lunch that they like, and then not worrying if they don't eat alot at dinner.
Josh will eat well at breakfast (because it's always something carb, like muffins, biscuits, waffles or pancakes, etc.)--plus fruit and a yo-Baby yogurt which he loves. Lunch I am still making something "different" for him because he won't eat a sandwhich at all unless it's grilled cheese (because of course he won't eat meat! LOL). So, maybe I can comprimise and do a breakfast and lunch he'll eat, but stop cooking something separate for dinner.
Hmm, that's food for thought! :)

[macassi]

My kids get a breakfast and lunch that they like, and they eat the family dinner. I usually try to have one "ingredient" that they like and they can choose to just have samples of the rest. As they get older, we enforce the rule that they must eat a little of everything. So, Abbie at 2 doesn't get forced to eat something, but Brendan at 4 is required to eat 5 bites of a vegetable, for example. As each of the kids have gotten older, they have started eating more and more.

If they choose not to eat dinner, there is no food served again until breakfast. If they eat a good dinner, I'm happy to provide a before bed snack.

[Momof3Labs]

This is a tough one because kids are picky in different ways, and what works for one person may not work for another.

We have a picky eater, too, at least at dinner time. He eats breakfast, a morning snack, and lunch, and doesn't usually get an afternoon snack. He still tends not to be hungry at dinner. If we are eating something that I would expect him to eat, then we serve it to him but make sure that there is something on the table that is reasonable to expect him to eat (baby carrots, canned peaches, grapes, etc.). Sometimes we eat spicy food or something like pizza loaded with ingredients, and I just don't feel that it is reasonable to expect him to make the leap to those foods from where he is at, so we don't push the issue and offer something that he does like (nuggets, mac & cheese, PB&J, etc.).

I will add that Colin has been trying some new foods lately, and liking them, so I am seeing some progress (though definitely baby steps)!

[khakismom]

>I don't. The girls choose their own breakfasts and lunch we
>usually all agree on but I make one supper and they can eat it
>or not. I also don't serve snacks between lunch and supper.
>It makes supper look that much better. :D

This is us exactly (I do not have the time to be a short-order cook), with the exception that I sometimes have snacks for them. But I really limit them. In order to do this however, I have to put a lock on the pantry, which Ellen has already broken twice! ;)

[cchavez]

Diego actually has some feeding (texture) issues plus he is a picky eater. He usually eats what we are eating for bfast but eats mostly a separate meal at lunch and dinner. We just started therapy for our issues and I asked the therapists if we should withhold food if he refuses to eat something......I already felt I knew the answer to this but had to ask it in front of my DH.:) They said if he refuses a food he normally eats to withhodl the food but not if it is a new food. hth

[kijip]

We don't do special meals, but I am not qualified to advise you since Toby is not a very picky eater. I do make a point to put a little food of every kind on his plate even if he does not eat it, just to normalize the food for him. My job is to give him food, his job is to eat it...so if he does not eat it, I don't push the issue. I will say that Toby has some choices at breakfast and lunch that he does not get at dinner, so maybe I am unwittingly doing the fill him up at lunch/breakfast thing that the pp suggested!

One issue I have for me with the seperate meal thing is that the foods that kids come to like are not always especially healthy...I can't give him pepperoni pizza everyday and I certainly can't eat it everyday! So he gets what we get...

[alkagift]

Amy,
I responded to you in the Toddler board but it's similar to the above and I mentioned Christine's issue too...


Allison
Mommy to Matthew, who is TWO!

[daisymommy]

Allison,
I just emailed you. Hopefully you'll get it :)

[Laurelsmom2002]

Yep I do- but she's really only picky about meats and potatoes, so she gets ham or chicken fingers- the tyson- no transfat dinosaur ones (as i justify them :)) pasta and whatever veggie we're getting. She is very good w/ fruits and veggies.
I will say she has tried regular chicken but only as a sample at the grocery- so I guess if ya stick it on a toothpick they may try other things.

[MelissaTC]

Matthew is a picky eater. This is my take on it- I cook what I cook. I am not a short order cook nor am I going to cook what he wants just because he wants it. Dinner is dinner and he either eats it or doesn't. If he is hungry, he will eat. Sometimes he doesn't and that is his choice. I don't make anything out of the ordinary. Some days he won't eat what I have cooked but will eat it next week. So I let him go hungry. He makes up for it at breakfast. I just refuse to cook him something separately. I have seen this backfire on too many friends and acquitances. I know a woman that cooks 4 different meals at dinner time and never gets to sit down and eat herself...and this is for grown children.

My friend's SIL used to do this for her kiddo. He would only eat pizza. So she fed him pizza. Well he is in hs now and will only eat pizza and pasta. He is as skinny as a rail, always tired and is constantly sick. No way Jose!