DS is hitting me!

[Mamma2004]

I know it is normal for babies and toddlers to explore their new abilities but I am getting impatient with the hitting! I know that DS is not being mean because he loves to drum and bang objects together, too. However, the past few days he has been giving me very strong love pats :-) I don't want to overreact but geez, it hurts, and I want him to know that hitting and kicking are unacceptable.

How do you discourage this behavior?

TIA,
Stephanie

[californiagirl]

Not overreacting is good -- strong responses tend to be encouraging (wow! look what I can make Mama do!) We do the following:
1) Say "Gentle! Hitting hurts!" (Note: You say what you do want, and you give a reason why.)
2) Offer a replacement. If he seems to be in a hitting-things mood, offer things he can hit, or show him clapping. If he seems to be in an interacting-with-Mama mood, show how to do gentle touches.
3) If the behavior continues, disengage. Put him down or turn him away from you, stop interacting, and say "I don't play with people who hurt me."

For biting we start at step 3...

[ribbit1019]

DD started this last week, much to my dismay. MIL started watching our nephew two weeks ago and this seems to be something she has picked up from IL's and nephew. They believe that spanking is an acceptable punishment, I do not. That's another story. ;) So I think she thinks hitting is o.k. now.
When she does hit she says "YAHH!" Almost like a Karate noise? I think this is nephew.
Like PP said we reinforce, "Gentle please", and "Ouch and that hurts!", we follow that up with redirection giving her something to pound on, usually it is her drum. She has not repeated it after she is redirected so we haven't had to move on to "I am not going to play with someone that hurts me" So redirection works best in our house. ;) GL!

Christy
Maddy says "Hi baby!" Such a little parrot!

http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Surprise!
http://lilypie.com/days/060221/0/21/0/-5/.png[/img][/url]

[Mamma2004]

Thanks to both of you. DS just turned one at the end of may so maybe it's the age, too!

I usually try to say "gentle" and show him how to touch nicely, while at other times it's more effective to redirect. This morning I actually yelled, "OUCH!" - not meaning to yell, it was just a reaction - and he looked startled and began to whimper. I didn't want him to think I was actually yelling at him, KWIM?

Anyway, thanks for your help. I welcome input from anyone else with ideas!

Thanks,
Stephanie

[ellies mom]

I think it is good to show that it hurts. A surprised Owww! is a better way to teach him that hitting hurts than hitting him to show him, it also shows "hurt" more than just explaining it.

So what you did was probably fine, you might want to just add "hitting hurts" and then do the "gentle touches" thing. Personally at this stage, I think it is ok to cuddle a bit to explain that he needs to be gentle, especially if you really scared him. Later though you may need to step away a bit.