Urban moms-what keeps you living in the city...

[tny915]

...instead of moving to the suburbs?

I revisit this question every couple years. I'm in San Francisco where real estate prices and quality of schools among other things have led most families I know to move to the suburbs. Our families are here in the city, and in laws persuaded us to remain closeby to take care of them if necessary (cultural thing). Thus, with their help, we purchased a home here. The plus for us is that my parents can take care of DD while we work, so we don't need to worry about the cost of daycare. DH is also a creature of habit and since we've lived here all our lives, he can't imagine leaving. But every time another of my friends moves out of the city, I think again about how much more we could afford if we moved, how much safer it could be, how much better the schools are, DD could safely play in the front yard, etc.

So, what keeps you living in the overpriced, cramped quarters of the big city?

[Sarah1]

I think about all those things too (how much better the schools would be, what it would be like to have--GASP--a yard, etc etc etc). I love the heterogeneity (sp?) of the city. Living in the city makes me feel like I am part of an exciting, vibrant community. I love all the great young families in our neighborhood, but I love that there are also young twentysomethings as well as older people around. It doesn't even bother me when I see a homeless dude walking around with a shopping cart. It just amuses me.

I love that I can walk almost anywhere...the Starbucks, great shops, the zoo, the park, the beach (we're in Chicago about a 15-minute walk from Lake Michigan), whatever. I love that we can walk or take a cab to some of the greatest restaurants on the weekend.

Something about looking out my window and seeing the skyline just never loses its excitement for me.

What I HATE about the city? The high prices and the inconvenience of parking rank right up there. Snobby people. Panhandlers.

[kijip]

Diversity, better public transit, access to larger libraries and arts activities and the ability to walk most places I need to go are things that keep us in the city. I really don't like driving so needing to drive to the grocery store would be a big negative for me. Also, I feel part of an established community here. That is not to say that I would never move to the suburbs.

Here are the things that make me consider a move to the suburbs: cleaner/greener, quality of public schools, more political diversity.

[lizamann]

What Sarah said! The walking everywhere is key. I can't imagine how fat I would get in the suburbs if I substituted the car for walking most of the time. Add amazing takeout and delivery to the list - no need to ever cook living in this city.

I figure it's more environmental, too, with shared walls, fewer acres taken up, less fossil fuels expended, etc. I love taking the bus and train with dd because she never protests, unlike in a carseat. We can have fun along the way, or just chill out together.

That said, however, it's truly dh who keeps us in the city. If it weren't for him, I would have fled to one of the older, more urban suburbs long ago - can you imagine an affordable Victorian with huge yard? Hard for me to resist. But since dh is adamant about staying here, I focus on the positives, of which there are many!

[kath68]

I'm suburban, and one thing I never understood is how city-folk did is grocery shop without a car. To me, grocery shopping is practically defined by loading up the car full of the supplies for the week. And then there is Costco. How do city people do Costco?

So, this is an honest question -- because it is one of the things that keeps me from considering city life -- how do you grocery shop without a car?

I would love the city life in many ways (some of the suburbs of S.F. are not that less expensive than the city, sad to say, so there isn't that trade off as much as you would think.), but I love my truck so much. I can't see giving it up. It is invaluable for all kinds of errand-running.

[lizamann]

You are so right that suburban-type shopping is very frustrating, if not impossible, in the city. So I just don't do it. Costco - what's that LOL? I have plenty of city friends that do do Costco, though. My neighbor does it all the time. Here's her routine (and what I do on rare occasion if I have a huge haul): stop in front of the building with blinkers on, open trunk and starts hauling to the front door. Usually the doorman clues in by now and comes to help out. If kid is in car, stuff is hauled to the main lobby only, still within view of the car. If doorman helps, they carry it all 150 feet to the elevator. SOMETIMES they even take it up in the elevator, but that is rare. After trunk is unloaded, get back in car and go to parking, which can be anywhere from across the street to a block away. Get kid out, carry kid back to building, load kid and stuff on elevator, unload elevator, unlock front door and haul to the kitchen. WHEW. That's why I don't do it!

Instead: I shop locally on foot and buy only a bag or two of groceries at a time. If I really need to stock up, I choose delivery (only $3) and have the whole haul schlepped directly into my kitchen. Absolutely no effort on my part! In my book, that is even tons easier than suburban shopping!

[emilyf]

Like the others said-the walking! I love to walk places and sometimes days go by that I don't need to get in the car. We are in an older, ethnic neighborhood and I love the older grandparent types who are always around during the day and adore ds-keeps me from ever feeling lonely when I am home alone with him. Our neighborhood and city is not so car unfriendly-I can (and do) drive to the grocery store for big stockups and can generally park right out front and unload. But, I can also walk to Whole Foods which is what I prefer to do more often. We can also get to some great parks (although I really wish we had one right in our neighborhood) and cultural institutions. I can run errands (bank, post office, office supply store) on foot, and we can walk to lots of restaurants. Sometimes I long for a bigger yard (we have a small fenced area where ds can play) but then I think of all the work that includes-dh and I are not big on home maintenance as it is. Schools are an issue for us, but there are some new charter type options that are intriguing and some great private schools. I love the sense of community you get living in a city. Plus there's lots to do-outdoor movies, outdoor concerts, festivals etc. I'm not sure we'll be here forever, our house is small, but we aren't moving anywhere anytime soon.
Emily \r\nmom of Charlie born 11/02

[aliceinwonderland]

We do our grocery shopping at about 4 different stores, so now, even though in the city, we do take the car.

But a while back I shopped once a week for the essentials, and then a couple of nights for the fresh stuff I would need to make dinner. Just stopped at the store on the way back from work.
We did Costco once a month.

e.

[Roleysmom]

Well, I think about this a lot, but less than I used to given that your description of your DH (once he is put, he stays put, to paraphrase) very accurately captures my DH. We are in the heart of the city to stay, most likely, so now I have started focusing on possibly moving to the neighborhood where DD will be attending school. There are things I love about our neighborhood and the city that I would miss terribly. Sarah captured them, especially seeing the skyline from our front porch. I love the fact that we live in the third largest city in the country and I could walk downtown if I was feeling ambitious. I like the action and I like the diversity. Are there guys with pink and blue cotton candy sticks on a big platform walking down the street in the suburbs, I don't think so! I don't think a large public school district would be a fit for us, so there's less of a draw to move to the suburbs. A year or so ago I was focused on what DD is missing by not living in the suburbs. Now I'm more focused on what she's gaining. I think she'll be able to handle herself in a lot of different situations that she may not have been able to if things were a little easier. This is a kid who understands parralel parking, waiting for someone to get off the bus before you get on and communicating with people who speak a different language. This is a very different experience than I had, and I think that's good.


Paula -- mom to Roley Julia, January '02

[tiapam]

Lots of city folks have cars. I can walk to the grocery store or drive. I decide based on what I am buying, who I am with, time of day and the weather. We have a garage (many single family homes in Chicago do) and plenty of street parking where we live. I think you are confusing the dense, downtown areas of cities with the outlying neighborhoods. They are still in the city, but there is more space, and the buildings are smaller. No skyscrapers by me.

-Pam

Charlotte born October 2004

[C99]

Some of it is street cred. ;-) But 97% of it is convenience and diversity. Around here, suburbs are pretty homogeneous (I don't remember that being the case w/ SF, when I lived there), so the city offers more diversity.

I love my neighborhood and my neighbors, love that I can take public transportation or drive, love that my kid gets excited by buses and trains, love the good individual restaurants, love how much there is to do -- w/in city limits -- no matter what you like to do or what your interest.

[pixelprincess]

We moved to San Leandro from SF a couple years back to be able to afford a home. Our home is still quite small, but more home than we could have afforded in SF. As a city girl at heart, I love that I can still walk to everything and also drive/park if I want to. Our community is really wonderful and it has been easier to make connections and get to know people, something we never did in SF as renters. I find myself enjoying the best of both worlds, living in a fairly urban area and close enough to SF where I stay connected through my doctors, friends, etc.

The schools here aren't the greatest so we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. And I have to say I miss the diverse SF cuisine.

[C99]

When I lived in SF, we had a car. (Another thing I like about city living: the need for only 1 car, if you have a car at all.) I drove to the grocery store most of the time, but I did walk it on occasion (mostly because I didn't want to haul it all up the hill!). We actually lived w/in walking distance of the Costco in SF, but we usually drove and let our membership lapse a short while after we moved b/c we were just buying gigantic boxes of jalapeno poppers and other junk food that we didn't need.

One of my good friends here in Chicago doesn't have a car. She just buys 1-2 bags of groceries each time. We have a small grocery store w/in walking distance of our house and although I don't do the bulk of my shopping there, I do buy things on occasion -- just take the stroller and walk.

[shishamo]

Grocery shopping:

I used to live in NYC (with two kids). Most supermarket there offer delivery (usually just for 2-3 dollars).

I also used freshdirect.com. In fact, a lot of my friends did, too.