Is there anything that you *wouldn't* do for your child?

[Marisa6826]

So I was driving the other day - one of my favourite things to do. I was thinking about just how much a Mother loves her DC. I couldn't think of anything I wouldn't do to save them.

It's different than if they were older and say, asked me to rob a bank to fund their meth habit. I mean, God forbid. If you were put to the test - is there anything you'd draw the line for?

My biggest fear is fire. Hands down. I'm petrified of it. I'd still run into a burning house to save my girls or Pigdogs.

I wouldn't hesitate to do what I had to do if they were in danger - and yes, that includes killing somebody if that's what it came to. I specifically mean if somebody was harming them. Not like if one of them asked me to off their MIL because they couldn't stand the thought of more ambrosia salad at their kid's birthday party.

Funny thing is, and I know that I'm a sh!t for saying it, but I don't know that I would do the same for Jonathan. I think that it's the Mama Bear thing.

I'm going to pay for that last paragraph... ;)

-m

[mharling]

Interesting question; I was discussing something like this with a friend and said that my children are the only people in the world I would give my life for. Total Mama Bear thing.

Mary - Some days work. Some days don't.
Lane - April 2003
Faye - March 2005

[hez]

I've had that same thought while driving. Amazing how your mind wanders onto those topics in the car. Anyway, it's funny how I purposefully put Payton on the house side vs. street side when we're taking a walk together along our sidewalk-- so that if a car got out of control (on our little cul-de-sac it's pretty unlikely) I could protect him or toss him into the lawn out of the car's way. I never acted that way about the dog (who's going to walk wherever he wants anyway).

There's not much I wouldn't do for him, which is so weird to think because I was (maybe still am a little? ;)) a pretty selfish person pre-Payton.

[Raidra]

I would totally do anything to save my child's life. Anything. I'm a total wimp, though, and worry sometimes that I wouldn't have the nerve. But I try to have faith in my inner mamma bear, because I'm sure that if something happened to him that I could have prevented.. well, let's just not think about that. Do you remember that movie, In The Nick of Time or something? Where Christopher Walken kidnaps Johnny Depp's daughter, and tells him he has to kill the governor if he wants his daugther back? I'd totally do it if I didn't have another way out.

I'm sure I'd put my life in danger for my husband, too, and if someone were about to kill (or seriously hurt) him and I had the chance to kill the person, I'm sure I'd do that, too. But if there wasn't a guarantee that at least one of us would live.. I don't know. It's important that our kids have at least one parent, don't you think?

[boys2enough]

Oh, my. Lately I have been having over-active imagination and often visualize, against my own will, the perils I would have to volunratily go into to save my children. The images make me shudder but over and over again, I tell myself that when the time comes I would do everything necessary to save them. However, I have two phobias: milk and frogs. Would I drink tons of milk and walk amongst jumping frogs if I have to? Yes. But the "thinking" and "imagining" process still freaks me out.

Cheers, Lin
Mom to 2 wild boys
D 3/98
G 11/02

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/pnoodles.gif

[aliceinwonderland]

Hmm. I'm pretty sure I'd put my life in danger for my children, just like every other poster. I think, if I consciously had time to make a decision (and it wasn't an instictual thing), I'd very much still put my life in danger for my husband too (as if, god forbid, I had to donate an organ for him and say the surgery was very very risky for me, I'd totally do it). This is based on my conviction that, were it be a choice for Erik to have to live with one parent only, I'd want it to be DH, as I think Erik would have a better life for it...If it were instictual, I'm afraid I'd do it for Erik, but not Dh..sad, but the truth!

I hope none of us have to make any of these choices, though :)

[muskiesusan]

I have thought about this a lot as well. I would definately risk my life for my child's and lately I have been thinking of what else I would do for them. In my city there is currently a case where a brother beat his other brother to death with a baseball bat. The parents, who have been pretty good about avoiding the media, have by all accounts been standing by the son who is accused of the murder (not justifying his actions at all, but going to his hearings, telling him they love him, trying to get him psych help, etc). I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through, but I also can't imagine ever stop loving a child. I think the parent/child relationship is probably the only place true unconditional love can exist (don't tell my DH).


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[nov02mom]

I'm the same way.......I swear- I have a much more vivid imagination since I became a mommy!!! I have my escape routes planned for fire, and I know where to go in case of a tornado (in NC- really?), etc......
Jon would just have to fend for himself though......I would maybe throw him a life preserver if he was drowning. (we just had a big fight though!)

[Moneypenny]

In my head, I know I'd do anything to save her life. In my heart, I used to worry if I'd really be able to. Then one day when she was maybe 5 months old, I tripped over a footstool while I was carrying her. I was about to land so that her little head would crash right into a bookcase. Everything went into slow motion - rather than putting my arms out to protect myself I curled her into my body and cupped her head with my hand. I broke our fall by letting my nose smash into the windowsill. Somehow, we never hit the floor and she never hit the bookcase. I had a bruise on the bridge of my nose that lasted for weeks and the area is still actually tender if I push it, but, I became absolutely confident in my ability to not think about myself one bit when I perceive she's in danger. I honestly thought she was going to crack her head open in that fall, and mama instinct just took over. It was incredibly scary, but very reassuring all at the same time.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif[/img][/url]

[Tracey]

I've thought about this too. I think it must be the brain trying to sort through such powerful emotions that having children brings out it us. There's no doubt I'd die for her and I'd die for my husband. The scary part is that I would kill for her. Like Marissa said, I wouldn't kill so she could get on the cheerleading squad or anything--so don't freak out lol. I mean if her life were in danger, I could do whatever it takes to save her.

Remember the serial rapist in FL a couple of years back. He would zero in on victims at daycare centers. He'd follow them and overpower them and get into their cars at some point. Then he would threaten to harm the child unless the woman cooperated. Needless to say, they all did. How sick is that to use a mother's love that way. There you are being violated and you just don't want your child to know what's going on,to be scared, or to be harmed.

I also wonder if all women love their children as much as I do. I have trouble understanding how a woman could abuse or neglect her child. Intellectually, I understand that they do not have the same life experience that I have had, but I have trouble mustering up much sympathy for a women who won't protect her child.

[Corie]

I would do absolutely anything for my children!

Whenever my husband goes out of town, I put an aluminum
baseball bat under our bed. I am such a light sleeper that
I would be up and swinging before the intruder even saw it
coming. Believe me, this guy would have a fight on his
hands!

[Marisa6826]

There was a mugger in Central Park last spring that put a gun to a 3 month old's head telling his Mother he'd shoot if she didn't hand over her jewelry.

It was in broad daylight, in the middle of the park.

WTF?

-m

[mama2galpals]

i would absolutely give my life to save any of my children's lives.




rita
mommy to
olivia '97
stella '00
emma '03

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
--Henry David Thoreau

http://lilypie.com/baby3/030123/3/4/1/+10/.png

[american_mama]

I assume I would do anything, but when I imagine it, I have serious doubts about my physical ability to save my child. I am strong, but I have practically zero experience pushing my phsyical limits. Basically, I give up when things hurt. So, when reading about tsunami victims who clung to their child, I would visualize myself holding on to my child for a hot 10 seconds before saying, "But my arm is getting weak and the waves are going to wash my child away anyway... so I might as well just let go." In my imagination, I can't muster the strength to physically save my child and thus I give up before even starting. This makes me feel really sad as a mother.

I do have one positive story. When I was almost 7 months pregnant, I was sitting, legs outstretched, in the shallow water at a beach with DH while my older daughter (age 2) was wading a distance away from us. I saw her bend back to let her hair drag in the water, and knew she was going to lose her balance and go underwater. She did, and I was up and halfway to her before my husband even got his feet under him. So that made me feel pretty good.

[ellies mom]

I think you would hold on to your child a hell of a lot longer than you think. You don't give yourself enough credit. I think you would find a whole new level of physical limits.

[Globetrotter]

How funny. I was just listening to the Miss Saigon soundtrack today!

I never understood the power of a mother's love until I had kids of my own.

Kris

[himom]

I've been thinking about this lately too, mostly because of a few recent episodes of Law & Order. Yes, I know they're fictional, but hey! they are "ripped from the headlines."

Anyway, one was a child who would have died if he didn't get hideously expensive operations. His parents basically let a rich guy sexually abuse their older child in exchange for the cash to save the younger child's life. Another was a child who was dying and needed a bone marrow match, so her parents conceived and bore another child to be the donor, and subjected that child to all the tests, donations, etc that were necessary to save the older child. Another episode was a father who killed an insurance company employee who denied the man's dying daughter the funding for a miracle drug that would have saved her life.

Then I read that story about the mother in the tsunami who had two kids with her and had to choose which one to save.

So my answer to this is I would do absolutely anything to protect my DS. And I'm completely freaked out about having another one, because I have no idea what I'd do if I was forced to choose the life and welfare of one over the life and welfare of the other.

If your house is on fire or you're on a sinking ship, who do you save first? My nightmare is being over the ocean with my kids on a plane that's about to go down.

Life is so much easier when I KNOW DS is my primary responsibilty and there are no split loyalties!!

[cilantromapuche]

I am so glad I am not the only one with an overactive imagination. My biggest fear:

Having to get hit by a car while pushing my son out of the road. He is so in love with cars and trucks and anything that is life threatening that he runs for the roads or parking lot. I hate it and it is time to find a leash thingy!

Christine

[Marisa6826]

I've already run the two kid/two dog/fire escape scenario in my head. I'd obviously have to make two trips if Jonathan wasn't home, but I'd do it in a second.

I figure if push came to shove, I could put Mia in a pillowcase to help me carry her. Seriously. That's how far it's gotten in my screwy head.

-m

[Virginia Dad]

I am relieved to see that I am not the only one who has an over-active imagination. I often have thoughts about the worst "what ifs" you can imagine. They have made me realize that I would give my life for DD without even thinking about it. Same goes for DW. I also come from a very tight knit family (my mother, brother and sister) and would most likely give my life for them as well, although my mom has always put everyone else before her so I am sure she would yell at me if I tried to save her and risk my life! I often wonder if I would be able to muster the courage and strength to do something if DD was in danger and I try to comfort myself by thinking that the courage will come from somewhere. I think in those situations you don't even think about what you are doing, your body and mind just do it. The one that has been going through my mind a lot lately is a scenario in which we are faced with an aggressive, attacking dog. It's probably because of all the dogs we see in the park, but I always seem to be preparing myself for just in case.

[aliceinwonderland]

that's a really tough one. I remember the mom in the tsunami made the decision based on which child was most likely to survive on his own...So sad to have to make that choice...

Thanks Marissa for this ever-joyful thread ;)

e.

[Raidra]

We specifically bought harnesses and 30' long leashes so we could lower our dogs out the window if we had to. :) Our ferrets used to live in the basement while we slept on the second floor, so I also had a spare key (for the front door) in my bedroom, and a backpack by the front door, so that if I had to go out the window, I could run around to the front, get back in, and load 5 ferrets into the backpack.

I totally do the whole planning out what-ifs thing, if you hadn't noticed. :)

[Raidra]

Just out of curiosity.. would you do similar things for children that aren't your own? There's a story on the news today about a 5 or 6 yr old autistic boy who wandered away from his family and fell on the subway tracks about a mile from his house. Some man jumped on the tracks and rescued him from an oncoming train. They're trying to find out who the man was to thank him, but I don't think he's come forward yet.

So, would you do something like that to save a child that wasn't your own? How would you be able to balance the need to preserve your own life to be around for your children, with the need to save an innocent child?

[Marisa6826]

I probably would. It's that Mommy instinct, KWIM?

I'm one of those people that stops if they see a car accident to make sure people are OK. I'm forever calling 911 if I see somebody needs help.

I've even rescued animals.

Jonathan thinks I'm a loon.

-m

[NancyJ_redo]

>Funny thing is, and I know that I'm a sh!t for saying it, but
>I don't know that I would do the same for Jonathan. I think
>that it's the Mama Bear thing.
>
>I'm going to pay for that last paragraph... ;)
>

Okay M, I know you didn't mean for this thread to be funny, but even in your most serious of threads you still make me laugh out loud :)

I haven't read all of the responses, but some of those I read about 'getting the strength you didn't you know you had in times of crisis' made me remember a story. I was very close to the epicenter when the Northridge earthquake in CA hit in 1994. My boyfriend at the time and I had to help a lot of my neighbors get out of their houses and I was amazed at the ability we had to get that done (and the lack of fear). I didn't know I had it in me. I really think our bodies go into survival mode during moments of crisis and that we can accomplish a lot more than we'd ever imagine (even with the wildest of imaginations).

I'm not reading the rest of the responses only bc I too have an active imagination and have envisoned some already bad scenarios... I don't need any help imagining more :)

[squimp]

Wow, that's quite a dramatic story - good thing you didn't break your nose. And amazing that you adjusted your reaction so quickly!

[MelissaTC]

I would totally do anything for him. When I was giving birth and the OB told me that they had to go in to get him, I prayed that if one of us had to die, that it would be me. Wow. That is weird to type that out. I have never shared that with anyone before. That was the first moment that I really felt like a Mom.

I too have an over-active imagination. I try to make little escape plans in my head, specifically if someone breaks into our home. In my little plan, Patrick takes on the criminal as I grab Matthew and get out of the house. Patrick loves that plan. ;)

It is amazing to me, how the adrenaline rushes and instinct takes over. A little girl hit DS in the face the other day and I swear, my claws were out. DS has run out into parking lots before and I have grabbed him from being run over. I felt like the bionic woman, running to get him. The worst was the day he fell down our stairs. He was a year old. I saw him flop like a rag doll and I lunged to get him. I almost went flying down as well. I was so scared that something terrible happened to him, like a spinal injury. Turned out that he was fine, just some bruises and a poopie dipe. But eeek! My heart was in my throat!!

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

I know the mamabear instinct is strong, but lots of men have it just as strongly, and sometimes for children that are not even thier own. My Greatuncle Red was walking to work one day when he passed a house where he knew two kids were living. The house had smoke coming through the windows. He ran into the house bringing both children out. Unfortunatley both kids died and my uncle's face was severely scared. He never got over not being able to save those kids. He was the kindest man I ever knew.



Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04

[kijip]

I would die for my child. I would kill for my child. Period.

However, on reflection, if Toby grew up to be a rapist or serial murderer or criminal I would not lie for him, hide him from the police or whatever.

[kijip]

I would die for my child. I would kill for my child. Period.

However, on reflection, if Toby grew up to be a rapist or serial murderer or criminal I would not lie for him, hide him from the police or whatever.

[aliceinwonderland]

I agree completely. Except, that even if my child became a criminal (one of my worse fears), I would NOT help him escape the consequences that society bestows upon such people, but I WOULD still stand by him, all the way, pay his legal bills, provide support, try to rehabilitate him, etc. But I would not hide him from police or facilitate escape, etc.

I thought about this during the Peterson trial and looking at his parents. Sadly, I would do the same thing (not help him go to Mexico, though) but during the trial stand by my son, even if in my heart turned into stone because I created a monster.

e.