Is this what life with a toddler is like? (long)

[kristenk]

I'm sure that this is typical toddler behavior, but this is completely new to me. DD is almost 17 months old and, up until now, at least, has been very, very easy to work with. It seems like everything for the past 2 days has been a battle. Our examples:

She's always been fine getting into her carseat, especially for the past week or so when she figured out how to clip her chest strap together herself (she's thrilled with herself and will click it together and then look up at me just beaming!). Yesterday, we went to the park and it started to sprinkle (with really dark skies and thunder in the distance) after we'd been there for maybe 10 minutes. I carried her back to the car quickly and tried to put her in her carseat. Hysterics and actual tears. I guess she wasn't ready to leave, yet? I sat with her in the backseat of the car until she calmed down then tried again and the same thing happened. Repeat. Repeat. Then, it actually stopped raining and another car pulled up with 3 kids. I put DD's shoes back on and we got out of the car (it was getting pretty warm in there) and went back. I promise no more than 3 minutes passed when big raindrops started falling and once again we go back to the car rather quickly. She still didn't want to sit in her seat, but I really thought that we shouldn't be out there with a thunderstorm approaching, so I basically strapped her in almost forcibly. Well, I guess it would have been forcibly b/c she didn't want anything to do with it. She was crying a little on the drive back, but then started looking at a book and was fine. This morning, I was supposed to attend a meeting and thought that getting her into her the carseat at the house wouldn't be a problem, it would just be when we were leaving that she might have a problem. Boy, was I wrong! I've tried about 3 different times this morning to see if we could go somewhere in the car and she'd start protesting/rolling/standing in her carseat. She'd be upset, but as soon as she stood up in the carseat and then started touching the ceiling or lights, she'd be fine. I'm afraid that she was really upset yesterday and didn't want to leave the park, but now she's just figured out that there's cool stuff to look at in the car that you can't see when you're strapped into your rear-facing carseat. :(

Today, I couldn't get her into her highchair for breakfast. I tried giving her something to hold which generally distracts her and that didn't work. I tried having her climb in herself but that didn't work. I gave her a bite of oatmeal and told her that she needed to sit in her chair to eat and she could care less. She ended up eating while sitting on my lap. Oh, and about 3 hours have passed since I wrote this section. Lunch wasn't any better. At one point, she was sitting in her highchair and I put the tray on (but no straps harnessing her into the chair) the chair and she started arching around and crying actual tears. It was horrible.

And, finally, diaper changes are awful. She's been quite the wriggler for several months, but I could always find something to distract her (put a sticker on something, etc.) enough to get a diaper change done. For the past several days, though, nothing's worked. I've changed her dipe while she's standing a few times and am grateful to say that I'm getting much better at it. I don't know what's left when the standing diaper change no longer works. And I should add here that the standing diaper change appears to be losing its appeal.

I think that she could be teething. I can feel some sharp points along her upper gum that I suspect could be her first set of upper molars coming in. She has 2 molars on bottom that really didn't cause too much problem when they came in a couple of months ago. She's pretty clingy during the day. She acts tired, but has been sleeping well at night and during naps.

The questions:
Is this all just teething-related? She feels bad and is expressing it however she can? I gave her Motrin this morning and she seems a bit happier, but still won't cooperate in any manner with highchair-sitting or diaper changes.

I'm worried that if this is teething-related, that whatever I do now to get through this teething window will end up influencing how she acts when her teeth are no longer bothering her. For example, if she eats someplace other than her highchair right now, won't we have a hard time going back to it later?

How in the world am I supposed to deal with this? I don't see a workaround for the carseat in the car. I'm avoiding car trips that aren't necessary, so we didn't go anywhere after the park yesterday and it looks like we won't be going anywhere today or tomorrow unless she willingly gets buckled in. I'd love to leave my house! My goal is to attend playgroup on Friday. How am I supposed to be reacting to this???

[TraciG]

Sounds like typical toddler behavior, but if u feed DD in your lap she might get used to it, u have to be so careful starting habits u dont want to continue, we are going through something with sleeping & actually had to stop something we were doing because the doc said it will become a habit, NOT to start .

So hard to tell if there is pain while they're teething, sounds like you're DD just wants to be independant & do what she wants . Toddler's are unpredictable !!!!!!!!

good luck

[Laurelsmom2002]

Yep welcome to the terrible 2s- that actually start at 15 mo IMO.
I would just wressle dd into the car seat/stroller and one day she realized fighting wasnt going to work- b/c it never did and wammo- no more wrestling.
Good luck-as long as your consistant it'll stop faster

[m448]

re: the carseat. Yes it's normal and you'll realize as she gets older she needs a transition. So while leaving the park was appropriate for her safety and well being you can give her a leaving warning like "we're going to swing one last time and then we have to say goodbye". Even if you pick her up in a rush to protect her from the rain, give her a chance to "say goodbye" to the playground and verbally walk her through the walk to the car, getting in the carseat routine. I would not have gone back the second time to the playground because it would have been confusing for my son. Also, when he's not wanting to be put in his carseat it's usually after the 3rd in & out on a long day of errands. I just start, "Ian you have to get in your carseat, we are leaving" and put him in. Yes, sometimes it's against his will but I don't get an angry tone of voice and I don't spank him, I just follow through on my words/requests so that he knows my words have meaning.

As far as the highchair, food is not a battle I'm willing to fight. If she doesn't want to be in her high chair put her down and let her go about her business until she's hungry and then try again. Eventually she'll want to sit in it because she realizes she's going to eat. Toddlers get very picky about the what/when of food at this age. It's totally age appropriate. Also, if she does well consider getting a booster seat and playing up the "big girl" aspect of her sitting at the table in a regular chair. Does she eat lunch with you? I realized at the 1 year mark I couldn't just sit my toddler down to eat, I would prepare our meal and sit down with him to eat. He did much better. We stopped using his tray and just pushing the highchair up to the table at meals right around the same time and he did much better without being confined. Remember, they're exerting their independence at this age and we can give them appropriate outlets for that.

Ahhh, the diaper change. Yes, I swear every parent will tell you their own horror story. LOL For us what worked was keeping the diaper changes on the changing table and grabbing something SUPER interesting before heading there. Like Daddy's remote, my cell phone, heck even the house phone or my keys did in a pinch. The more of a non-toy it was the more interesting and we'd only let him grab them for diaper changes. Also, singing songs worked as well as stickers on the back side of their hand (they try to take them off and by that time you're done). When all else fails, again I verbalize that we need to do the diaper change and do it quickly. This is also a good time to transition her as well. Let her know, "honey we have to change your diaper. Can you meet me in your room?" Then walk to her room. Some parents let their kids pick out the diaper or something else where they have a choice (such as the location of the diaper change). What's NOT a choice is doing it.

Some of her frustration is teething but most of it is the preverbal frustration. Even when our toddlers can say words they have a hard time picking the right ones to express what they want or are feeling. It gets better as they learn more words. It helps to reflect feelings as well if you see an impending meltdown. "Honey, I see you're frustrated we have to leave the playground. Say goodbye to the swing." So you've validated her feelings, given them a name that she'll use later on when she can say it herself and still got done what you had to do.

Good luck and remember, they're the TERRIFIC twos, not terrible twos. This little creature that was totally dependent on you is exploring her world.

[kath68]

Great advice so far, no need to repeat. Giving choices, transitioning and acknowledging/labeling feelings are all wonderful techniques worth emphasizing.

One little other piece of advice from a friend of mine with years and years of nanny-ing experience (a Super Nanny in her own right).

Pick a few essential rules of the house that you won't budge on, and stick with them. Not to many, though, because then you are setting yourself up for too many battles all the time. The car seat is a must, of course. Picking up after yourself is a good one. Bedtime at x o'clock. Meals happen in your high chair. No biting or hitting. Whatever is really important to you. Let the small stuff go.

Re: car seats, IMO, the non-essential trips are important opportunities for learning the car seat rules. If you can have the (repeated) battle over buckling her in when you aren't in a hurry, you will be able to handle it better.

At least w/ DS, he will throw a fit only for so long -- if he realizes he isn't going to get what he wants, the tantrum immediately stops. Happened over the weekend -- he was standing at the sliding glass door, mad as heck that we weren't letting him out back (daddy was BBQ'ing and he would be dangerously underfoot). He yelled and screamed at the door for a couple of minutes. When he realized he was getting nowhere, he literally shrugged his shoulders and quietly moved on. It was almost bizarre to watch.

[Lovingliv]

This is some good advice. My little bundle is only 9 weeks old..but I am going to print this out so I remember it. Just a matter of time before I need it. Thank-you!

[kristenk]

I really was hoping that everyone would say something like, "Oh, she's probably just acting like that because she's in discomfort from teething. Relax, it will go away soon enough!" Oh, well! I knew it would happen sooner or later, I was just hoping that I had more time to figure out how I would handle things.

I totally agree that getting her out of the car at the park probably didn't help matters any. I just didn't know what else to do b/c it wasn't sprinkling any more and it was getting really hot in the backseat. I definitely need to work on consistency now that I know she's trying to figure out boundaries, etc.

My follow-up questions are more how-to related. How do I get her strapped into the carseat when she starts turning away and struggling up as soon as I put her down in the seat? Our scenario is I sort of cradle her in my arms so I can swoop her into the rear-facing seat. She gets on the seat and then immediately starts turning away from me and struggling onto her knees in the seat so that she can either stand up or launch herself into me. What do I do?

When I try to put her in the high chair, she'll straighten her body so that she's not sitting. I've tried to ask her to climb up into the chair by herself (which she really enjoys doing), but that only works when she doesn't think I'm going to strap her in. DH was home in time for dinner and we were able to get her strapped in between the two of us, but it definitely wasn't pretty and lots of crying was involved. She continued crying for quite awhile when she was eating dinner, but then started enjoying herself, so that was good.

I'm hoping that we can try to go to the library's story time tomorrow, but I don't want to make a bad situation worse. I'll definitely prepare her ahead of time and let her know that we're going to the library and ask if she wants to go (the answer is always to head straight to the door), etc. It just seems like if I force her into the seat and physically restrain her, that I might cause other problems. Or is that what I need to do to help establish the boundary that DD needs to ride in her car seat when we're in the car? I feel like such an ogre just thinking about it. I guess I'm having trouble with being firm without seeming mean (and mean isn't the right word, but I'm having trouble coming up with the correct one).

[deborah_r]

Hmmm, the high chair is a tough one. I agree with using force if you have to to get her into the carseat, but when you get into anything food-related, I worry about forcing anything. I'm inclined to say don't force her into the high chair, but make it clear that if she wants to eat that is where she has to be. She will eventually decide she is hungry enough to climb in the chair! Another idea is to maybe use this as a transition time to get a booster seat that attaches to the regular chair, or to get one of those KinderZeats or Stokke chairs - maybe she is just not into the high chair anymore. I am amazed my DS hasn't fought it yet, because it is a bit confining(we don't use the tray anymore, just slide it up to the table, but still the seat has the high sides and the thing that comes up between his legs). All children are different - maybe she does not like to be so confined.

For me, car seats and diaper changes were where I drew the line. They are both a necessity and I would force him to go through with them if I had to. For diaper changes I used gentle, steady force to make him understand he needed to let me get the job done. I didn't feel great about it, honestly, but in my mind it was a situation I was not compromising on.

Maybe with the library trip, if you are sure she understands where you are going, and she wants to go, start getting her in the carseat, if she objects, maybe take her out and tell her you need to go back inside and can't go to the library, and maybe she will start to understand 'no car seat = no library or other fun stuff'

The situation you had at the park, I remember when Kai started doing things like that. One day he seemed to have no expectations of what was to happen next, so I could whip him from here to there no problem. Then all of a sudden he would freak out if we needed to leave somewhere and he wasn't ready. For heaven's sake, he threw a fit in the doctor's office because we were only going to drop off a form and he wanted to stay and play in the waiting room!!! SO I found I do have to be more careful to explain to him what is happening. I've started telling him what we are doing the next day, although I don't know if he understands what "tomorrow" means!

Good luck!

[lisams]

We had the carseat issue, and I had to physically push DD into the seat and use my arms to keep her from standing up. All the while I'm trying to calmy tell her how I understand how mad it makes her, and distract her with something fun we'll plan to do at home. I have found that you just have to do it, even if she's screaming. If you give in just once and get her back out then she'll do it again. The carseat is one of those struggles that DD now knows she won't win. Sometimes she'll revisit it to see if I'm still serious about it. We also did a lot of pretend car (the laundry basket) play, and we talked about how all of the stuffed animals have to be "strapped inside and ready to ride". I'll pretend one of the animals is crying and mad about having to be strapped in, now DD has fun telling them they have to be safe, etc.

With DD it took about 3 trips of me forcing her in for her to realize it wasn't worth it. I did feel mean, but in my opinion dragging it out and leading her to think she has some say in it when she really doesn't isn't fair either. Just remind yourself that you are doing it to keep her safe.

Just know that it will get better as long as you are consistant with how you handle it.

Welcome to toddlerhood!! It's hard but it's also so full of fun and amazing leaps!

Lisa

[Mom2Miri]

A bit of a different view on the carseat here, out of necessity. It's a non-negotiable, obviously, but DD has always fought it hard and if I forced her, she would throw up within minutes. Just her sensitive gag reflex which is getting a bit better with age. Anyways, because of this, we've learned other strategies. Distractions are good - favorite CDs that are played only in the car, special snacks only for the car, a minute with some special toy (the cellphone works wonders), and most importantly, talking about anything other than "you have to get in the carseat". Anytime I'm tired and resort to the obvious logical adult arguments as to why she needs to get in the carseat, it backfires. And yes, sometimes, I'll just let her play for a few minutes and then she'll be ready to get in willingly.

Oh, and check the obvious....does she have a bad diaper and is she hungry or thirsty....those usually lead to more determined struggles.

HTH,
Helen & Mirielle 2/03

[kellyotn]

re: the highchair I have a Stokke for my oldest and love it (one of my first BBB-recommended purchases!). But, they are pricey, so for our cabin I got 2 restuarant style wooden highchairs on ebay for like $31 each shipped. They are really nice for that price! Maybe she'd like something like that where she can be at the regular table? I can find the seller info if you like.

I don't really have any advice for the carseat. DD had a few huge carseat fits at about 16-18 months. I agree w/ PP that just be consistent, try to plan ahead for it (ie, don't be in a rush if possible), and she'll sooner rather than later see its a fight she's not gonna win. The idea of a special CD for the car only is great! ('Course then you are stuck listening to it too! ha ha.) Maybe a car only toy of some sort? Take her to the store to pick out something new and make it be a car toy?

Good luck!

[m448]

Relax, they DO outgrow this age appropriate behaviour but they need our help to learn what is socially acceptable as well as safety issues. As long as we remember what they're doing is perfectly normal, we can move on past that to find a solution or a way to make it work.

Don't beat yourself up about taking her out again at the park. I've done that too when my son was just starting this stage and you learn from your mistakes. What you especially learn is the quirks of your individual child. Remember even kids in the same family/same parents have totally different temperaments and different parenting needs.


When I have to get my son in the car seat (disclaimer: as they realize it's a HAVE TO they really do fight you less on it. Like I said the only time he puts up a fuss lately are those occasions where I'm in and out of the car more than 3 times). Just remember that you WANT to set up your child for success because believe it or not deep down your child WANTS to behave well, they just don't have all the tools yet. They come with age, phsyical maturity and our help as parents. So anyway I just put my hand under my son sort of like you mentioned cradle style and put his bum in first. Then I quickly do the shoulder straps, move onto the crotch clicker and readjust the bend of his body if necessary. The difference is really in HOW YOU do it. I keep my voice firm, calm and the whole time remind him that he needs to sit in his car seat, we're leaving. Don't overtalk the situation, it's too wordy for toddlers but do keep repeating a firm, concise statement while doing it.

About the highchair I agree with the poster that mentioned just wait out her appetite. They really don't hold out for long or just try the booster. In our house mealtimes and bedtimes are "by any means possible" territories. That just means that we strive for peace and comfort for the WHOLE family by any means possible.

Storytime sounds great - definitely set up situations for her to GET IT. Kids can only learn by doing and if we retreat from social situations it does nothing but hinder them in this aspect. Just remember that by setting age appropriate and not arbitrary-authoritarian boundaries you encourage your child to feel safe in that they can always expect the same response from you. They don't ahve to worry about getting an off the wall or different response if you enforce the boundaries you've chosen consistently yet still taking the time to acknowledge their feelings at the moment (those are two separate things).

[kristenk]

It's now 10:30am. DD normally eats around 8:30am. Breakfast still hasn't happened. I tried the high chair. I tried putting her in it (then taking her out when she stood up or wouldn't sit down) and I tried letting her climb into it when it was in various positions. I tried having her sit in a regular kitchen chair. She ate one bite of my cereal and then stood up and wouldn't sit back down again. I finally remembered the kid-sized table and chairs that were DH's when he was a kid. I just dragged those out of the closet and she sat in the chair for a few seconds but then when she stood up and I said she needed to sit to eat, she started crying. I have no idea what my options are now. I don't want to force her into the chair b/c I don't think that's good and I really don't think I can strap her in by myself.

Forget the library today, we're still working on breakfast.

edited to add: I give her half a straw cup of milk soon after she wakes up and I gave her another half straw cup about an hour ago so she has had something. And she's had a few more pieces of cereal at the small table, but she'll stand up *on the chair* immediately after it goes in her mouth. That's so incredibly dangerous, I don't know what to do.

[daisymommy]

Edited to add: As I was typing this response, you got some really great advice from other people, especially m448 :) So I hope I am not repeating too much of what has already been said.

I noticed that with every problem that came up with your DD it had to do with needing to sit/lay still, be strapped in, etc. In other words, not being free to roam around and move. This is sooo verrry toddler! :D Note my emphasis LOL!

They are little independent balls of energy that at this age want to do it all by themselves (even if sometimes they can't quite do something they still want to try--as in buckling their carseat even if you are late for an appoinment ;). And they sure as heck don't like times when they have to sit down or be strapped in--strollers, grocery carts, carseats, high chairs, diaper changes, etc. Sigh.

The advice I would give is just to be consistent and let them know that there are certain times they just have to sit down, or be still. They will fight it, but will eventually get used to it. I would also use as much distraction as possible. For instance:

Carseat: Leave early as possible to allow time for child buckling themselves in if this makes a difference to them. Give a 5 minute warning anouncement before leaving, or "One more time down the slide, then we're going home." I realize you had no choice on the rainy day ;). Sing a song as you are buckling them in about keeping them safe. But most times, yes, it's still like wrestling an alligator into a carseat! LOL!
Play fun music on the car ride to distract them from having to sit still. Bring soft toy, book, snack cup, sippy cup. Our Graco carseat has snack & cup holders, and a small toy holder attached to it. What a life saver! There are also mobiles etc. for younger babies to look at in the car.

Stroller, grocery cart: Snacks & toys. Pointing out & talking about things along the way as you are shopping. I am guilty of letting Joshua look at and hold small items in stores, then as he gets bored with them, putting them back on the shelf. It keeps him occupied. Just don't forget to put the sunglasses back before leaving Walmart ;).

Diaper changes: Once again, singing, small toys in a bin just for the purpose of diaper changes that don't come out at any other time. Such as a small flashlight, soft photo book of family members, finger puppets, etc.

High chair: Keep the food comin'! Also, love those suction cup toys by Sassy that attach to the high chair tray. But by 1 year old, my DS refused to sit in his high chair and wanted to be in a booster seat at the table along with us.

Take a deep breath, and just know....it's normal toddler behavior, and this too shall pass :)

[JElaineB]

When DS started to refuse the high chair around 18 months old I bough a booster chair and strapped him (pushed up to the table) in that and he was fine. So she might be ok if you get an actual booster chair and won't try to wander off so much. Of course DS is now starting to refuse the booster chair and is trying to eat while wandering around himself.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[ribbit1019]

Oh geez Kristine! What a hassle you've had the last couple of days. Hang in there!
Hopefully this stage wil pass quickly and she will realize that going places=car seat and eating=sitting....

{hugs}

Christy
Maddy - binkie free as of 6/28/05

http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Grow Baby Grow!
http://lilypie.com/days/060301/4/0/0/-5/.png

[m448]

Oh and one more thing - by no means is my advice on this thread original or my own ideas. LOL These were all snippets of advice given to me by reliable, experienced moms that when I put into practice worked for us.

I don't want anyone to think that I consider myself a baby guru or anything of the sort. Just a sympathetic mom who reaches out whenever possible because others have done the same for me.

[squimp]

I might just give up on breakfast or whatever activity if she's really not cooperating. She will let you know if she's really hungry. It's like when they're rejecting foods, you try for a bit, and if they won't eat, they won't eat. Toddler self-regulation.

I hope this is just a phase she's going through. Unfortunately it's common, as witness by the thoughtful and experienced advice you've gotten. DD has been like this at times, and it usually passes quickly. She's clearly exerting her independence. I find the more flustered I get, the worse it is. If she can tell I'm upset, it will accelerate. And I really wouldn't let her behavior keep me stuck at home all day. When going out I'd just have very low expectations, and allow lots of time for transitions.

Distraction is key, and really the only thing that worked for us at that age. I wonder if some music that she likes would help in the car. Sometimes I can get DD to hop in the car by saying "would you like to get in the car and listen to Signing Times music"?

Hang in there, take care of yourself, and remember, this will pass!

[kristenk]

Our battleground for today was the high chair. I tried to put her in it or let her climb up into it, etc. many, many times over the course of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. DH purchased a booster seat on his way home from work, so we got to try that for dinner. She ate morning and afternoon snack out of the high chair (which is what we normally do and have done for several months - maybe that's how this whole thing got started) and I gave her regular-size snacks. I could not get/entice/encourage her to sit in the high chair or booster seat at all. So, she had 2 bites of cereal this morning, half a cereal bar for snack, a little bit of cheddar cheese, a couple of bite-sized pieces of watermelon and kiwi, and about 16 ounces of milk. Yikes!

DH and I ate at the time DD normally has dinner and she kept indicating that she was hungry, but she'd cry when we tried to sit her down in either chair or even when we mentioned "sit". (Where's the sad and completely overwhelmed smiley when you need it?)

I'm stuck on my plan of action for tomorrow. Do I stick with the "you must sit in your chair to eat" line or do I just give in and feed her on my lap? I really, really, really want her to eat in her high chair, but I don't know how much crying, screaming, and not eating I can take. I've been pretty upbeat about the whole thing to DD, but it's definitely wearing me down.

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice! I'm sure we'll get through this; I just want to know how and when! :)

[bluestar2]

I just had to respond and say I know just what you are talking about. My 18 month old DS has just begun doing the same things. Granted he has never been an "easy" baby but these latest changes has me overwhelmed and very puzzled as well. He strongly resists being restrained by any means, be it the car seat/high chair/stroller/diaper change/shopping cart you name it. To boot he is extremely clingy and will not let me out of his sight. If I leave the room he has a violent reaction described by a friend as akin to "someone is cutting off his arm" :( I also thought he might have been ill or teething (molars) and tried Tylenol without any effect. So, I'm not sure I have much to add but just wanted to commiserate if it helps any. I think some excellent advice has been posted. I will list what has worked for us, though not every time:

Feeding:
We use the booster which he can't stand up in.
I eat at the same time which he seems to enjoy, especially if we are eating the same thing.
I serve the food with a utensil and bowl but I cannot touch it (yep, wants to do it himself) but I will also feed him with a separate utensil at the same time.
I have a few different things on the plate so he can choose and serve a wide variety every day.
If he continues to fight being in the high chair or starts throwing food, I will give him a warning and if that doesn't work then I take him out. Usually he has a full blown tantrum when I take him out then I just lay him down somewhere safe and when he is done I will offer the food once again. If the scenario repeats itself then meal time is over until the next scheduled feeding. Many times he will eat without a fuss the second time around but if not, I find he will eat more than usual at subsequent meals and will offer nutrient dense foods. I don't let him snack or give him food off my plate. He has gained 2 lbs since his last checkup 2 months ago and is very healthy so I just don't worry when he skips a meal here and there.

Car seat:
I tell him a few minutes before we leave and give him a chance to say goodbye and tell him where we're going next and distract him with a toy.
Many times I just have to physically hold him down and strap him in as quickly as possible (he's a strong little fella). He usually settles down quickly once buckled in and the car is moving.

Diaper changes:
Often, the "REALLY special toy" trick works.

Outings:
I find that outings are a lifesaver for us. We go out every day and he always enjoys trips to the park or zoo, anywhere he can be outdoors to run around, climb, hear music and see animals and people (especially children).
We go in the morning or after naps and with a full belly. Snacks in little ziploc bags are good. He hates shopping so I try and make those trips short. If we go to the market I keep him busy holding a grocery item, putting the food on the belt, or looking for the balloon, dog etc, whatever is around.

Sorry this is so long. I find that one day is difficult and the next he is back to his intense but happy self. It is very odd. Also, if you have someone who can watch or feed her, you may want to try the tag team approach. I find that DS can behave very differently with DH. Good luck!