calebsmama03
07-07-2005, 06:40 PM
OK, I know I'm 7 weeks late here, but anyone here who "knows" me knows I'm wordy (and a bit of a procrastinator!) so this took me a while to write out - little bits at a time with a colicky baby, pecking one handed. It is VERY long since I wrote it out for her babybook and am just copying it here. I'll probably change it to be more like a "letter" to her for her babybook, but thought if I don't actually finish it/post it I never will! So, sit back and grab your iced tea - here it is :)
Background - at 37 weeks (5/4) I was 5-6 cm dilated and 80% effaced with mild ctx so given Caleb was a 37 weeker we all thought she'd be born that day or the next. No dice - I had ctx every night for up to 2 hours then they'd stop. The MW had offered to break my water at 38 weeks but I was afraid I'd end up in the hospital for failure to progress. I had my 39 week appointment with my midwife, Kris that morning (5/18) from 9-10 AM. I'd still been having intermittent bouts of contractions 5 minutes apart as I had for 2 weeks, but they were coming in the morning (which was unusual) so I decided to have her check me again. Still 5-6cm, 90% and very stretchy but no progress even with all the contractions. We discussed herbal and homeopathic ways to get things moving and Kris told me to call her if I chose to pick up any of them. Caleb and I went to Target then groery shopping. Part way through Albertson's I started feeling a little queasy - nothing much. My contractions were still coming regularly but not painful - just tightening - so I thought *MAYBE* today is the day but didn't have high hopes given 2 weeks of similar contractions every night! I decided to go home due to the stomach upset just to be "safe". I also called Mike (DH) to let him know that I might be calling him home later. This was around 10:55. In the car I timed the ctx at 4 min apart and maybe 30 sec - nothing too different from what I'd had for 2 weeks but I decided to have Mike come home and call Kris to update her since they hadn't stopped yet. I tried to reach my friend who was going to be Caleb's babysitter to let her know I might need her but couldn't reach her. At 11 I called and told Mike to "start wrapping things up" at work and head home but not to rush too much. I called Kris at 11:10 and told her I was still contracting but they didn't feel "productive" at all, just crampy as they'd been. While we were on the phone she was apparently timing my contractions by my tone of voice - they still felt like mild menstrual cramps at that point but I'd had some loose bowels (sorry TMI!!), which is what piqued Kris' concern. I told Kris I didn't want everyone to rush over since I thought baby would come much later that evening and last time the excitement of having everyone show up caused my ctx to fade out. Kris told me that she would come by herself and then decide whether to call everyone else, and I said ok but told her not to rush or rearrange her schedule too much. She said she'd finish lunch, stop by the office then head over. My contractions started to get a little more painful so I started to think I would finally be having a baby that evening and went upstairs to start filling my pool so it would be ready. Between contractions I was climbing up on my bathtub connecting the hose to the shower faucet and setting the water temperature, then hopping down to breathe when I had a ctx :-) I started to feel like I needed more "concentration" during the contractions so I called Mike to tell him to come now to watch Caleb, but he was already on the highway (11:30). I called Kris (11:35) and asked her to come sooner since we still couldn't reach the sitter I wanted someone there just to be with me while Mike tended to Caleb until our friend got home or answered her cell phone. I told her I still thought it was a few hours off. The contractions were stronger but not terribly painful yet and I still had no bloody show and was not in "the labor zone" yet. Kris said she was just around the corner from my house - she was apparently just placating me while we were on the phone! That whole time she was acting cool and casual about it she was frantically running about throwing things into her car and had started DRIVING to my house before she hung up! (Can I tell you how much I LOVE Kris!! Thank GOD she didn't believe me!) I realized that I needed to get downstairs to let Kris in since Caleb couldn't unlock the door and Mike wasn't home. Caleb, meanwhile, had been playing downstairs building a fort out of couch pillows and asking me "a-matter mama?", or "ok mama - I kiss it?" when I'd start breathing through a contraction or rubbing my belly. He is such a sweet and sensitive little boy! I opened the front door just as Mike pulled into the garage so I headed to go back upstairs to my pool but was stopped in my tracks by a really intense contraction. Mike came in and I asked him to change Caleb's diaper since he'd pooped and I didn't want our friend to deal with a poopy cloth diaper (WHY I was thinking about that I will NEVER know!), and as Mike was collecting Caleb, Kris arrived (11:40). I had another really intense contraction and got onto my knees on Caleb's pillow fort and put my head onto the couch to breathe through it. Kris came over to rub my back and asked me what I was feeling. I told her the contractions were now really strong and I wanted to get into the pool. Just then another contraction hit and Kris said she'd help me upstairs when this contraction was over if I felt I could make it. I told her that I could and she went to grab her doppler. I had another contraction and my water broke with a huge gush (11:45) - Kris grabbed a throw rug to put under me since all the chux/birth kit supplies were in the bedroom! Kris yelled for Mike to toss down some Chux, get the birth kit and get downstairs to help her. She HAD already called Tracy (the supervising MW) and their assistant right after our first conversation and told them to come right away but neither had arrived yet. I felt Sophie's head drop way down when my water broke and it felt like I was going to split in two if I stayed kneeling/squatting as I was so I told Kris I needed to lie down for just a minute to slow things down a little. I was still fully dressed at this point (since only minutes prior I was just having mild contractions) so Kris helped me pull off my pants before I rolled over onto my back. As I rolled onto my back Kris was able to see Sophie's head nearly crowning! Sophie had passed quite a bit of meconium so Kris tried to get her heart rate but couldn't find it - even when placing the doppler directly onto her head. Mike helped Kris set up the oxygen and put the mask on me to help Sophie's heartrate. Kris told me to push because she needed Sophie out right away but when I got onto my back the contractions DID slow down (as I had initially hoped they would) so I started pushing without any contraction. I pushed maybe 3 times - one or two contractions - and Sophie's head was out. I barely pushed another time and her whole body slid out. Kris immediately put her onto my belly and suctioned her nose/mouth before stimulating her to breathe and was instructing Mike how to unhook the oxygen and get it set up for Sophia while she suctioned her. Sophie started to cry as soon as she was suctioned out and pinked right up with a little blow-by oxygen. Once things calmed down a bit (several minutes after the actual birth) Kris looked at her watch - 11:55AM. Tracy and Angela (our assistant) arrived about 12:10. Once the shock of it wore off for all of us and Sophie was happily nursing, Kris starting apologizing to me saying, "You probably tore because I was just worried about getting her out. I'm so sorry - usually homebirths go so smoothly we rarely stitch anyone" etc. It turned out that I hadn't torn at all even as quickly as she was born! Sophia's cord was left intact until after the placenta was born (in it's own time, maybe 30-40 min after Sophia). We were then helped upstairs to take an herbal bath together.
Caleb was with us for the entire thing since we weren't able to reach our friend. While I was having contractions before anyone arrived he would come up to me and say "uh matter mama?" with this look of concern on his face - it was priceless. When I was on my knees at the couch during the first "big" contraction, Caleb had come up behind me and I felt his hand on my back. I thought he was trying to climb on me to play so I told Mike to get him away - only afterwards did Mike tell me that Caleb was actually RUBBING my back. I still tear up when I think about that - I feel so awful for snapping at him when he was just being sweet :( Caleb was next to Mike for the entire birth - right at my side and watched everything. He just watched intently, though he did get a little scared and cried a bit when she was crowning - probably because I was moaning and he'd never heard those noises before and was scared something was wrong with me. Funny story - when her head was born Caleb exclaimed, "Eew, gwoss" then he asked "mama poop?" - Sophie did have a lot of meconium so it WAS a reasonable assumption on his part :) When her body slid out and she was placed on my belly Caleb just watched in awe. He had the most fantastic look of complete amazement and wonder at the whole thing, then started saying "baby come out". His first look at Sophie once things calmed and he could get closer is a moment I'll forever treasure - thankfully Mike captured his expressions on camera! As much as I'd worried about having him present at the birth I am so thankful that he was there with us and was able to experience his sister's birth first hand. I honestly think that it has helped us stave off a lot of the problems I'd expected we'd encounter and I hope it is something that as an adult he will, if not remember, at least appreciate the fact that he was there and the bond that is between them. As much as my mother in law was afraid he'd somehow be "traumatized", he rarely talks about the birth. The one time he brought it up was that night at our friend's house. She asked him, "Did mommy have your baby sister today?" to which Caleb laid back on the couch, pointed to his groin and said "Baby come out"! I wish I could have seen that! :-)
So, there's the story of how I ended up on the living room floor for Sophie's birth! My entire active labor was less than 30 minutes and less than 10 minutes from water breaking and "hard contractions" to her birth. I didn't have the peaceful waterbirth I'd envisioned but all in all I am thrilled we chose to birth at home and am already certain I want another.
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
And Miss Purple, 5/05
Background - at 37 weeks (5/4) I was 5-6 cm dilated and 80% effaced with mild ctx so given Caleb was a 37 weeker we all thought she'd be born that day or the next. No dice - I had ctx every night for up to 2 hours then they'd stop. The MW had offered to break my water at 38 weeks but I was afraid I'd end up in the hospital for failure to progress. I had my 39 week appointment with my midwife, Kris that morning (5/18) from 9-10 AM. I'd still been having intermittent bouts of contractions 5 minutes apart as I had for 2 weeks, but they were coming in the morning (which was unusual) so I decided to have her check me again. Still 5-6cm, 90% and very stretchy but no progress even with all the contractions. We discussed herbal and homeopathic ways to get things moving and Kris told me to call her if I chose to pick up any of them. Caleb and I went to Target then groery shopping. Part way through Albertson's I started feeling a little queasy - nothing much. My contractions were still coming regularly but not painful - just tightening - so I thought *MAYBE* today is the day but didn't have high hopes given 2 weeks of similar contractions every night! I decided to go home due to the stomach upset just to be "safe". I also called Mike (DH) to let him know that I might be calling him home later. This was around 10:55. In the car I timed the ctx at 4 min apart and maybe 30 sec - nothing too different from what I'd had for 2 weeks but I decided to have Mike come home and call Kris to update her since they hadn't stopped yet. I tried to reach my friend who was going to be Caleb's babysitter to let her know I might need her but couldn't reach her. At 11 I called and told Mike to "start wrapping things up" at work and head home but not to rush too much. I called Kris at 11:10 and told her I was still contracting but they didn't feel "productive" at all, just crampy as they'd been. While we were on the phone she was apparently timing my contractions by my tone of voice - they still felt like mild menstrual cramps at that point but I'd had some loose bowels (sorry TMI!!), which is what piqued Kris' concern. I told Kris I didn't want everyone to rush over since I thought baby would come much later that evening and last time the excitement of having everyone show up caused my ctx to fade out. Kris told me that she would come by herself and then decide whether to call everyone else, and I said ok but told her not to rush or rearrange her schedule too much. She said she'd finish lunch, stop by the office then head over. My contractions started to get a little more painful so I started to think I would finally be having a baby that evening and went upstairs to start filling my pool so it would be ready. Between contractions I was climbing up on my bathtub connecting the hose to the shower faucet and setting the water temperature, then hopping down to breathe when I had a ctx :-) I started to feel like I needed more "concentration" during the contractions so I called Mike to tell him to come now to watch Caleb, but he was already on the highway (11:30). I called Kris (11:35) and asked her to come sooner since we still couldn't reach the sitter I wanted someone there just to be with me while Mike tended to Caleb until our friend got home or answered her cell phone. I told her I still thought it was a few hours off. The contractions were stronger but not terribly painful yet and I still had no bloody show and was not in "the labor zone" yet. Kris said she was just around the corner from my house - she was apparently just placating me while we were on the phone! That whole time she was acting cool and casual about it she was frantically running about throwing things into her car and had started DRIVING to my house before she hung up! (Can I tell you how much I LOVE Kris!! Thank GOD she didn't believe me!) I realized that I needed to get downstairs to let Kris in since Caleb couldn't unlock the door and Mike wasn't home. Caleb, meanwhile, had been playing downstairs building a fort out of couch pillows and asking me "a-matter mama?", or "ok mama - I kiss it?" when I'd start breathing through a contraction or rubbing my belly. He is such a sweet and sensitive little boy! I opened the front door just as Mike pulled into the garage so I headed to go back upstairs to my pool but was stopped in my tracks by a really intense contraction. Mike came in and I asked him to change Caleb's diaper since he'd pooped and I didn't want our friend to deal with a poopy cloth diaper (WHY I was thinking about that I will NEVER know!), and as Mike was collecting Caleb, Kris arrived (11:40). I had another really intense contraction and got onto my knees on Caleb's pillow fort and put my head onto the couch to breathe through it. Kris came over to rub my back and asked me what I was feeling. I told her the contractions were now really strong and I wanted to get into the pool. Just then another contraction hit and Kris said she'd help me upstairs when this contraction was over if I felt I could make it. I told her that I could and she went to grab her doppler. I had another contraction and my water broke with a huge gush (11:45) - Kris grabbed a throw rug to put under me since all the chux/birth kit supplies were in the bedroom! Kris yelled for Mike to toss down some Chux, get the birth kit and get downstairs to help her. She HAD already called Tracy (the supervising MW) and their assistant right after our first conversation and told them to come right away but neither had arrived yet. I felt Sophie's head drop way down when my water broke and it felt like I was going to split in two if I stayed kneeling/squatting as I was so I told Kris I needed to lie down for just a minute to slow things down a little. I was still fully dressed at this point (since only minutes prior I was just having mild contractions) so Kris helped me pull off my pants before I rolled over onto my back. As I rolled onto my back Kris was able to see Sophie's head nearly crowning! Sophie had passed quite a bit of meconium so Kris tried to get her heart rate but couldn't find it - even when placing the doppler directly onto her head. Mike helped Kris set up the oxygen and put the mask on me to help Sophie's heartrate. Kris told me to push because she needed Sophie out right away but when I got onto my back the contractions DID slow down (as I had initially hoped they would) so I started pushing without any contraction. I pushed maybe 3 times - one or two contractions - and Sophie's head was out. I barely pushed another time and her whole body slid out. Kris immediately put her onto my belly and suctioned her nose/mouth before stimulating her to breathe and was instructing Mike how to unhook the oxygen and get it set up for Sophia while she suctioned her. Sophie started to cry as soon as she was suctioned out and pinked right up with a little blow-by oxygen. Once things calmed down a bit (several minutes after the actual birth) Kris looked at her watch - 11:55AM. Tracy and Angela (our assistant) arrived about 12:10. Once the shock of it wore off for all of us and Sophie was happily nursing, Kris starting apologizing to me saying, "You probably tore because I was just worried about getting her out. I'm so sorry - usually homebirths go so smoothly we rarely stitch anyone" etc. It turned out that I hadn't torn at all even as quickly as she was born! Sophia's cord was left intact until after the placenta was born (in it's own time, maybe 30-40 min after Sophia). We were then helped upstairs to take an herbal bath together.
Caleb was with us for the entire thing since we weren't able to reach our friend. While I was having contractions before anyone arrived he would come up to me and say "uh matter mama?" with this look of concern on his face - it was priceless. When I was on my knees at the couch during the first "big" contraction, Caleb had come up behind me and I felt his hand on my back. I thought he was trying to climb on me to play so I told Mike to get him away - only afterwards did Mike tell me that Caleb was actually RUBBING my back. I still tear up when I think about that - I feel so awful for snapping at him when he was just being sweet :( Caleb was next to Mike for the entire birth - right at my side and watched everything. He just watched intently, though he did get a little scared and cried a bit when she was crowning - probably because I was moaning and he'd never heard those noises before and was scared something was wrong with me. Funny story - when her head was born Caleb exclaimed, "Eew, gwoss" then he asked "mama poop?" - Sophie did have a lot of meconium so it WAS a reasonable assumption on his part :) When her body slid out and she was placed on my belly Caleb just watched in awe. He had the most fantastic look of complete amazement and wonder at the whole thing, then started saying "baby come out". His first look at Sophie once things calmed and he could get closer is a moment I'll forever treasure - thankfully Mike captured his expressions on camera! As much as I'd worried about having him present at the birth I am so thankful that he was there with us and was able to experience his sister's birth first hand. I honestly think that it has helped us stave off a lot of the problems I'd expected we'd encounter and I hope it is something that as an adult he will, if not remember, at least appreciate the fact that he was there and the bond that is between them. As much as my mother in law was afraid he'd somehow be "traumatized", he rarely talks about the birth. The one time he brought it up was that night at our friend's house. She asked him, "Did mommy have your baby sister today?" to which Caleb laid back on the couch, pointed to his groin and said "Baby come out"! I wish I could have seen that! :-)
So, there's the story of how I ended up on the living room floor for Sophie's birth! My entire active labor was less than 30 minutes and less than 10 minutes from water breaking and "hard contractions" to her birth. I didn't have the peaceful waterbirth I'd envisioned but all in all I am thrilled we chose to birth at home and am already certain I want another.
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
And Miss Purple, 5/05