Are you a lurker?

[vikivoly]

All of the lurker comments and posts got me wondering just how many lurkers there are on this board. Since you're not likely to respond to a post if you're a lurker, I'm hoping you'll at least respond to a poll. :)

Answer the question with regards to how you view yourself, not how you think the board views you. Also, it doesn't matter if you have kids of your own or not, respond solely on the way you use this board.

Thanks

[himom]

I have no idea what category I'd fall into, but I've moved up and down the spectrum.

I started reading in mid-2002, mostly in the baby gear forums, just checking out questions that the other pregnant mamas were asking. They asked great questions, usually the same kind of stuff I was wondering about, so I just read and got lots of info. After a while I began to feel like I "knew" so many people, but I hadn't even signed in yet. I signed up shortly before DS came along (Jan 2003), and mostly posted questions since I really wasn't in a place to give any advice.

So, I've been active for 2 1/2 years but I only have 600 posts. However, I read here every day, generally checking in 2 or 3 times a day. I don't have a lot of time to read and post to everything, so it's fair to say I read much, much more than I can respond to. I do write when I have something to say that hasn't already been said or if I really want to emphasize (or sympathize with) something. I usually only read the first page showing in the lounge as DS demands my attention pretty quickly when he sees me on the computer. I also start the occasional thread.

What category that puts me in, I do not know. Semi-regular?

[VClute]

I post a little, but not nearly in keeping with the amount that I read. So I put that I don't think I'm a lurker, but I wouldn't consider myself a regular, either. I don't think anyone would notice if I went on vacation, for example, and I don't think anyone would notice if I had a new signature line.

When I post, I try to think of word economy. Am I REALLY adding anything to the conversation here? Sometimes I throw that out the window if I'm really interested in a topic and I'm just saying, "me, too!" And I try to search before asking questions, too.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[amp]

Ummmm...no.

6000+ posts tell me I'm not at all a lurker and am here waaaaaay more than I ever dreamed I'd be! DH can't figure out how a person can post that much!

ETA: Egads, I'm quickly approaching 6500!

ETAA: To me, a lurker is someone who's been a member for a long time, but I don't recognize them at all. As I said, I'm here a LOT! And FWIW, both the previous posters here I recognize easily. Not lurkers IMO. And neither are half the people I've "recognized" wondering if they are.

[hobey]

I feel (and voted) the same way. Since I'm a WOHM, I usually only have time during lunch to check in and only post when I feel I have something to contribute that has not been said previously.

I also try to search before asking questions since it's a minor pet peeve of mine to see the same question over and over though it has been addressed before.

Raquel
Nathan's Mom 12/19/03

[BethS]

I read a lot but only post occasionally. I tend to go in spurts with my posting but now that I have two under two I'm reading a lot less than before, too. Generally I post if I have a question or see something that I've experienced and feel I can be of help.

I'd love to post regularly and contribute more to the community but I get "sucked in" so easily that I'd likely never get anything done.

FWIW, I totally understand how some regulars feel about the number of lurkers.

[kelly ann]

With all this lurker talk, I am sure there are many out there wondering if they are a lurker now even though they feel like they post and are part of the community. And unfortunately, the word lurker does not give people the warm fuzzies. Maybe there are true lurkers, but there are also members who are shy about online chat (just like they may be shy IRL)

IMHO, if one feels like they post and offer info on a regular basis then they should not feel like they are lurkers - even if they only have a hundred posts a year.

[bonbon98]

Definitely a lurker! If I do post, it's usually a coupon link/code in RL or in Bargains.

Bonny
Mom to E&E 5/7/02

[LaurelC]

I am totally a lurker! As you can see by my join date and post count, I really haven't posted much at all.

I do lurk quite a bit - I read the posts on this site several times per week.

[brubeck]

It depends on the forum. I post mostly now in Bargain Alert and Reality Layette, but I 'lurk' on Bitching Post and the Lounge.

I'm medium level (part lurk, part post) in the Toddler Boards.

[starrynight]

I'm a lounge regular and car seats but everywhere else I pop in here and there and post. I stick mostly to the lounge though!

I define "regular" as not only by amount of posts but if many people recognize you. Obviously if you have a lot of posts that makes you a regular too.

[sidmand]

I put myself in the middle too. I do a lot of reading of posts because I am on the computer a lot for work (may be changing with a little one though). I post if I feel I can add something, but often the question has been answered better than I could answer it! Or there's nothing much more I feel I can add. So I've been on the boards awhile too (off and on though), but don't have too many posts to show for it.

Debbie

Mom to Sawyer!
http://lilypie.com/baby1/060607/0/3/1/-5/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[mudder17]

But I definitely don't see you as a lurker since I recognize you (and Sawyer). :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 16 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[elephantmeg]

I've read posts religiously since January or so, just joined so I could post, I guess since I don't have children yet I've just been accumulating information here! I've read so many that I feel like I "know" a lot of the people here.

Margaret
expecting #1 edd: 2-13-2006

[mcdonald29]

I agree that "lurker" has negative conotations a bit. Like many previous posters, I try to search first if I have a question and rarely feel I have anythig new to add to the conversation. Almost every day I find myself telling DH about discussions on the boards and frequently use your recommendations (I read a couple of new daily blogs thanks to a recent topic). I haven't been able to post for a few months due to moving and browser issues, but thanks to The Fields I'm back via Firefox. Probably the main reason I post infrequently is b/c DS magically seems to demand my undivided attention as soon as I start typing on the keyboard!

Strangely enough, it seems like we are all on the same wavelength: questions or topics applicable to my current life often pop up at the same time, such as house cleanliness, front loading washers, TC on Oprah, buying DS a kitchen. This is sort of like a talk show, but w/o having the TV on w/DS around! I always check the Lounge, sometimes bitching post and bargains, but have to stay out of strollers and diaper bags or I'd have even more of both around the house!

As I mentioned above, we just relocated, so thanks to you all for being my current baby girlfriends!

[phirey]

I answered in the sort of category. I've been on here almost three years and have only 300 some odd posts. ETA: Oooooh! Check it out! This one is actually my 350th! Ooooh!

But I read the boards every day, usually for hours. Enough so that DH gets annoyed with it, and even knows some of your names. I have NO IDEA how some of you can hit 1000 posts, much less 6000! So I'm regular, but probably not known to many of you...

[linsei]

I can't agree more. I've been coming to this board at least once daily (usually much more), since before my son was born, and I'm ceartain no one here would notice if I dropped off the face of the earth!

I post when I feel like I have something to contribute, if I can help out in some way, or if I have a question that I can't find the answer. I honestly do not feel comfortable posting personal info, especially pics, because this is definately not a private place. I really feel like I know the people here, at least the people that post, even if its only occasionally! Many of you have voiced concerns about strangers obtaining the information that you have posted, and this is precisely the reason I do not post as much as I would if it were a more secure environment.

Linda



http://lilypie.com/baby2/040428/1/5/1/-5/.png[/img][/url]

[emilyr]

As you can see, I am definitely a lurker. However, I feel that though it does have a negative connotation, I am here so sporadically and usually don't want to respond to a post that is days or even weeks old, I am doing everyone a favor! If something comes up that I feel I have a positive contribution or idea that has not been discussed, I will respond but only if it is a newer post. I have asked a few questions and sought advice and feel that I "know" most of you. I realize that statement may cause a little concern from some "regulars"; however, I also know that I would NEVER use information that I read here (or anywhere!) in a harmful manner.

Emily

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

honestly...

not trying to give anyone comfort etc... for I think we each have to decide for ourselves how to handle our comfort level. I've yet to figure mine out...

While I have some amazing friendships on this board I email back and forth with people VERY LITTLE just due to time which is why sometimes it easier for me to just post and communicate that way. But I have a BBB friendship from someone who up until recently was not even registered...and I have no doubt that if she lived next door we'd be buds for life...


Neve
Reichen (6), Karsh (3), Tristan (2) and baby girl Bronwyn born March 10th!!!!

[aliceinwonderland]

Why should someone sign up and post (or even resond to a poll) when they can just lurk and read everything (without signing up, so they could not, even if they were inclined to, answer the poll).

[sidmand]

Thanks Eileen! I do feel like a lurker sometimes, but I do try to post when I can and have something to offer.

Debbie

Mom to Sawyer!
http://lilypie.com/baby1/060607/0/3/1/-5/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[molly]

I am totally a lurker and not really sure why I don't post more, probably a mixture of shyness and lack of time. I'd say I check these boards several times a week. If i get the chance to veg out on the computer, I read emails, check this board, and check out things online that I want to buy! I found this website after buying the book and I found the book after my husband had read the Fields' book on building or buying a house one. I initially came here looking for what kind of stroller to buy I think and I always do searches when I have questions about something parenting related. I've often felt guilty for not posting on some threads because I have found so much helpful advice here and I would like to do the same for others. The responses I got on the Feeding Forum are what kept me from throwing in the towel when I was having trouble nursing my DD!! However, I have always been one of those people that says things without thinking and then ends up sounding and feeling really stupid, (in real life, not here) and so I guess I am always editing myself to the point where I end up not posting because I think, well, someone's going to think your a complete idiot! Now, it never occurred to me that it was creepy for me to be reading and not responding regularly, but now that I'm aware of the way some might see this, I will definitely try to post more - if you only knew how much time it is taking me to write this you would completely understand why I don't do this more often!

molly
mom to william and emma

[hez]

Oh, Molly-- don't edit yourself that much, and don't feel bad about starting slowly. I felt/feel the exact same way about coming off as sounding like an idiot and I'm learning to get over it ;) I started out lurking quite a bit (especially in Feeding, as well) and I still "lurk" in lots of places (especially when I'm looking for info on a stroller or a toy or what the heck to put on Payton's XW feet).

I'm sure you (and anyone else who doesn't post often yet) have a lot to offer to the Boards!

[VickiH]

I agree that "lurker" sounds negative - how about "reader" instead?

I guess based on how the regulars define lurker, I would be one. Oh well......Like the other previuous posters, if I find what I need, or if I don't have anything to contribute to a post, then I don't say anything. I also work full-time, so I don't get too much time to post...it's a lot faster to read. I also feel like sometimes I'm intruding, kind of like someone at a party who doesn't really know anyone else.

I am sorry if the regulars are bothered or worried by lurkers - I hope I am not offending anyone by saying that.

Vicki
Mommy to Michael, 10/2/02

[jasabo]

I consider myself a regular b/c I log on every day (usually WAY too many times every day, when I should be doing laundry or cleaning something), but I don't post as often as many others mostly due to lack of time, so I guess I fall somewhere in between.

Right now, I use the board primarily for the "social" interaction in the Lounge. But before my boys were born, and when they were much younger, I used it as a resource for buying most of our baby supplies. Now that they're older, we don't seem need to buy as much :( ahhhh...I miss those big shopping trips ;)

Lisa - mom to 2 yr old twin boys

[McQ]

I edited a lot at first too. I'd type things that I would think were funny but after a second read I worried that people wouldn't "get" me. Then Maureen posted worrying about sounding like she had a stick up her butt and I thought she was crazy since she's one of the funniest gals around. So then I let my hair down. Just be yourself and do what's comfortable to you.

I consider myself a regular, although I post less than I used to now that I have 2 kiddos. I always wondered how someone could have 1000+ posts. But now I know :)

Allison
~ mama to Declan and Meghan

[mysweetboy]

I'm on BBB quite a bit but don't post nearly as often. Sometimes I just don't have the time (I just can't whip out what I want to say so I edit quite a bit) and sometimes I just don't feel up to typing (lazy!). But I always want to know how everyone here is doing, so I'm here much more often than it would appear by the number of my posts. So basically I don't consider myself a lurker but not quite a regular either....yet. :)

Lori
mommy to Charlie, 5/04
and a sweet baby girl due 10/05!

[pl71]

I'm definately a lurker. I read lots but have few posts. This board is great for researching products, and the lounge and bitching forums are very entertaining. I don't post much because reading is much faster than writing, since I read at work I don't have a lot of time. In the last month I've posted more than I have in ages because I'm home on maternity leave.

Patty
DS Owen 4-10-03
Ryan 5-25-05

[thomma]

"I am," she says sheepishly!
I have learned a ton of stuff since finding this board 2 years ago. I use the search function a lot which is how I end up in the lounge. I usually read RL and bargains. I've always been hesitant to post because I tend to be sarcastic and that doesn't "sound" well online. Also, I have 2 year old twins and work - time is not something I have a lot of. I usually only have time to find what I want or need to know.

The ironic thing is that I teach 2nd grade and am constantly telling my students to participate and join in the discussion.

Kim

Oh, and I didn't vote...don't want to be the only one in the first category.

[SummerBaby]

All this lurking discussion has got me paranoid as to whether I'm a "lurker." When I was pg, I used to read once in a while before I got up the nerve to post. Even though I do post a few times a week now (mostly in the Lounge and RL), I usually only respond if I feel I can contribute to the discussion, or if I have a question I don't think has been answered. (ETA- I'm usually pressed for time at work.)

So even though I have been posting more frequently in the past couple months, I don't think people "know" me. Does that make me a lurker? I hope I'm not one of the "new people" who started all this! I really like to be able to "socialize" here!

Val
Mom to Madeline
7/28/04

[nov04]

I average a post every 2 days going by numbers but I've been much more active since my and dd's health issues settled down (starting last September when I was put on mod. bedrest and we resolved other stuff ending in May).

I would say I'm neither lurker nor regular. I would be surprised if someone noticed me or remembered me when I didn't post often. I am much more active on another board so although this site is awesome, the other one is my "home".

I post mostly in the bitching post, lounge or strollers, sometimes in feeding baby

[Alys the Cat]

Hmmm...I considered a *lurker* to be someone who just read and didn't post at all. But I post so little that I suppose the regulars would think of me as prime lurker material!

This board is a wonderful resource for me. I read almost daily, but tend to research stuff rather than ask duplicative questions. I'd also be reluctant to post any pics of my family because I just don't think this is a safe environment.

I feel like I know many of you well, based on what you share here. However, with just one kiddo, I rarely feel "expert" enough to contribute. And I must confess that it can be a little intimidating to join in with the regulars.

[Marisa6826]

Kim-

There are MANY of us with dark, sarcastic senses of humour.

PLEASE join in!!!!

;)

-m

[CBB]

I voted for number 3. I don't post very often because I'm always afraid of saying something stupid. I have learned tremendous amount of information from this board and am very thankful of all the mommas here. A lot of times I just don't feel that I have much to contribute -- excuses, excuses...

[Jenmv]

I would consider myself a lurker. I really only had time to post while I was on maternity leave but after I went back to work and DD got older I found myself with very little time to post. Having said that I still read the board several times a week. I have learned so many things from this board that I would have never heard of before and am grateful for the variety of opinion and experience that can be found here. I think I echo what some other lurkers have said in that I so infrequently post that sometimes even when I do feel like responding to a topic I feel a little like an outsider stepping in on a conversation and that stops me from posting. I hope that made sense. I also have a tendency to be a little sarcastic and outspoken and am leary of how that translates on-line. FWIW this is the only board I bother "lurking" on a regular basis. :)

[LMac]

Gosh,it's been so long since I have replied to a post that I had no idea if this would even work! : )
And I'm dying to see if the avatar I had created still works...it's probably a good 1.5 years old.

I was the first one to reply to the first poll option. I'm so sorry if the regulars that do post are nervous about the potential number of lurkers here.

I read this board literally on a daily basis for almost 3 years - even before "joining"! But as you can see, have very very few posts. I started coming here searching for strollers (found my Zippy thanks to the board!)and have learned soooooooooooo much...and bought sooooooooooooo much too! : )

I have a few reasons for not posting....the big one is time...I have a few boards I frequent, both as a lurker and as a frequent contributor, added to my general emails from friends and family all over, and my misc. other sites I visit daily (EBay, CNN.com, Pink is the new Blog - found that one from here! LOVE IT!). I sit down at my son's nap time and before I know it, 2 hours have gone by!

I have been visiting the toddler forum a lot (my son is 26 months) and was actually thinking of introducing myself and starting to post there. I also feel somewhat strange about just jumping in, so I have been comfortable to just hang back and read. Like I said, I have learned so much from all the wonderful moms on this board, and have silently shared in your pain and rejoiced with you in your joys.

This board is fantastic! But also dangerous too...all this talk of digital cameras has made me want to replace ours with a new one! LOL!

ANd see...here's another reason I can't start posting...I love to talk and my posts are always so long.... I want to reply and talk forever on every post! :)
Lara

[pl71]

This board is fantastic! But also dangerous too...all this talk of digital cameras has made me want to replace ours with a new one! LOL!


Boy do I agree with that statement!!!

Patty

[nathansmom]

Usually when I'm looking here I have at least 2 kids in my lap asleep. I don't have hands to type so I lurk. Mainly to see how my friends are here are doing. If I'm lucky like today and everyone but me is sleeping in I have time to post.

Looking at the drama going on here (not this post but I get an overall feeling) that lurkers aren't welcome so I may need to leave this board.

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

ITA Nora!
Unless you spend all day in front of the computer here, no one even bothers to chat with you in the lounge.
I think the majority of us feel like lurkers, because we are not made to feel welcome.

[aliceinwonderland]

I have deleted many a post of mine for that very reason. And my last post has been the kiss of death for a few threads too that have been locked for that reason. Rightly so, as these boards are meant to be supportive, etc. but I can't help myself sometimes.

I find myself posting less and less for this very reason.

e.

[billysmommy]

I guess I would fall into the "sort of" category. I go through spurts when I post alot and then have gone a month or more without posting at all. I usually try to read the boards a couple of times a week at least, more if I have the chance. Otherwise I feel like when I actually do come back to post I just can't catch up.

I definately lurk in butts, I'm trying to learn all I can about cd's and I can usually find the answers to my questions by searching so I haven't really felt the need to post yet there.

[eb1]

I read more than I post, which probably labels me as a lurker to some. However, I think of lurkers as people who read and never (or almost never) post, so *I* don't consider myself a lurker.

There are a lot of reasons I don't post as much as I read, but I don't think you were asking about that. :)

[nov04]

Speaking about feeling unwelcome: I barely post in particular forum because there's a distinct concentration of moms who do things a certain way (differently than I do although I would give anything to have done it their way, I tried so hard).

Frequently, when there's a question related to how I parent, the other moms respond w/ something negative. The thing that bothers me the most is that these moms have no experience whatsoever w/ this method of parenting. Why bother responding and making the op feel like what they're doing is inferior (rhetorical question)??? All they wanted was support and information.

[mommd]

I agree on the not feeling welcome part. I guess I'm sort of a lurker now, in that I don't have a lot of time to be on the computer anymore like I did when I was staying at home. When I feel like I have something to add to the discussion, I participate. Honestly I don't know what we are supposed to do. If we post a question that's been asked a million times people say "why don't you use the search feature" but if we search for answers and therefore don't post a lot, it's "why don't you post more?"

I used to feel like part of this community, like I had friends here. But now with so many people leaving and forming different boards and stuff, I just don't get the same warm and fuzzy feeling you know? I have received amazing support here when I needed it, and I try to give support when it's needed, but I really think no one would care if I stopped posting all together, and that makes me really sad. :(

[redhookmom]

I don't know what I am. I sure do visit the boards but only post on maybe 20% of the threads I read. So I do more reading then posting.

[jbowman]

To Norah, Valerie, Jos, and Renee,

Hugs! It makes me sad to read your posts :(, although I understand how you feel. Sometimes it's hard to feel as if people "hear" you when you post--sometimes I'll write something and wonder, "is anyone out there, LOL?"

And Renee, I love hearing about life in you-know-where and I want to hear how you did on your exam, so I would definitely miss you if you stopped posting!

And to answer the original question--I am definitely not a "lurker," but I am trying to become one :). I think *I* post too much, LOL!

[mamicka]

Unfortunately, sometimes I feel this way as well. I see this board as so helpful & supportive at times, & then quite unwelcoming at others. Besides being busy with a toddler & now a newborn, I'm just not very chatty. I don't see people with more posts than me as automatically more a part of this community. I see myself as very much a regular but have been accused of being a lurker & a 'newbie' after being here for over a year.

ETA: subject line

[Sarah1]

I don't see why any of this matters. Truly. Not to dis the poll or anything.

[Sarah1]

>Unless you spend all day in front of the computer here, no one
>even bothers to chat with you in the lounge.
>I think the majority of us feel like lurkers, because we are
>not made to feel welcome.

Really? That is so sad! I think you may be overthinking things.

[lvales]

I'm sort of a lurker. I'm shy irl so I don't tend to involve myself in conversations with people I don't know. I tend to stick to answering questions that haven't already been answered, and asking questions. I don't want to clutter up the boards with a "me too" post - it's a waste of bandwidth.

Linda

ETA - I just checked to see when I registered - Feb 2005. I started reading these boards before my first m/c back in 2003, and didn't feel 'comfortable' enough to post until 2005. So you can see it takes me a while to get involved!

[Vajrastorm]

Neither does reading more than you post.

Can you imagine if everyone who ever read a post felt like they had to respond? Server crash! Not to mention boring.

A lurker is someone who never (or almost never) posts. 2 posts might make you a lurker, but at 50? Not in my book. A 50 posts you are not a lurking.

I feel sad to see so many people feeling like they don't belong. To heck with alternate boards and the like. Post when and if you feel moved. There is nothing to prove. I love reading posts by new members and "visiting" old ones.

[Sarah1]

>I feel sad to see so many people feeling like they don't
>belong. To heck with alternate boards and the like. Post when
>and if you feel moved. There is nothing to prove. I love
>reading posts by new members and "visiting" old ones.

Andrie, these are my thoughts exactly--you just expressed them much better than I did! :)

[nov04]

>Unless you spend all day in front of the computer here, no one
>even bothers to chat with you in the lounge.
>I think the majority of us feel like lurkers, because we are
>not made to feel welcome.

>>Really? That is so sad! I think you may be overthinking things.

I'm trying to be extra diplomatic here, but I don't think comments like this would make Valerie (and others like myself) feel more welcome, they might even have the opposite effect.

[nathansmom]

Your right it shouldn't but the tone of the boards lately has (to me I don't know about others) been lets ban the lurkers.

Just testing something to see if it works here. Trying again to see if it works.
http://mystudio.kiddiekandids.com/scratch/GTGRUKISDFYMHA8U-EABNT.jpg


http://mystudio.kiddiekandids.com/scratch/GTGRUKISDFYMHA8U-STDD3.jpg

http://mystudio.kiddiekandids.com/scratch/GTGRUKISDFYMHA8U-5SJDB.jpg

[saalmc]

Yes, I definitely am, although I prefer the term "reader" :)
I've been coming here for a couple of years, off and on, to research strollers and cloth diapers. I just recently (past 12 months or so) began coming to the lounge. I first came to the site when I was married and my husband and I were getting ready to ttc. Unfortunately we divorced soon after. It was just habit to come here at that point and I figure I will still learn useful information for the future. I don't post much (ok, at all!) as I have felt so awkward about it- it's kind of hard to become part of the group when you are single and childless!

I can't wait to have kids so that I have more to talk about with all of you. In the meantime, I will continue reading and learning and maybe I will find an opportunity to jump into the conversation.

Sara

[Sarah1]

>>Unless you spend all day in front of the computer here, no
>one
>>even bothers to chat with you in the lounge.
>>I think the majority of us feel like lurkers, because we are
>>not made to feel welcome.
>
>>>Really? That is so sad! I think you may be overthinking
>things.
>
>I'm trying to be extra diplomatic here, but I don't think
>comments like this would make Valerie (and others like myself)
>feel more welcome, they might even have the opposite effect.

Oh my gosh! It was totally, utterly not at all my intention to offend anyone! All I'm saying is, I feel sad for anyone who feels alienated by coming to these boards, because who needs that??? I guess I just have never looked at the boards in that way. We're all busy and just looking to unwind, relax, vent, whatever...when I said I thought maybe you (edited to correct--Valerie) were overthinking things, I truly meant it in a nice way, because who needs the added stress of not feeling welcome in an online community?. Anyway, I'm sorry. I really was only trying to help.

[Corie]

I am also extremely sarcastic. Many people IRL still
cannot read me and what I am saying.

My sister is the same way and we just crack each other up!

You are right though about sarcastic comments online! I
try to watch myself and what I say. It doesn't come across
the way it should and people get all up in arms!

You'd feel right at home in my house!!

[candybomiller]

Renee,

I, for one, would miss you a LOT if you stopped posting. I don't consider you a lurker at all. I loved meeting you in Chicago, and really looked forward to getting to know you better. *snort* So much for the best laid plans... ;)

[JLiebCamm]

Eri,
Posting less and less???? I just noticed that you're heading towards 1000 posts since you rejoined at the end of May! :)

I always enjoy your posts, especially the contoversial ones.

[nov04]

It's nice to know that totally wasn't your intention. :)

[Marisa6826]

Jos-

I don't know if you're referring to FF vs. BF, but I know that's a big bone of contention in one of the forums. It's the only one that I can think of off the top of my head.

I've had some run ins with a few more, um, militant BF members. I think that these people are in the minority rather than majority here. I don't think there are members here that are intentionally malicious, although I know some can come off that way.

I completely feel for you. I have been in your shoes. I really, truly hope don't leave. If you would like to talk more, please PM me.

hugs

-m

[mudder17]

Please don't leave us again! I LOVE your posts and have really enjoyed getting to know you, sarcastic humor and all! :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 16 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[lisams]

OMG Norah, look at those boys!!!! You have got to stick around and show off these handsome fellas! I love hearing updates on how things are going from you.

Honestly I don't think it matters much what my "status" is here! I just like coming here, it's my break away from toddlerhood (even though I end up "talking" about it, lol)

No matter what other boards are set up, there will always be awesome moms (and dads, aunties, grandmas) here who are willing to share advice, offer a shoulder and be there when you need them. There will always be lurkers, there always has been and always will be. I was one of them over 3 years ago when we were TTC for over a year. I found comfort researching baby gear during those hard times.

Please stay!! I would miss you if you went away.

Lisa

[nathansmom]

I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures. Now I need to remember to take them down in a few days. My favorite one is the one of Zach by himself.

Also thanks for your kind words. I hope I didn't come off as mean I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'd miss you too if you left.

[nov04]

thank you for responding :) I've pm'd you.

[mudder17]

First, I agree with Andrie. It shouldn't matter if you're a lurker or not--you should have every right to read these boards. The only thing I would care about is if someone was purposely posting only to give misleading or hurtful information. IMO, most lurkers don't do that, and should have every right to lurk. Oh, and for me, lurker did not have a negative connotation, or at least it did before this thread. I enjoy reading these boards because I find all sorts of information I would otherwise have not known, it helps me stay clued in to important news (because admittedly I don't watch much TV news or read the newspaper), and I've managed to make a lot of good friends. Admittedly, I've been reading the lounge less lately and staying more in feeding or butts, but no matter what, I do TRY to be positive and supportive with all my posts.

Secondly, Norah, your boys are super precious! I love this picture! Thanks for sharing it! I hope diapering is going better for you these days!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 16 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[nathansmom]

http://a9.cpimg.com/image/21/8D/49874209-b522-00550080-.jpg

http://a0.cpimg.com/image/22/8D/49874210-1dc9-00800055-.jpg

http://a1.cpimg.com/image/23/8D/49874211-5299-00800055-.jpg

http://a2.cpimg.com/image/24/8D/49874212-bcbe-00550080-.jpg

http://a4.cpimg.com/image/26/8D/49874214-dbea-00550080-.jpg

http://a4.cpimg.com/image/30/8D/49874224-ce9c-0080005B-.jpg

Someone remind me to delete these in a few days.

[nov04]

Oh, what beautiful babies you have!!!!!

[lisams]

Thanks :-)

You didn't sound mean at all, I think your concerns are very valid (and I'm sure you're not the only one thinking them).

The boys are growing so fast! Pretty soon we're going to need a Preschooler Bargains Board!!

Lisa

[deborah_r]

Norah!!! Those boys are gorgeous!!!

[mudder17]

Oh Norah, they are such sweethearts! Nathan looks like such a wonderful older brother! You and your boys are often in my thoughts and prayers! I look forward to future updates and the occasional pictures. :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 16 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[starrynight]

What handsome boys!! I love the pics Norah!!!

I don't see you as a lurker at all, you are well known around here and when you have the time to post you are legitimate. You aren't lying about having kids and you aren't trolling. You are a busy mama with 3 young kids, obviously you don't have much time to post!

[billysmommy]

Norah
Your boys are gorgeous :) They are so expressive in the pictures

[laretce6]

OMG Norah they are so beautiful. What a blessing they must be in your life. FWIW I consider you a "regular" who is just a crazy busy mama right now.

Caroline
Mama to Eleanor Katherine 8.2.04

[HannaAddict]

Oh Norah! They are soooooo cute. I'm so glad I glanced at this post. Too cute. I really can't believe how big they all are, where does the time go. Thanks for posting.

Kimberly
DS 3/18/04

[DDowning]

Norah, your boys are just gorgeous!!!

[mommd]

Candy

I PM'd you!

[mommd]

OMG! They are adorable! Awesome pictures!!!

[Janeinnyc]

I guess I'd be considered lurker. I tend to post only if I have a question or if I think I have something helpful or relevant to add. I'm pretty quiet both in person and over the internet I suppose! I enjoy reading the posts though - they've helped me make a lot of decisions about what to get and do for my baby. A few times I learned things I don't think I ever would have learned otherwise (such as leaving my child rearfacing in the carseat for as long as possible rather than at one year old!)

Jane

[marinkitty]

Well, I consider myself a regular though I am not a prolific poster. I've been coming to the boards for two and a half years or so, and am just now nearing 1000 posts. I don't know how some (like Andrea - woman, you are a machine!) have 5,000 plus posts, clearly managing their lives more efficiently than I for no one here would eat or get bathed if I posted as much!

I was definitely a lurker for a few months when I first found the BBB, using it mostly for research, then a very occasional poster and now I post more often, but still relatively little compared to many (these days mainly due to one handed typing).

But for me, I found myself feeling like I *knew* various people and realized no one could say the same for me. Since making a larger effort to post, I feel like I get so much from this community. It used to be about baby products, now it is about friendships, sharing being a mother and is one of my most important lines to the outside world.


Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03) and baby brother Jack (3.23.05)

[aliceinwonderland]

it certainly does not seem like "less and less", huh? LOL

I post the same amount I guess, but I'm making a consciencious effort to stay on the safe side, you know, babies and all ;)

e.

[amp]

>Well, I consider myself a regular though I am not a prolific
>poster. I've been coming to the boards for two and a half
>years or so, and am just now nearing 1000 posts. I don't know
>how some (like Andrea - woman, you are a machine!) have 5,000
>plus posts, clearly managing their lives more efficiently than
>I for no one here would eat or get bathed if I posted as
>much!

Holly - Don't give me too much credit. I never said we eat or bathe around here! :P

See, this is why I have over 6000 posts. Because I feel *compelled* to post and put my 2 cents in, even when it's not needed. This follows IRL as well. Just ask my DH!

[jk3]

They are adorable! Thanks for sharing the pictures.


Jenn
DS 6/3/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

My point exactly....
I'm not in front of the computer all day, and when I do post this is the type of comment I get.

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

Thank you, that was so sweet.

[nathansmom]

I'm glad you like them. I need to update everyone on how the kids are doing but I just never seem to have the time.

[mudder17]

Well, with a toddler and two infants, no wonder you don't have time! We look forward to your updates when you can, but spend as much time as you want with your kiddos in these early years. :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 16 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[ribbit1019]

I'd say I am a regular but more in Butts and the Lounge than anywhere else. I lurk frequently in feeding, car seats, Going places diaper bags, carriers. A lot of that is research though for a my business. ;) I used to lurk in RL but I feel like I can't keep up, with the amount of posts there and the clothes, I just can't afford the clothes.... Though I love looking at them. Removing temptation by stopping the frequent visits to RL was my solution.
I always feel bad lurking in feeding, because that is where I got so much help while beginning to nurse DD.
But I have to say that I did get in trouble for my adherance to standards here at work last month, so I may be around a bit less this month... Wait, who am I kidding, I am doing it right now, typing and not talking to the many disgruntled parents here in Cuyahoga County, OH, lol.
Plus if everything is a go with kiddo #2 (Please?) I won't be here at work after Feb anyway... WAHM, I will be yes!

Christy
Maddy - binkie free as of 6/28/05

http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Grow Baby Grow!
http://lilypie.com/days/060301/4/0/0/-5/.png

[pamela mom of 3]

At one time i was a "regular" on strollers now i suppose one would say i'm more of a "lurker" i've been a member for a long time{actually a charter under my original name} so i continue to read i like to see what's going on but my ability to speak along very often is just not there anymore.

[zuzu]

I'm glad I got to see these before you deleted them! They boys are adorable, and look so happy. :)

I sent you an email - please let me know if you don't get it.

Melissa, mom to Sarah (5/03)

[Hallie_D]

I read much more than I post, for several reasons. First, I am often looking for information, and if I find it, I don't start a new thread. Another reason is that I work and read the boards while I pump or eat lunch as a mental break from my job (but I have trouble typing while pumping so I often just read). And sometimes I just feel like my $.02 isn't going to add anything to a particular discussion, even though I found value in reading it.

Does that make me a lurker? I'm not a "regular," but I do feel like more than a lurker. I try to post when I can be helpful, I've posted in hopes of getting support (and gotten it, thank you!), and I've tried to post in support of others.

[hellokitty1]

ITA Eri. If you're a lurker, you would not even be registered here to answer the poll.

[mabuckles]

I just wanted to chime in that your boys are adorable!

[Zana]

Just wanted to chime in...in the spirit of my new resolution not to be so much of a lurker!

I joined the board after reading baby bargains while I was pregnant. It has been a tremendous resource and I take from it what I need, learn about wonderful new things for my baby, have asked a few questions when I really needed to and generally dont get bothered by opinions that are not in synch with mine. All this adds up to more reading than posting :)

Lately (especially after making the above resolution!) I have tried to participate in more general posts, but usually have a tough time replying in a timely manner or hate to repeat something another poster has already put out in a much more eloquent manner! Since DH works 12-14 hr shifts, I'm pretty much occupied with DS after I get back from work, so lets hope I can keep up...my aim right now is to make it to 50 posts!!!

[22tango]

Not a lurker or a regular, but maybe an "old aquaintance"??

I also post on another bboard where the talk is more about parenting issues and less about gear (ie. more like the lounge) but organized around babies' ages. Although I have belonged to both there and here for the same time, I have more than 7000 posts there and just a few hundred here.

I think this group just feels "bigger" to me so it's harder to dive in and become a regular. I mostly just add my $.02 when I think I can be helpful, but don't often get very "social" since I don't have the time to followup and keep it going. Goodness knows with two little ones I have very little time for posting or reading anywhere now (or maybe just a little reading but as baby is in arms, not posting! LOL!)

However...I still love coming here and dipping my toes in the water occasionally even if I'm mostly still just sunning myself on the side! :D

[Starbaby]

I am a reader and completely relate to a previous poster. I'm a first time WOHM. My DH works a different shift, so I don't have much help at night either, and like a previous poster, I pump at work and read much more easily than I could type.

All that said, I would be very sad if these boards weren't available to "lurkers" like me.

You all, for the most part without knowing it, have helped me pick out furniture, stollers, and make sure my car seat was properly installed, before my DD arrived, learn about Hannas, and now that my DD is here, given me encouragement to keep EBFing while working full time with the aid of my PIS (plus an ISIS I bought one day from the drug store when I forgot my horns at home. Eek!) and I am sure will help me make it through the transition to solids.

I apologize if not posting often is hurtful or if I seem selfish for not contributing, but if knowing how helpful you experienced moms are to those who need some more info or just need to see that others have been through the same would provide some encouragement to welcome the lurkers and rare posters, please know how grateful I, for one, am.

[TonFirst]

Ack - double post!

[TonFirst]

I voted for the second-to-last option.

I tend to post the most in whatever forum pertains to my life the most at the time. When Adam was outgrowing his SnugRide and when I had massive prpblems with my Britax Decathlon, I was in Carseats all the time. When I was having thrush issues and when we started solids, I was in the Feeding forum all the time. When I wanted to find a good diaper bag for an overseas trip, I was in Diaper Bags. Same thing when I figured out a way to launder my PPB bag - I figured that it was useful information, so I shared it.

I use the search function all the time, and when I find the answer I need, I don't see any reason to post. At the forum I co-founded and moderate, we actually have a rule that people CAN'T start a topic on an issue that's already been addressed in an earlier thread.

Honestly, this whole "lurkers vs. regulars" thing mystifies me. Like I said earlier, I co-founded and help moderate a pretty active forum. It has never occurred to anyone on our boards that lurking is a bad thing that should be discouraged. We have a lot of lurkers, and while we love it when they post, we certainly don't feel disdain for them if they don't post or if they're "free riders."

And to address the issue that some members here have raised about feeling like other mothers here disapprove if they don't breastfeed, or don't cloth diaper, or whatever - that is really a shame. I truly wish that more mothers would be supportive of each other, and of the individual decisions that every mother makes for her children. It's one thing to post disapproving repsonses if a parent comes here and posts something like, "Hey, if I want to install my Graco turbo booster rear-facing using some rubber bands and kitchen twine to attach the seat to front seat where the airbag is active, that is MY BUSINESS!!!!!!!" If someone is endangering their child, I feel that we have an obligation to say something. But if someone simply makes a perfecty safe parenting decision that you didn't necessarily make for your child, well, it really isn't your business unless that poster specifically asks for other people's advice and experiences.

Here's an example: I know that a lot of mothers here post over at motheringdotcommune (MDC), and have found that site to be a nurturing, supportive community, but I avoid that place like the plague, mainly because a year or so ago there was an intensely mean-spirited thread (titled "Things You Won't Hear at MDC" or something like that) that made me think, "Cripes! This is a group of women that I DO NOT want to know!" I don't to think that an overall helpful, friendly, supportive board like the BBB would give any parent the impression that that thread over at MDC gave me. Seriously - I full-out boycott all things Mothering Magazine because of that one mean, snipey thread. I want nothing whatsoever to so with the forum.

So, bottom line, I don't know if I'm a lurker, or a regular, or an in-between, and I really don't care.

Also, I think I'm one of those people with a dark sense of humor, and I also like to say "f*ck" a lot. In fact, the only time I self-edit is to remove the profanit from my posts. I'm like a sailor, really ; )

[SweetTooth]

I have been reading lots & recently realized I should register & be an official user. So I guess I am a "lurker", but now feel encouraged to post. I have gained sooooooo much helpful information & guidance from this site, from researching products to parenting philosophies. I just hope I can contribute something back!
Andrea

[Marisa6826]

>Also, I think I'm one of those people with a dark sense of humor, and I also like to say "f*ck" a lot. In fact, the only time I self-edit is to remove the profanit from my posts. I'm like a sailor, really ; )


Oh yeah! My twin at last!!!! I used to joke that Sophie would simply assume that other drivers in traffic are *always* referred to as pigf***ers". :P

And in this house it's ALLLLLL about dark humour.



-m

[aliceinwonderland]

Oh yeah, DH and I realised the impossibility of reform when MY SISTER periodically reminds us not to curse in front of our son. Yeah, like that will happen!

We get together with the SIL and BIL who are the most conservative baptists you'll meet and there's good times to be had by all as they look at us like devil incarnate...

e.

[Bethann31]

We must be triplets.

I have to continually remind myself to quit using the "f" word quite so frequently around Katherine too. I'm often finding myself saying, "no, Mommy said firetruck."

Beth
mom to:

Josh 3/90
Mollie 4/92
Jeffrey 12/94
Katherine 6/03


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/lamlamsvi20030604_4_Katherine+Grace+is.png

[TonFirst]

"I used to joke that Sophie would simply assume that other drivers in traffic are *always* referred to as pigf***ers"

Ha! I just hope that if I say to another driver, "f*ck you, you f*ucking f*ck" in my sweetest, most Southern tone, my son won't pick up on what I'm trying to express. I *am* a member of the Juni0r Le@gue, after all!

[ca mom to 2]

I most definitely lurk. I think this is my third post, but I read most every night. Sort of coming late to this question because I skipped this weekend. I've learned tons over the last couple of years, and this is the first place I come to look for answers. There are so many people with so many different situations that a search will almost always answer my question or at the very least give me an idea of where to look next.

I am by nature shy. Neve's friendliness prompted me to e-mail her directly last fall because I knew the answer to her Bertini stroller question. I knew she didn't want the double because I had touched one of those enormous things, and no one was answering her over in strollers. I think Beth and Leah prompted my first official post. Her Sarah is about my Carly's age, and I've learned so much from her posts, and just felt so awful for all of them. I guess now it just seems awkward to jump in because I feel like I know all of you, and I would just be this strange person that knows too much about all of you.

You are all an amazing bunch of women, and on bad days I know where to come for answers and giggles. Thanks!

Edited because I wound up with two signatures.

[bluestar2]

Boy am I late replying to this thread (in the middle of vacation) but I just had to post. I am a lurker who is trying to post more, and wanted to say I have learned so much by reading these boards and Fields' book (which is how I first discovered them). I guess I have felt rather intimidated about posting because it seemed like I didn't have much to contribute before as a new parent. Also, with a pair of very active year and a half old twins, I've been lucky to have a coherent thought at the end of the day (the only time I had to come here), much less be able to compose an intelligent post! Only now do I feel my life has settled down enough and I have been able to catch up on things that I am able to post. I just recently discovered the Lounge and it is dangerous! I get sucked in every time. I have to make sure I finish all my other business or else I would never get it done :)

[VickiH]

>Also, I think I'm one of those people with a dark sense of humor, and I also like to say "f*ck" a lot. In fact, the only time I self-edit is to remove the profanit from my posts. I'm like a sailor, really ; )


>Oh yeah! My twin at last!!!! I used to joke that Sophie would simply assume that other drivers in traffic are *always* referred to as pigf***ers".



LOL, make that triplets.....I really do need to watch what I say in front of DS, but I just can't help it, especially when some a-hole cuts me off! Having grown up in a large, loud Italian family in NY makes it even harder!