Does your SO read your e-mail?

[redhookmom]

I was at a social event today and a friend's husband asked me a question. I must of looked perplexed because he went on to say he knew about such and such because he read my friend's e-mail. Really not a big deal but I never have given any thought to the idea that someone else might read an e-mail besides the person I am sending it to.
I don't read my dh's and he does not read mine.

[DebbieJ]

We used to share an email address back in the day when your internet provider only gave you one. So, yes, then we read each other's mail.

Now that we have separate addresses, we do not read each other's mail.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[kensjen]

Up until recently my BIL and SIL shared an email address. Drove me crazy! My BIL always read the messages I would send my SIL and I felt like I had to censor them a bit...you know, try to keep the MIL talk (his mom) to a minimum.

My DH and I do not read each other's mail. He would be appalled at all of the paypal receipts, LOL!

[Elilly]

We share an e-mail account so I guess it is possible but DH rarely gets personal e-mail at home. I don't mind if he reads mine. My life is very boring and I talk more on the phone than do personal e-mail.

[BillK]

No - I don't read my wife's email nor does she read mine. Even after 11+ years of marriage I don't open her regular mail either. Of course between the 2 of us and 6 computers we have about 8 different email accounts. :)

[lisaE]

No way. IMO, that's a total invasion of privacy.

[cric]

Only if I ask him to log in as me and check for something or if he asks me.

[C99]

No, but I do occasionally forward things to him that I think are interesting (usu. related to one of our families), so is it possible that's what your friend did?

[barbarhow]

Same here. He has looked stuff up for me on occasion when I did not have email access Otherwise, I wouldn't want him reading mine-nor would I want to read his. Neither of us have anything to hide but I think it is important to maintain that privacy.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[dowlinal]

I read his, but he doesn't read mine. LOL!! I don't actually read most of his mail but I will log into his account probably about once a week because we get notices about things going on in our town sent to his account. If a notice is there then I read it. I know that you are all thinking that he could just foward it to me but we tried that and he always forgot.

[dr mom]

No, I would consider that an invasion of privacy. Not that I have anything to hide, my e-mail is actually pretty dull, LOL! I don't open DH's personal mail, either. (Credit card statements and such I will sometimes open, but only to pay the bill, not to snoop)

[crayonblue]

No. And, this is something that annoys me. I don't like sending personal emails to a a joint account and most of my friends share accounts with their husbands. I don't write things that I don't want the husbands to read but I still feel strange about it.

[mudder17]

Wow, I thought we were bad. We have 2 lap tops (I gave away a third), a desk top, and an old IMac that we don't use. We also had enough parts for at least 2 other desk tops, but I gave those, along with another lap top, to my school. We don't read each other's e-mail, but we do sometimes open our US mail, since most of the US mail stuff is either Birthday/anniversary greetings, or bills, or church business. Personal mail is mostly through e-mail these days. I had 2 e-mail accounts and DH has at least 4 that I know of.


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 17 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[jd11365]

No...only because he doesn't know how to use it. :P Plus, I don't think he really cares about my email. It's usually my friends or BBB Swap and the like, so nothing exciting.

[jasabo]

No. His email is too boring for me to want to read it :) I would imagine he thinks mine is too, so I don't think he reads it. We don't open each other's personal snail mail either, if it's addressed to us individually.

Lisa - mom to 2 yr old twin boys

[holliam]

I don't think we care either way. We both have read each others mail at some point, but not secretively or anything.

Honestly, I don't consider it a violation of privacy with email, postal mail, etc. It doesn't bother me at all, nor him.

Perhaps our lives are just too boring? LOL

Holli

[steph2003]

Nope - I use email to vent to girlfriends about different stuff (involving him!) I would feel a total invasion of privacy if he read my email. But we have different accounts anyway so it isn't an issue.

now I admit looking over his shoulder from time to time when he is checking his email ;)

[cilantromapuche]

Not that I know of, but he knows my passwords (I had him check stuff for me one time). DH is not nosy though. I guess that would drive me crazy if he was constatly looking through my stuff.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)

[crl]

Not unless I specifically ask him to check something for me. Same with me reading his. My SIL reads the e-mails I send to my brother though; I think they share what used to be his address. This bothers me a bit--not that I complain about her to him or anything.

I do open snail mail bills, etc sent to DH, but not stuff that looks personal. I have his permission and I'm much better about throwing unnecessary enclosures, envelopes, junk mail, etc. away.

[papal]

Not unless I ask him to check something for me when I am away from the computer. I would not care if he did though.. I have no secrets.. lol. He would probably get bored more than anything!

[bunnisa]

We each have a "private" account as well as one "joint" account. Anyone sending mail to the joint account knows we'll both get it. Generally, I read ALL the email in the joint account and act as DH's secretary when necessary! He's so busy he never checks it.

Having the private account is really handy for birthday gifts, surprizes, etc, or if a friend wants to talk about something confidentially (that rarely happens on email!).

Bethany
mom to one and one on the way!
http://lilypie.com/days/060226/0/8/1/-6/.png

[MichelleRC]

Nope, my DH doesn't have any idea how to use the computer. (he is a tennis pro--not much call for one in his line of work). He will give my email address out when someone asks and I send and respond to his email as him, either with or without him participating. I am actually really happy it is this way--the computer is mine and the internet and email and all that are "my thing".

[anamika]

SOmetimes - we're not very hung up on the privacy thing. We have Yahoo and MSN messenger so when it beeps with a new mail, whoever is on will usually check, irrespective of whose account it is.
We would read it more often if we found each others emails intertesting :) His is all boring kinases, computers, ebay stuff. Mine is all babycenter, friends writing about their babies and deciding dates for chick flick night, lunch get together that sort of thing.

[new_mommy25]

Nope never!! I have no interest in DH's mail nor does he have in mine. We don't even know eachothers passwords.

[kransden]

No, we have each other's passwords,(what if there was a car accident etc.) but we never as far as I know read each other's mail.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[KrisM]

We're with you, too. Two laptops, 1 desktop in use and 2 other desktops that aren't in use. We're moving though and I need to get rid of those extra 2 computers!

To answer the original question - no. Even if we shared an e-mail account, we wouldn't read each other's e-mail.

[Melanie]

No, we have separate accounts, though we do share a "spam" account for when we sign up on websites, etc. It keeps our personal correspondance boxes easier to follow.

[Wife_and_mommy]

We have a joint email address because I find it annoying to have to switch "users" on the computer every time I sit down. It's not worth it to me and he's not interested in my email.

I will say that I have *never* found that I can have a conversation, particularly about something personal, that a woman won't tell her husband about. Never. It took me several years to figure out who the gossips are and I honestly don't mind if the friends I trust share with their husbands. It's the ones who share with the universe that drive me nuts.

My point is that reading email is nothing if the DH/DW is going to keep personal matters to themselves. I'm sure it'll come up in their conversations anyway.


Elizabeth

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogcrd20040405_4_My+child+is.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev035pb___.png
Our second morsel due early February 2006!

[mama2galpals]

no we don't read each other's emails.

i know people who share a screen name and it's really annoying. one friend even has her teenaged daughter on there too.






rita
mommy to
olivia '97
stella '00
emma '03

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
--Henry David Thoreau

http://lilypie.com/baby3/030123/3/4/1/+10/.png

[jamsmu]

No--that creeps me out! We have separate e-mails and I wouldn't expect either of us to read each other's mail. (unless, as a PP stated, it is forwarded).

Along the lines of comps, we have way more than we need, too. So there isn't a reason for us to share screens and read each others.

I will say, though, that when we're in the car and DH's blackberry buzzes because he gets an e-mail, he'll ask me to read it to him if its something he needs right away for work. But I consider that different.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Now, having kids on the account I have a problem with. Don't know how we'll handle that yet but *that* I consider privacy invasion. Teens, esp., already think they're grown adults without being privy to some adult matters.

Moms with preteens/teens, I'd love to know how you handle your computer time/passwords with the kiddos. I'm thinking if you have a password on your own email, they could password theirs. The house DH/I pay the mortgage on won't be a source of "privacy" for a teenager if we don't believe she's "earned" that privacy by being trustworthy. Yes, we're going to be one of those mean/fuddy-duddy parents. ;)


Elizabeth

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogcrd20040405_4_My+child+is.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev035pb___.png
Our second morsel due early February 2006!

[bluej]

We know Alex's password to her email and she's not allowed to change it. If she changes it, she won't be allowed on the computer. As for computer time, she gets half time for the computer for reading (15 minutes computer time for every 30 minutes she reads). Unless it's homework related.

We are having issues with computer location at this point. In our old house we had the kids computer in the rec room. DH's office was next to the rec room and the laundry room was off of the rec room, so they were never on the computer 'alone'. In the townhouse we had the kids computer in Alex's room not hooked up to the internet. They could do homework on it and play games. If they needed access to the internet they used DH computer in the loft, once again, not a private area so there were no concerns. In this house we just assumed we would put the kids computer in the rec room again, but I'm quickly realizing that is way too private of an area. DH and I never go down there. So I guess if it goes down there we won't be hooking it up to the internet. Which reminds me, I need to go block a whole lot of chanels on the tv down there.

[bluej]

We don't go into each other's mail accounts but we do forward a lot of things to one another. And if we don't forward it, we often tell one another that so and so wrote and what they had to say.

[nov02mom]

NO WAY!!!! My life is my business....not his.

[emelsea]

We have a family account that is anyone's business. Most of that stuff is from other family members.

I have a yahoo account that is just mine, and DH has a work account and a military account that are just his.

[schums]

That's what we do. I check DH's e-mail to get rid of spam and look for things that pertain to both of our lives. The rest of it I leave alone, cause it's not mine to bother with. Of course, DH only checks his home e-mail about once a month or less, unless I tell him he has mail to read! :-)

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[amp]

We're not too hung up on privacy either. Neither of us makes a habit of reading one another's email, but occasionally it happens when we are in there downloading the others mail. Really, there ain't much interesting there. I guess it's just not a concern here.

[Zana]

We dont really care about it either way. We have seperate accounts, but know each others passwords. I'm pretty sure he never checks mine and the only time I check his, is to open mail he tells me about but I know will take him forever to forward to me, like pics from friends etc.

[ribbit1019]

DH and I have each others passwords, but we don't read each others email. But often older relatives send mail to DH or I at the other's email address. It is nice just to be able to check them both when Uncle Dave says he emailed us. ;) That and if something were to ever happen to either of us we both have access for business reasons.
A couple of my firends do not have their own email, they share an address with their spouse. I find this very odd, but keep that in mind when I email them.


Christy
Maddy - weaned at 13 months

http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Baby Grew! Yay!
http://lilypie.com/days/060301/4/0/0/-5/.png

[heidis2girls]

We each have separate email accounts and one joint email account. I don't read his email and I'm assuming he doesn't read mine! He would find it boring with girl-talk and posts from the loops! I also have a separate email account for ebay.

We use our joint account for things like the girls schools, church emails, etc. That way hopefully one of us (usually me) will be sure to read it!

[californiagirl]

No, we don't read each other's email unless we're asked to. There are a number of addresses that send mail to both of us, but they forward to each address separately and end up in our normal mailboxes (well, I have four active mailboxes, and he has at least three, so having joint ones as well would just make our heads explode). I'm pretty sure he knows about all my mailboxes, and he administers 3 of the 4 machines involved, so he could read my mail no matter what, unless I encrypted it. We agreed that we don't protect our computers from each other and we don't poke around on them without a good reason, either (it came up in the course of a similar discussion on a board he reads, where one of the guys insisted on encrypting all the stuff on his computer so his girlfriend couldn't read it, and we agreed that was a sign of a disfunctional relationship. She should not read it just because he doesn't want her to. Which is how we do it, and why we actually discussed it.) I assume he has mailboxes I don't know about, but I think that's because they're irrelevant, not because they're secret. Actually, I'd bet he has mailboxes *he* has forgotten about!

I open paper mail addressed to him in some cases, particularly because Toyota doesn't believe that I could possibly have any interest in our car, and because he's out of town for 4 weeks at a time, so it's reasonably important to him for somebody to deal with his mail. Also because he can't figure out why he would possibly care (but he knows I do, because I'm careful about it, so he doesn't open things addressed to me without a good reason).

[buddyleebaby]

No, but he lurks behind me when I'm cracking up at a thread on the BBB.

[August Mom]

DH reads mine sometimes, but the only time I'm ever in 1 of his accounts is when we send Shutterfly pics (because they come from his account). It bugs me sometimes when he opens an e-mail and doesn't tell me and then I miss reading it because it's already been opened and I'm checking new e-mail.

The other thing is that DH often uses my account to send complaint e-mails to places. That annoys me because I always sound way *itchier in his e-mails than I do IRL.

I've thought about changing my password, but there's really nothing secretive in my e-mail and I sometimes need DH to check it for me.

[mamamayi]

We have separate e-mail accounts. The only time we read each other's mail is if one of us asks the other one to. Even though there aren't any "secrets," it just seems nosey to me.

[essnce629]

My boyfriend knows my password because I'm always bugging him to check my email for me when I don't have access to the internet or when I'm too busy and just want him to check to see if a certain person wrote me. But I know he doesn't go in and read my emails since there's nothing he'd be interested in-- it's mostly spam from websites I'm signed up on and confirmation receipts from buying stuff online. My friends and I don't really email each other since it's easier to just talk on the phone.

***Latia
Conner 8/19/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aug2003angel
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif 23 months & counting! http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/9870.gif