I don't freaking believe it

[Rachels]

After learning two days ago that we're losing our pediatrician, I woke up to the shocking news this morning that the birth center where we're supposed to have our baby is closing in three weeks. I'm on their BOARD, and nobody even called me. I'm exhausted and overheated and contracting all the time, and now out of nowhere we've lost all our care providers. I feel stunned and desperate and horrible.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[himom]

Rachel, OMG, what a horrible week you're having! I'm so, so sorry to hear about the birthing center closing. I'll be praying you find something (fast!) that will meet your specifications and give you the birth you really want. And a pediatrician you like!

I don't know what else to say except I hope things get better soon!

Jodi

[jk3]

Wow, Rachel. That's a lot to deal with all at once. I hope you are able to work out the pediatrician situation and to find a suitable option for your baby's birth. I'm sorry.

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[hez]

Well, crap. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this added stress. Big (((hugs))) -- I hope the next few days bring resultions to these issues so you can get back to preparing for the arrival peacefully.

[Wife_and_mommy]

That is unbelievable. I hope it was something unexpected that happened because that would be completely unethical, in my mind, to care for women knowing that their care would be cut short before their births. Esp. with no warning whatsoever!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this all as you try to cope with your pregnancy as well. It'd be easy to say not to stress but I won't. I hope you're able to find comfortable and suitable care for your next birth very quickly.


Elizabeth

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogcrd20040405_4_My+child+is.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev035pb___.png
Our second morsel due early February 2006!

[jamsmu]

Rachel,

So sorry to hear this news... it's really something you DON'T need right now! Hang in there, hopefully you'll find people you like even more! (though I know that's hard to believe right now!)

[daisymommy]

Oh Rachel,
I'm so sorry! What absolutely awful timing! There really should be a law about pulling the rug out from under a pregnant Mama's feet like that :( I hope you can find someone you love to birth your babe and take good care of him :)

There's always the thought of doing a home birth! ;)

[smomom]

Oh Rachel. I am so sorry. That truly sucks. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that everything works out for you.

[JulieL]

Wow Rachel - that is a surprise! Why did they lose all their care providers? I can't BELIEVE they didn't tell you. Are there any more birthing centers in your area? I know that is taking you for a big loop on what to expect for your labor. I hope you can get settled somewhere soon! (((HUGS)))

[zuzu]

ACK! What a horrible week! No advice, but plenty of hugs. I hope you find replacement care that you love and trust, and quickly.

Melissa, mom to Sarah (5/03)

[Rachels]

Yep, that makes the homebirth decision pretty easy. I'm not about to go to a hospital for a normal birth, and the only other birth center in reach doesn't really feel like an option. I wouldn't have time to meet everybody, and they have some backup procedures that I'm really not comfortable with. So homebirth it is. It just feels very, very stressful to lose my relationships with midwives I know and trust, find new care, get my house ready, figure out what to do with Abigail... all at the end of my pregnancy. This BLOWS.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[DebbieJ]

Oh Rachel, this sucks! I can't believe that they would just close like that. And that the board didn't even know!! Yikes!

I hope you are able to find care providers that meet your needs. I am still in contact with my old pediatrician (I'm sure you know of him) and midwife back in Los Angeles and they may know some folks out your way if you need help finding someone. Actually, my midwife is originally from Boston so she may have some contacts if you need them. Just let me know! Have you gone to a LLL meeting? I'm sure the mammas there would have some ideas, too.

As for the homebirth, it is going to be awesome!!!! Don't worry about needing to get your house in order. Your little boy won't care if there are things on the floor or whatever. He just wants to meet you and cuddle and nurse! I still have the supply lists that my MW gave me for my HB if you'd like to take a look them.

Hang in there--you can do this!!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[ribbit1019]

Yikes! What a week you have had.
Are there any other birth centers around or could the mid wife come to your house?
What a freaking PITA! You are remaining calmer than I would be!
I hope you can work something out!

Christy
Maddy - walking finally!

http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
http://lilypie.com/days/060301/4/0/0/-5/.png

[Rachels]

I'd love to have your supply lists! The more practical stuff I can do, the less I will feel overwhelmed. I am pretty well-connected in the birthing community here because of my dissertation work, so I do know who to call in terms of trying to find a provider. It's just stressful to HAVE to, kwim? The stuff I need to do to get my house ready is mainly logistical-- curtains on the kitchen windows, etc, so that I have the privacy I need in labor. Also my hot water heater is totally inadequate for heating up a birthing pool, so I have to figure that out.

My biggest worry about birthing at home is Abigail, who tends to get easily frightened. There's nowhere really for her to go and backup care is in short supply, so it's just something we need to figure out.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[JulieL]

Rachel if I remember right you don't live by family? Is it possible for any family to come up to take care of her for you guys? When is your due date btw? It's amazing how time is just flying!

[chlobo]

Rachel, that totally sucks. Ijust sent you an email.

[lmintzer]

Rachel,
I'm so sorry! How awful that both things happened at once (your insurance and the birthing center). Do you think Abigail will be okay in the house if she has somone (like a family member or a close friend) to give her 1 on 1? Or is she the kind of kiddo who will go straight for mommy? I can imagine watching a mommy in pain could be very scary for a 3 year-old who is on the sensitive side. Jack (at 4) would completely freak out.

I don't have much in terms of concrete suggestions to make (home birth is completely out of my realm), but if anyone can do this safely and comfortably, it would be you. Hang in there--you still have some time to work this stuff out. We're all here to offer support and an ear anytime!

[DebbieJ]

Just sent you an email!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[mommyj_2]

Rachel,
Hugs to you. How awful to have to deal with this right when you mentally need to feel that everything is settled and ready. I will be sending positive energy your way.
I know you said you don't have anyone to watch Abigail, but what about some of the women in the birthing community you know from your dissertation? Are there any you would trust to watch Abigail? Maybe you could have one or two of them come over and spend some time with Abigail now and see how she does.
I have a friend with a very high needs/sensitive/extended nursing toddler, and she had her son stay overnight with a friend. He did beautifully. Or, do you have family who could fly/drive over on short notice? I really wish I lived nearby, because I'm sure my DS and Abigail would get along great. Are there any BBBers you know who are in the same town? What about any MDC mamas? I'm just trying to brainstorm. I think if you could line up a few people to have on call, and then have Abigail spend some time with them now, you will feel much more relaxed. It would be nice if the people helping out have kiddos of their own, because the kids could help keep Abigail distracted. I know you know all of this, but I'm just trying to think of some suggestions.
I hope you can find an arrangement that makes you feel calm and at peace for your birth.

[kensjen]

Wow, that sucks. I came very close to choosing to give birth there. Ugh, I am so sorry. I'm sending you an email.

[mudder17]

Oh, Rachel, what a horrible week you've had! It sounds like a homebirth will be the best option for you, and I know it's going to go great! I know it's going to be tough trying to figure out what to do with Abby, and of course, the fact that you have to figure all of this out AND find a midwife, etc., is definitely stressful. But focus on one thing at a time and things will work out!

I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers! Sending you lots of good thoughts!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif , 17 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[Karenn]

Rachel-
I'm sorry. That's just not fair!

Good luck in getting your homebirth together. I'm sure you'll find someone you trust to stay with Abigail.

[calebsmama03]

Oh honey, this totally sucks for you!! How stressful and something you totally don't need :( On the bright side, I am certain you will love homebirth! I'm nak now but will PM you later :)
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
And Miss Purple, 5/05

[alkagift]

Rachel,
That is just unbelievably awful. Why in the world would they close and not TELL you? Aghhhhhh. I feel for you, I do. I hope that you can find someone you and Abigail both know and love to help her through the birth.


Allison
Mommy to Matthew, who is TWO!

Are you TTC and want to share with BBB friends? Join us! http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/BBB_TTC/

[wendmatt]

Oh Rachel, that's really horrid news. I hope you manage to find something else that you like, what terrible timing and I can't belive they didn't even tell you. Try to relax and take care of yourself.

[buddyleebaby]

I'm sorry you're going through all this.
I know this isn't much consolation, but FWIW, I had a less than ideal birthing experience, certainly not what I had hoped for, but in the end you get the same precious baby no matter if they were born in a birthing center or a hospital or your very own bed. (Or a taxi or a subway or an ambulance....)

[alexsmommy]

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry this happened. It sucks to have to have any changes right now, let alone big ones. Best of luck finding a home birth plan that feels good.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[ett]

Rachel,

That's awful. I can't believe they only gave you 3 weeks notice.

Sending hugs your way.

[mamicka]

Gosh Rachel, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But you, of all people, can handle this :). All the home-birthing mommas here will give you the low-down & it will be beautiful. I may be remembering incorrectly, but didn't you kind-of want to have a homebirth anyway? Be careful what you wish for ;).

I don't mean to make light of this at all, I totally would be freaking out if the hospital I'd been planning on delivering at were closing down unexpectedly. But just look on the bright side, this could turn out to be really fabulous!.

Allison

[american_mama]

Rachel, this is sad/funny because within the past week I was idly wondering why your birthing center was still open when others have closed. The thought was sparked because I met some people recently who gave birth to their daughter a few years ago at Elizabeth Seton Birthing Center (?) in NYC, but which is now closed. I had previously heard of this center, so I figured if a well-known one was closed, things must be bad. What factors went into your center closing?

As for who to care for Abigail, I had no nearby family or friends when DD2 was born abroad. I asked two acquaintances whose house I had been to and whose children Amara liked, and both were very willing to help because they'd been in the same situation yourselves. I think you'll find people in your circle with that attitude.

[Rachels]

Thank you all so much for your outpouring of support and offers of help today. It really has made a difference.

I still don't know much about what's happening at the birth center, other than there is obviously a noteworthy personal crisis for the director (whom I adore). I am adjusting as rapidly as possible to the idea of birthing at home. I'm excited about many parts of that, and relieved to let go of some of the anxieties that birthing away from home brings for me. I'm also trying to line up ideas for helping Abigail through my labor. The offers of help I have received today have been incredibly touching, and make a huge difference in my ability to imagine this all going well for her.

Some things have gotten suddenly easier, too. She has stopped nursing, stopped napping, and started sleeping extremely well at night (except for teething). That makes it a lot easier for someone else to take care of her, and it takes pressure off me as well.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[barbarhow]

Coming in late and one handed....can't believe this has happened! but-maybe it was meant to be? Don't mean to sound trite but-maybe you are meant to have a homebirth.
I wish we were closer-I would come in a second to take care of Abigail.
I hope things iron out in the next few days. In the meantime-I'll be thinking of you.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[Rachels]

Thank you-- those are wonderful things to say. :) We interviewed a homebirth midwife tonight and she was WONDERFUL. I'm starting to feel some excitement rather than just despair. I am going to sit with it for a few days, but it was a great meeting and has gone a long way to lifting my spirits and my hopes.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[muskiesusan]

I was thinking the same thing, that you were simply meant to have a homebirth!

I hope everything works out for you. What a time to have all this come crashing down on you!

Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[mommy_someday]

I'm coming in late, too, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that no one had the decency to inform you of this HUGE change! That's just a really, truly awful thing to do to a pregnant woman, especially one in her third trimester. I would be completely freaking out right now, so I'm glad that you seem to be somewhat past that stage. :) And I think having a homebirth would be such an amazing experience...so different from my hospital one. I read "The Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent (CNMW) and loved the atmosphere she painted in her writings about homebirths. DH has already told me that there is NO WAY IN HE!! that he would ever be okay with a homebirth. So I won't be having one for any future babies, but I'm SO glad you get to!

(tiny) Silver Lining: at least you won't have any possibility of having that one really awful MW attend your birth (the one that you thought no longer worked there and the center *failed* to tell you she was back...I'm sensing a trend here!)

I hope everything goes smoothly and that someone can pitch in to watch Abigail during the labor and delivery. It's gonna be great, Rachel, don't worry!

[slknight]

Chiming in late too, but I'm sorry to hear this whole thing has turned so stressful. I think there's a birthing center in Beverly (North Shore), but I'm guessing that's a bit far for you. I have full confidence in you though that you can have a wonderful home birth.

BTW, I saw the new Our Bodies, Ourselves at Target the other day and thought of you. :)

[brittone2]

Ugggh...I'm so sorry you are getting hit w/ all of this at once. However, it does sound like you were ultimately meant to homebirth and that's where life is taking you right now. So enjoy the ride as much as you can :)

I wish you much luck and I can't wait to hear more about it. DH and I would love to homebirth if we ever are fortunate enough to get pg again...so it looks like for now I'll be living vicariously through you.

I cannot believe that as a member of the Board you weren't contacted beforehand though. Sheeesh.