Driving 24+ hours with a not-quite-2-year-old...insanity?

[sarahsthreads]

My in-laws are planning to take all of us to Disney next July. My DH really wants to drive rather than fly - because he likes long car rides, not because he doesn't like flying. I'm trying to convince him that 24+ hours in the car with a 21-month-old might not be the best idea in the whole world, but he thinks it will be fine. Easy for him to say, right? After all, he'll be doing more of the driving, leaving me in the back seat to calm the crying baby. (And I *hate* long car rides and get carsick pretty easily, but his answer to that is Dramamine. Yay.)

The current plan is to break up the drive into three days. There is a small possibility that on the way back we could take an auto-train for the first 2/3 of the trip and drive the rest of the way, but we're still looking into it.

I have a feeling DH going to get his way on this one, unless I can come up with some very persuasive arguments! His feeling is that if his sister, who has two sets of twins - they'll be 5 and 3 1/2 - can do the drive with all of her kids, we can do it with just one.

Anyway, I'm looking for opinions or real-life stories where people did such long drives with a very little person. And, for anyone who has done it, what on earth (besides DVDs, since Carrie will still be RF and we don't have a DVD player in our wagon anyhow) do you do to keep a child that age occupied for so long?!? (Keeping in mind that reading anything, including maps, is the surest way for me to get carsick!)

If you've read this far, thanks in advance for any advice!
Sarah :)

[miki]

We've driven to my parents' house a few times and it's about 12 hours and we drive it straight, mostly at night. When she was around 1 yr, it was much easier, she had no trouble just sleeping while we drove at night. We just went again when she was about 22 months. It was much harder. She needed lots more entertainment and when we had rest stops to get food/gas, she really resisted going back into the car seat because a toddler is meant to move around constantly. She also had more diffculty getting a restful sleep because things are more interesting to her and she likes to carry on a conversation with us. What keeps her occupied is playing with her lovey (a blanket) which she typically does not get unless it's bedtime or naptime but on a long trip, she gets to hold it all the time. We have DVDs stashed away for emergencies.

I would not subject my DD to a really long car ride 3 days in a row. But that's just me. I know she would rather be running around playing. I would rather she be running around playing. I'm sure you guys can do this drive to Disney but that doesn't mean it will be an enjoyable start to your vacation. Your SIL is a brave woman to take such a long car trip with 4 small kids. But if your DH is using her as support for why he wants to drive, do you know if that's her first choice? It would be really expensive to fly 4 kids. But you only have 1 kid who could still be a lap baby (not that I think a toddler on the lap is the best way to go) but I think that plane ride would be a whole lot less trouble.

[Momof3Labs]

Well, I'd focus on how to make the Disney trip the best that it can be. And if you are spending a total of SIX days on the road (3 there, 3 back), that would make for a rough vacation for almost anyone, especially a 2 year old who won't understand why she has to spend so much time in her car seat. Disney takes a lot of energy, and I wouldn't want to waste it on a car ride (or have to save some for the ride back).

Also, that means getting out and settled into a hotel every night. Bleh, not my cup of tea!

Be sure to factor in 30-45 minute breaks every 2-ish hours for your DD - she'll need time and a place to stretch her legs, too.

How about if you and DD fly down and meet DH? Though with the cost of gas skyrocketing, it may be much cheaper to fly than drive.

[ykc]

24+ hours....yikes!

We've done a 13 hour drive with our kids, at that time 4yo and 22mos, and a 24-hr trip to Hongkong, which includes a 15 hr flight, ages 4yo and 20mos. The flight was actually easier (once you got over my daughter puking and my husband having diarrhea) because the kids got to get out of their seats and stretch out to fall asleep. My son ended up falling asleep on the floor, which was not ideal from a safety standpoint, and you'd think from a comfort standpoint too, but he likes to sleep on his stomach.

For the drives: On the way there, we did it all in one day, but we drove way into the night, so the kids fell asleep. On the way back, we broke it up into two days. We don't have a DVD player either (BTW, what's RF?). We talked, and had snacks, and sang songs--a lot of songs, over and over and over again. My kids are weird--they wanted some kid songs, but also Queen's We Will Rock You, B52's Rock Lobster, and I can't remember what else. They had a few books to look at, some colouring stuff, a mini magna-doodle. Most of it was useless after a while because it would fall to the floor, and we were all strapped into our respective seats. We took potty breaks and pit stops every few hours. The 4yo was harder to entertain, actually. I did get kind of car sick because I had to keep turning around to look at whatever my daughter wanted to show me.

24 hrs is really long to be in the car, even broken up. (Make your husband promise to wrestle Carrie into the carseat when the time comes.) I think if you can split it into 4 days, it might not be too bad, but that adds 8 days to your vacation time. Maybe you can tell your husband that after 3 8-hr days on the road, you all might be (a) crazed, (b) homicidal, and/or (c) too tired to enjoy your vacation and that wouldn't be fair to his parents. And assuming you/he/both of you don't have an entire summer off, then coming home and going back to work....

[netne]

I personally wouldn't attempt that long a drive with a child that age. It would be miserable for my DS, making it even more miserable for us. The longest drive we've done with our 2 y/o is 5 hours, and we have to stop at least once. He gets very restless and bored. It's a really long time for a toddler to sit still.

Without DVDs and limited reading, I'm not sure how else to occupy a little one for that long. I think you would have to stop alot to let her run around. How's your singing?

[jd11365]

Kayla and I fly, DH drives. He likes to drive, and doesn't like to fly. I don't like to fly, but I like sitting in the car with a toddler much less. Perhaps you can do the same. He can drive straight though and meet you there the next day and the same for the return. Then you can focus on a happy vacation!

Good luck either way!

[bostonsmama]

I am going to preface my post by saying that I don't have any toddlers which I've taken on long trips, but I can relate to you on a few points:
1) I also get extremely carsick doing anything short of driving myself
2) I have lots of experience driving long distances with my dog (who requires lots of potty stops, petting, entertainment, food, treats, etc)
3) I remember a particularly awful 2-day trip to South Florida (from VA) when I was a teen where my older step-sister brought her two very young children in our van. 5 words: Lots of crying and yelling.

So, to address #1- If you get sick like I do, you'll want to stay out of the backseats. The middle seat might be good if you can look clear out the front window (so you can spend some time with your DD playing games with her). Regardless, I recommend staying in the front w/ DH and talking to DD. Don't take Dramamine unless it's the nondrowsy kind, and even then I tend to konk out...or just feel groggy and carsick all the same. Perhaps you can offer to drive a 3hour leg of the trip so DH can play with Carrie while you focus on the road.

Point #2- Traveling with a dog is rough. So I imagine a kid is only ten times harder. Take lots of rest stops. Get ice cream as a treat at rest area stops, play color games with her (trust me, 20-months old is the perfect time to start doing this...ask her what color the truck, bus or car beside you is). Bring a favorite obnoxious musical toy...my best friend's son's favorite toy is a Wiggles piano where if you touch any piano key the Wiggles guys dance/jump and sing a song for 40 seconds. I swear he could play with that toy for hours on end. She also might like books or crayons and paper. I have seen NHTSB-approved attachment trays that clip onto carseats so your child has a place to scribble with crayons. Keep her well hydrated and give her plenty of snacks that are soft and difficult to choke on (like saltines, goldfish, cooked carrots, kernel-less popcorn).

Point #3- Although it's doable by car, 3 days sounds like you're drawing it out awfully long. My family used to do our 24-hour trips all in one swoop, without too much wear (it was a lot of sleeping at night and lots of rest stops during the day...and mom/dad switched off driving). Anyways, it can still turn out to be hell on earth...so if DH will relent at all, flying might be such an easy answer. I know that the trip I mentioned above w/ my nieces was a "NEVER AGAIN" trip according to my mom & step dad. The youngest was car-seat bound, and the first 12 hours were great b/c we entertained her and sung her Barney songs...but the last 8 hours were pure hellish as she cried, wanted to get out of her seat, wanted to stay at rest stops, etc. It was awful. Be forewarned.

Wishing you the best and lots of fun no matter what you decide,
Larissa
who is still trying to give birth so she can have more to say

[alexsmommy]

If I had a choice I wouldn't do it. We did 13 hours with DS when he was 19 mo. He was a trooper, but I think he was hitting his max. On the way there we did 10 hours one late afternoon/night (with a long dinner break) and by the next day he definately wasn't as happy to be in the car. For the remaining 4 hours we still had to stop once making it a five hour trip. On the return trip he was more tired from his disrupted vacation schedule so even though we went straight through he slept a lot. We stopped every time he woke up and let him out to run/eat. We were completely prepared to stop and stay in a hotel if he melted down. He only got really fussy the last two hours, and by then we were so close I jumped in back and read/sang/fed/generally bribed him. He was still fussy, but we made it and I think no one was happier than him when our car pulled into our garage. Any longer than what we did would have been too much. Although car seats are comfy in general, I know on long trips, I find myself sitting in some strange positions just because my body gets sore in one position for too long. I worried with DS that because of the five point harness and how tight it needed to be to be safe he just couldn't shift much. You'd have to take lots of breaks at rest stops to let your DD stretch out. I think the train/car option would be better.
Oh, suggestions - go to the dollar store and load up on novel, cheap toys. We took out a new "surprise" every 20-30 minutes that he was awake. We also had new music CD's and food treats he doesn't usually get. We did not have a DVD player. Good luck.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[JBaxter]

I did the Maryland to Florida drive with 2 kiddos ( 8 months and 3.5) once. NEVER NEVER NEVER again. Even with XDH and I driving through the night the remaining time was not what I would consider vacation. DS2 was not quite walking so letting him out was difficult but he still wanted to move. DS 1 was just board he wanted to run and play and lay down for naps. I had brought half their toys and a ton of new stuff. My vote would be let your DH drive and you and your DC fly.

[kensjen]

Well, I wouldn't do it. We did a 13 hour road trip with DS when he was around 13 months, and that was LONG. We had to stop a lot, did it in 2 days, anything to make it easier for my son. He is a great traveler, but I just could tell he was so tired of the car seat. And it gets harder as they get older and realize what is going on. We have a 5 hour flight this week, and I am dreading that, I can't imagine 24 hours in the car! (and my son is 25 months now)

I like Jamie's idea...if he really wants to drive, have him meet you there. I know it isn't the perfect answer, but it may work. Or just be very very persuasive about flying!!

[ellies mom]

I think Jen has a great idea. What a good comprimise and if you won't have to rent a car.

I think 24 hours is nuts but I prefer flying anyhow. DD and I just got back from a 10 day vacation with 2 long flights and several 3-4 hour drives. I was a lunatic by the end of it. The worse was my Dad always taking the long way (or wrong way) and then turning off his hearing aids when the enivitable crying started, leaving my Mom and I do deal with it. Not fun, not fun at all.

[trumansmom]

We did it when DS was that age. My DH was adamant that we had to drive. It pretty much sucked. However, two things we did made it tolerable. 1) DVD player. I just had to accept the fact that my toddler's little brain was going to turn to mush for three days in a row. And then again three days later. *sigh*. 2) Stop and look for city parks, school playgrounds, McDonald's play areas, or ANY place with a playground. We stopped at least every two hours for a minimum of 30-45 minutes to play. When we got really desperate, we just went to a convenience store and had him run up and down the aisles with each of us at either end. ANYTHING to get him moving.

FWIW, it wasn't quite as bad as I had feared. It still pretty much sucked, and I've refused to do it again. We have done a shorter 2 days each way trip, and I might be willing to do that one again.

And as far as his sister goes, it's not a competition. If it were, it would be along the lines of "who can poke themselves with a needle the most times". Just because you can do it and survive, and just because someone else is willing to do it, doesn't necessarily mean it's worth doing. KWIM?

Good luck!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[toomanystrollers]

Picture this: 3 children (then ages 5,2, 4 months) in a vehicle from New England to Florida: 24 hrs of PURE HELL!! And the 2 yo passenger was the worst!

I will never drive that far with them again. Have your DH call me! LOL

There are so many "cheap" flights right now to Florida - definitely cheaper than all the gas, plus pain & suffering!

[hez]

We did a 13 hour-ish drive when Payton was 19 months old. YUCK. He did amazingly well-- we broke the trip into 2 days-- first day was 8 hours, second day was 5 hours. BUT, we were caravaning with 3 other families, all with kids under 6, and there were quite a few stops. Our friends with 12 month old twins had it the worst, I think.

We rented a mini-van with a DVD player in it, and that probably gained us an extra couple hours. There were still some crotchety moments at the end of each of the driving days, and I had to get in the back (carsick-prone, also) to entertain. Double yuck.

I just took Payton on a 5 hour drive each way this weekend by myself-- drove during his nap time so I got about 3 hours of quiet time. However, there was a bit of passing crackers and water back to him involved with making the rest of the trip OK, even after we stopped for a 45 minute meal and stretch break each way.

So, net, I WILL NOT be doing the 13 hour drive again. We'll fly, end of story.

[daniele_ut]

I wouldn't do it, no way, no how! We drove from Utah to St. Louis (20 hours) in June, and back again in August with our 8 month old (10 months the on return trip). It took us 3 days and DS is generally a pretty easy baby. We were traveling for work and had to take so much stuff with us for the 2 months that we couldn't fly. It was also just the 3 of us in a 12 passenger van so we had lots of room to stretch out. In a car it would have been pure hell, because in the van I could easily get in and out of the backseat. I would NEVER do it for a vacation!!

[aliceinwonderland]

we've done something similar. My sister needed to go to Ottawa, Canada from Philadelphia, and my husband drove her. They drove overnight so DS would be asleep, tried to do this both times. It was ok. Driving is exhausting, though, esp. driving at night. I don't drive but i feel guily falling asleep as poor DH has to keep on truckin'

If you can afford flying I'd lobby for that, big time. We only drive when we can't afford to fly.

[jasabo]

We drove across country when the boys were 6 months old, which is a pretty easy age for traveling. It still sucked! We had to stop every 2 or 3 hours for diaper changes and to just get their circulation going again after sitting in their car seats. We broke the trip up into 5-7 hour stretches a day b/c we didn't think it was fair to keep the boys in the car any longer then that. And getting settled in hotel rooms every night is SO not fun. My boys are now 2 yrs old and you couldn't pay me enough to try it again. I HATE flying, and I'd still rather do that then do a long road trip with kiddos at this age. Your dh may like long road trips, but he may think differently after spending 3 days in a car with a toddler ;)

Lisa - mom to 2 yr old twin boys

[sarahsthreads]

RF is rear-facing - we're not planning to turn her carseat until she's hit the weight limit, 33 pounds, and she's only 18 now, so it's going to be a while. I'm sure looking at the back of the car will make the trip even more exciting for Carrie. ;)

[sarahsthreads]

>Without DVDs and limited reading, I'm not sure how else to
>occupy a little one for that long. I think you would have to
>stop alot to let her run around. How's your singing?
Well, I can make "Old MacDonald" last 25 minutes and still not run out of animals! That's the only way to calm Carrie if she decides to melt down when I'm driving somewhere alone with her. And I know all the words to most Indigo Girls' songs - does that count? ;)

Sarah

[sarahsthreads]

Thanks for all the advice and opinions. Honestly, DH asked me to stop harping on it for a while - I think I was probably bringing up the topic a bit too often. Maybe over the next few months, when we drive 8 hours to see his family for holidays and other visits, he'll realize that Carrie will no longer spend so much of the trip napping! I have to admit, the three (four?) 8-hour trips we've taken with her have been relatively easy, only needing to stop two or three times for nursing/diaper changes, and with her napping for quite a bit of the time. Of course, she was only 7 months old the last time we went. But just this weekend we drove only 2 hours to see my grandparents and Carrie had a meltdown about 20 minutes before the end of the trip both ways. That will make for a very tedious 8-hour drive, if we're stopping every 90 minutes...

DH actually mentioned that we might get a portable DVD player for the Disney trip, but I can't imagine that flying and renting a car there would be more expensive than paying for gas, buying a DVD player, and paying for hotels for 2 nights. Oh, and getting meals on the road, too.

Well, I intend to bookmark this thread and revisit the issue with him in a month or two. Thanks again!
Sarah :)

[cmdunn1972]

I haven't taken my own (4 month old) child on any long drives yet, but my parents were "take one driving vacation per year" kinds of people. I grew up in the midwest, so that meant driving 1000+ miles in any direction. (I guess it was cheaper to drive than to fly with 3 kids.) I'm of the opinion that long drives can be done with children, but if you're willing to stop at almost every rest stop, pack a cooler and a tote full of activities, and be willing to sit in the back seat so that you can play games in the car with your DC (such as "let's find all the red cars" and "the alphabet game" on billboards and highway signs and so forth), and take turns between childcare and driving then it should go reasonably well. (Hopefully that won't be a nightmare with your motion sickness.) Of course, we did most of our trips with siblings in the car, so we played a lot of games with each other.

[TraciG]

I personally would NO WAY drive for so many hours/ days with a toddler !!!!!!!!!!!


Let us know what u decide to do !

[PurpleDog]

We're on vacation right now, having just done 13 hours in the car with our 23 month old and 2 month old. DVD it all the way, baby! George was actually pretty great. We had TONS of snacks for him (in his Snack Trap); lots of new short DVDs; lots of new books (soft cover); new small toys; and a brand new cup with a straw. We broke the trip into two days--8 hours the first; six the second. We stopped every two-three hours and let George run around like a lunatic. We'd have a big picnic, etc. The baby was pretty easy, too, except right at the end both days. I had her in her carseat with a "swaddle me" for when she would really get looped. Then we'd put static on the radio and both kids would generally sleep for a while.

Despite this success, however, I would LOVE to be flying home!

Vicki

[PurpleDog]

We're on vacation right now, having just done 13 hours in the car with our 23 month old and 2 month old. DVD it all the way, baby! George was actually pretty great. We had TONS of snacks for him (in his Snack Trap); lots of new short DVDs; lots of new books (soft cover); new small toys; and a brand new cup with a straw. We broke the trip into two days--8 hours the first; six the second. We stopped every two-three hours and let George run around like a lunatic. We'd have a big picnic, etc. The baby was pretty easy, too, except right at the end both days. I had her in her carseat with a "swaddle me" for when she would really get looped. Then we'd put static on the radio and both kids would generally sleep for a while.

Despite this success, however, I would LOVE to be flying home!

Vicki

[ykc]

This has been mentioned lots of times in PPs, but not explicitly:

A 24+ hour drive, when breaks are factored in, will probably become at least a 32+ hour drive. And that's not counting your sleeping hours.

So, when you revisit this issue w/ your husband, don't forget to point out how many hours on the road it will really be! Our "13 hour" drive was actually a 10 1/2 hour drive according to Mapquest. And the longer the drive, the longer the breaks will become. Especially since you'll need to add in 10-15 minutes to tell your child that she's getting back in the car, to try to convince her to go to the car, to carry her to the car, to fight her into the carseat, to hold her down while you buckle her in and she tries to squirm out. Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

[babystuffbuff]

Wow. I remember very clearly taking a trip with my brother when he was 18 months (I was 20 at the time): no DVD for us, either, and the memories of the screaming and crying still make me shudder. If we took him out to stretch his legs at a rest stop, it would be the battle of the century to get him back in his seat. And our trip was only about 10 hours!

Of course, I hate hate hate long car rides, so that might have been part of it. :) My SIL and BIL just drove from Chicago to NJ (about 14 hours) and back with a temper-tantrum-prone 3 1/2 year old and an 11 month old whose favorite activity is RUNNING. They did make it back home in one piece, but I don't know how they did it. I know they drove overnight on the way there. My other SIL drove from Ohio (around 10 hours for her) with her four kiddos, ages 10, 9, 6, and 9 months. And she was by herself on the drive there (her husband flew out to join them in the middle of the week and drove back with them). I guess tolerance for long car rides runs in DH's family??? I know it would drive me batty.

Also, from a practical standpoint, is your vacation really going to be long enough that you can spend 3 days on either end in the car? DH and I just got back from our niece's Christening, and we had to drive 7 hours on Friday and then another 7 hours back on Sunday (a relatively short trip compared to yours!). We were dead on our feet this morning, AND we didn't have any kids with us! I would think that especially with a baby, that kind of a trip needs a good long time at your destination before you turn around to go back.

I would research what the price difference would be (driving vs. flying) once you factor in gas ($2.69 by us right now!), snacks for yourself and your kiddo, hotel costs, etc. I would be very surprised if the prices aren't very close, and it might cost more to drive!!! If your DH really wants to drive just for the fun of it, do what a PP suggested and have him drive while you and DD fly -- save everyone a headache!

Sarah

[ribbit1019]

Oh, I don't know about this one,I agree with PP's, let him drive and you and the baby can fly. lol
We travelled with DD when she was 6 weeks old (approx 18 hour drive) I wouldn't repeat it unless I had too. Even when she was small it was still hard to console her and it was a pain to tend to her basic needs. We had to stop every hour and change her and feed her. These things were easy for me to do at home, but when you have 14 miles between exits and baby poos right after you drive past one, well side of the road changings just aren't my thing. I can imagine it would only get worse when they get older for entertainment purposes.
We are going to FL in October and have chosen to fly because of this reason. I'll take dealing with a 17 mo old for an 2 hr and 20 min flight over 25 hours in the car any day.
Not to say that it is impossible, just sounds like it might be a better idea for you to fly in general with the little one plus the car sickness.
Hopefully, when you and DH revisit the topic flying will be the end result. :)

Christy
Maddy born 06/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Little Peanut due 03/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/K8fum4/.png