Mom's of three or more, which was harder, 1-2 or 2-3?

[MegND95]

I was at the playground yesterday and there were several Mom's standing around who had two kids, the youngest in all cases was an infant in arms. As I was chasing my very active three across the park, I heard them discussing the challenges of going from one to two children. They all agreed how hard it was to now have two kids, and divide time and attention.

I giggled a little to myself, because they were all standing and chatting while I was running, climbing and jumping to keep up with my kids.

Anyway, I was curious to know what others thought about the transition from a man to man defense to the zone.

My oldest two are only 15 months apart, so I never had a chance to adjust to just one child. The next one came along before I could really catch my breath. My life was constant diapers, sleep deprivation and spit-up stained clothes. When our third came along, I had a terrible time re-adjusting my life to accomodate an infant. Prior to his birth, I could be out the door in less than five minutes and carried virtually nothing with me. My kids were becoming independent. Our lives were nicely scheduled. I could spend a fair amount of time devoted to one on one attention with my kids.

Now, I am lucky to spend 5 unintterupted minutes with any child. Getting out the door is an adventure, as is any outing. Multi-tasking is not my strong suit, but a necessity with three kids. Don't get me wrong, our third baby is a blessing and we love him to pieces, but in terms of difficulty, going from two to three really rocked my world.

What have been your experiences??

[newbelly2002]

Now you're scaring me! I'll be moving from 1-3 with no #2 inbetween.

I've heard that the transition from 0-1 was significantly harder than any later transitions. I'm crossing my fingers that that's true.

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/02

[bluej]

I'm with you that going from 2-3 was much more difficult than going from 1-2. I often wonder what the hell I was thinking having a 3rd child (I really do love him to bits and pieces, but he has zapped any and all sanity I use to have). For me I don't think it's so much going from man-to-man to zone defense as it is Ryden is SO different from my other two. I went from having kids who were quiet, reserved, didn't wander far from me (when they were toddlers anyway) to having this child who is so active and runs off without ever looking back and is in to EVERYTHING! I guess I just always assumed that I would have children like me and would never have to deal with the nightmare stories my MIL tells about my DH. I now break into a clammy sweat when my MIL looks at Ryden and then gives me this sympathetic look that tells me I will never rest again. I felt much more organized and 'with it' when he was a newborn and I was sleep-deprived than I do now so I guess this isn't so much of a # of children thing for me, but a wild child thing!

[Calmegja2]

One to two just about did me in.

Two to three, and three to four I handled in good stride.

[skygoddess]

I would say 1-2 was the hardest for me, as my oldest was just 15 months and a new walker and into absolutely everything. Going from 2-3 has been a little easier, as the older two entertain each other while I'm busy with the baby (at least some of the time). Also, I think I'm just more used to the chaos now that happens when you have more than one child.

Nancy
Mom to 3 dd
2002, 2003, 2005

[momathome]

Going from 2-3 was definitely the hardest. When I had #2 (Kasey) Liza was just 3 and not involved in too much yet. When #3 came (Julia) we had a very active schedule for the older 2 between preschool, gymnastics, dance class, playdates, birthday parties - you name it. Dragging a newborn along while trying to nurse and slinging a diaper bag and infant seat just about killed me. It was especially bad on days when Julia slept so poorly the night before - my day started at 6:30 am no matter how bad the night before was. Still feel like we are adjusting over here... :)

[redhookmom]

0-1 was hard, very hard for me. 1-2 was pretty smooth. I have yet to experience 2-3, soon I hope!
I be this has much to do with how old the older children are.

[shishamo]

Hi,
I think it really really depends on the age of the older two and the temperament of each child. I know if I had my kids in a different order (some are high needs, some are super easy going), that would change things a lot!

That said, for me, 2-3 was harder than 1-2, because my middle child is jealous of the baby, which is new to me.