UPDATED:Good thoughts, please!

[psophia17]

We didn't get it :(

The landlord called and said he had a better, larger, place though, one that was only a little more expensive. I'm going to take a look at it, but I'm sure it won't be as good.

When he called, I broke down crying and I think it finally stuck with DH how unhappy I am living here. He's now combing the ads, and has said he'll go look at places and not leave it all on me, since he grew up in this area and I didn't. I'll keep posting about this...hopefully with good news soon.

In the meantime - please keep the good vibes coming - the more the merrier :)

__________________________________________________ _____

If anyone has been following the saga of my having to live with my ILs, tonight we put in the application for what I think is a perfect place for us to live...and I need as many good thoughts helping the app along as I can get.

During the past month or so, I have looked at more than a dozen 2 or more bedroom apartments, and have seen: a purple toilet; gold, orange, and yellow diamond-patterned shag carpet (including around the purple toilet); a LR accessible only through what seemed to be a boiler room; plaster stalactites that the landlord was really proud of inventing; a LR accessible only by passing through both BRs; a kitchen 4 ft wide and 25 ft long; a w/d sharing situation with the washer upstairs in one suite and the dryer downstairs in the other; fuschia walls; rotting cabinets; rotting counters; and all forms of landlords very proud of their "repairs" to make all of this stuff better. The place we applied for has none of these things, and a sewing room/office area.

I need - NEED - to live there. Any help I can get, I'll take, and be forever grateful :)

[hez]

I hope your application is accepted and that this apartment works out splendidly for you!

Good luck!

[HannaAddict]

Hope you get it Petra. Good thoughts are going your way.

Kimberly

[KrisM]

Good luck! I hope you are able to get it.

But, really, what's wrong with a purple toilet? White is so darn boring :).

[alexsmommy]

Positive thought...positive thoughts...positive thoughts.... :)
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[chlobo]

good luck! My thoughts are with you.

[pb&j]

Sending good thoughts your way....

PS Your ticker avatar is hilarious!


-Ry,
mom to Emma, s/b 11/04/04
and Max, edd 01/15/06 - it's a BOY!

http://lilypie.com/days/060115/3/25/1/-5/.png[/img] ([img)

[mudder17]

Sending you lots of good thoughts your way! And I agree with Kris--what's wrong with a purple toilet? ;) (This from a woman who has a black toilet in her black and white bathroom.)

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif , 18 months & counting


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[DebbieJ]

Ooh, that would be SO wonderful!

When do you hear?

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
Breastfed for 20 months and 6 days

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[amp]

Good luck! I don't know how you're going to live without the stalactites, but if that's what you really, really want to do, I'll send good thoughts your way! ;)

[ribbit1019]

Oh Petra!! I hope this is the place!! I know how terribly you want out of your IL's.

Lots and lots of good thoughts on the way North!

Christy
Maddy born 06/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Little Peanut due 03/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/K8fum4/.png

[psophia17]

It wouldn't have been so bad if not surrounded by the shag carpet...purple and gold were my HS colors, and it's just not a combo I can handle in my bathroom :P

[psophia17]

A black toilet sounds like a fab idea...maybe I'll buy some paint :P

[psophia17]

Soon, I hope!

[mommy_someday]

Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts!

Petra, I *really* hope you get this place. I would be a complete basket case if I had to live with ILs that behave the way yours do. I can't wait to find out if you get it so please keep us posted!

And as for the 'decorating sense' of those other landlords...all I can say is EEK! Seriously, who puts a dryer on a completely separate floor from the washer?!? Thats NUTS!

[kijip]

I am SURE you'll get it. No one deserves it more!

As for purple toilets, I have to say it would not be my first choice!!!

[Wife_and_mommy]

I'm crossing my fingers that you're able to get this apartment. It sounds great and better yet, your family will be *alone*. Yay! :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogcrd20040405_4_My+child+is.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev035pb___.png

[southern_kali_gurl]

Good luck! I hope you get the good news soon!

-A
Mommy to AJ 08.25.03

http://b3.lilypie.com/DNNem7/.png

[Corie]

My high school colors were purple and gold too!
Maybe you could hang a HS team pennant behind the toilet
to jazz it up! :)

By the way, Good Luck with your application! I hope
you get the apartment!

[kijip]

Maybe the other place *will* be better? And now that your DH is searching, hopefully some of the pressure will be off you. You really deserve a perfect non-inlaw place to be!

[kijip]

Maybe the other place *will* be better? And now that your DH is searching, hopefully some of the pressure will be off you. You really deserve a perfect non-inlaw place to be!

[almostamom]

Oh Petra, I'm so sorry the place didn't work out for you. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the new place IS even better. :)
~Linda~
DS 11/04

[MarisaSF]

Thinking good thoughts for you, Petra!! It's awesome that your DH is being so supportive.

Curious: how long have you lived with in-laws? I ask because we've lived with my ILs for 2 months now. We will move out after living here for exactly a year (though the option exists to move out sooner if necessary though it would be financially tough). I *think* we've had reasonable expectations and things are going well so far. Are we just honeymooning? Was there a point when your living arrangements soured? ummm... maybe I don't want to know, but I was curious how long you've lived with yours.

[chlobo]

Petra,

I'm so sorry you didn't get it. Keep the faith. When one door closes, a better one opens. Here, here that your DH is finally stepping up to the plate.

[starrynight]

Sending get something good vibes {{{hugs}}}

[ykc]

Oh, too bad! Here's to an even better apartment out there...! (Glad to hear that your husband is being more active in the search too.)

[ribbit1019]

I'm so sorry Petra! That sucks big time.

Hopefully your DH can find something. I am glad that he has woken up and realized how tired you are of living there.

Hopefully something will come your way soon! Lots of good vibes are on their way!

Christy
Maddy born 06/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
Little Peanut due 03/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/K8fum4/.png

[psophia17]

I moved in August 7, 2004, when DS was 8 months old. It has been a year, a month, and a week so far.

It's not so much that the living arrangements soured - I really love my inlaws and they are so welcoming and great to me, I have almost no reason to complain. Even the few issues we did have, mostly with DS's discipline and MIL and FIL feeding DS cookies, juice, and other assorted junk food, were resolved peacefully after short periods of my being really upset about specific instances. The big kicker was when BIL moved in.

Previously, he had lived in a separate section of the house, but didn't really invade my space. He moved out to be closer to his work in January, and stayed out until August, when he had the crap beat out of him, when on medical leave, officially resigned from his job so he could work under-the-table and collect unemployment forever, and moved back in. I got appointed caretaker when he was really injured, and and even though he was well enough to stop taking his meds and go out drinking after 4 days, MIL gives me grief when I shirk caretaker duty now, a full month later. She leaves notes "Please wake up BIL at 3:30, he is going golfing with XYZ today." Add to that that the space he vacated before had become MY living area, and my workspace for my fledgling business, has been returned to him, and the fact that all he does, all day long, is lay on the couch, fart, and stink up the only piece of furniture I own that's not a crib, and then factor in that the whole family, DH included, don't want to tell this jerk (who's 3 weeks younger than me) to get a life, and I'm ready to blow my top pretty much all the time. But when I do, DH doesn't want to hear it because his family has taken me in and I should be grateful and deal with getting yelled at about not emptying the dishwasher and having to cart BIL around, and then launches into comparing BIL's loser reason for moving back in to mine - which, if you want to pick at straws, is DH's fault entirely. But I should be the one feeling grateful and okay with getting lectured about dishes and laundry and cleaning up BIL's mess, since I've got nothing better to do.

Wow...can you tell it's soured and why I need to get out? Seriously, if it wasn't for BIL's presence, I could live with DH's parents indefinitely. I think so long as you have a bit of separate space, aren't the type to hold grudges, and don't have a loser of a BIL like I do, you will be fine for a year - but if you can move out sooner, definitely go for it.

[mudder17]

Oh, geez, that's pretty awful the way it's been put on you to take care of BIL (lazy piece of <fill in the blank>). And shame on your DH for not giving you more support! Yes, it definitely sounds like it's time to move out. Sending you good wishes to find the best place for you all!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif , 18 months, hoping for 2 years


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png

[saschalicks]

Petra,
I'm so so sorry that DH is unsupportive. Yes, you've had a place to live, but you've also done all of things you needed to be a part of the household BEFORE BIL came into the picture. Taking care of his lazy, smelly a$$ was not part of the bargain when moving in. Oh and at least you're trying to start a business, what does he do with his free time? Yes, moving is definitely in the plan.

On the other hand, maybe the other place will be better :)

[psophia17]

Thanks Eileen :)

DH actually is pretty good with being supportive of my disgust with BIL, but there's not a lot he can do, and he's the type who wants to fix things. This is one that he can't fix, and if he tried holy hell would break loose, so on it goes...but he got the idea of how far gone I am when I broke down yesterday.

So it's going to get better - I have faith.

[psophia17]

I have faith it will be...on to post the good news in my world :)