Which approach do you use for changing behavior/discipline, etc?

[jerseygirl07067]

I just started reading two books, Unconditional Parenting, and 1-2-3 Magic. The two seem to have very opposing views, which is why I chose to read them. That way, I can see both points of view, and see what will work best for us and our family. I have to say I always envisioned myself using time outs as all of my friends do, but Unconditional Parenting is giving me a view I never thought of before. I also find myself remembering how I was raised, (constant yelling, threatening, occasional slapping across the face, spanking, etc) and I don't want to repeat that method to my kids.

I don't want to start any debates per se, but I am curious as to which approach you use with your DC.

I did the same thing with baby books, reading ones with opposite points of view, and then took bits and pieces from each that worked for us.

If you also know of any other good books on the subject, feel free to list them!

Marcy

[ellies mom]

We are going the Unconditional Parenting route. I'm sure you noticed though that this book gives you a background and a lens to look through but is short on examples and hand-holding. So if you are interested in that approach check-out any of the books by Jane Nelsen. She has written a bunch of books about what she calls "Positive Discipline" Here is a link to her website, if you want to look around. http://www.positivediscipline.com/ She offers more tools to use, such as a variation of time out called a comfort corner.

Two books I really liked, which do use traditional time-outs but the rest is still excellent, are "Kid Cooperation" by Elizabeth Pantley and "The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting" by Laurence Steinburg. The first book (Pantley) is good because she talks about your anger, taking care of yourself and how expectations color our perceptions. The second (Steinburg), is kind of an overview but shows how your parenting style should evolve as your child grows and has some good developement point as well.

A third book, I highly recommend is "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky Bailey. This book is has a lot to do with learning how to discipline yourself as well, and when it is offering examples, it shows parents messing up along the way as well as.

I also cannot recommend enough, no matter which approach you choose it the "Your XXX Year Old" series by Louise Ames. There is one book for every year. It really helps you learn where your child is developmentally. One thing that goes a long ways in disciplining your child it to have some understanding of what are reasonable expectations for your child at a given age.

Anyhow, I hope this long drawn out explanation helps. You can always take a lot of these books out of the library and then only buy the ones that really speak to you.