Any lawyers or spouses of lawyers? (long)

[essnce629]

I need you to tell me what to expect in the next couple of years. My boyfriend just took the LSAT on the 1st (he'll get his score next Monday) and is applying to law school right now and will hopefully be starting full time next fall. He studied his *ss off for the test and was taking one of the past LSATs every other day for the entire month before his exam, and was scoring between 168 and 175 when he went in for real LSAT. Based on his scores preceding the real exam, I'm sure he did well. Right now he's in school at USC, and hopes to either go to USC's law school or UCLA (which he thinks is a stretch). He loves Los Angeles and wants to end up working there. I, however, am in San Diego. I was also a USC student, but after Conner was born I was forced to leave school and come back home to San Diego to live with my mother. My boyfriend and I have never lived together, but if he gets into a school in L.A. we've decided it would probably be best for me and Conner to move up there with him (the weekend commute from L.A. to S.D is really annoying and so is living with my mother in a tiny 2 bedroom house). I just don't think our relationship could survive another 3+ years living apart. If I do move up there it won't be until next year, probably in early summer, a few months before he starts school. Once there, I'd have to stop being a SAHM and will need to work full time in order to support myself (I have lots of student loans to pay off) and Conner will start preschool (he'll be almost 3 by then). My boyfriend's finances will all be taken care of (his family is very well off) so he won't need to work to get through school. My question is how hard is it to maintain a relationship while one person is in law school? Will I ever see my boyfriend again or will he be locked away studying long hours into the night? Can I forget about him helping at all around the house and with Conner? Will he have any time to even spend with our son? Even though I'll have to work full time doing something (I don't know what since I never finished my nursing degree), my ultimate goal is to become a midwife and I plan on starting a distance midwifery course once we're all settled. My plan to start midwifery school has been put on hold for 3 years and I really don't want to put it on the back burner again. So if anyone has gone through law school or is the spouse of a lawyer, how difficult is/was it with a family? And can I expect law school to be the most difficult time or does that come after graduation once he gets his first job? The thought of having a husband that may one day work 12+ hours a day, who never gets to spend time with his family, makes me shudder. All I want is for us all to be happy and can care less about the money. Any advice or words of wisdom?

***Latia
Conner 8/19/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aug2003angel
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif Self-weaned at 24 months! http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/9870.gif

[miki]

I think a lot really depends on your BF and what kind of goals he has. I had plenty of time for a social life in law school. But I also did not go into law school thinking I wanted to clerk for a Supreme Court Justice and my school was ranked high enough that you could count on a job if you just got decent but not necessarily great grades.

If he is planning on going into private practice at a law firm in LA, working will be worse than school. Many firms have billable hours requirements and partners expect you to be available for late hours and weekends. My husband has always been in private practice and he's been practicing for 8 years. On a short day, he leaves in the morning and doesn't get back home for at least 12 hours. On long days, he doesn't come home until the next evening. M-F DD sees her dad only when he's getting ready for work and sometimes right before bed. He's taken 1 day off all year. At really busy times, he also spends Sat/Sun at the office.

On the other hand, I worked in government service which is much more family-friendly. I got to take all my scheduled vacations and when I worked in the federal govt I generally had very regular and predictable hours.

[nov04]

I'm not a spouse or a lawyer myself, but the description of private practice is very accurate in our experience. dd's godmother (corporate practice) lives in her office sometimes.

[murpheyblue]

When I went through law school I started out with non-law school roommates and ended up living with my DH in my third year. I didn't have a child which obviously is a major issue that you will be dealing with so I can't speak to that part of the equation.

I think how people deal with law school is highly personal. Some people are study bugs and spend hours in the library with study groups. Others don't. It's totally dependent on the school's culture and an individual’s personal philosophy and preferences.

It also depends on what your BF wants at the end of the day. If he wants the type of big firm job that goes to those at the top of the class then, yes, he will have to work hard and study a lot. Law school is curve based so it's all about keeping up with the Jones.

I went to a good school and I graduated with honors. I personally did not have any major issues balancing a relationship and school but I'm also not a big study group, hours in the library kind of gal.

[saschalicks]

Latia,
I come from a long line of Lawyers. Both of my parents are Lawyers, my mom went when she was 41 (I was 12). We never saw her b/c she went part time at night. She studied during the day and therefore I was essentially motherless. Yes there are issues that I still have, but overall she did an amazing thing.

I met DH when he was between years 2 and 3 of law school and he too went PT (4 years total) b/c he had to work FT during the day. Weekdays were my own and I didn't have a DC like you do. I never really minded the whole not seeing him during the week, b/c I knew he wasn't out "playing". He studied on the weekends a lot and so we spent evenings on weekends together when we could.

I do see how having a child could make it more difficult for someone, but here's my take on your situation. You don't see BF now during the week, don't you think if you were in the same city it might make an evening or two possible when that isn't the situation now? Also, if he's going FT he'll be going to classes during the day, you'll be working anyway and DS will be in school. I just think that if you're not in the same city even weekends may not happen as they do now. Law school is hard to get away from for a weekend at a time, but a few hours can be manageable. It greatly depends on your BF's commitment to both school and you.

I should say studying for the bar is when all bets are off. I didn't see my DH for 3 months and I was OK with that. I knew that it was temporary.

On another note: I'm here in LA (yes I actually live in the City) if you have any questions please e-mail me any time.

[murpheyblue]

>I should say studying for the bar is when all bets are off. I
>didn't see my DH for 3 months and I was OK with that. I knew
>that it was temporary.


ITA with this. I studied like a fiend for the bar and thankfully my DH and his buddy had aspirations to ride their bikes across the country that summer. I have no idea how I would have studied if he was home.

[jesseandgrace]

I had no trouble juggling, and I did very well in law school. I did however have friends who studied all the time, so it is a personality thing. I got married in law school, had a baby in law school, and managed everything pretty easily. I am not a huge overachiever though, so I was able to be more relaxed about things. The bar was another story, I studied all day, and that was a little hard as ds was about one and a half. But, that is pretty far in your future! The first semester of the first year will be the hardest for you/for him. Law school is just a new way of looking at things and studying, and it can be overwhelming at first. Right before the first set of exams people are usually freaking out because there is just no way to know if you are going to do well or not. During that time he will probably be all about law school, but after that things calm down and second and third year tend to be much more low key. But, again for people that are very intense law school can really bring that out. You CAN study all the time if you want, but for the most part I think it is just much easier than it is made out to be.

[wagner36]

I think a lot of it will depend on what kind of learner he is, how he reacts in high-stress situations when all of his peers are total stress-cases, and how well he can budget his time.

I went to a top tier law school and now work for a big firm in Chicago. For me, law school wasn't very stressful unless it was during finals or before a paper was due. My first year I studied hard, but I looked at it like a job. I basically went to school 9-5 or 9-6 and then took the rest of the time off. During finals and leading up to finals, I studied constantly. I am an excellent crammer, and very good at retaining lots of information in a short period of time, so that works for me. Other people need to be more disciplined - that is just a question of learning style. A lot of law school is hype, IMO, exams aren't that hard once you figure out what they are looking for (issue spotting exams vs. in-depth analysis) and if you are efficient with notes, outlining, etc., you can save a lot of time. The biggest hurdle, especially during your first year, is staying away from people who stress you out. ILs feed on stress, so getting away is very important. I rarely studied at my own law school, but would find other places to study where it wasn't so nervewracking.

After my first year, I rarely went to class, so all of my time was free, LOL, but I already had my job lined up for after graduation. It wasn't so much that I was a slacker (though that too), but that I knew my learning style (visual/spatial, not an auditory learner), so class wasn't as useful for me (or so I convinced myself, LOL). I had great grades my third year, but part of that was that I had learned the system, YKWIM?

I studied for the bar for about 2 weeks, but that is not the norm. I'm still fairly surprised that I passed. I wouldn't recommend that for the CA bar at all, which is known to be quite tough (although some argue that is just because a lot of non-law school grads take it, I'm not sure how it works).

As far as working for a big firm, if that is his goal, your BF will work a lot as a young associate and the size of his firm. Quite a bit of it will depend on what type of law he practices. I work a great deal, especially during certain times of the year. It is not uncommon for me not to see Charlie other than 20 minutes in the morning for a week at a time. Granted, my DH stays home so he'll bring him for lunch or dinner, but it still happens. When I'm not busy, I can "work" at home all week, but my firm isn't so big on 'face time' - which can be an issue at other firms.

I'm totally rambling - I hope that helps!


ETA: I rarely work on weekends - maybe one or two days a year.

[g-mama]

Latia,

My dh was about halfway through law school when he and I met and began dating. We lived in the same town, about a 10-minute drive away from each other. He worked full-time during the day and went to law school part-time for four years, Monday thru Thursday nights from about 6-10 pm.

He was like some others have said, a little bit more relaxed. He did skip a lot of classes but said that he rarely did this his first two years, he kinda loosened up his standards by his third and fourth years. He's that kind of guy, though, not real hard core and is great at cramming and staying up all night if need be and doing great. So if he didn't go to class, I'd usually go to his place and he'd read/study while I watched TV, read a book, or whatever. Weekends were the same way. He had more free time and we did go out and to restaurants and on dates, but much of our time together was spent with me hanging out while he studied. Sounds pretty lame, but hey, we were young and in love. :P

Now he works as an attorney in private practice and it's a lot. He is willing to sacrifice alot as family is very important to him. He typically works from about 9-6pm at the office, gets home around 7, sees the boys for a couple of hours, then resumes working from our home office from about 10pm til 1 or 2 in the morning. Before kids, he'd come home around 9pm, but now he's just not willing to give up seeing the kids so he works his schedule the way he does. Of course, there are plenty of times he can't leave the office and doesn't see them, or weekends where he has to work but generally can do it at home and will stay up late each night rather than spend his days at the office.

So really I guess I'm saying is it depends on what you feel his commitment to you is and what his work/study style is. I think if he really wants to make it work, he can. But I agree that the first year would be the hardest. And while studying for the bar...fuggedaboutit!



Kristen
Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
and a *THIRD BOY* coming in December '05

[DebbieJ]

I have no idea about law school, but the most excellent midwife I know is in LA. She helped me deliver my son and is always helping other women get started in the profession. We have since moved out of state but I told her I'd fly her here to Chicago to deliver the next baby.

Email me for her contact info.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
Breastfed for 20 months and 6 days

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[August Mom]

I think you need to have a heart to heart with your boyfriend and find out what his goals are for law school and after.

As PPs have said, a lot depends on the law school that your boyfriend attends, whether his goal is to be at the top of the class or if he's okay being in the middle, whether he wants to do private practice or government work or public interest law or whatever.

The first year of law school was the most intense, I think. You are getting used to the whole process, some professors really stress you out and there is usually only a final, so you have a lot of pressure on you to achieve well on a single test (which will determine your grade, affect your ability to make law review, etc.).

In the second and third years, it's less intense IME. You can take some classes with papers and projects rather than just 1 test. Plus, you have a better handle on how things work. However, there are more extracurricular things to do - moot court, clinics, other competitions, etc. So, it depends.

I'm someone who studied a lot. I generally went to class during the day, came home in the late afternoon and relaxed until after dinner and then studied until midnight or 1 a.m. There is a lot of reading to do and you need to be familiar with the cases in the assignment.

The other thing is that some people really hate law school, so that increases the stress level and makes it for a difficult time. However, some weird people like me really enjoyed it.

I dated DH during law school, but he also was a student there. He had lots more free time than me, but he wasn't a slacker. He just had a different study style than me and had almost no extracurricular activities. I'm not sure what it would be like to date a law student and not be one yourself. I think it would be hard. I don't think you can really count on him to spend a lot of time with you and your child, but I think you need to work that out with him and see what his expectations are. Perhaps he could always set aside a few hours each day to do that. It's not impossible. There were married couples I knew in law school who just made it work.

After graduation, it really depends on type of practice, size of firm and firm culture. You can easily work 12 hour days at a large private firm, especially in a big city like LA. And, if he's a litigator, you really can't adjust your schedule if you are gearing up for trial.

[kath68]

Late to the party here (b/c I am at my office at 9:30 pm tonight -- what does that tell you about a lawyer's life?).

What everyone has said above is right, IMO. The only thing I have to add is that in my humble observation, in addition to personality (how one handles stress, how one learns, how into study groups one is, how organized one is), age makes a difference in how people approach law school. You don't say how old you/BF are. I was 28 when I started law school. I got married in the first year. Didn't have kids until I was out for five years.

I found law school to be much easier than working at the job I had before law school. As pp said, I treated it like a job -- 8-6, and the rest of the time was mine. I liked school, esp. after I figured out what the game was (by the middle of the second semester is when the stress leveled out for me). Beats working. But I also already had an established network of friends outside of law school, so I didn't get into the gossipy, high stress, highly competitive social aspect of law school. I worked 20hrs/week my 3rd year, and still had a life. I went to class, but didn't study much otherwise -- that's how I learn. A large part of my keeping my sanity was having an established life outside of law school that kept me grounded.

As for preschool, the campus might have great daycare associated with it -- mine did, even though I never had to use it.

The three stages of law -- law school, the bar exam and work are all related, but require completely different skills. Law school is about figuring out how to think, the bar exam is a marathon -- and learning how to retain and regurgitate a ton of material, and working is all about professional skills which you never learned in law school. The summer I studied for the bar was the best in my life. Again, I studied like it was a job, and the rest of the time I worked out, played softball, drank lots of sangria, and got good sleep.

Work all depends on what BF wants to do with his career. For that, as pps said, you need to talk to him. But he may not know until he is out of law school and actually practicing law. Chances are, though, the hours will be long. It is good that his finances are taken care of. The student loans can really limit your choices.

Good luck! Cracks me up, btw, that all of us lawyers had to give really long responses! Go figure.

[kijip]

Sounds exciting! I can't tell you a lick about law school or being married to a lawyer but I wanted to offer you some support as a fellow younger, student-mama (I also was out of school full-time for sometime after Toby was born, as was my husband). I would not want to move long distance for a relationship unless I was sure it was a committment and I was sure that my own needs as far as family and school were met. If you guys move into campus housing or something, would it be possible that you could work part-time and go to school or midwifery school too? If you are working part-time and are in school, perhaps you could get a subsidy for childcare and a scholarship for schooling expenses? Maybe finish your nursing degree and get into midwifery? Just ideas, but it is worth seeing how this transition could benefit you and Connor in a concrete way. I would hate to see your plans go on the back burner for 3 to 5 more years! Have a heart to heart with him and make a 3 year or 5 year plan togehter so that everyone's needs are met. Good luck! Again, it sounds like a great, wonderful chance to start a new chapter in your life.

[essnce629]

Thanks so so much for all of your replies! I'm so glad we have so many lawyers on the board :). I'm sure you'll be hearing more from me as time goes by.

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years (yes we got pregnant within the 1st month of dating, oops!) We met in school (he was my best friend's neighbor) and he's 23 and I'm 24-- so we're pretty young. We've had a few rocky moments in the past (which makes sense due to our start), but we are committed to working things out and staying together. He is an excellent father and boyfriend, even though he feels bad for not being able to spend as much time with us as he'd like. We don't have any plans to get married right now, but he knows that I won't move in with him without some sort of future plan set up. We've talked about marriage but both agree we'd want to wait until we are both out of school and have real jobs. Also, his grandparents (which have all the money and pay for his schooling, etc) aren't fond of me or the fact that we have a child (grandpa's racist) so who knows what they would do if we got married any time soon. They may even try to cause some problems when they find out we plan to live together, but my bf has already said he'd take out loans if they decide to cut him off financially. But luckily they're far away in CT so we don't have to deal with them very often.

I don't think my bf knows what area of law he's interested in yet. His degree is in journalism with a minor in english and political science and he's also very interested in politics. Before we met, he was on track to becoming a journalist (he's a great writer), but after Conner was born law school seemed like a much better career choice to him so he switched gears. All of his friends back home (Greenwich, CT) also come from well-to-do families and are on the road to becoming lawyers as well. But they're all single and childless and have goals to work in private practice and I think my boyfriend feels like he should do the same since he comes from the same type of background (although I think he knows it's not as realistic in his case). He sometimes talks about how hard it is up until you "make partner" (is this right?), but I'm not really sure what he means. Is this having to do with private practice?

About his study habits-- he's never taken part in a study group ever, although I could see him studying at the library in order to get things done without having any additional distractions (he sometimes does that now). But he's definately a procrastinator, crammer, and tends to skip classes if he doesn't feel like he's learning anything from the teacher. But he does buckle down when it comes to papers and midterms, and we took a month off of seeing each other the month before the LSAT so he could study (which I was perfectly fine with).

Right now, we would both love for him to get into UCLA since we just found out that they have excellent and very affordable family housing and great award-winning childcare facilities, while USC is not in a very family-friendly area and their family housing is non-existent. If he ends up at USC he'd have to commute (since we've decided we do not want to raise Conner in that area) and boy does L.A. traffic suck! And there's no Whole Foods or Trader Joes anywhere near USC and there's no way we could live without those stores any more :).

With me, I'm thinking of getting certified as a postpartum doula as a way to work while completing a midwifery program (3-4 years). Being a postpartum doula is a lot more flexible than a birth doula since you never have to be on call and you can make your own hours (nights only, weekends, etc). I know a lot of midwifery students work as postpartum doulas (rather than birth doulas) for this reason.

Thanks again for all your advice and I will definately talk to my boyfriend more about his goals and plans for the future.

***Latia
Conner 8/19/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aug2003angel
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif Self-weaned at 24 months! http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/9870.gif

[August Mom]

>He sometimes talks about how hard it is up until
>you "make partner" (is this right?), but I'm not really sure
>what he means. Is this having to do with private practice?

Yes. He's talking about private practice. A lot of this depends on the size of firm and the culture of the firm. However, large firms in large cities are notorious for having really large billable hour requirements and giving newer associate attorneys less desirable work. Remember too that billable hours are not just the hours that you spend at the office, but hours that you can charge a client. Your billable hours will be less than the number of hours you spend at work. It depends on the type of work he does, but, for example, in litigation, associates do a lot of discovery work. So, he could be sorting through boxes and boxes of documents for days at a time. It's really not very fun and many times doesn't seem very meaningful. The other thing you do a lot of is research and writing. It takes several years in a large firm to actually feel like you know what you are doing and have some substantial responsibility for a case. Also, at some firms face time is important, where you are expected to be there on Saturday or late in the evening so partners see you working. I think this is rather stupid, but nonetheless can be important in some firms.

Here's another thing for BF to think about - does he really want to be a lawyer or does that just seem like what he's supposed to do? There are way too many people who go to law school just because they don't know what to do or because it seems like what they should do and generally those people hate it there and don't like practicing. If he really wants to be a journalist, then that's what he should do. Law is an acquired taste and it's definitely not for everyone.

Some firms are more family-friendly. Definitely smaller and mid-size firms tend to be more family-friendly than large firms. But, the pay is less usually. DH works for a small - mid-size firm of 12 attorneys and works from around 8:30 - 6:15 each day. He works some evenings and weekends, but most of the time brings those things home with him. He is a transactional attorney (puts together contracts, mergers, that sort of thing) which, IME, allows a more predictable schedule, although it can be busy at the end of the year or when a deal has to close by a certain date. As a ligitator when not in trial, I generally had a similar schedule. I worked for a large regional firm that was known for being more family-friendly. Our billable hour requirement was 200 hours less/year than most other firms in the area. However, when in trial I was once there until midnight and then back the next day at 6:00 a.m. A litigator's schedule is more volatile. Andy, you might have to travel more to do depositions, meet with experts, etc., which takes you away from home and family.

[ddmarsh]

ITA with much that's been said by PP which can be summed up as it depends on so many factors :). To a great extent I think it's hard to say until he is in the thick of things and he is able to see how he does, likes it, etc. Also remember that to hinge alot on this is a bit of a gamble since there is generally a large drop-out rate in the first year.

I personally found it challenging, but not terribly so. I had two small children when I started and had a 3rd part-way through. I went to classes at night and did my reading when I could during the day. I had occasional sitter help during finals, but rarely so.

Good luck -

[aliceinwonderland]

If he scores on the actual LSAT in the range you mentioned his practice tests were, he should have no trouble getting into UCLA, esp. if his GPA (he should know that number now from the LSAC) is decent too.

Look, I'm not going to lie and tell you law school has been easy for me. I go to a top 10 school, and I feel like the first year was nothing short of traumatic for me. I realise now that I was suffering from PPD at least the first semester too, but at the time I felt like I could not stop and think and deal with it, only now I realise this. (DS was 4 months when i started). And mind you I am not at the top of my class, just blissfully mediocre right in the middle. But I am also the only woman in my section with a baby, so definately not your traditional student :) And, to put it in perspective, I do not come from a priviledged background at all, I was working two jobs at 60+ hours a week BEFORE starting law school, etc.

But, only the first year sucks. I second what Tara and others said to STAY away for the freak-outs. I study in a very isolated spot in the library, put my headphones on even when not listening to music so that people do not bother me with their excessive paranoia! I have an excellent job lined up now already, so I am very close to checking out entirely, though I am trying to go to class and do the reading, etc. the 3ls here seem even more checked-out ;)

As hard as the first year was on me, I think it was even harder on my husband, who had to 1. manage my anxiety, 2. take care of our son more that his "fair" share, etc.3 have his needs pretty much be ignored or be acknoledged on a very haphzard manner! To illustrate, I was having trouble with my pumping supply (it was totally psychological, I had plenty of milk but it would just not let down. I was never able to overcome this), and had no time to go see an LC. He went and saw the LC for me, bought me a different pump, which he washed for me everyday (I hated the pump and did not want to see it more than was neccesary), etc.
But, he never got resentful and we almost never fought, despite having other stressors, mainly financial (which it sounds like you won't have). This is ONLY because we knew very well what we were getting into, we had talked at length about it. I knew I was competing with students who had NOTHING else going on, no job, no boyfriend, nothing, but school. And we also view law school NOT as me meeting my personal goals, but as the best thing we can do right now for the family. Which helps.

Private practice I can't adress as I have not done tht yet. But again, it's very hard, and we know what we're getting into. There is many, many divorced and alcoholic lawyers, FYI. But the great thing about a decent legal education is that you can do whatever you wnat, go to a big firm, go to a mid size or small firm, eventually go in-house, etc.
If your BF has political aspirations he will likely want to do a federal clerkship which means grades will matter even if he ends up going to Yale. But again, there's options. The only thing I suggest is a nice, long chat about expectations.
Email me if you want :)

[kijip]

Oh! I did not realize that your boyfriend was the father of your child. So presumbably he would be helping (with his own or family money) with Connor's expenses, including living. Sounds like a great transition for the whole family.

[saschalicks]

I can't agree more. It is so much personality. My DH could only study so much. He never was the study all of the time type. He definitely knew how to balance.

[niccig]

I meant to post last night, but DH came home.

You've been given great advice from people who have experienced law school. I have a different perspective. Before being a STAHM I was a law librarian at UCLA.

Students had different approaches to study. Some would be in the library all day every day, then there would be others who we would never see. Large amounts of research can be done online through various legal publishers (Lexis, Westlaw are the 2 biggies), and law students can access this from home - they all get their own passwords (some limitations). So it is possible to not step inside the library, much to the dismay of the librarians as this is the only time we actually interact with the students. Many students bring their laptops to the library, access Westlaw or Lexis online, and just use the library as a quiet study place. It is a great place to study as it is quiet and there just for the law students. So your BF could do a large amount of his reading/research from home (but he would be locked away in his room)or go to the library for a quiet study place. It will depend on his study style.

Despite being able to do many things from home, my advice is to not avoid the library or the librarians. I have seem so many students waste their valuable time with ineffecient and ineffective research strategies. Go ask the librarian -that's what they are there for. Most reference librarians are eager to help. Personally, the most frustrating part of my job was hearing students complain how they couldn't find anything and the library didn't have what they needed, when we did. They didn't know how to access it. IMO the librarians are an under utilized resouce by all students - law or non-law.

PP are spot on with avoiding the worry worts at law school. They get very worked up, and sometimes it's deliberate to stress out other students.

Another PP was correct in saying that your BF should be sure he wants to study law. I've seen so many students who loathe it, and either drop out or stay because they've already committed so much time and energy. This is also personal experience - I have a law degree and a masters in library science, as do most law librarians, not everyone goes on to practice.

DH works in editing in the entertainment industry. Most days he only gets 1 hour with DS in the morning. On some projects he's never home. It's something we just have to deal with. And you will find a way.

Good luck to the three of you.

Nicci

ETA UCLA has a course that runs for a few weeks on a saturday to introduce people to the idea of law school. I'm not sure who could attend. I was involved with explaining the library and legal research. I think the aim of the course was to show off the law school and encourage people to apply there. Get your BF to check it out, as it may be something he can do to make sure this is what he wants. I can find out more information if you like.

[miki]

Latia,

Just wanted to add that if your BF is thinking of traveling the same road as his prep school friends from CT, he needs to take a hard look at why he wants to do it. My guess is that if he and his friends came from families that are financially well off, the kind of lawyer they are familiar with is the type working at a big firm in NYC. That's the sort that can afford to move their families to Greenwich. In that large firm atmosphere, doing your time as an associate is hard but being a partner at a reputable, well regarded firm is even harder. Being a partner means you get to share in the firm's profits but you are also working on the most complex issues, you bear the responsibility for cases/deals going wrong, you have to bring in more business, etc. Plus, these days, the partnership track at many of these big firms is getting longer. It could be 8-10 years before an associate is offered partnership.

Most of my friends went into private practice. I only know 1 who really enjoys the work. Everyone else has either gotten out or are just counting down, exit strategy already worked out, until they've paid down their loans enough to quit.

Really, as PPs said, you guys have a long talk. Encourage him to reach out to alumni, friends of the family, his own friends who work as lawyers and talk with them about their work and their lives. Law school is so completely different from being a lawyer. It's a huge investment of time only to realize after graduation that he would have preferred going with journalism.