My mother thinks DD is a genius, and it gets on my nerves.

[Moneypenny]

So, grandma is completely enamoured of her granddaughter (as she should be) and is convinced she is some kind of genius. Now, of course I think DD (15 months) is particularly smart, but I realize that I feel that way because I'm her mother. DD and I spent the weekend with grandma and she kept asking me what DH and I planned to do for school for her because she is "scary smart". Yes, she has a large vocabulary and she did see my mom's telephone and pretend to hold it to her ear and said "Hi!", but I do not think that's the stuff of genius, LOL. The kid still can't figure out how to stand herself up, so even though she's a champ at walking we have to help her get up. I said we were going to send her to that genius school where each kid gets a helper to pick them up off the floor so they can walk to class.

Do other people's relatives think this way? Should I encourage it, discourage it? I'm not sure why this bothers me, but maybe I'm afraid my mom will have unreasonable expectations and then be disappointed if DD turns out to be average (which I would be thrilled with as long as DD is happy). Or maybe she'll put undue pressure on DD...I don't know. Does anyone else deal with this or is my family just abnormally weird?
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
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[ribbit1019]

Ugh, my mom does the same thing. She even had DD sign for people to "show" them how smart she is. Now don't get me wrong, she is smart IMHO, but sometimes it gets old hearing it from the doting grandma.
I would say that it is a little early to worry about it too much. If you notice your mom putting pressure on your DD to do things she isn't ready for, or if she pushes schooling early, I would assert yourself on those indirect topics. A little lavished attention from the g-mama doesn't hurt, and can sometimes help if a child is discouraged about learning something new. Eventually and hopefully your mom will realize that she needs to lay it on a little less thick.

Christy
"My Mommy" to Maddy born 06/09/04
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[saschalicks]

Oh Susan you are so not alone. My mother's thing since DS was born has been that everything he does is "a sign of intelligence". My mom & dad brag to EVERYONE how DS is signing (which I think is cute). My mom continually reminds me that it's tough being the mom to a genius (b/c my younger brother really is a genius). It's annoying and cute all at the same time. DH always says you know he isn't doing anything out of the ordinary for his age. I mean he just started walking so please, lets reserve the genius comments for when he excels in school.

[jhaud]

my MIL is good for this... but she rarely sees dd, so there are always leaps and bounds of development. of course dh is also this way and his descriptions of things to his family don't help (ie - taking a few steps with his hand holding her up was "she walked")

i just try to ignore it - until i think it may affect dd!

jennifer

[kath68]

I am going through the same thing, too, and it drives me nuts. My mom is particularly bad this way. Is it genius to stick your fingers up your nose and peas in your ears? According to my mom it is.

Part of the problem for us is that DH is/was a true kid genius -- chess prodigy, reading at two y.o. that kind of thing. And DS's twin cousins are definitely "scary smart." So mom is constantly comparing, analyzing and proclaiming that DS's newest behavior is proof for sure that DS is intellectually superior. I always try to downplay her comments and redirect the conversation. She is getting the message that I don't want to talk about it, esp. when DS is in earshot. It just seems so inappropriate to be constantly analyzing his activities for proof of genius.

DH will be the first to tell you that it stinks to be singled out as a prodigy. It's not like it is a one-way ticket to happiness or success in life. There are a lot of unhappy and dysfunctional geniuses out there. It puts a lot of unecessary pressure on a kid. It is hard enough being a toddler without that kind of pressure, IYKWIM! And the thing is, I can already see that DS pushes away from his grandmother more than other people in his life. I have to think that the pressure from her is part of that.

Don't get me wrong -- I think DS is brilliant (like any mom), and I am proud as anything that his speech is coming along nicely, and he is even starting to count. And honestly, after DS is asleep DH and I have secret conversations about how amazing DS is. But I am equally proud that he is a nice kid and plays well with others. Those interpersonal skills are sooooo important, and get him through some tough times that the "genius" skills won't.

I am trying just to follow DS's lead -- whatever he is interested in, we will do. Except for putting peas in ears. I try not to encourage that. :)

So, you are not alone, and IMO there is only so much you can do about your mom. I would just try to keep the "genius" talk to a minimum when DD is in the room.

[Sarah1]

I think every grandparent thinks their grandkid is a genius!