Educate me about co-sleeping, please!

[MommyAllison]

DH and I never planned on co-sleeping but I guess we forgot to tell DD that. :) We still are not going to do it long term but for now it is usually our best chance at getting sleep at night! So, I need to know how to make it as safe as we can (DH is very nervous that he'll roll on her, she'll smother in the bed etc.) Everything I've read seems to point towards just sleeping on a mattress with a fitted sheet though - no pillows, blankets, comforter, etc. Not so practical for winter, not to mention the fact that DH and I like to pull the covers up to our chins! So what I've been trying to do is keep the covers on my side of the bed only waist high and laying on my side w/DD snuggled up next to me well below my pillow. I've also tried sleepng on top of the covers w/a blanket wrapped tightly around me up to armpit level, and DD snuggled next to me. I would try a Moses basket in between us but we only have a queen size bed (although DH and I are both small enough we could probably fit it) and I don't think DD would like it - she wants to be touching me. She isn't sleeping with us every night or all night, just one or two in-between-nursing-sessions. Any advice is much appreciated!

Allison

[brittone2]

I'm not an expert by any stretch but I'll tell you what we did (we also didn't plan on cosleeping although I wasn't opposed...I thought DS would sleep in a bedside bassinet but he had other plans).

We did use blankets as DS was born in February. What I did was firmly tuck the sheets and comforter under the mattress each night so that it only came to waist height. I did occasionally cover up with a lightweight crocheted afghan or something similar if it was really cold because I didn't worry too much DS would smother in it.

We tried a snuggle nest but didn't like it. It might be worth considering for your situation though. Another idea is the arm's reach cosleeper. DS was definitely into curling up to me so he didn't like the barrier on the snuggle nest and I found it easier to nurse in sidelying (once we were able) without having to worry about it.

My DH has always been a rather heavy sleeper. He worried a bit initially but is now probably one of the world's biggest colseeping advocates. You definitely develop a sense of where the baby is in bed, and when they are small they tend to curl right up to mom pretty closely.

We did use pillows, but what I did was to use small pillows in the beginning (more like throw/toss pillow size. As he got older we used our pillows but made sure he was too low to be near them, and I usually tucked it into the headboard so that it stayed primarily over the edge of the bed (to the side) and I had just enough to put my head on. I am a very very light sleeper though so I was often able to wake up and reposition DS a few times so he would stay out of the way of the pillows.


So...I'm not saying what we did was the safest or most correct way but for us it struck a balance between comfort and safety that we were okay with. I'm sure there is also info on www.askdrsears.com if you haven't checked there already. Obviously we all want to be safe with our kids but I dont' think most people who cosleep do so without any blankets or pillows for any length of time. THe "rules" IMO just give you things to think about and they are also CYA recommendations to a point too I'm sure.

[smilequeen]

We started with an Arms Reach cosleeper and a snuggle nest. To be honest, DS ended up sleeping on top of me a lot at first. I second the reccommendation for Dr. Sears site to give you the run down on the safer ideas. I really liked my Arms Reach. I was sad when DS outgrew it, but by then I wasn't as worried about him being in bed with us anymore.

[dotgirl]

We also didn't plan to cosleep with either child, but wound up doing it for about 4 months with each of them.

Both the ArmsReach and the SnuggleNest weren't options because DD and DS would only sleep when curled *right* up against me.

DS was born in November, in Seattle, and we live in a 80+ year old house that tends to get cold at night. So basically I froze to death.

I wound up sleeping on my side, with my back to DH, and DS curled up against me. I slept with a very small pillow that stayed well away from DS and kept the blankets at about waist high. I wore jammies with an extra sweater or thermal top, and that was usually enough.

[kransden]

We used a snuggle nest and flannel pjs. I would get a co-sleeper if I have another child. DH is a heavy sleeper, he would have rolled on the baby and almost did. So I never slept until I found the snuggle nest.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[MarisaSF]

Well.. it was summer when my DD was born, so i don't have much advice for blankets. I *do* however have strong opinion about the Snuggle Nest. IMO, it would be okay if you have a King bed, but it took up so much room in our Queen, that we only used it about twice. What worked a little better for the early months was the Dex 3-in-1 sleep positioner. It gave enough of a barrier that we wouldn't very easily roll onto it, she slept well in it, and it wasn't as wide or long as the SN.
Good luck and HUGE congrats on the birth of Isabelle!

[tippy]

From what I remember reading (we did this too but ds will be 3 in January so)...Obviously common sense goes a long way. I remember reading that if you are drinking, you probably should put the baby in the bassinet for the night.(more danger of rollover) or if you are a smoker the risk is greater for some reason or another. Maybe someone here will be more enlightened than I apparently am not!
Teva
Mom to AJ born 1-8-03