I've been trying not to worry, but why is my son SO small?

[deborah_r]

2.5 year old DS is still not at 25 pounds. I'm not sure of his height...I think between 34-35". He is barely a size 6 shoe. He is very obviously smaller than all of the boys we know who are his age (and lots of younger boys are bigger than him). There are some girls in his playgroup that are his size or smaller.

DH and I were kind of pushing for his daycare to move him up to the next group (some kids his age have moved up already), but I kind of got nervous seeing him around all of those much bigger children when we did a couple trial runs, and now I've just been ignoring the issue and letting him stay in the younger group. But he seems ahead of most of the kids in his group as far as learning. Like he's known all his letters and lots of numbers since about 21 months. He is now doing 48 piece jigsaw puzzles at home, and can do the USA puzzle and identify almost every state. He can identify about any make of car we see on the road, and of course can identify about 30-40 different Thomas trains. He can also do pretty well playing those "memory match" games (think "Concentration")

So I don't want to hold him back, but the size thing really worries me. Socially he is a little hesitant, but he has been hesitant about lots of things. His way is to hang back and check things out, before he decides if he wants to do something. The daycare keeps mentioning that when we talk about moving him up, but I think some kids are just that way, and I think it takes all kinds of personalities to make up a good class. I don't see that as a reason to hold him back.

DH and I were both usually the smallest kid, and now I'm almost 5'4" and DH is maybe 5'8". I know it's normal for him to be small considering that, but he just seems SO small to me, and I am worrying more and more. It gets to the point where I dread taking him to the park, because people always ask how old he is, and then look really shocked when I say his age. It drives me crazy.

Does anyone else have a child who is less than 25 pounds at 2.5 years old? ANyone have an uplifting story of an amazing growth spurt happening around this age, to give me hope?

[stella]

Deborah, I don't know his stats at 2 1/2, but Wade is also very tiny. He is 4.5 and he is the same height and weight as his 3 year old sister (34 lbs).

Socially he does fine, but I feel the same as you - I just wish he would grow! It is making me wonder about holding him back in 1st grade...

no wisdom, just sympathy from me...here's a photo:

Claire

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b253/clairenoelke/IMG_0620.jpg

[kedss]

Deborah-

As a preschool/Sunday School teacher, I've seen all shapes and sizes. One of my favorite kiddos was a tiny sprite of a girl, four years old and tiny, don't know the measurements, but she was small. She was the only girl in a group with 6 boys and she ruled the roost. :)

I know its hard not to worry, but sometimes, we have to decide to take a risk, maybe he will thrive there in the older group. But its up to you to make the decision. I've also worked with a lot of kids who need a little time to adjust to new surroundings, but do great when they know they are safe.

HTH! I know its not an easy decision.

[lizamann]

Nora is Kai's age and 25 lbs. soaking wet. She's weighed the same for so long I don't even remember her weighing anything else. We never get size comments any more, though for her first 18 months we did all the freakin' time. It never actually bothered me, though. I just would say something about her being delicate. With a boy I guess I would think something like, yeah, he's a flyweight! I guess I am pretty much of the "why worry" camp, as long as everything else looks fine.

[barbarhow]

Deborah-Jack is also small. He is 31 months and weights 26 lbs and is 36" tall. He has not gained any weight in months. I worry all the time but try not to show it.
I think if he is ready developmentally to move up then he should go. If he is going to be a small kid for his age then he needs to adapt to that. He sounds like he is doing great. And I think some kids are cautious by nature. The important thing is that it sounds like he adapts. Sounds like a smart kid to me to not jump right in. \
Try not to worry, Mama.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[murpheyblue]

Deborah,

I feel your pain. DD is 26 months and maybe 22 pounds. no explanation for that since DH and I are both 5'10". She's just a little triscuit of a thing. I worry about her a bit in play with bigger kids. Her best friend is a very big, solid little boy so I know she can handle herself she just tends to go down hard if a bigger kid turns aggressive or pushy. Last night, DH and I were talking about whether we should move her to the next level at Gymboree in January when she'll be 28 months. One class is 22-28 mos and the next is 28-36. I know she'll be dwarfed in the 28-36 months but I don't want to hold her back on having experiences because of it.

Sorry I don't have any advice. You're not alone.

[g-mama]

Deborah - Benjamin is a little peanut, too. At 27 mos, he weighs about 23-24 lbs. Actually, he has to go to the ped tomorrow for his quarterly weight check. He has always been small and beginning at 18 mos, he fell below zero % for both weight and height. They began doing every test known to man to see if something was wrong, but long story short, he is just little. I am 5'3" and dh is 5'7" so it's not that unexpected, however Paolo has always been in the 75th percentile for both height and weight, but they say that's probably more "abnormal" coming from parents our size than Benjamin's small size is.

So we do have to have his growth monitored per our pediatrician, but like any toddler, he sometimes eats well and other times barely at all. I have really stopped worrying about it because I cannot control it. What does your ped think? Has it been discussed? Is he below the growth charts, too? If your ped isn't concerned, then there's probably nothing to worry about, but you may want to consult with him/her and see what they have to say.

Benjamin is right there with the other kids his age in terms of his speech, development and physical abilities. He goes to a Mothers Day Out program two mornings a week and is by far the smallest child in his class of 12. He also is the youngest, though, because he's an August baby and the cutoff for school years is Sept. 30th. So he'll always be one of the youngest and I'm sure one of the smallest. But, he has no problem keeping up with the other kids and I have spied on him on the playground and he can definitely hold his own even with more aggressive kids. That comes, too, from having an older brother who is often aggressive with him. I'm with you - I would not hold your ds back because of his size. Kids come in all sizes and it does not affect their mental abilities or their readiness to take on new challenges. He sounds extremely bright.


Kristen
Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
and a *THIRD BOY* coming in December '05

[JBaxter]

My DH was 29lbs when he went to kindergarten. He weighed 132 when he graduated high school. Hes 5ft7in ( with shoes on LOL). His mom said he was healthy just small. One of my brothers was about 23lbs at 2yrs old and he was always the smallest in his class until 9th grade and now he is 6ft1. I remember my mom buying him 4slims to start kindergarten and taking a tuck in the back.

[kelly ann]

Deborah-

I could have written your post...except I am 5'11" and DH is 5'6" :) DS just moved up a few months ago to a 3-6 year old room and he looks even more tiny. However, he is handling it just fine and seems to be keeping up with everything. I used to think it was genetic, but DD is now off the charts in the other direction. She was in size 4 diapers at 3 months old!

I try to focus on his development and learning skills and just hope that the growth spurt will come eventually. I am so tired of telling people he is petite when they ask me his age as well. It is not the worst thing if he is short... I tell myself DH is short and he does just fine in life ;) Plus, now seeing how big DD is, I think she will be protecting him rather than the other way around!

Feel free the PM me if you ever want to "chat". Most of my friends IRL just think I worry too much when I mention the height/weight % of DS.

[LucyG]

DD is about 33" and 25 lb., and she will be three in February. DH and I are small, also, so I guess she comes by it naturally. Since her size is mainly hereditary, I'm not hoping for any big growth spurts!


http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]
nursed for 2.5 years!
And . . . Blessing #2 due in March!

[lmintzer]

I also have a peanut (well, two peanuts, but Joshua is smaller). Joshua is 24 months and is 24 lbs. 5 oz. and 33 inches. He looks much younger than most 2 year-olds, too, as he doesn't have much hair! It's starting to grow in, but it's still soft and whispy. I actually love it--his head is so soft, and he's so sweet and little looking. I guess I will miss my baby when he looks bigger.

DH and I are both short, so I am not surprised that my kiddos are. Jack is at roughly the 25% (maybe even lower for height). He's 4 1/2 and just moved into 4T pants. He can still wear some of his 3s. He is little but mighty. Boy, oh boy, this kiddo can handle himself--size doesn't. He's louder than anyone, and he has no problem making his needs known. We'll see what happens when he gets into grade school, but for now (in preschool), it's not a problem.

Joshua doesn't talk much yet, so I'm actually much more focused on that than on his size.

Genes play such a big role--I'm sure your ds is just fine. In fact, he doesn't sound all THAT small from your numbers.

(ET change height--I had him down an inch too tall)

[MelissaTC]

Sounds like Matthew. He has definitely been smaller than the boys and almost all the girls. At his 2 year appointment, he was around 23 lbs. He went from a size 6 shoe to a 7.5 and was 29 lbs and 36.5 inches at 3. Now at almost 3.5, he is around 32 lbs, almost 38 inches. He wears a size 9 shoe, and is looking more on par with boys his age. I am 5'4" and DH is 6'1". DH was the shortest kid forever and then had a late puberty and shot up. The Ped is thinking DS will be the same.

I know where you are coming from. I worry about Matthew being picked on and quite honestly, it hasn't happened yet. I put him in preschool 3 days a week this year and I really find him to be a social butterfly. He is confident, independent and makes friends easily.

[ismommy]

I am reading some of these numbers and your peanuts seem big to me. Bella is over 4 years old and 27 pounds 2 ounces with clothes and 36 and 1/2 inches. But IMO good things come in small packages
And her smallness came in great this summer when she puked and the only clothes I had were Gunner's size 60 rompers. Yes they were shorter(think mid thigh) but she looked adorable and they weren't covered in puke.
Helene
mommy to Isabella
and Gunner
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif

[kboyle]

I definately wouldn't worry about it. Charlie will be 2.5 on xmas eve and he weighs 25lbs and is probably 33". I'm only 5' and DH is maybe 5'7". He's always had big feet though :), he's a 7.5 right now :) We don't know many people with kids our age, so he pretty much plays with kids a lot older than him and he does fine. The kids that we do know that are around the same age are at least 6 mo older and a lot bigger. Actually, it seems like my DS is the little bully. He's sensitive when it comes to his stuff, but watch out if you've got your eye on something he's playing with, he definately won't just sit around and let you steal his toys. If you are uncomfortable moving him up, don't, wait till you & him are ready. If you want to and the daycare is hesitant, tell them that it's your choice if he is in the right age bracket and there are openings in the class. OR, change facilities, that sounds a bit drastic, but if you don't want to hold him back and he is ready learning wise & wants to move up it's time.

Oh...an so far, no amazng growth spurt on our end. But I am ready for it any day now. I want to put away some of the 12-18mo stuff that we've had out for sooooo long :)

[crayonblue]

I have a small child. Lauren is 2 (in 4 days!). Her 2 year appointment is next week but my guess is that she is 21 lbs. or so and 34 inches. She was a little over 19 lbs. at one year old. She is one of the thinnest children I have seen and most clothes fall off of her.

DH is 5'8 and I am 5'7 so I'm not expecting a huge kid. DH was a TINY child and was the smallest in his class for years. For a girl, I don't think it is too much of a worry, but I know DH hated being teased for being small.

Lauren is also a very hesitant child. She watches for 10 minutes or so before joining in on the action. She is sweet and friendly but shy.

Try not to worry about it! I know easier said than done. I think having big kids is way over-pushed in our society. My ped always reminds me that obesity related diseases are the #1 killer of Americans and that he would be thrilled if Lauren stayed her same body shape for life!

ETA: I have found that with Lauren, many kids her age and older treat her like she is a delicate flower. We went to the park recently and a 3 year old boy walked over and held her hand and they walked around the park together. He was so gentle with her and his mom said he is usually a bull-dozer! Several times kids have almost "taken care" of her. I don't know if this is because she is small or because of her personality, but it melts my heart!

[jbowman]

My DD will be 2 in a week and she weighs about 23 pounds (I think). I'm only 5'1" (although DH is 6'), so I anticipate that she'll probably be petite. I have tried not to worry about her weight, but it can be difficult (particularly b/c my DD does not drink milk--none, nada, never!). Fortunately she has met all of her milestones and is an outgoing, happy child, so I worry less.

Reading everyone else's responses has also made me feel better since often I think I'm the only one with a little *peanut* when I see other kids DD's age.

[jesseandgrace]

Definitely have him moved up!!!!!! He sounds more than ready. My ds is smallish, usually about the 25th percentile for height, and he doesn't notice, and none of the other kids do either. He is in Kindergarten now, and like everyone said, there are kids of all sizes. One of the other moms just passed on some really cool pants to me because her son grew out of them, and they are still a little big for ds. But, so far no worries on his part, and plenty of other boys and girls on the short side to join him. On a side note the girls all tell their moms that they are going to marry him, so no problem with the ladies either, lol.

[Raidra]

Colwyn is only just two, but he's not quite 22 lbs. I think he's about 33 inches.. I don't have the exact numbers in front of me.

Our pedi mentioned it at his two year checkup, and said we should ask whether that sort of thing runs in the family. It turns out that a lot of the boys on both my and my husband's side were the same - tiny until they hit puberty, when they caught up to the rest of the kids.

I've tried adding calories and fat to his diet, but dairy constipates him, so we have to limit that. He's not big into butter, dips, or anything sticky/gooey. Oh well. :)

I'm sure they'll be fine.. for now, I console myself that it's much easier for me to carry him!

[nathansmom]

Right there with you. Nathan weighs 22 lbs 2 oz and is 31 inches tall. He's brothers are almost as tall as he is and both weigh more then he does. We've been through testing and nutrition evaulations on him. Our big concern with Nathan is he loses weight nearly as much as he gains. People always think I have triplets. We are below 0% for weight and we are hovering at 3% for height. We have weekly weight checks since he does lose weight. Honestly I think some kids are just small (reminder to remember this when I stress).

[DebbieJ]

Another mom of a peanut here. We have his 2 year appt next week, but I'm guessing he's around 25 lbs max. My ds is also very bright (knows all letters, counts to 12, knows many signs) and slow to warm up.

But you know what? He's healthy, happy, and meeting all other milestones, so I *try* (key word) not to worry when all he eats in one day is a Yo Baby!

If he is socially and emotionally ready for the next level, I say move him up!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[Moneypenny]

I was teeny tiny when I was a kid - in fact all the kids in my family are quite small until grade school or junior high. Perfectly healthy, perfectly smart, just tiny. I was 4'6" and 66 pounds when I started high school. I'm now 5'3" and I weigh...well, nevermind that, but I assure you I'm perfectly normal sized.

He's probably just on a slower growth curve, and unless your ped is concerned about his size, I don't think you need to be (except for normal mama worry about everything, of course). I wasn't held back from anything due to my size, and in fact I hardly noticed that I was smaller than everyone else.
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]
We made it to a year!

[wagner36]

Don't worry mama! If it makes you feel any better, having a child on the other end of the spectrum sucks too. I can't TELL you how many people have asked us about developmental delays because he has the speech development of a 2.5 year old but is the size of a 4-year old (40-something inches, 37 lbs (and that's after 3 days of the stomach flu)). If one more well-meaning individual recommends a "program" or "special school" for him while we're at the grocery store, I might be prone to physical violence.

[lovin2shop]

I do, I do! Have a not too worry story, that is. Drew has always been very small and at his 2 year checkup had dropped to the 3rd pecentile for weight. His Ped was concerned. We did ECI, and had a speech therapist come weekly for feeding issues. Now, at 3yrs and 3 months he is up to 31lbs and approx. 39". At his 3 year check up, he hit the 45th percentile for weight. I'm a big supporter of ECI, so I hate to say it, but in our case, the therapy did not contribute much his weight gain. I honestly think that he was just growing at his own pace. Try not to worry. I could have written your post word for word about a year ago, and I wish that I hadn't worried so much about it. My DH and I are the same exact heights as you and yours. The fact that your DS is progressing so well developmentally is the best sign.

[kfk]

I just wanted to thank everyone who wrote in, it helps me not to worry. My twins are often mistaken for "irish twins" because Zac is a peanut (from birth): he weighed 18 1/2 lbs. at 12 months. He's 3% height and weight (he finally made the charts!) And Jake is 75% height and 30% weight. I just keep telling myself that he's charismatic and quite a daredevil, and certainly persistent! And he's pretty quick to find ways to deal with his short stature (when he couldn't reach the toy bar of his bouncy chair as a baby he would scootch his little booty down so he could use his feet instead) and his brother's tendency to barrel over him physically.

I'm 5' 4" and my husband's 5' 8" but I'm the runt of 4 siblings and have tall relatives on my dad's side, so I guess both boys come by it honestly.

As for late growth spurts, I was very petite until my junior year in high school, and my paternal grandfather entered Annapolis at 5' 9" and graduated at 6' 2".