How the heck do you tackle the grocery store with two?

[phirey]

I just cried all the way home from the grocery store. I've been lucky enough to not have to take both girls with me yet. Today my store had a holiday customer appreciation day with a coupon for $10 off $100 worth of groceries, plus I had another $5 off expiring today.

So I waited unitl DD#1 was well-napped and had a nice lunch, and DD#2 had just eaten. We got to the store and entered the cart area. DD#1 is used to us getting the "car cart," so I prepped her that we wouldn't be able to use that one. As we walked into the store, another mom with just one kid, about five, was taking the last cart meant for multiple kids -- you know, with the bench thingy and the other side with a strap for the carseat. So I had to put the baby in a traditional cart and try to arrange $100 worth of groceries around her, under the cart and in the child seat area, while DD#1 walked. It's certainly not the first time she's walked in the grocery store, but definitely the least supervised she's ever been doing so. It was truly hell and if I didn't need groceries for dinner, I was ready to leave and forget about my coupons. Eva Marin HATES the carseat, so a good part of the trip was spent balancing a fussy baby on my shoulder, scolding Margot, and trying to shop/steer the cart.

I know one answer will be to sling the baby. But right now she hates all four slings I have, too. So how do you do it?

[muskiesusan]

I send DH.

If he can't go, and I have to go with the kids, which honestly I avoid at all costs, we are lucky the grocery store has car carts for two kids. When they start to get restless, we swing by the bakery for a free cookie.

It was hard when Alex was a wee baby. I think I have blocked most everything out as I don't remember much from that period.

Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[kfcboston]

How about - I don't go with the babies. Ever. :)

[DebbieJ]

I would have asked that other mother for the cart. You had a greater need than she did.

It's also easier to pull a cart than to push it one-handed.

Sounds like it was a sucky day all around. Have some brownies or ice cream--it'll make everything better!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[gour0]

I blew off the $10 coupon. I needed groceries on Thursday and didn't want to go twice. I did take both. I put her in the kolamo and him in the race car cart. what slings have you tried?

[alexsmommy]

Wait - people still buy groceries with two children? They don't Peapod, or if not in an area with Peapod just order in three meals a day?
Hats off to you for even trying - I think DH will go from doing some of the shopping to ALL of the shopping when we are blessed with the next one. I'll just have to live with a person who doesn't cook trying to decipher my list and bringing back wrong items. ie - I never thought to specify EXTRA VIRGIN olive oil - that's all I use for cooking and salad dressing - oh that's right - you don't cook - my bad.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[phirey]

Ah, there's the rub!

I was at the freakin' grocery store because I finally admitted i'm not doing the dairy-free thing wholeheartedly enough to really know if that's causing DD's reflux. So no comfort foods. :-(

It's 7:50 and DH just called to say he's coming home from work and DO I NEED ANYTHING AT THE STORE!

Oy!

[annasmom]

I got to tell you, I give you a lot of credit for going with such a young baby. I do go with my two, sometimes its o.k., sometimes its horrible!

When my ds was really little, I would put him in a sling or carrier. The only problem with that is when you get to the checkout and you have the baby in the sling and your other dc in the cart it is really hard to reach your food and get it onto the counter! I am lucky because now I can put both of them in the car and they both drive me around the store! That usually works well, unless my ds starts eating the steering wheel or his sister starts smushing him!

My best tip would be to go really early in the morning because there is no crowd, which usually adds to the stress of the trip. Oh, and Munchkins work well too! (There is a DD in our store!)

[Rachels]

As far as I can tell it's impossible. I've tried it several times. Wednesday it was pouring rain and we all got soaked. The best system I've come up with yet is putting them both in the stroller and putting groceries into the basket, although that of course limits how much I can buy. But it feels impossible any other way. I tried slinging Ethan with Abby in the cart, but even that was hard. I could barely steer, and lifting her into and out of the cart with the sling across my shoulder was totally ineffective. I'm very interested in this home delivery idea. Can anyone weigh in on whether you get quality meats and produce that way?

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[phirey]

Like Target or other necessarily trips. More importantly, or at least pressing for us, is how to handle church? For multiple reasons, I must go to church tomorrow. DH will again be at work. Margot has aged out of the nursery, and the Sunday School classes meet *between* services. I know I'll sling or Bjorn Eva, but I'm certain she'll scream through most of it. But I had a hard time keeping Margot in line in the pew before Eva came.

And as far as the mall, other errands, I for one HATE the mall and probably go into them once every six months or so. I know people use double strollers for that, but DD hasn't wanted hers since she was about 18 months old. I know most of that stuff can wait for a day DH isn't working, but he's got stuff to do, too (like repairing the hole in our ceiling -- see other post!). So he's not going to want to schlep all over town so I can get the best deal on a Cuisinart for my sister's Xmas, KWIM?

What do single moms/military moms etc. do?

[almostamom]

Kudos to you for even trying. I only have one child and I don't think I tried to take him to the grocery store until he was about 4 or 5 months old!! Even now, I'll try to go shopping at night after he's in bed and DH is home. You need a break today :)
~Linda~
DS 11/9/04

[annasmom]

Grocery delivery is not an option where I live, but I have friends who swear by it! My really good girl friend doesn't do delivery, but she orders online and then the grocery store will come out to her car and put the packages in her car. She drives 30 minutes and pays $10 for the service just so she doesn't have to bring her 3 kids (4,2, & baby) to the supermarket. I cannot blame her!! She says that even though she pays the $10 she often breaks even or SAVES $$ doing it this way because she can actually look at the sales items online and not just throw whatever in her cart because she is so anxious to get out of the store. My SIL does delivery and says that she has been really pleased with the quality of veggies & fruits.

[thomma]

I avoid it all costs! My little darlings are 2 1/2 and I've tackled the grocery store ten different ways...not one time was what I would call successful. I've done the put each kid in a cart then push one, pull one method (rough on the wrists and almost lost one kid/stroller in the parking lot), I've done the one kid in a bjorn/one kid in a stroller (cumbersome and kind of rough on the kid in the bjorn because I'm clumsy), and my "favorite": put both kids in a double stroller and pack the stroller and a bag slung over one shoulder with as many groceries as I can (actually not a bad method except what you bring home is a crap shoot).


All kidding aside-
I hope next time is easier for you and that you figure out a way that is manageable for you.

Kim
t&e 5/03

[spanannie]

If you don't have grocery delivery, and would like someone to do your shopping for you, there are plenty of college kids out there that will do it for a small sum. My babysitter, last summer, did mine shortly after DD was born, and she did an excellent job. I have seen students on CraigsList offering this service...you could always post looking for this service...they'll even put the groceries away!

DS is in school 3 mornings per week, so I go to the grocery when he is in school...I just take DD. I won't take the two of them, unless it is into our small Randall's, where I will just pick up one or two things. I will not take both kids on a big shop...I'd rather just eat out and save myself--and them--the heartache.

I have a highschool student coming over during the winter break, so I can do things like grocery shopping--about 12 hrs per week. Who knows what I'll do during the summer, since I've yet to find any good summer programs for this age...I guess I'll have to find another babysitter.

[o_mom]

I usually put the infant seat in the basket, the 2yo in the child seat and then pile things on the bottom rack and around everyone, I have also done the car one with the 2yo in the car and the infant in the basket.

Our stores don't have the multiple cart that you describe - that would be heaven!

[RwnMayfair]

If both are going to go, I try to have my husband with me. Otherwise, I wear Elowen. I have far too many carriers, and she goes in a mei tai I have if we're going to the grocery store, since that one allows me the most flexibility for picking things up, putting them in the cart, etc. My grocery store (well, the one I go to) also has a kids area where you can drop your kids off to play and whatnot with a few people there to watch them - it does close at a certain time though, so you have to go early enough for that. Taran's not old enough for it, as I believe it starts at 3 years, but it's a pretty neat idea. :)

I usually just try to go without the kids, though.

-Melissa

Taran, November 20, 2003
Elowen, August 20, 2005

http://lilypie.com/pic/051122/0DU8.jpg http://b3.lilypie.com/11Vom5/.png
http://lilypie.com/pic/051122/bQLg.jpg http://b1.lilypie.com/9Ogqm5/.png

[Melanie]

Shop when your older Dd is in school or go at night when Dh can stay with them, or send him?

I've not had to do a large trip with both. The first trip I did with both was awful and later I realized that Dd slept in her sling the entire time! It was just preschooler antics that almost had me in tears. I can't imagine trying to balance both!

I usually only take them both with it's a shorter trip and even still I imagine them laughing at me circling the store 4 times b/c I keep forgetting things since I'm so scatterbrained.

[Melanie]

Rachel, something I learned is that if you bring cloth shopping bags to hang off of the stroller you can sneak some more groceries in.

[shishamo]

Wow, if the baby hates all slings AND a carseat, then I would seriously only go when the baby is napping (and leave the baby behind). Or have the groceries delivered. I am sure things will change and at some point, she will be okay with sling or with carseat: if not, wait till your younger one is 6 months and sitting. Can you get a babysitter or have your dh watch your younger one?

I also shop with my DH on the weekends, and only buy small amount throughout the week. IF the trip is short, it is easier. I do think your older one will get used to walking along the shopping cart. Can she be your "helper" and get things from the shelf, etc.? When I go in with my three, my 3 and 5 year olds get things from me, and it helps to stay them focused. Hang in there, it does get better!!

[KBecks]

Do you have any friends at church who can help, or do you have relationships with anyone there?

At our church, some of the parents with little ones gang together and all sit in the same section (way up front!), and everyone is all in the same boat and kind of help each other through the service.

[alexsmommy]

Rachel,
I've only done Peapod a few times - but each time the meat quality has been fine - you can get typical brands such as Purdue chicken. Produce seemed more iffy to me, a few bruised fruit at the bottom of a box - stuff that was completely ripe which meant it needed to be consumed fast. Whenever we have baby #2 my plan would be to have Peapod deliver the staples and meat - and go get a few fresh items and seafood with the stroller. This is what I did when Alex was still a tiny preemie and we had to limit his time in public places. I hope you live where they have one of these services - it was a lifesaver.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[lmintzer]

LOL, Alaina! I don't EVER bring my 2 to the grocery store, save a quick run-in/run-out to Whole Foods for something quick.

All I can say is YES YES YES to Peapod (here we don't have Peapod, but one of our local groceries delivers). They aren't as good as Peapod, but it works.

And DH, yep. That's the other solution. He does our interum grocery shopping.

You were very brave to try it with 2 so young. It IS nearly impossible!

[MegND95]

I have three kids five and under, and only take them in extreme cases. The last time I did this, an elderly lady at the store yelled at my ds for being too loud.

Anyway, have you looked to see if any goceries offer a drive-up service? When I lived in NC, there was a store that would do the shopping for you, based on your computer generated list. All you did was pull up to a designated spot, and they would load it all up.

Shopping with children can be so difficult. I try to go later at night when dh is home, and early on the weekends.

It will get easier to do these chores. Maybe not tomorrow or even next month, but it will happen.

[jesseandgrace]

I agree, it is hard, it can't be done well unless both kids are easy kids (I know there are some of those out there, I've seen them with other people :)). Either go with a quick list and decide it is going to be a bit stressful, or wait until you only have one if you can. When they are a bit older it gets easier, and a little snack - or the best bribe ever - a lollipop - can go a long way. My kids are now 5 and 2, and it would be fine to take them to the store together - and they are both high energy kids to say the least. The problem now is having to hear about all the stuff they want, it makes me crazy.

[american_mama]

It is veyr hard, but it gets better. I have had many aborted shopping expeditions, sweat, tears, and frustration. I have done almost all the grocery shopping with the two of them since the second has been born, just because that's the only thing that was working in our family. I used to put DD2 in the car seat in the basket, DD1 in whatever cart she preferred, then stack groceries around her (hard). At checkout, I'd ask for the bagger to get a second empty cart for the bags and then I'd ask for someone to push it to the car. To their credit, even the youngest and more bored employees often volunteered this help.

After many months DD2 was finally pretty much able to sit up in the grocery cart seat, and I put both of the kids there or have my odler daughter walk . I probably should have bought one of those cart protectors for the safety strap b/c the store carts usually have missing or defective straps.

My older daughter does like grocery shopping, and I try to have her help me find things (where are the carrots, can you find the macaroni and cheese in this aisle, where is the ice cream with a big B on it, whatever). Snacks also help. You can have your child wear one of the bibs with a pouch at the bottom and then load the pouch up at intervals with a bunch of cheerios, diced fruit. It gave her a surface of sorts to eat from at a time when she couldn't hold a snack container on her own.

I do joke that there is a third of the grocery store that I have never seen, however.

For your older daughter, ask at the customer service desk if they have a free cookie for kids program. Many stores do, but sometimes don't advertise it.

I once saw one acquaintance going through the store (with a smile!) with her two boys walking (aged 5 and 3ish) and her infant in a backpack on her back. I have another friend with a 4 year and 2 year old, and she brings them at lunchtime with lunch in hand and essentially feeds them lunch in the cart while she shops.

[nathansmom]

>How about - I don't go with the babies. Ever. :)
Man Katie I need to follow your idea. I drag 3 shopping carts with me when I shop alone with the boys (usually not more then twice a month).

[nathansmom]

In most cases I do the following:
Grab 2 carts. One cart I put a blanket in the big basket and place the twins in there. Throw in a few toys and my keys and cell and they stay happy and seated (I know its not safe don't knock me I do what I have to do). Nathan walks with me until he starts getting out of control. The second cart is for groceries. I pull both carts so I can keep a good eye on the twins. If Nathan gets out of control he goes in the seat of the second basket with a treat I grab in the store for him. I shop in the morning since the store seems not to be as busy and alot of times I can get a stocker or bagger to help push a cart. I also shop from a list (mental or written) so it's sort of a quick in and out. I leave all big shopping trips for a time someone can go with me or when I can go by myself.

[kijip]

As for church---at our new church Toby can still go to the co-op childcare which we use but many, many parents with kids over the age of 4 (aged out of care) and with kids Toby's age that are just not interested in childcare keep their kids with them. Since there are so many kids, no one minds the little noises that kids make. I found that relaxing about it helped when we keep Toby with us. Also I see a lot of parents give their kids a special sack with a coloring book and quiet stuff to do on the pews to keep them occupied, especially during the sermon/reflection. I figure that is what I will do with Toby when the time comes...get some religiously themed or social justice coloring books and a couple of soft quiet special toys. And I am not above reminding him that quiet kids get a doughnut (or rather a 1/3 of a doughnut!) after the service is over!

[marinkitty]

Without a sling-loving babe I do think it would be impossible! I try to avoid going with both kiddos but before Jack could sit in the cart I always slung him and had Mia sit in the cart. Last week was the first time I took them that I put Jack in the cart and Mia walked a bit and then stood riding in the back of the cart (the little dinky Whole Foods carts) while I stuffed groceries in around her. But that was before I got the trusty monkey backpack - actually now that I say that, you should get one of those and that way your older DD could walk and you wouldn't have to worry about her getting too far away.


Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03) and baby brother Jack (3.23.05)

[s7714]

For most stores (grocery, Target, etc.) I usually go in the mornings when it's less crowded. I always go around snack time (or I hold off on snacks until we get to the store), so my older DD will sit "quietly" in the cart and eat her snack--that buys me the most time as far as she's concerned. With the youngest, I either wait for her to wake up from her morning nap or wake her up early, feed her and then go. I pop her in a mei tai (the only type of carrier she tolerates, and we tried a lot before coming to that solution) and she's usually fine for a good 1/2 - 1 hour. Longer if she falls asleep, but by then my older DD starts getting antsy.

If it's a store that doesn't have shopping carts, it's pretty much the same thing as above, except DD eats her snack in the stroller. And if it's the type of store that doesn't allow food/drink...well, that's a store we save for the weekends when one or both of the DCs can be left at home with DH! ;)

I'd love to be able to leave my DDs at home with DH and do my shopping, but since my DH is working 6-7 days a week it's not a realistic option. Once in a great while I'll slip out after both DDs are asleep for the night, but I honestly find it easier just to take both kids than to wait that long.

Jennifer
Mommy to
Annalia 3/03
Sophia 6/05

When raising kids the days are oh so long, but the years are short.--John Leguizamo

[mamicka]

I've always done all the grocery shopping (except when I've forgotten 1 or 2 things that DH picks-up on his way home) & it definitely takes practice but canget better. Luckily, DS2 sat-up quite early so I felt confident about putting him in the seat with blankets in case he got fatigued. DS1 walks (or skips or runs) as long as he behaves (doesn't run off, doesn't pick up random items from the shelves, etc) & then he goes in the big basket. He complains, sure, but we've got to get groceries so he has to learn how to deal with it. If things get bad, we buy a treat & open it in the store. Pretty soon I think I'll try the double car cart & see how that goes. Oh, also, I often spend most of the trip leaning over & playing kissy games with DS2 in the seat. Not ideal but it works.

So far there have been no cancelled shopping trips so, knock on wood. :)

I'd definitely do the grocery delivery if it were available. But even if it isn't, it'll probably get better with time.

Allison