Waaaaay late thank you notes

[mainepotato]

I was reading the thread on thank you notes and guilt got the best of me. When DD#1 was born, I had this ambitious idea that I'd send pictures with my thank you notes.. If someone gave an outfit, I'd send a pic of the baby in that outfit with the thank you note. Stuff happened and half of the notes never went out. DD#1 is 4 yrs old! I don't know if the gift givers still remember, but I remember and I'm embarrassed. What would you think if you got an apologetic thank you note 4 yrs late? Or should I just let it go?

[bostonsmama]

BTDT (the guilt part)....if you really feel like you have to do something, you could included them on your holiday card list and make a note to the fact that you're grateful for everything they've done in your life (lives) since the arrival of your first DD and that in your quest for "perfection" you have not always been able to communicate that in a timely manner. Then I'd offer happy holiday wishes with a plan to follow up by email or a phone call to see how they're doing. Chances are, if they gave you (your DD) a gift, they'd love to know how she's doing....so maybe a small family newsletter you can print up in bulk would be nice for the 20-or-so (just a guess) people you didn't get those notes out to. But that's just me. It's not necessary....but it will go a long way to make ammends to anyone who got their feelings hurt in the process.

Larissa
who's gettin in the holiday mood

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." -
James Baldwin

[almostamom]

IMO, it's never too late! If I received your note, I would giggle, probably call you and giggle with you about how this has been in the back of your mind for 4 years, but.... I would still very much appreciate the thank you.

BTW, I just did the picture thing with DS and his birthday gifts - it was a bit crazy - me with the camera practically throwing toys around the family room saying, "Here, honey, play with this one!!"

~Linda~
DS 11/9/04

[ribbit1019]

I was thinking about this the other day, DD birthday was in June and I never got thank yous out. I feel so horrible about it. I have been really bad since I got pregnant about thank yous, and I am not really sure why. Baby Shower thank yous were barely handeled. I got them out 2 months later just before DD came. I only had about 115 to write! What is wrong with me right? lol!

Procrastination has always been my enemy. Do you have any tips for getting them out in a timely manner?

The newsletter is a great idea. Hopefully my etiquette sins will be forgiven by friends and family, at least this year.

Christy
"My Mommy" to Maddy born 06/09/04
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and soon to Little Man due 03/02/06
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[NancyJ_redo]

I totally agree - I would appreciate receiving the thank you note, even if 4 years late, and would find it very funny (in a good way!). I'm definitely guilty of not getting the thank you notes out in a timely manner, and am even guilty (gasp!) of not getting some out ever. So I can understand someone else being in the same predicament, and would find it funny if I got the thank you note 4 years later.

[kelly ann]

I used to be the type to get the thank you card out within a couple of weeks, but life just gets in the way these days.

I haven't done this, but here are a couple of ideas to get it done quicker...

A photo thank you card (similar to holiday cards, but with bday photo) and maybe a 1 sentence hand-written note on the photo. Or a photo postcard - less room to fill up with writing :)

A fill-in-the-blank card I have seen for kids.

Nothing replaces a hand-written note, but at least this way the giver knows you received the gift (especially for items in the mail).

BTW, I just received a Thank You for a August bday party and I didn't even think anything of it. The mom is also pregnant and I totally forgot about not receiving the note (mommy brain). I am much more forgiving now that I have kids...I realize how hard it is to keep up with these things.

[kaylinsmommy2]

I guess if you really feel that guilty about it, you should just send out thank you notes, or include a thank you sentence in your holiday card ("My last four years must have been so full of joy and laughter that I completely forgot to thank you for DD's baby gift. The item was loved and used often and is still used with our second child." or "This is the time of year where our family reminises about the past, and I realize that I completely forgot to thank you for the wonderful gift 4 years ago. It was a ___ that was worn all the time." or something.

But, DD's 1st birthday was 6 months ago, and, while I wrote out 1/2 of the cards, I just found them today - never sent - and will just toss them. I have enough things to feel guilty about and this will not be one of them. :) I'm just going ot make sure I send them warm wishes for Christmas. With friends, though, I might just send them a quick email apologizing for missing a thank you note: I find that they are more than forgiving. :)
Caroline
Kaylin 6/5/04

http://b2.lilypie.com/9KMlm7/.png[/img][/url]

[KrisM]

I agree. I would like to receive a thank you, even 4 years late.

[Momof3Labs]

I like some of the suggestions for wording (taking the "silly me!" approach), but don't like the idea of including a general statement in a holiday card. I got that one year and was actually offended - I took the time to purchase and send something, and all it earned was a blanket mention in the "form" holiday letter?? A handwritten note, even if it is very late, would be much more appropriate for those who sent a baby gift.

[drsweetie]

Hee hee! I've done this before too, and usually I just say something in the note like "I can't believe what a space case I've been not to write before now!" If you've got an old pic of DD in the outfit, or using the gift, etc., you could send one of those along with a current picture. I'm firmly of the belief that it's "better late than never" when it comes to thank-you notes; I'd rather receive one that was four years "late" than not receive one at all.

Ellen

[Globetrotter]

You could make it funny, poking fun at yourself for being such a space cadet since the kids came along, or something along those lines (not saying that you ARE lol). Then mention the gift and how much it was appreciated.

Kris

[american_mama]

I would still like to receive a note no matter how late. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't put myself down by saying I have spaced out since the kids were born; I'd just say that I had the best of intentions, but life got busy.

I too have had thoughts of sending thank you notes with photos of DD in an outfit, so I know how doing so delays things. I just sent out quasi-birth announcements for DD2 in November, which was her first birthday. I combined it with an address change/general update letter, which was sorely needed.