Does your DC hold your hand while walking?

[SweetTooth]

My DS is 14 months & absolutely refuses to hold anyone's hand while walking. He's been walking for a few months now & it would be great to let him walk a bit rather than carry him, but he just takes off. At his age, I wouldn't expect him to always hold my hand, but he won't, even for a few seconds. Is this typical for this age?
Thanks for any thoughts!

[kedss]

It sounds like he enjoys being independent and exploring. I wish we had that problem, DH loves to carry DS everywhere, and when I try to walk with DS on the outside mall, he always wants to be held! And I'm just not as strong as DH, heck, DH isn't as strong as he thinks he is! LOL

[psophia17]

DS was walking early, at about 11 months, and he was strong-willed and independent as they come. It's only recently that he gets that the rule is for him to hold my hand when we walk anwhere that isn't yard or park.

It took a lot of effort - and I remind him that holding hands is the rule often - but it had to be done.

[jhaud]

dd is 16 mo and also refuses to hold a hand. if i try to hold her hand, she will squat down and refuse to move! we are trying a harness with her. (if you follow the boards or do a search you may remember/find some fairly recent threads re: a monkey harness at walmart/target. so far she will tolerate the harness, and it does prevent her from getting to far (when she reaches the end and keeps going, she lands on her bottom) so it is more for me to keep up with her than for her to stay with me! i figure any rude comments i hear will be met with a safety briefing!

good luck

[babymama]

Well, I think defiance is typical for the age. I think its very normal for him to want to explore on his own.

I let DS walk without holding my hand, but not when crossing the street or in parking lots. I'm even nervous on sidewalks. If he won;t give me his hand, then I threaten to pick him up or make him go in the stroller/grocery cart. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I thought a child harness would be our solution, but he screams hysterically anytime I bring it out. So I just try to choose my battles, and make sure he's safe.

Lydia
Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03 and
One on the way, due 01/03/06

[mudder17]

Kaya started walking at 14.5 months and yes, she definitely refused to hold hands, even if she was walking next to us. I think it's because it threw her balance off, holding her hands up like that. Plus, she really did want to explore. Anyway, we just used the monkey harness instead and she was so much happier. A few months later, she did start holding our hands when going up hill or on uneven ground, and now, she will sometimes hold DH's hand, and then hold her other hand up to me until I let her grab my finger. She likes to grab a finger of each of us and walk in between. :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
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Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[Saartje]

That's exactly why we use a toddler harness nearly constantly. :) DS loves it as much as I do, because it lets him explore much more than he could if he had to constantly hold my hand.

[muskiesusan]

Alex has always been good about holding my hand, but I think that's b/c he sees older brother doing it and he must do everything Nick does! Nick, however, was well over two before he would hold hands at all.

We also have the monkey harness, and although I haven't used it out yet, Alex loves to wear it around the house!


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[lmintzer]

Nope, Joshua just NOW at 2 is starting to hold my hand and walk. He was a late walker (16 1/2 months) but quickly learned to walk and then run. I wouldn't have dreamed of having him just walk with my outside. We always used a stroller, wherever we went. We still do most of the time. Just today, after dropping big brother off at preschool (which we attempted without the stroller), he squirmed to get down. I put him down, and he actually held my hand and walked to the car.

I marvel at toddlers who a.) will stay by their parent at a coffee shop or in a store, or b.) will hold hands and quietly walk.

You are certainly not alone, and your little one is still young--there's time!

[cbm]

I think it is typical of children that have learned how to walk, regardless of age. I am having the same problem.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[amp]

Honestly, it depends on the day! We try to do it mostly in parking lots, near streets, but if he refuses and he'll stay close to us, we'll let it slide sometimes. I keep an eagle eye on him and he's more likely to dawdle than to run when we're in a parking lot (so far, knock wood). He doesn't tend to flee unless he's at home where he feels really comfortable. i think the refusal is just part of their assertion of their growing indpendence and it's our job to determine when to let them assert it and when we must insist on doing it our way.

[hez]

I'm trying to remember when Payton started holding hands consistently-- it's been awhile-- I know he did it all summer. I made a rule that he had to hold hands in the parking lot or be carried (can't remember who had that rule here, but I love it!) and maybe that's when it started. Now, he reaches up to hold a hand whenever we walk unless he's feeling a little frisky :)

We're lucky-- Payton's an observer first, so he's not always apt to take off too far. Get him too late past a nap and out shopping and he'd better be in a cart though, or I'll find him doing all sorts of weird things under the clothes racks :)

[ethansmom]

DS refused to hold hands until this fall.

He saw some other kids holding their moms' hands when leaving one of our classes, and I think that helped. Also, I give him the choice. If we are in a non-busy parking lot, he can hold my hand or be carried. If we are in a store/mall/whatever, he can walk near me or go in the stroller. It only took 2 times of me picking him up in parking lots to know I meant business!

[SweetTooth]

Thank you all for your responses. So it sounds like it's typical for his age. He is definately exerting his independence in other areas! Right now we let him walk freely in playground-type areas & otherwise carry him or use a stroller. A monkey harness is intriguing. I appreciate the suggestions for the "rules" re: when in a parking lot, etc. I will incorporate those as he gets older. I know a mom that had a rule that one hand has to be on the car as they are loading/unloading. I thought that was a good one as well.

[KrisM]

At that age, DS never would hold my hand, either. Now, at 19 months he does pretty well. He won't walk next to me on his own though.

[crayonblue]

I think it must be dependent on the child. Lauren wasn't interested in holding our hands at that age but now at 2, she will hold my hand most of the time when we are walking.

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

Avi is a month younger than your DS and he won't hold my hand when we are out either. I either let him walk and stay very close, put him into the stroller, or i carry him. He will start to run if you are not keeping both hands on him at all times so if i can not focus both on making sure that he is being supervised closely i either carry him or put him into the stroller. If it is a quick trip i let him walk a little and i carry him a little. He weighs about 28 lbs undressed but i figure it is a buildup for my muscles... LOL

I think it is a stage when children just start to walk and become more independant and do not yet know their limits...

Ilana