Fun topic: so is DC an introvert, extrovert, or what?

[mudder17]

So I used to think Kaya was an extrovert like me. She gets along very well with new people, even perfect strangers and only a couple people have managed to make her cry when they show up (both males and with facial hair). One of them is my tutoree and we figured out that it wasn't that she was afraid of him but that when he showed up, I stopped paying attention to her, so she was jealous!

Anyway, Kaya is 22 months old and would normally be just fine with Santa, so we thought! We went to an office party yesterday and there was Santa, along with 50+ people and their kids crowded into a small room. Kaya was very firm about not wanting to sit on his lap (no!), but she did let me hold her next to him and then she started signing to him. But she would NOT let him hold her, even later when we were in the hallway. She would say a few words to him and sign to him, but "no" I'm not letting that funny man hold me! Ah well, memories, huh?

So I've come to the conclusion that Kaya really is an introvert (like her dad) because when there are lots of people around (big social situation), she might enjoy herself, but she gets very exhausted and fussy after a while and just needs to break away by going outside of the situation. This is especially obvious when she's really tired and hasn't had her nap (which she hadn't yesterday). She never did have a crying fit yesterday, so it's not like she was having a breakdown, but we could tell she was getting tired and would let her wander out of the room for a little while. She really enjoys interacting with new people, especially kids but also older folks, and will have complete "conversations" with people she just meets (she had a nice one with a Vietnam Vet in our grocery store parking lot the other day), so she's outgoing and friendly in that way, but lots of people will exhaust her energies. So she's inherited both her dad and my personalities. I used to be an extrovert, but I think I'm actually more in between now. Big social situations will feed me energy for a short while, but then I need to remove myself and recharge. I think I need to read one of those personality test books now so I can see what else Kaya is (intuitive, feeling, etc.). Actually, now that Kaya is older, it'd be fun for DH, Kaya (with our help of course), and me to take one of those "tests". Does anyone know of an online version I can find?

So what is your DC like?


Eileen

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Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[buddyleebaby]

Dh is completely outgoing, charming, flirtatious, and vivacious.

I think dd is like him, as of now. She laughs and smiles at everyone. She is a very friendly baby (probably more friendly than her mama, who is very suspicious of pretty much everyone.

I have noticed, though, that even at 6 months she has a "fake" smile. She has her genuine happy smile, and then there's the one that she forces when she's tired (or wearing a hat). Like she's saying "Ok, I'll smile cause I know it's expected of me, but I don't really want to." It's quite cute.

[kijip]

Toby is outgoing but he takes a bit to warm up to folks. I think he is introverted now.

I say Toby is a "Bert rather than an Ernie"----likes things to be orderly, more of a homebody etc!

[Momof3Labs]

Colin was an introvert until late this past summer. He has completely transformed, and is so outgoing and chatty now with people. That was the time that we moved, and our new neighborhood is sooooo much friendlier than the old one - I have to wonder if that has something to do with his change??

[hez]

Payton has phases. Too tired, too many people and he gets introverted. Plenty of sleep, feeling well, and he gets extroverted. After he warms up he becomes the kissing bandit-- kissing toys, people's cheeks, people's legs (if they don't bend down fast enough after he says, "Needa kiss!")... Strangers and friends alike get kisses. DH and I both have our moments of each personality style. DH leans more to the introverted 'til you get him talking sports or something else he likes very well. I pick and choose when I'm going to be which way based on the situation and my own mood at the time. Probably lean more to the introvert, though.

I'm thinking Payton's going to take after his mama and be a bit of a chameleon on that point :)

[Toba]

My son is a definite introvert, but so are his parents, so I think he may have gotten the short end of the stick on that one.

He will warm up to people, but it takes him a few minutes. He's not one of those kids that shoves his face into my breast (yet!) because he's so shy, but he won't go to anyone unless he knows them very well or they take the time to make eye contact and conversation with him.

He's also not one of those kids that jump all over people (unless it's Daddy!) for attention like I know my sisters and I did, but he'll bring guests toys or take their hand to lead them to a cool toy or place that he loves, after the usual warming up period, of course.

I think he's just a pretty laid back kind of kid. He likes to play alone and always finds something to keep himself occupied. Of course, he LOVES to play with other people, but he's just as happy playing with blocks or reading himself a book. I just wish he would start talking already. He's *very* bright and understands everything, he just refuses to speak. :(


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[g-mama]

Paolo is much more of an introvert, like his mama. We both take time to warm up in new situations before we feel comfortable.

Benjamin is much more of an extrovert, like his dad. He is a charmer and knows how to work a room. He smiles a big cheesy smile when you get out the camera and loves having his picture taken. He loves getting attention from anyone, stranger or otherwise.

Funny thing is that I think Paolo watches Benjamin and is jealous of his ability to interact with people in a way that gets him so much positive attention because he can't do it nearly as well. It seems to get on his nerves and then he acts out and ends up getting negative attention instead. I wonder sometimes if this will stand in the way of their relationship, KWIM?

It's so interesting to see their little personalities develop and see who they become!


~Kristen

Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
Marco 12-05

[Moneypenny]

DH and I are classic introverts and I think DD is as well. I am a weird introvert (I think because I'm a Leo) in that people really sap my energize but I love to be the center of attention. DD seems to be just that way. When we're out, she loves to look at people, catch their eye, and then start dancing and showing off for them, but once they talk to her or get close she clams right up. I think she has personal space issues and doesn't care for people to get past whatever arbitrary boundary she is comfortable with.

I think there are lots of Myers-Briggs type tests online, although you can only take the official version through a certified Myers-Briggs instructor/facilitator.
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]
We made it to a year!

[brittone2]

So far I'd say introvert, but I know it can change , so who knows what the future holds. DH and I are both introverts. DS takes a while to warm up to people he doesn't know well and doesn't seem to enjoy large groups at all. Once he gets going he's a total ham and loves attention, but it takes him a while to get there.

He also seems to be a bit of a homebody.

We'll see if it holds true in the future, but for now introvert is my impression.

[nitaghei]

Definitely an introvert, which is totally expected. Neel really needs his space and hates having it invaded; sort of tough in group daycare. I'm the only person he voluntarily hugs or asks for hugs and kisses. Makes me feel bad for DH :(, though they connect in lots of other ways. I think he is going to as solitary as I am.

Nita
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a PWD and a cocker (at the Rainbow Bridge)

"Moderation is best in all things." Hesiod

[jbowman]

I think Ellie is an extrovert. She gets overwhelmed and acts shy on occasion, but on the whole she is very chatty, loves going out, and is quite a pistol! Today she walked next to the cart as as I shopped for groceries and made a lot of friends! :)

I am not surprised at all, as I have always been very extroverted (one of my fav. high school teachers worried about how I'd do in college--not b/c she didn't think I was smart enough, but b/c she thought I'd be too social! ;)). DH is quieter than I am, but I would say he is an extrovert as well--we both have "larger than life" personalities, so I suspect that Ellie will be the same. It will be interesting to see what DD #2 is like!

[JacksMommy]

Ok, this is boringly psychologisty of me, but I just wanted to correct some misconceptions people have about extroversion and introversion. It really isn't just about whether you are outgoing and friendly vs. shy and withdrawn, which is something that a lot of people think. It has something to do with that, certainly, but it is possible to be the "life of the party" but still introverted and to be a shy person but still be an extrovert. It has more to do with how you get your energy (being around others vs. alone) and how you process information and make decisions. Introverts tend to do this internally - they tend to think before they speak and usually come out with a fully formed idea. Extroverts, on the other hand, process their information with others, so they are better at "brainstorming," jsut throwing ideas out whether or not they make any sense. Introverts get "recharged" (something many have mentioned) alone or with another close friend, but can still have a lot of fun and be extremely sociable, although they do tend to prefer situations where they know people vs. strangers. Extroverts get energy from being around others and become more energized vs. less as a social situation wears on.

I tend to think that these things are a part of us like our personality and don't change too much over time. I thought I was an introvert because I tend to be shy around new people, until I actually took the test and read up on it and realized I'm more of an extrovert (alhtough definitely in the middle of the continuum) because I like to run ideas by people and create an idea together vs. me just doing it on my own. I get energy from being around creative dynamic people who inspire me to do better.

I think it's hard to evaluate kids because there is so much going on, like stranger anxiety, that can be confused with extroverstion/introversion issues. I suspect my son is an introvert, but we'll have to see!


Anyways, I know this is sort of OT, but I just had to speak up!

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

[mamicka]

At this point I would say extrovert but sometimes I'm not sure. I think it's really dependent on the particular crowd. I'm definitely an introvert & have to force myself to be more social than I'd like because I think that it's healthier than not speaking to another human being (besides DH & DSs) for weeks at a time (which I'm definitely capable of). DS, on the other hand, wakes up every morning & greets me with "lets see people".

Allison

[mudder17]

Right, this is exactly why I'd like to take the test for Kaya. DH and I have both taken the test and he's definitely an introvert, while I'm sort of in the middle, but slightly more on the extrovert side. I do get a lot of energy from being around people, but I also need to recharge afterwards, if that makes any sense. Kaya, though, I think is one of those life of the party introverts. She needs alone time to recharge, but she loves being around new people, just as long as they don't all overwhelm her at once. She doesn't tend to get shy around new people either, as long as it's one or two at a time. Anyway, this is only based on what I've observed ever since thinking about it. It's why I'd like to get ahold of a test to try out.

And like you said, we'll have to see, but it's one of those things I find interesting to think about anyway.

Overall, I've found this thread to be fascinating because it's interesting to see how kids are (or at least how their parents think they are) vs. how their parents are. Thanks to all who responded!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
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Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[jbowman]

>Overall, I've found this thread to be fascinating because it's
>interesting to see how kids are (or at least how their parents
>think they are) vs. how their parents are. Thanks to all who
>responded!

This is exactly what I was thinking, Eileen. I wonder if *I* think Ellie is outgoing b/c that's the way I see myself! Thanks for starting the thread.

[MarisaSF]

Well, since you put the "or what?" into your question, I'll say that we've deduced that Jazzy is a Hufflepuff.... for all you Harry Potter fans.

She's just happy... a bit goofy... very loving... generous... kind... quite smart... and not very good at Quidditch.

;)

ETA: But, as you said, maybe I'm just projecting qualities I'd like to have myself.. though I think DD's ball-handling skills have already surpassed mine. :P

[mudder17]

Hee, hee! I like Hufflepuff people, so ya'll are welcome to our house any time! :)

I have no idea what Kaya would be...she likes to manipulate things with her hands and would rather take something apart than use imagination to play with it. For example, I have a Lego house that I put together for her and thought she might enjoy putting the people in there, but no, she wanted to take the house apart and try putting pieces back together. My sister got her a M&D wooden train with blocks and she sort of made it move, but really spent all her time taking it apart and putting it back together. She really is outgoing and charming and loves pretty much everyone without distinction (which is why she wouldn't be a slytherin) and in some ways will be the life of the party, but she also likes to do her own thing. She's starting to develop a sense of humor and likes teasing other kids or animals. She definitely likes to be silly at times (yes, the silly streak runs in my family and not DH's), but she also likes to observe things before doing or taking part. I notice that with many social situations, she'll take a scan of the room before entering and deciding what she wants to do. She is definitely quite intelligent and surprises me sometimes. But she's also not one of those geniuses, as far as I can tell. Anyway, this thread has really been fun to read and to help me reflect on DD and who she is. Thanks to everyone who took part--it's been fascinating, really.


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
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Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[KBecks]

I really don't know yet with Alek. He's perfectly content to play by himself, but he also gets a kick out of other kids, and isn't too afriad of other people.

[squimp]

Thanks for posting Laurel - that is really interesting! I've never been interested in those personality tests, but your post makes me more curious about the complexities.

[MarisaSF]

thank you for taking the time to post this and for the accessible explanations, Laurel. I knew the differences, but didn't have time to type it all out yesterday. Your version is much more eloquent than what I would have written anyway!

[MarisaSF]

>Hee, hee! I like Hufflepuff people, so ya'll are welcome to
>our house any time! :)

:)
Kaya and Jazz can play Quidditch together and you and I can slice up the oranges and provide the Gatorade!

You're so smart, Mama. You may be sorted into Ravenclaw.

[JacksMommy]

I actually love personality inventories, when they are used well. We did it in our workplace and it was so interesting to see other people's motivations and how they thought about things and why that made them easy or hard for me to work with. :)

It will be interesting to see how all our kids turn out!

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

[mudder17]

Actually, in HS, I definitely would have been in Ravenclaw, but my recent test shows I'd be in Hufflepuff. :) Yes, I'd like to think I could be in Gryffindor with the "cool kids" but alas. ;)


Eileen

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Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz