How would you feel?

[annasmom]

I would be livid!! Especially for those people like your infant niece and your FIL, gosh, and the child's ELS teacher and anyone else with whom she may have come into contact who has a supressed immune system. This is not something to be taken lightly. I lost someone very close to me because she became infected with a respiratory illness while immuno-compromised, so this is an issue about which I am really sensitive.

[knaidel]

Nope, you are not out of line to be upset by this. I would be, as well.

[calebsmama03]

I would be furious. You are not out of line at all.
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
And Miss Purple, 5/05

[mamicka]

How utterly irresponsible! I'd be furious. You are not, at all, out of line.

I'd like to hear her explaination of why her behavior is OK.

Allison

[icunurse]

While I respect everyone's right to privacy (especially with communicable diseases), the fact is that it is a child involved who is at an age that she can transmit disease to other people (bites, bloody noses, cuts from playground, etc). So, I would think that she should have at least notified the school nurse just so she would know. I would also think that she would tell family members who could be at greatest risk. While you don't want to tell the world (that is the child's business and you certainly do not want some people afraid of her because of the remote possibility of transmission), there is also a way of being responsible for others while respecting her privacy. Just another reason for everyone to use "universal precautions" at all times- treat everyone like they could be infected with Hep, HIV, etc when dealing with blood.
Traci
~Connor's Mom 02/2004~
Agency paperwork completed - waiting (and waiting) for another baby!

[JBaxter]

I just found out that the school asked her to retain a lawyer that all further conversations would be from the schools lawyer. What the exact issues are I am not sure she did give them all her medical records in Chinese and made a statement to the fact " if they wanted to know what they said they could pay to have them translated". Not only was there a blood issue but the child has a spitting habit and has been repremaned in the past for spitting in another childs face. Her response to that was " he should be vaccinated". On top of all this drama she is a TEACHER in the same school system. Our family contains several nurses and a few dental professionals we would have known how to deal with this but now it is blown WAY out of proportion in the community due to the fact she lied. Its sad because she sees nothing wrong with what she did and is refusing to let the school put and accident plan in the childs records. Her assumptions are that all children are vaccinated so it shouldnt matter x(

FYI this is the 3rd child she is adopting in 2 yrs and she has 4 bio children 1 of which openly opposes the adoption of this latest child. Her other adopted children are also classified special needs 1 had polio and one has developmental & medical issues
I could ramble on and on about this !

[DebbieJ]

Wow, what a mess.

I would be totally and utterly angry if my child had come into contact with hers and there was no mention of the situation.

Yes, there is a vaccine, but not everyone has it (yet).

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[mudder17]

Wow, your cousin really sounds like she's living in a dream world. Yes, her child does have a right to privacy, as does she, her mother, but this is just about as irresponsible as it gets. Plus, vaccinations are not 100% foolproof anyway, even if she thought all children are vaccinated. And what about her FIL? I'm so angry for you, but I also think that this is an issue that needs someone in "authority" to sit down with her and help her to understand. Because it's something that can't be dropped.

I hope this all ends up with an appropriate resolution. Big hugs to you Jeana!

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[mommy_someday]

ITA with everyone that your cousin is being completely irresponsible. I would be *livid*! I can't fathom that she is a teacher and doesn't comprehend the seriousness of what she has done. I wonder if someone contracted the illness as a result of contact with the little girl, would your cousin be legally liable for medical expenses and such? Does anyone know the answer to this?

I hope someone can help her to see why this is such a big deal and why it's **her** responsibility to inform others, regardless of whether or not all parties are vaccinated. I hope no one (your DC, FIL, etc.) ends up with the illness. (hug)

[dr mom]

When I read your first post, I have to admit that I saw both sides of the issue - wanting to protect an innocent child from possible discrimination, versus needing to protect other children and immunocompromised adults from a potentially life-threatening and moderately contagious disease. (but, as a mother, would *I* want to know - oh absolutely, without a doubt, my child's well-being would certainly override everyone else's "right to privacy" and consequences be damned - lofty though my ideals are, when it's MY OWN child in harm's way, Momma Bear comes right out!)

This post has me scratching my head, though - if they wanted to know what was in her medical records they could pay to have them translated from Chinese? What the heck?? Sounds to me like your cousin's behavior has passed from an ethical grey area into the realm of the truly bizarre and selfish.

How sad that a little girl is caught in the middle of this mess. :(

[trumansmom]

My mother adopted a baby who was born with AIDS. This was back in the 80s when AIDS was an automatic death sentence. While she didn't make him wear a sign saying "I have AIDS", she did make sure that all people who had intimate contact with him (by intimate I mean diaper changes, fixing boo boos, general things you would do with a child in your home or school) knew. He lost a playmate over it. Unfortunately it was a next door neighbor. And at age 4 that was a very difficult thing for him. However, it was the right thing to do. Anything else would have been ridiculously irresponsible.

FWIW, he'll be 18 in February and is looking at colleges. He's a very, very cool kid. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[trumansmom]

My mother adopted a baby who was born with AIDS. This was back in the 80s when AIDS was an automatic death sentence. While she didn't make him wear a sign saying "I have AIDS", she did make sure that all people who had intimate contact with him (by intimate I mean diaper changes, fixing boo boos, general things you would do with a child in your home or school) knew. He lost a playmate over it. Unfortunately it was a next door neighbor. And at age 4 that was a very difficult thing for him. However, it was the right thing to do. Anything else would have been ridiculously irresponsible.

FWIW, he'll be 18 in February and is looking at colleges. He's a very, very cool kid. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[JBaxter]

I recently found out that my cousin has been delibertly concealing the fact a child she recently adopted has active Hep B. She has known since Aug ( about 1 week after temp placement) She told no one including the childs school Her ELS teacher helped her w/ a bloody nose with out gloves and my cousin didnt feel it necessary to let the teacher know about the possible ramifications. This child has been around my family on several occassions my sons are all immunized but there are several members of my family that arnt including my infant niece ( she is on a delayed vac schedule). We also found out that she didnt tell her FIL who in on anti-rejection medication for a kidney transplant so he is immune suppressed( and is a family friend) Her MIL & FIL does ( overlap times) daycare before the regular daycare lady gets there.
I feel SO angry that I was kept in the dark about this situation. I feel bad for the little girl but its my cousin I am angry with. I can tell you that if we had known no one would have anything but concern for the child but we would have been equipt for any possible exposure but its the fact she hid it that is making me so angry. And However slight she put people close to me at risk with out their knowledge. I way out of line feelin this way?

[Melanie]

Jeanne - that is excellent.

ITA with your mother's tactic.

I can understand the OP's concern about her child fitting in with their new environment, but I think that close high-risk people should be aware. My children are not Hep-B vaxxed, and at one poitn a relative had a test come back positive in error. I would nto have kept them from the relative, just made sure if for some reason blood was shed we were careful.

[Melanie]

Jeanne - that is excellent.

ITA with your mother's tactic.

I can understand the OP's concern about her child fitting in with their new environment, but I think that close high-risk people should be aware. My children are not Hep-B vaxxed, and at one poitn a relative had a test come back positive in error. I would nto have kept them from the relative, just made sure if for some reason blood was shed we were careful.

[mommy_someday]

Wow. What an amazing story. Your mom sounds pretty cool herself. Thank you for sharing. :)

[KBecks]

**FYI this is the 3rd child she is adopting in 2 yrs and she has 4 bio children 1 of which openly opposes the adoption of this latest child. Her other adopted children are also classified special needs 1 had polio and one has developmental & medical issues
I could ramble on and on about this !**

I don't really understand why adopting more than one special needs child is somehow a problem, unless she is having difficulty providing for the children.

Her behavior regarding the Hep seems very wacko, though.

[JBaxter]

She works full time and spends probably 3 - 4 hrs a night on the computer alot of the work is handed off to the 2 older children and her husband she is trying to figure out how to adopt another child and getting around income and home size guidelines. Its frustrating to see from a family view point then it was leaked about what she was hiding w/ the latest childs medical history. Her behavior has gotten increasingly odd during the past 2 yrs. Most of our family is of the same mind in that she has beautiful kids now stop and take care of them

[aliceinwonderland]

I would feel pretty okay that this mother protected their child's privacy. I believe school personel, etc. are trained to handle blood properly.

FWIW, my son is in fact NOT yet vaccinated against Hep B (neither was I, turns out,until recently, school made me do it), but this is a risk I as a parent am taking and not expecting the world to accomodate.

As always, just my 2 cents.

Edit: Ok, protecting privacy is not the same as actively trying to hide this fact(lying?) from school nurses and such, so yes, I think I'd be upset there too, as it becomes a public health issue...

[cmdunn1972]

I would suspect that your cousin is concealing this fact because she doesn't want her family and friends to label her child as "the adopted Hep B kid". As a parent of our DS, who we adopted, I can understand her sensitivity in avoiding labels. That said, there are certain people, especially when the subject is health related, who are on a need-to-know basis and should be told.

I might, in confidence, ask your cousin what, if any, precautions are being taken by her and her immediate family to prevent the spread of her DC's condition to family, friends, schoolmates, and the general public. While I understand that she doesn't want her child to be ostracized by schoolmates and insensitive family members, sometimes in the face of health risks telling a few people becomes necessary.

In short, I would be concerned about your cousin's lack of responsibility when it comes to preventing the spread of her DC's condition while being sensitive about the social issues. It's a delicate balance for her to walk between protecting the general public and protecting her child's well being.

[emilys_mom]

I do feel for this little girl, but I would be so angry. She is crazy- this has put so many people at risk for no reason.

[Vajrastorm]

I agree with Eri completely.

The school should be using universal precautions with ALL kids. Period.
They are called "universal" for a reason.

The mother in question should not be lying about her child's health. I think there is difference between non-disclosure and false-disclosure.

I understand being upset, I probably would be too. On the other hand, you've now gossiped about this child's medical status on an open bulletin board. I know you didn't mention anyone by name, but see how easy it is to disrespect someone's medical privacy? I'm not attacking you at all, and I apologize if it sounds like I am.

[mamicka]

> On the
>other hand, you've now gossiped about this child's medical
>status on an open bulletin board. I know you didn't mention
>anyone by name, but see how easy it is to disrespect someone's
>medical privacy?

Sorry, but I don't get it. I see nothing "gossipy" about the OP nor do I see that anyone's medical privacy has been disrespected.

Allison