Episiotomy questions... maybe TMI...

[Radosti]

I had a very difficult delivery with Aaron being 9 lbs 12 oz at birth and 2 weeks early. I had an episiotomy, a bunch of tearing and the doctor had to use the vacuum on Aaron. I obviously could not walk for days. But I improved rather quickly. The sutures are supposed to go away on their own. I have a gyn appt on the 17th for follow-up.

Aaron will be 5 weeks on Tuesday. As far as I know, the pain and the sutures should be pretty much gone. For the most part, I have no issues, but I do have a constant dull ache down there. I also braved the mirror and I could see a few sutures still showing. I have no idea how people go back to having intercourse at six weeks, the pain is still too intense for me to even be remotely interested.

Is this normal? I know I probably had a lot more bruising than someone with a 7 lb baby. Gosh, the girl who was my roommate at the hospital had a 6 lb 12 oz baby girl ( a full 3 lbs less than Aaron) and she was able to get up and shower and walk around within hours of giving birth. Hubby actually joked that he saw her do a cartwheel on the way to the bathroom.

Someone tell me when I will finally be able to abandon that squirt bottle for after going to the bathroom. I used the powder room to pee a couple of days ago as Aaron was too fussy for me to go upstairs. Oh my did that burn. Someone tell me that it'll go away soon... please!!!

[trentsmom]

I wish I could remember when I stopped hurting. I remember at my 6 week check-up the gyn said she could still see some granulation. So there was no way I was going to have sex anytime soon! Oh, and sex didn't feel good for a while. I would just grit my teeth and wait for it to be over. Real sexy, huh?

[bcky2]

i was exactly where you are with my first. all the same problems with the sutures and all. what i found out at my 6 week appointment(at which i was still using my squirt bottle) was that some of my sutures ripped out, i had about a billion of them x( my doc said that with a little more time i will feel better. this may be tmi but it hurt to have sex untill i had my second ds and my new doc fixed everything down there. i guess i was a mess from first ds and he had to cut me when #2 was born no matter what just so he could fix the issues. make sure when you go that you are healing correctly and that nothing came loose or is healing wrong. you dont want to wait till #2 to feel better. a little more tmi but i couldnt even use a tampon untill after ds #2 because of it :(

[ethansmom]

I swear a man came up with the six week rule. Honestly, I asked my midwife at my 7 wk appt and that was what she told me. I didn't have the pain I had expected after delivery, but it took about a yr for sex to be comfortable (breastfeeding didn't help).

Hope you feel better soon!

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

While I can totally understand how much pain you must have been in, I really dont think that you should be in this much pain now. If I were you I would call or go and see the doctor just to make sure that everything is healing okay and that you dont have an infection of some sort.
Best of luck!

[DebbieJ]

Oh honey, I have been there. I had a nasty, nasty tear that took my MW an hour to suture.

What you are experiencing is TOTALLY normal! Oh my, I don't think we even attempted sex until about six months. Even now, two years later, I can still feel it if things aren't quite right.

Just take it slow. You are all stitched up, your hormones are wacky, your are sleep deprived, and you just had a baby! Give it time, be gentle, and you'll find your groove again.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[Radosti]

It looked ok down there when I looked. Just painful. I have a love/hate relationship with that squirt bottle. I tore in the front, so it hurts quite a bit if I don't squirt right away. I'm glad to hear that it's normal... I should have had a c-section. In fact, the week before I gave birth I asked for a fetal/pelvic index and the doctor refused. It was a different doctor from the one that delivered Aaron. That doctor wanted to take me to surgery and it got me mad for some reason (because they let me be in labor for 24 hours first), mad enough to get the extra energy to finally push Aaron out.

[stcelia]

Well, a c-section is no bed of roses, either. Give your body a little time to heal. I had a second degree tear that took at least 8 weeks to heal up enough to wear pants. It was probably another month before I wore jeans. The seam caused me too much pain. Do your sitz baths, use your squirt bottle, and don't worry about intercourse for the time being. You did a great job and pushed a big baby out. Be proud of yourself for your accomplishment and realize that every body is different and yours may need a little more time.

Jenn

[Momof3Labs]

I had a very tough delivery with DS (tearing, episiotomy, tearing, forceps, etc.) and had a long recovery, too. I didn't get down there with a mirror, and honestly can't say when I put away the peri bottle, but had a lot of granulation tissue that hurt like he!!. My OB removed the granulation tissue (that hurt like he!! too) and then my recovery quickened. But until she did that, sex was downright unbearable. Since you're going in soon, your OB will check to see how you are healing, and don't hesitate to explain how much discomfort you still feel. Mine said nothing about the granulation tissue at 6 weeks, so I thought it was all in my head until someone else mentioned something similar on another board. That spurred me to get it checked again, and get the problem fixed.

[JBaxter]

Nathan was 9lb7oz but had a 14 3/4 in head. It was well past 6 weeks before I agreed to "relations". I tore and remember a sore itchy/burn for quite a long time. I also bled for over 7 weeks after I had Nathan my ob said that isnt uncommon w/ bigger babies.
Hope you feel better soon.

[AmyZ]

I'm totally with you on this one. I had a 4th degree episiotomy with a forcep delivery. I couldn't sit down without the donut until at least 6 weeks. At my post-delivery check I asked my doctor if I would ever feel better (I had friends who were running around, mopping floors 2 days after - and I could barely walk for weeks!). The doctor said it was common to feel uncomfortable for even 6 months!Now, it didn't take me that long, but I just started giving myself permission to take my time and not feel rushed to do a zillion things. I also put a pillow on my hard wood kitchen chair (no seat cushions) and sat on that for around 9 months.
Sex?? I'm thinking it was 8 months or so -- no kidding.
Don't worry ... you will start to feel better soon!

Amy Z

"Ma!" to Eliana May 2/5/04
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[daisymommy]

I only had a small tear in the front, which required all of 3 stitches. And yet it burned like heck to go to the bathroom unless I used the squirt bottle for weeks. Even MONTHS later I was still having that dull ache and pain when I used the bathroom. They were going to send me to a specialist to see what was wrong, but the pain did eventually just go away on it's own...can't remember how long it took though. But that was with only a 7 lb. baby and tiny tear! So I can imagine how you must feel! Yowzers!

FWIW...It was maybe a good solid year before I enjoyed being intimate again.

[lizajane]

i had a 9lb 9.5 oz baby 8 days early. so i hear ya. i had an episiotomy and a bunch of tearing. the ob wouldn't tell me how many stitches i had. he said, "i never count." if it had been three, i am sure he would have remembered three...

we couldn't sucessfully have intercourse until 11 weeks and it was NOT without pain!

i popped a stitch about a week postpartum and boy did it sting!!

so i think it may still be normal. but a good idea to check in with your dr to be sure.

[dmg222]

Hi,
Here I am feeling like a wimp - DD was 6 pounds 2 oz. and she did quite a nice job tearing me up (3rd degree tear!) It took at least 6 months for me to feel somewhat close to normal.
Good luck and take your healing at your own pace,
Daniella

[bcky2]

does it ever make you wonder how some women end up preggo when their baby is only 1-2 months old? ummm.........that was never a worry in my house ;)

[american_mama]

Radosti and others:

I am reading the book "Ever Since I Had My Baby: Understanding and Treating the Most Common Phsyical Aftereffect of Pregnancy and Childbirth" and am recommending it left and right. If you have ongoing issues with vaginal or pelvic pain, incontinence, needing to pee all the time, or difficulty pooping, this is the book for you. It was recommended on these boards by our very own chrissyhowie, who knows the author (both are urogynecologists... find one near you at www.augs.org). Walking, going to the bathroom, and sex are all too important to involve regular pain and discomfort.

I just recommended this book to a friend who had a 10 lb. 1 oz. baby, big episiotomy, forceps, and is facing her second post-childbirth surgery to repair damage. Since she jumped on the book, I thought you and others might find it helpful too.

[ribbit1019]

No worries here either. But I couldn't imagine, I was still so uncomfortable at that point.

I couldn't recall exactly when we resumed regular activity so I asked DH. He states "Um, forever! Really like 3-4 months." I remember it being uncomfortable for a very long time after that though. I had about 4-5 stiches that were completely disolved by my 6 week post partum checkup.

Christy
Maddy born 6/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png

Little Man due 3/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/cKLom4/.png
Co-Owner Ribbit Baby

"I did then what I knew how to do. When you know better, you do better." ~ Maya Angelou

[DebbieJ]

Thanks for the book rec, Karen!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[new_mommy25]

I haven't read everyone elses replies yet, but what you typed pretty much describes what I went through with Noah. I had so much pain down there and my sutures took forever to dissapear. I used the squirt bottle and tucks for a really long time. There was defenitely no chance of sex at 6 weeks. To be honest, it took about a year for me to feel normal and have sex without pain. Hugs to you mama. I hope you feel better soon.

[Radosti]

Thanks everyone. I'll have to order that book. I'm glad I'm not abnormal. I know several people who had a kid a year. So, I was wondering how that was even possible and what was wrong with me to be so scared of intercourse. Not that I want another kid so soon... oh no... I need recovery time. I'm thinking 3 years apart is a good number :)

He is totally worth all the pain:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v281/radosti/AaronJan8th013.jpg

[kboyle]

With DS1 they cut me...gasp, twice!! I ended up with about 30 stitches. I sware I didn't feel right for about 6 mos, if not more. At my 6wk pp visit my midwife said there were a few sutures that still hadn't dissolved. I also had the dull ache.

With DS2 they didn't give me an episiotomy, but I did tear in a few places. I ended up with 3 tears, 2 had 1 stitch and the other tear had 2 stitches. At my 6 wk everything looked good. I still had the dull ache though, for about 2-3mos.

5 mos later, sex still sucks, but I am bfing, so it's like the sahara down there :) Sorry for the imagery :)