1st B-Day Gifts or No Gifts?

[BaileyBea]

We are planning DS 1st bday party on March 4th. We are hiring a Music Together Teacher for a short music party. DH and I are on the fence whether we put "No gifts please" on the invitation.

Reason for no gifts would be: he just got some toys for xmas, we don't want a whole lot of big plastic toys because we have a small house and we like wooden toys more, and since he was born seems like we've been writing Thank You cards non-stop. We feel like if we keep asking for gifts no one will like us anymore. Ha Ha!

Reason for gifts... well..it's rude to say "No gifts please," he's a baby and it's his birthday, we are spending a lot of money on the party and very nice party favors (rythym sticks and egg shakers) and it would be good to get something nice in return.

Also, we attended 3 parties recently that had "No gifts" on the invite and these kids would be invited to DS party. I don't want them to feel like they need to bring a gift since we didn't take a gift to their party. Hummmmm!

Is there a nice way to say Gifts are Optional?
TIA!

[hez]

"Your presence is our gift"?

I have no idea. I stink at most things manners-related and the proper way to convey that thought. We did manage to convince my side of the family last Christmas that clothing and books would be much better than toys, and that worked very well, actually. Same for his birthday. We neglected to say anything this Christmas, and Payton's buried in toddler toys now ;)

[BaileyBea]

I like "Your presence is our gift"

I'm going to run that by DH. We know our parents will give a gift, and his GodParents, and Aunts and Uncles. We were thinking that that would be enough.

Like you, we guide our parents but realize it's not the right thing to expect the same thing from friends.

I dunno, it's hard to decide and not say something that will offend someone. We are also trying to raise a child who has fun toys to play with but is not totally spoiled and never appreciates toys because they grow to expect things.

DH and I find the hardest thing to do at times is to keep it simple. And we are trying not to be rude, snotty, or ask for more gifts. We really want everyone to come and enjoy the day w/DS, eat, and play music. It's a challenge this whole gift thing.

[nov04]

If we had done a big 1st b-day party, we would have written "best wishes only please". I've seen this done frequently and we did it for her baptism. Lots of ppl did bring gifts to the baptism, but I really felt like the pressure was off others and they didn't feel obligated.

[jbowman]

We asked that our guests not bring gifts for DD #1's first birthday, but I forget how we worded it on the invitation. FWIW, I don't think it is rude to say "no gifts please."

We wanted to have a big party (which was a blast!) and to celebrate DD #1's big milestone, but we didn't want anyone to feel obligated to get her a gift.

[Globetrotter]

I really wish we had asked people to refrain from bringing gifts to the kid's first birthdays! We had big parties, so both of them ended up with so much stuff, that our playroom quickly looked like a daycare center!

Your child won't know the difference. I had a couple of moms tell me that birthdays are all about presents. I beg to differ!

For the past couple of birthdays (my kids are six and two), we've requested that people don't bring presents, but if they would like, to donate to a particular cause. I don't think it's rude, at all, to say no gifts please! I would say "Your presence is your present. No gifts please." I find that most people want to bring *something* so the donation idea seemed to work fairly well. In the future, I will probably ask for items like school supplies for a school in a low-income neighborhood (be specific about the type, based on what the school needs) or something like that. My friend did this, and the school was extremely appreciative! An older child will understand, so it's a great lesson, too.

For the record, my kids get plenty of gifts from family and from us, so they are in no way deprived! You should see our house LOL
Kris

[Piglet]

For DS1's 1st birthday, I wrote a poem in the invitation and politely asked for books instead of toys. I didn't want obnoxious toys in the house, but he is 4 1/2 and the books he received that day are still going strong - they take up very little space and I wrote who gave him each book in the cover so he knows that they were given by special people.

I just remembered that part of the poem (it had a few verses):

Instead of a toy
Adeev likes a good read
Please bring a book
Your favourite - indeed!

For DS2, I have way too many toys already (and MANY books to boot, LOL), so I will probably do something along the lines of asking for donations to a cause or requesting no gifts.

[Globetrotter]

That's so funny. I also wrote a little poem explaining how ds has so many toys, followed by my request for donations in lieu of gifts. Glad to see I'm not the only one who does such things :)

Kris

[CiderLogan]

Personally I don't think saying "no gifts please" is rude. I recently got a birthday invite for two neighborhood kids that said "no gifts please - your presence is present enough" or something like that, which I thought was cute. Personally I wouldn't imply that presents are optional, because then people would think they are rude not to bring one - better to make it clear one way or another. JMHO.

Jenny
Mom to Julia, 8/03
...and another GIRL due 5/29/06!