Help! I think DD has trust issues! Sorry a little long.

[CBB]

DD was hospitalized for 3 days over the weekend. Last Wed she had fever over 102 was fussy. Thursday DH stayed with her at home. He paged me at work and told me that she was breathing fast. I had him bring her to the ER. Within an hour, her fever spiked up to over 104, her heart rate was over 200, oxygen lever below 90%. Her XRay showed pneumonia. She tested positive for RSV. She also had a complicated otitis media. While in the hospital, every 2-3hrs she was getting Nebulizers, vital signs, meds. DD always hated the taste of flavored meds so that we always had to force into her. After a while, she would scream everytime someone came to the room. I did keep telling her while in the hospital that she's sick and everyone is helping her to feel better. She had IV put in for IV fluids and antibiotics. The next day, the iv fell out. 4 attemps were unsuccessful and we finally told them not to try any more. It was such a traumatic experience for the poor thing (and us).

We were discharged Sunday. Since I've noticed that she doesn't seem to trust us. She keeps saying "no" to everything although she was doing that before she got sick, but not nearly as much as she's saying now. It's a struggle getting her changed and dressed. Everytime I offer something to eat, she pushes it away and says "no". She refuses to sit on the highchair and refuses wearing the bib. But if I leave the food there and pretend not to watch her, sometimes she'll walk over and eat a little herself. I think part of it is that her appetite is still not back to normal yet. However yesterday, her first day back to daycare, she ate most of the food that she wouldn't touch at home. Does it sound like that she just doesn't trust us and is resentful for all the pain that we put her through, or is this just a normal terrible two stage? Any suggestions? Anyone has any suggestions in what kind of food I can try to get her to eat, any good recipes? DD has definitely lost a few pounds -- her double chin is gone.

TIA!!

[TraciG]

I'm sorry she went through such a bad experience & was so sick !

[cara1]

I don't know. You know your daughter best, but I would think she's still a little young to be sophisticated enough to have developed that sense of mistrust. If she just had RSV and pneumonia this past weekend, I would think she still just feels awful. And for that reason, and having been through so much, that she wants to be negative, and exert some control, and probably isn't very hungry anyway. Hang in there.

[JacksMommy]

I agree with PP, I think your DD (poor baby!) is probably still sick and getting over it. Being hospitalized is hard on everyone, not to mention all the other things she had to go through (plus feeling yucky).

I wouldn't worry about it too much and wouldn't push the food - she will eat when she is hungry. Appetite is one of the first things to go when my DD is sick.

As for good good to serve, well that depends on what she likes, of course, but yogurt with pureed fruit is always a hit at our house.

Hugs and best of luck!

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

[JacksMommy]

I agree with PP, I think your DD (poor baby!) is probably still sick and getting over it. Being hospitalized is hard on everyone, not to mention all the other things she had to go through (plus feeling yucky).

I wouldn't worry about it too much and wouldn't push the food - she will eat when she is hungry. Appetite is one of the first things to go when my DD is sick.

As for good good to serve, well that depends on what she likes, of course, but yogurt with pureed fruit is always a hit at our house.

Hugs and best of luck!

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

[kaylinsmommy2]

It sounds less like a trust issue and more of a change in routine issue. For example, kids get thrown off when they go on vacation and will start acting different.

I think that as she starts to feel better and starts to get back into your normal routine, things will go better. Maybe that's why she ate more at daycare - because she associates it with some type of routine.

(((Hugs))) what a tramatizing weekend (for you)! Just take it slow and don't force her to eat. Things will get better soon, I'm sure.

As for suggestions on foods to eat, I remember that I was able to get extra treats when I was sick as a child. My sister who was sick all the time had ice cream (as suggested by her doctor at the time!) every time she had a fever! But maybe pick out some of DD's favorite foods (even if they're less healthy than your typical meals) just for a special "welcome home" treat? IMHO, I don't think she will want to try new foods that you've never made before - if it were me, I'd want to have more things that remind me of home.

Caroline
"ma meee" to Kaylin 6/5/04

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[kozachka]

I am sorry to hear you had such a traumatic week-end. ((Hugs.)) Just wanted to say that our DS went through a similar stage of refusing to sit in his high chair, having a bib on and/or being fed. And he was not sick at the time so I think maybe this is what your DD is going through right now. Considering that she is eating a bit, I'd just follow her lead and let her eat at her own pace the way she wants to. We ended up moving DS to a regular chair and worked on the bib. It took few days, but now he wears it most of the time. And, yes, he's a much better eater at daycare than at home. Toddlers are smart little things and know what they can get away with and with whom ;). Hope your DD feels better soon.

[hautemama15]

i had the same problem when DS was in the hospital, but he was there for 2 weeks. a very sick little boy. for about a month afterwards he seemed to be afraid of everything and didn't "trust" me or his daddy at all. it all sounds normal. at such a young age she doesn't realize why everyone is poking and prodding her and she feels terrible anyway and mommy & daddy let the nurses and doctors cause her pain (because mommy & daddy had to). so, for awhile she may act that way. don't worry, it is so normal. not sure abou the food part of your question though. my little guy loved oatmeal and after his hospital stay it was the only thing he would eat besides mashed potatoes. he ate anything easy for awhile. my DS was a tough stick too as for the IV part. It was gut wrenching watching them eventually put it in his foot. I feel for you!!

[CBB]

Thanks so much for the replies! DD is better the last 2 days - she's not as resentful as when we first came home. The first few days she was totally afraid of us getting her to do anything. She still says "no" a lot which may just be the stage.

Thanks again!