Birthday Etiquette/Present Question

[Kungjo]

A mom brought her twins (3 year old boy and girl) to my daughter's birthday. They brought a gift bag with a Barbie doll and a book inside. Does that constitute 1 present from the two of them or the Barbie from one and the book from the other?

Reason why I'm asking is that my daughter was just invited to their birthday party. We have RSPVed and will be going but what do I get them? Do I get them 1 gift to play with together. Something that they will both like or do I get them each a present? How much would you spend total on them? Any ideas on what 3 year old twins would like?

Thanks,
Joyce

Mama to Kiki (DOB 1/6/02 and Risa (5-3-05)

[ColorBlue]

I would say that since its one gift bag that its one gift from the both of them and I would address the thank you to the both of them.

I do think most people when giving to twins would give two gifts, one to each of them, especially at that age. I would suggest art supplies, paper, pencils, paint etc. My four year old goes through a TON of art supplies in a given week. Also this would be an easy gift to give some to each because its really for them to share. I spend about $25 bucks on gifts for birthdays but have seen that most other people spend less. (Not one child at my dd's four year birthday spend nearly that much--not that I care just pointing it out for your info). If you spent even $15 on art supplies you could probably come up with a nice looking gift.

Tracy

Grace...my big four year old girl.
Ellie and Maddie...my little one year old girls.

[kelly ann]

In our experience we have had siblings come to the parties and just bring one gift. For example, my friend brought her 3 children to DS 3rd bday party and just gave one gift. The gift would have been the same whether she brought one or three kids.

In my world, the gift giving rules are not equal to the gift receiving rules. Meaning, the two kids gave you one gift, but that doesn't mean when it is their turn, they get one gift back. I would definitely bring a present for each child.

As for what to spend, it seems like the average gift around here runs $15-25.

This is a interesting question that you pose though. I have often wondered, now that I have two kids going to the party, do I bring two presents?

[Corie]

If I had two children going to the same party, then each
of my children would bring a separate gift to give.

[lisams]

I would get them each their own gift and spend what I normally do on gifts for birthdays on each of them. I normally spend about $15 so that would be $30 total in this case. That's what I do for siblings that aren't twins - I spend the same amount on each child.

[katerinasmom]

Since 3 year olds are not really the ones buying the gifts, I think it is unfair to expect one family to give two presents to the same child simply because they have two children attending the party. Regardless of who hands over the present or what names are signed on the card, the gift is from the children's family. Therefore, I think that the things your daughter received from the twins are actually a single gift and you can choose to send a single thank you to the whole family or to the twins (if that is how their card was signed).

Nevertheless, I think that when your family attends the twins' birthday party, you should get a separate gift for each child. At that age they need to feel like each one of them is just as important and liked as the other. They won't understand why one gift is given for the both of them to share. A prior poster's suggestion of art supplies sounds like a wonderful way for you to split a shared gift into two single gifts without breaking the bank.

And for what it's worth I spend between $10 and $20 per child on birthday gifts, depending on the age of the child and whether I can find a great deal on something. I once got a PlayDo Activity World set on sale for $10 after a coupon. It was a very nice gift for a 4 year old and looked more substantial than just $10.

[hautemama15]

i would buy them each a separate gift. I usually keep my bday gifts around $20. I tend to spend a little more on family members. You could ask around and see if the boy likes anything sports related or if they like playing outdoors, or are getting into games yet. My SIL youngest asked for computer software for her bday (Blues Clues, Dora, etc). I wouldn't hesitate asking their mom what they like to do.

[Globetrotter]

See, this is why I love the no gifts option!

If I attend a twin's party, I get something for each child. I really think it's important for twins to be treated as two individuals. The only exception would be if it's a nice game or something they play together. I have given something like that, but I always include an extra item for each sibling (some clothing or a book, or craft supplies). I hope that makes sense?

If two kids come to our parties (twins or plain old siblings, for that matter) I would only expect one gift. Well, actually, we've gone the "no gifts" route, but I would NEVER expect each sibling to bring a separate present!

Kris