Almost 3yo DS defecating all over the place :(

[SASM]

Ian is almost 3yo and we have been working regularly on potty training for the last couple of weeks. He has shown in several ways that he is ready ~ the main ones being that he was pulling off his pants and diaper (thankfully not in public) and telling us when he needs to pee or needs a diaper change. Unfortunately, he has been whipping off his diaper at nap time and smearing feces all over his room (it looks as though he tries to clean it up). He has done this 3 or 4 times. Today he did a new thing by trying this out in the morning! While I was still in my room, he went downstairs and whipped of his dirty diaper in my living room!! Thankfully, the feces only found its way into my oatmeal berber rug and the coffee table and not the upholstered furniture. We have tried pullups and underwear, timers, rewards, etc. He knows the big reward that he will get when he poops on the potty and constantly mentions it. I try to be routine and calm but firm, however, my patience is dwindling. I KNOW that this is deliberate and not a mistake ~ it's all about control ~ but OMG what can I do?!!! He seems to urinate into the potty without a problem and, while using pull-ups or underwear, seems to be holding it in okay. Someone suggested that I have him help clean up the mess but, as great as that sounds, he makes even more of a mess. Someone also suggested that I have him sit in it but I do not really want it more pushed into my carpet ~ although maybe I can move it into the kitchen onto some plastic wrap. YUCK!

PLEASE...Any suggestions? Any book suggestions for us and/or Ian?

TIA!!!

CROSS-POSTED IN TBMB

[ColorBlue]

We went through this with my daughter but a little bit earlier than your son. I was pregnant with my twins at the time and had terrible morning sickness so cleaning up poop every two or three days was not fun! I totally sympathize. So here is my two cents:

Personally I don't see this as a training issue, its a bad behavior issue and I would treat it like one. And I say that because you aren't supposed to punish for training issues and you certainly woudln't punish him for going in his pants. But you can punish him (in whatever way you do that...we did time outs) for the making a mess with his poop. When my daughter was doing this she was still in diapers and was usually doing it in her crib alone. She would have a time out when she did this and a favorite toy would have to go bye bye for a period of time. He is certainly old enough to understand that.

But because the temptation to play in poop was too much for her to handle (BTW yuck!) I had to put clothes on her that she could not remove herself, thereby removing her ability to give into the temptation. Maybe that is an option, overalls or a onesie shirt or a one piece outfit. We ultimatly had to change her into backwards pajamas for EVERY nap! That was a pain in the butt but it worked, and soon (a month or two) she forgot about playing in it and could go back to regular clothes for her nap.

Hope that helps a little.

Tracy

Mom to Grace 11/01 and Ellie and Maddie 10/04

[brittone2]

I'm coming at this from a sensory perspective, but I know OTs I've worked with have suggested lots of tactile play (play doh, finger painting, etc.) to maybe try to meet the sensory need in a more appropriate way. It might help sort of satisfy that urge ;)

I might also try to engage him in helping to clean it up...with you helping him hand over hand to wipe some of it up (even if it is just a little bit) so he associates that he'll be responsible for cleanup if he makes a mess.

I don't have personal experience w/ DS with this yet, but I've worked with kids who did this and this is what the OTs often suggested.

[kozachka]

I am not sure if what we did would help you, since our DS was much younger (1.5) than Ian, but we would have him clean up the mess and say something along the lines of "this poop/pee, it goes into the toilet. here it is in the toilet. let's flush. bye-bye poop/pee". Obviously, we did not expect DS to clean up everything, just to participate. Try to stay as calm as possible. I initially freaked out and showed how upset I was. DS thought it was great entertainment and continued messing up. Not making a big deal out of it and reinforsing the message "poop/pee belongs in the toilet" helped DS put things where they belong so to speak.

By no means I would put DS sit on the poop, it is yucky and degrading. I would make sure to have him in my sight for now so as soon as I see him pulling his pants down I can get him to the bathroom. Is there anyway you can restrict Ian's access to the living room? And put his PJs backwards while in bed.

[SASM]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your suggestions! I will give them a try tomorrow. I know this sounds horrible but, in addition to going a day without television, this afternoon I duct taped his diaper on (quick fix) and he REALLY didn't like it. I also did it again this evening. Hopefully, two "rests" with a ducttaped diaper will change things for the better tommorrow. Hopefully it will not make things worse...just needed time to research and have that little bit of security.