Holiday outfits from relatives

[1ceng1]

Thinking WAY in advance, but please tell me if this is shallow of me:

We have received several outfits from SIL and BIL for my DDs. Usually the clothes they give them are not my taste (too many cartoon characters or too "stuffy" looking), but DDs wear them when BIL and SIL are around.
Anyway, they gave them Easter outfits as Christmas gifts that are ok, but again, not my taste. Moms, you understand looking forward to dressing up your children for the holidays in just the right outfit for church and pictures. We will be seeing the ILs on Easter, do I put them in ILs outfits to be nice or go with my own choice? I love dressing up my daughters for the holidays. It's one of those things I look forward to, but then again, I don't want to seem ungrateful either.

Thanks!

[ellies mom]

Go with your own clothes. You are their parent not your ILs. You should be able to choose what they wear. Just because they give you clothes doesn't mean your DDs have to wear them. It is one thing to give holiday clothes with the understanding that they may sit in the closet, but it is something else entirely to expect them to be worn on the holiday. Quite honestly, I feel it is presumptious and rude. So, just dress your DDs in the clothes you want and don't worry about seeming ungrateful. You said thanks right? ;)

ETA- OK, If it is a holiday like Christmas, and they give you something casual enough to be worn in the run-up to Christmas (like a t-shirt with a candy cane or something), then it isn't that bad. I don't think relatives should presume to buy for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. But Easter is a one shot deal, so it isn't OK, unless they understand that it may not be worn, or they ask first.

[o_mom]

I was in the same boat last fall - ILs sent a halloween costume for DS1s birthday this year. I was really looking forward to making something myself and then they sent one (although a very nice one that wasn't totally opposite of our tastes). It turned out OK, since I spent way too much time on DS2 and wouldn't have had time to make something for DS1, but it was still really irritating.

I say have them wear what you want - maybe you can take them to Walmart for the $6 picture package in the ILs clothes, or have them wear it for a short time that day.

[cmdunn1972]

I'm not sure if you'll have other Easter activities before seeing your ILs. Perhaps you'll want to have Easter pictures taken? Go ahead and pick out your own outfit for your DD for those Easter occasions that your ILs won't be attending. Then, change your DD into the outfit that your ILs bought for when you'll see them. That way, everyone's happy. :)

Alternatively, you can make the excuse that "their" outfit didn't fit your DD at Eastertime. If you must, it's a wonderful excuse for your DD wearing the outfit that you chose for her. ;)

[kedss]

I would dress your DD's in the clothes that you want to dress them in. You only get a couple of years when you get to really decide what they wear, so you should get to decide what they wear.

just my 2 cents worth :)

[murpheyblue]

You're not being shallow or if you are, I'm shallow too. For DD's first Christmas both my MIL and DH's grandmother gave DD Christmas outfits (both of which were ugly IMHO) and then stated that they wanted to see DD in them at a holiday event. I understand the thought behind it but honestly, it's presumptious to expect me to dress my child in what YOU what to see them in especially for a holiday.

[kristenk]

Something similar happened to me over Christmas. I was going to go into the whole thing, but decided after typing for quite a while that it belonged in a different forum!

It's very nice of your BIL and SIL to give outfits to your kids, however, I really don't think that you have to use them on Easter. Maybe you could have the girls' pictures taken in the dresses or something, but I wouldn't put them in the dresses on Easter just because you'll be seeing the ILs. Also, if you have the girls were the Easter outfits that they were given, do you think it's more likely that they'll receive Christmas dresses or Halloween costumes or birthday dresses in the future...?

[bluestar2]

I, too, love dressing my DC and my IL's regularly give DC outfits like the ones you described for the holidays and I graciously thank them but have never used them, except for some Christmas pj's. They live far away and we don't see them for the holidays so it is easy to do. Often times they don't fit so that't what I tell them if they ask. If we were going to see them, I would try to pick one outfit and put DC in them when they are around but not on the holiday itself.

[jamsmu]

dress them how you want. If anyone asks, you can either say they didn't fit or that they just wore them the other day for an event (dress them in them and have a tea party--take pics with your digital to show how cute they looked.)

Okay... I know it sounds shallow--but it works. And if you do have the tea party then you aren't lying.

I finally told MIL, who gives cheap, hideous clothing--often the wrong size-- that we have too many hand-me-downs from twin friends and both DS's drawers are over-full. (Its true, though I'm not usu. one to turn down freebies.) Anyway, it worked for one xmas and 1 bday... but the uglies were back with a vengence this holiday (and some with KRU labels... hmmm...) Ouch! I feel mean!

[JElaineB]

I say dress them the way you want. If you are lucky your relatives will figure out that they never see your kids wearing the clothes they gave and they will stop giving them. My MIL (I hope) has finally figured this out. It just makes life easier in the long run.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[JBaxter]

I have found after having 3 children that the childrens consignment shop is very useful for those outfits. I try to return them ( even if for a store credit) if they still have tags. I decided long ago the holiday outfits I get to pick out ususally because I cooridinate for the family picture.

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

You are not being shallow at all.
However, if I was on the flip side, sending the outfits, I would much prefer you to be straight up with me about wanting to pick these outfits yourself. Suggest something you could use instead of clothes, maybe books with special holiday meaning?

Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 ETA 05-22-06