Who puts baby to bed?

[maestramommy]

We are trying to have DH put my DD to bed each night. The routine is, I nurse her til she's sated, he changes and dresses her, then tries to put her down. In the past it too a long time for her to fall asleep, but it was okay. In the last month she cries a lot, and the only way to calm her down is for me to nurse her again. So that's what we've been doing, but lately I've been thinking maybe I shouldn't let her use me as a pacifier, so tonight we tried it the original way. She cried for 30 minutes before I gave up and went in again. I didnt' nurse her, but rewrapped her, used a pacifier and rocked her. That worked. Then DH went in to keep watch for a few minutes more. She did end up waking again but he went in and she fell asleep again.

Does this ever get better? Rocking her seems to work, but Dora doesn't really like being held by DH that much, and esp. not in cradle position. Do we just keep trying the same routine? Should DH start practicing the cradle hold until she's okay with it? I need some ideas because she's getting older, but I want to avoid letting her cry it out if possible.

[ellies mom]

She really isn't that old. It sounds like she is doing great. Of course this is coming from someone who nursed her daughter to sleep until she was 18 months old.

Have you considered changing the order? How about changing and dressing her before nursing and then handing her off to DH for him to put her to bed. Maybe DH just needs to hold her differently than you do. My DD like to be held up to my shoulder with me patting her back. Or rock her for a few minutes after nursing before laying her down.

[octmom]

I think Veronica's suggestion about mixing up the order is a good one. Perhaps Dora is getting sleepy nursing, then waking up too much when she is changed, etc. If you change first, you can nurse, but try to hand her off to your DH when she is relaxed but still awake.

Disclaimer-- I am another one who nursed their child to sleep forever, so take any advice from me with a grain of salt. ;)

Jerilyn
DS, Sean 10/03
expecting #2! EDD April 1, 2006, but anticipating a C/S in March: IT'S A GIRL!!! :)

"Baby makes days shorter, nights longer, home happier, and love stronger."

[kimbe]

I agree with Veronica! Try changing the order. Change her and put her pjs on, then nurse her, then hand her off to be burped and put down by DH. That way, she'll be sleepy, but not totally asleep when you put her down.

We found that letting DD cry wasn't worth it. She fell asleep faster and better if someone just went in and stayed with her until she calmed down. Of course we let her do her "wind down" cry-whine thing, but if she gets hysterical, we go in.

HTH!

[maestramommy]

Good suggestion you everybody! I'll try changing the order. Thanks!

[newnana]

I agree with all the PPs. I'd like to reiterate the changing positions thing. DD is 8 months old and still only likes to be held upright with her head on my left shoulder. Cradle never worked with her. With DH, she likes to be held a little lower so she can hear his heartbeat. If she's not held correctly, she's not happy when she's tired and nothing else works for us. It took us a while to figure out what the right positions were, but once we did it's been magic (barring gas). Good luck!
Michelle

edit: sorry for the pic, trying to fix my avatar and didn't mean to do that!!!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/31793.jpg

[maestramommy]

But awwwwww, so cute!

Thanks, I will see what we can do about positions. She's been getting better about taking the bottle from him, and and at a dinner party this weekend, she let him hold her in his lap for a long time. So I guess we're progressing in little steps.