How often do you and your dh go on a date?

[Christeen_Trevor]

I was thinking back on 2005 and we only went out 5 times. We do not have any family around. The closest family is 6 hours away. I really want to have a meal alone with my husband. The kind of conversation that does NOT include eat a bite of meat then you can have banana. Thats our normal dinner conversation with our 21 month old.

Christeen

[aliceinwonderland]

This is a big issue for me. We have no family in the area (just a sister who works and studies who cannot be of any help right now). I just spent about a month with my parents and we went on more real, dinner-type dates than we have been on all year, I think! Makes me sad. I like pretty clothes, "stole" a skirt from my little (I have 2) sister that I thought was so cute, only to unpack it and realise that I almost never go to the kind of places that would warrant wearing it!

That said, we do okay, we try to do something once a week. Once DS goes to sleep, above-mentioned sister "listens" for him (she can do this while sleeping too, obviously), so we have drinks and appetisers at a bar or whatever. He also drives me to school so we can chat uniterrupted (it'd be quicker if I took the train, but we need the time together :))

[lisams]

Oh, about once every other month! It seems we use babysitting for things like city council meetings, parenting workshops at school, shopping for big things like furniture or appliances more than going to dinner alone.

This weekend we are dropping DD off at my parents for a movie/dinner date night. I'm so looking forward to it!

[1ceng1]

About once every 3-4 months...I know, pathetic.

[g-mama]

About once a month.

It'll be a while now til we can go out though because I wouldn't want to ask our usual babysitter to watch all three boys, especially a newborn, for quite some time, at least til the baby is a better sleeper. When ds2 was an infant, we'd put him down to bed around 7:30 and then go out so she didn't have to handle both at once, but that takes some time to establish that kind of routine and trust that they'll stay asleep.

My MIL watched them on Friday night while dh and I went out to dinner and she was completely wiped out when we arrived home. It's always nice to have someone tell you how hard it is - a little acknowledgement is a good thing, especially in front of dh! I don't think she'll be offering again any time soon.


~Kristen

Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
Marco 12-05

[mudder17]

Umm...do you really want to know? ;)

We have a baby sitter almost once a week, but it's so that we can go to choir rehearsal. There are times when the baby sitter doesn't show up, so I end up at church by myself and have to catch a ride home with someone else.

The last time DH and I went to something that one would consider a date (i.e., fun, and without Kaya) was probably at either the last Harry Potter movie (#3 not #4) or Lord of the Rings (#3). I don't remember which one came out later, but it's the one that came out later. That's the last time DH and I did something fun without Kaya.

We're going to try arranging something with our baby sitter either this weekend or next so that we can see the next HP movie! I'm even tempted to have him put Kaya to bed so that we can actually have dinner and a movie!!!!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[tina-t]

Unfortunately, not often enough. We probably went out 4 times last year.

[hez]

Once in a blue moon!

We did go see Chronicles of Narnia... in the middle of the afternoon... while my parents watched Payton and put him down for a nap... not really a date, was it?!

We carpool, so there are 30 (to 60, depending on traffic!) minutes each way without Payton in the car that we have together 4 days a week. Does that count? ;) Man, we need to get out more!

[octmom]

DS turned two at the end of October and I think DH and I have been out five times (in the evening) in the 26.5 months since DS was born. We have no family living in our town either and the person I trust most, my mom, lives several states away from us. We went out twice for wedding anniversaries-- once my mom watched DS when he was a few weeks old and we grabbed a *very* quick dinner before rushing home because we missed DS and I was so worried, the next year his daycare teacher watched him when we went to dinner (longer this time) on our anniversary, twice we left him with my mom when we went to the movies while we were visiting my parents/ on vacation, and once my mom watched him when we went to see the Rolling Stones. So, he's only had a sitter once in his life and it was one of his daycare teachers.

DH and I work within a couple of blocks of each other at the same university, so we do meet for lunch often, as much as once or twice a week. We had lunch together today. :)

In our situation, DS is at daycare all day and we really want to be with him when we are not working. Because DH and I are able to get away together for lunch often, I still feel like we have time for adult conversation, even if it is one-hour increments. That said, I would love to find a reliable sitter that I felt comfortable leaving DS with around once a month so DH and I could have a "real" date. With #2 coming soon, I don't see that happening for a while. ;)

Jerilyn
DS, Sean 10/03
expecting #2! EDD April 1, 2006, but anticipating a C/S in March: IT'S A GIRL!!! :)

"Baby makes days shorter, nights longer, home happier, and love stronger."

[bluestar2]

Um, maybe once since DC were born two years ago? Never mind, I don't think even once since I don't think they've ever been left with a babysitter.
Yes, pathetic but we just don't have anyone around we can leave them with. We don't have family nearby and our friends here don't have kids so leaving them with not-so-easy twins is something we are not comfortable with. We do spend quality time after they've gone to sleep and during naps on the weekends so we can actually concentrate on our conversation. We've been talking about how nice it would be to get out alone more. Date number two might be happening tonight since my mom is visiting and we can head out for a meal after they've gone to sleep (they're too much for her to handle while awake!) :)

[elliput]

Recently? Almost never. The last time I remember going out for dinner alone together was about a week and a half before DD was born so about Dec 29, 2004. We have only been out once together since DD was born, and that was for a friend's wedding. Also, my parents just happened to be in town otherwise DD would have gone with us.

I know this is going to sound pretty cheesy, but I love going out as a family. DH and I were married 12 years before DD was born, so we had plenty of "just the two of us" time. Eventually I know we will want time for us with no kid(s), but for now, everything is with DD.

[hautemama15]

we try to get out at least once a month. of course my DD is 16, almost 17 and my DS is 15 so they can stay alone for a few hours. I am sure once this baby comes we will be staying home more.

[barbarhow]

Once a month at the very most-probably more like once every 2 months.
We are lucky enough, though, to be going away for a night this weekend. This will be the first time since Jack was born almost 3 years ago. DH is pretty nervous about leaving them with my sister. I think they will be fine. I hope......

[iznav]

Well, sadly (however more sad for my DH than I) I can beat that. I really can't recall a date with just the two of us. I can picture us sitting at Chili's alone but that was years ago. Actually we both enjoy going out with another couple or a group. Which we did alot before kids. We have only done that a handful of times snce DD was born almost 4 years ago.

But I agree that I like going out as a family too. We too were married for nearly 9 years before with had our first, which can make for a tough transition. I know my husband definitely has more of a problem with it than I do.

Other than when family happens to travel in our direction and stay with the kids for an evening we've only had "real" sitters maybe twice!

[TaChapm]

Honestly since Jackson was born we have not been out by ourselves at all. Not even once! I think the closest we have come to having dinner just the 2 of us was when I was in the hospital having Tyler and we got to eat takeout alone in the room. How sad is that. We have no family or close friends around here and therefore don't have a babysitter that I would trust. We could easily manage going out to a nice restaurant with Jackson but Tyler is another story. I won't even go to Taco Bell with him. :)

Jackson and I have a date to go see Sesamee Street Live in Feb. :)
I guess those are the dates I have to look forward to.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson 11-10-02
Tyler William 6-9-05
OMG!!! Baby #3 Due September 5, 2006!

http://b4.lilypie.com/gzWfm8.png

http://b1.lilypie.com/kLMem8.png

http://bd.lilypie.com/UEZ3m8.png

[jerseygirl07067]

Practically never...though my one and only New Years resolution was to aim for once a month.:) I should get planning as the month is already more than half over!

Marcy

[smallestangel]

We're lucky. My mom watches Jacob for us, so we are able to go out a couple times a month. Nothing big, usually just a movie and then straight home.

If it wasn't for her though, we'd probably never get out of the house alone. There is no one else I'd trust with him.


Amanda

[ctmom]

dh & I just went out this weekend for a nice dinner, without kids, for the first time in 6 months!! We have a babysitter we trust, but when you add the cost of the sitter to a night out, it adds up quickly. We have some family close by, but when they come over we usually spend time with them and not have them babysit. Dh & I did promise each other, when we were out alone, to try VERY hard to plan a date once a month. Now that the girls are older, dd#2 just turned 2 last month, I'm more comfortable leaving them. We figured it didn't have to be a $100 dinner, we could just go to a local $2 movie theater and go out for some pizza. I am proud to say we already booked out babysitter for Valentine's Day, now I just have to figure out what we are doing!

Mary

[kedss]

uhm, once every 2 years?
LOL

[newnana]

oh you all make me feel so much better about not trusting people with DD!!! Most of the time DH agrees with me that with family so far away that we don't know anyone well enough that is close to watch her. Sometimes he gets weird about me not having found someone.

We've gone out 2 times since DD was born, both time we were lucky enough that his parents were available.

[peasprout]

We're going out tonight! And we took a daytrip on Mon and went snowboarding,...it was awesome! We're very lucky because DH's dad lives close by and loves watching the kids. My mom isn't very maternal and has no idea how to change diapers so she's not much help.
Going on date nights is so important to keeping yourselves focused on each other and your marriage. If we didn't have family around, we would leave the kids with our friends. We have several friends with kids and it would be easy to set up some kind of date night co-op where we take turns once a month,...we did that a few times and it worked out great. I also have a lot of single friends that love the kids and consider it a "treat" to watch them! ;) We're leaving the kids with one of them tonight and I know they're going to have a blast.

JP