I don't know how to play with my baby

[samsonsmom]

Maybe this has something to do with being the youngest in my family and never having babies or children younger than me around when I was growing up. But I don't really know how to play with my baby! We get down on the floor on a blanket with some toys, but then I don't really know what to do besides just watch him. Right now all he really wants to do is put stuff in his mouth.

DH, on the other hand, is a natural. He's always coming up with weird stuff to do that I never would have thought of.

So what DO you do with your baby?

Also, I see all the different toys in the stores, many claiming to be developmental. A lot of them look like they would be entertaining and I'm tempted, but I'm kind of a minimalist and don't want my house (small) to be taken over by toys. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-toys and we do have quite a few already, but I'm just wondering how many toys a baby should have.

[californiagirl]

Honestly, I don't think little babies need a lot of playing with; I think you're probably doing just fine. As long as you cuddle him and interact with him and let him move around, you've basically got it covered. Bring him along and talk to him while you do your thing. As he gets older and more into play, you'll naturally figure out some more of it.

We went to mom and baby yoga. Starting at about 5 months, we went to the park (she loved the swings, still does). She liked to go to cafes and watch people. She liked a baby gym. She liked things that squeaked. At about 6 months, stacking cups started to be good. If you and your baby like toys, then by all means, go wild -- but honestly, they're
not important. Get the ones that work for you.

[o_mom]

Gymboree has a book called "Baby Play" with lots of good ideas. You could look for it at the library if you want to check it out before buying. They would probably have other books near it that would be similar.

[buddyleebaby]

I feel the same way all the time. I go to bed at night thinking about what else I could have done.
I just talk to her. "Is that blue block yummy? Can mama have a bite?"
or " Let's see what this feels likw. This is smooth!"
We read a lot. We sing and talk and play peek-a-b00. I "show" her how to use a toy . And once in awhile, we have an all out ticking session.
I think since it's monotonous for me, I feel like I'm not doing enough with her. But the truth is at this age, they like to bang, chew, and feel. What is completely boring to me is fascinating and magical to her. And it's worth it when I see her do something mew.
Don't be too hard on yourself. At this age, talking and cuddling are the name of the game, and I'm sure you're doing a great job.

[samsonsmom]

Thanks for the reassurance. It's good to know DS doesn't think I'm a bore. :)

About reading: he grabs and mouths the book so much that I can't even read it. I know that's totally normal, but everybody talks about reading to their babies and I'm wondering how they actually do it.

[Rachels]

You're probably doing just fine. Babies like to be talked to; they like to look at interesting things (faces, patterns), to hear sounds, and to touch and be touched. Mainly I talk to my babies, just anything: "We're going to change your diaper now, then you're going to sit in your bouncy seat while I make the chicken. First I put on the savory. See the savory? It's green. I shake it. Shake shake. Next the paprika..." etc etc. Apparently it's fascinating. ;) I also make the usual array of silly sounds while holding or bouncing him on my lap. One of the games both my kids have loved is "naming the parts." I touch them in all the spots I'm talking about with both hands or hold their hands and touch the parts: "This is your head and these are your eyes and this is your nose and this is your mouth..." and when I work through the whole body, give a general up and down tickle and say, "Those are your parts." Apparently this is also fascinating.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[californiagirl]

Some people have babies that don't grab books; that's a nice thing in a totally different way from having babies like yours and mine that do. Some people give the baby one book and read another; that's a valid solution. Holding the baby down because you've heard that reading is important is not a valid solution, just in case you were worried -- if that's what it would take, then just remember that chewing books is considered a pre-pre-reading activity.

We explored books the way that worked for DD. Which means that originally we explored very sturdy books. At a year, she was still really only interested in books that squeaked or felt interesting, although she was more respectful with them and also kind of liked ones with pictures. By 18 months, she was completely obsessed with books.

[maestramommy]

how funny, I feel the same way at times, and I was the oldest! I haven't gotten much in the way of toys yet, because it seems like all the fun toys are for 6 months and up. Right now her main toy is a chicken with crunchy wings off of her gym mat. We also got her some plastic keys on a ring. But what she seems to enjoy for the longest period is conversation, and interaction. She's getting a lot more verbal, so I'm pretty much relegated to, "Oh really?! You don't say! Tell me more!" It sounds totally inane after the umpteenth time, but she could go on for a long while. The other day I figured out I could listen to satellite radio on my computer so I picked up the classical channel and used her arms to conduct to the music. She liked that. I put her in the Baby Bjorn facing out so I had more freedom. You can dance with your baby when you do that as well.

Totally understand about the minimalist thing. We live in an apt. so I'm not anxious to pile on the stuff.

[juliasmom05]

I had the same question because DD does everything but look at the book. And I was doubting myself a little as well as to how good I was at teaching her about reading. Here is a link to my post. Everybody gave me great advice and reassured me that I was doing a great job. We ended up getting some books with baby faces and DD loves them. She will actually laugh and point to the pictures of the babies (in between eating and throwing the book :-).)

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=290446&mesg_id=290446&listing_type=search

Your DS doesn't care how you play with him, just that you do play and interact with him. Unlike you he doesn't have any preconceived ideas of what playing is :-). We have the best time doing simple things like tug of war with her socks or my scarf or looking at ourselves in the mirror.

Hang in there, you are doing a great job.

edited for spelling

Marci

Mom to Julia 4/05

[jenjenfirenjen]

I was going to suggest this book as well. When DS was real little, I had no idea what to do with him but thought I should be doing something. This book helped. Now I realize it probably didn't matter what I did, as long as I was giving him attention. I'm sure you're doing a great job.

I'm a big believer in getting out and doing stuff. My DS just loves to be around people and check out the scene. Strolling around the mall, running around the children's section at Barnes & Noble, playing at the local park. Whatever. It keeps us both from getting bored.

[kimbe]

Alicia, you took the words right out of my mouth! :) I go to bed thinking the same thing you do!

DH assures me that all I really need to do is just be with her and she will be fine!

Amy, to add my thoughts to the great advice you have already gotten --DD and I do lots of dancing. Music has calmed her since day one. When I don't know what else to do, I pick her up and put in a CD and dance around for awhile. (GREAT exercise too!) DH also insists that I allow DD to play by herself for a little bit during the day. I know that he is right, and I do TRY to let her play alone -- but she is so much fun!

You are doing a great job!

[mudder17]

Hee, hee, I think this is a totally normal belief of any new parent. :) Actually, I'm the second of 4 kids, but I was still clueless when DD came along. My sisters at least had done some baby sitting, but until DD came along, I had never really cared for an infant, let alone a newborn!

Anyway, I think PP have it exactly right--the baby just wants to interact with you at this age--well, really at any age before they form friendships of their own and even after that, they enjoy interacting with you on some level. I didn't do the best job (I don't think) of talking to Kaya the whole time or singing or teaching her or anything like that. But what I did do was try to spend at least some part of the day (hopefully multiple times per day) where she was the only one who had my attention. That may have just been me cooing at her and just saying, "Hello Baby! How are you today?" Sometimes I rattled a toy for her or helped her rattle it. I read about all these cool things that parents have done with their infants and toddlers (slinging their infants and narrating the day as it happens, reading to them 2 or more times a day, from the time they're newborns, playing music for them every day, singing to them, dancing with them, doing art projects with them every day, taking them outside and introducing nature to them every day, and so on and so forth) and I think, "Gee, I could be a much better mother if I did all these things!" But then I realize, you can only do so much and really, some days you're going to spend more time with your child than other days doing these things. And what you do with them as they grow into toddlerhood (or into the crawling stage for a younger infant) HAS to depend on what they're interested in. Yes, you can expose them to a lot of things and I certainly believe in doing that and providing them with a variety of opportunities. But you also have to watch them and be sensitive to what THEY want to do.

For example, DH and I LOVE reading and that's probably one of the hobbies we each do on a frequent basis. So I figured, "Aha, I'll read to Kaya every day." But only until recently would she actually sit still during the day to listen to us read to her. And actually, she will happily sit in her reading area and look through books on her own--recently I've "caught" her flipping the pages and narrating them to herself. But that's only a recent development. What did we do to foster it? Well, DH has read Good Night Moon and It's Time for Bed to her every night in her crib before she goes to bed and he's done it since she was 4.5 months old. And when she was a newborn, I would sometimes read to her while she nursed. As she got older, I would sometimes sit her on my lap and let her turn the pages of the board book however she wanted. She would sometimes identify objects that she recognized or she would point to things that interested her and I would identify it for her. And yes, she loved holding the books upside down. These "reading sessions" earlier on might last 5 minutes or 10 seconds, but I just let her do it as she wanted. She is certainly much more interested in books now and I'm glad I created the reading area for her (it used to be the couch, but she actually prefers the little playpen area with blankets and pillows on the floor and some stuffed animals and a basket of books). I used the Supergate and left it ajar, but sometimes she'll go in there to read and ask us to close it. :)

We probably do have more toys than we need, but that's partly because I haven't put away her infant toys (she seems to find the oddest uses for her older toys) yet. But actually, what we have more of than anything are the books. I have tried to decrease the number of toys (not always successfully) by trying to focus on toys that will have lasting value. So this would be blocks, wooden figures (mostly Holztiger right now), Lego, dolls, musical instruments, stacking cups (these have seen a ton of use), and balls. But yes, she has a riding car (that was a push car), puzzles (that she will eventually outgrow), stuffed animals (how the heck did she end up with so many? people like to give stuffed animals as gifts), and a few other odds and ends that I need to donate.

As for art projects...well, I thought about getting Kaya a wooden easel, but honestly, she seems to do just fine with her Little Tikes table and two chairs. I was going to do crayons, but she doesn't really like how they work in the restaurants, so she's mostly using the crayola water soluble markers (awesome invention, by the way!). Funny thing is that tonight, she took the caps off the markers and put each one on her fingers and waved them around and touched various objects with it. She also had fun identifying all the colors. She's got all of them, although brown and black are still not solid for her. Play doh? Well, I made some maybe 4 months ago and she didn't know what to do with it. I may try making some again. Chalk? Ah, she has a few pieces of chalk and a cool placemat that has a chalk surface on the back. She really enjoys scrawling on that. So when the weather gets warmer, I may get her some sidewalk chalk and send her outdoors.

I may be going totally on a tangent, since your baby is definitely not a toddler, but you definitely asked a good question and it now has me thinking of ways that I do interact with Kaya and ways I could interact with Kaya. It also has me thinking of ways to trim down her stash of toys (we have several of her wooden toys out on loan right now) based on what she is and is not interested in.

So what do I do to play with Kaya? Well, if you look at a month's time period right now, I do a little bit of drawing with her, a little bit of dancing, a little bit of singing, a fair bit of reading, a bit of outside exercise (probably a lot more when the weather gets warmer), I take her to playdates (or have one at home), I let her climb over me (or DH), we tickle each other, I push her around in her umbrella stroller or I let her push it around, I watch Signing Times with her and do the signs with her, I let her feed me (she loves this one), I talk to her, I listen to her, and I will sometimes call someone up and let her talk on the phone with that person. Do I do all this every day? Of course not. But we try to do some of these things so that in 2-4 weeks time, we've done all of it. It depends on our playdate schedule (we usually have 2 a week), on other things DH and I have to do (like appointments), the weather, and what she feels like doing. Now that she's older, I do feel like I have the opportunity to do more with her, but when she was an infant, now that I look back, what she really enjoyed was watching/listening to us have conversations with her and babbling back to us or just acting silly with her. One of her favorite words these days is "silly". :)

Anyway, I don't know if any of this was helpful, but I do thank you for starting this thread!

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[maestramommy]

ha ha! Hey Eileen, when you total it up you do a LOT with Kaya. Love how you've gotten her into books. I haven't read much to Dora yet, her attention span is pretty short for sitting on my lap. But I hope to get there soon. Other more primitive concerns are currently taking precedent.

Actually, dancing and conducting with Dora seem to capture her interest the longest. Partly because she's in the Baby Bjorn and being carried is something that keeps her happy for a long time. We started dancing in front of the mirror today and she got a kick out of that too!

Sorry, hope I didn't hijack :-)

[samsonsmom]

I do spend quite a bit of time with DS in a pack on my back while I putter around the house. He's happy up there for at least an hour, then I usually get tired and take him out or he needs a diaper change or it's time for a nap or whatever. Fact, I think if that's ALL we did, he would be happy. But I've just been thinking there are probably developmental reasons to do other things with him.

[mudder17]

Heh, heh, I was wondering how long it would take Dora to learn to conduct! :)

Remember, Kaya's attention span for books was very short in the beginning, unlike some of her playmates. So I think it just varies from child to child. I think because we have a lot of books around and Kaya sees DH and me read books a fair bit, that has helped her to develop an interest over time, but she definitely was not one of those who would sit and look through books the way some of her friends did. I'm just glad she's starting to do that now. :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[maestramommy]

When DH and I went to South Africa a couple of years ago, we saw many babies on their mothers' backs. Probably that's where the maya wrap was inspired. It looked to me like they spent hours up there. If you think about it, they probably get a birds-eye view of a lot. I'm sure that would contribute to their development, if not physically, all the others.

[BeachBum]

I have this book too. My son is just a bit younger than yours and I have gotten some good ideas from it. Some stuff you will already know, but that's ok too because it gave me confidence that I was doing the "right" stuff.