How do you find time for "romance" w/ 2 kids?

[Mom to Brandon and 2 cats]

Specifically, with a toddler that still sleeps with us and a 5 month old whos crib is in our room? Lately the little one has been fussy and getting up every hour or two at night. I've been so tired.

I know I'm neglecting this aspect of our marriage, and DH is very frustrated, but how do you find time and still sleep and do everyday household things?

[Metermaid]

I had a very similar situation. I was just so tired and there were always kids in the room at night. Does your toddler go to sleep in your room or does he/she come in the middle of the night? Mine always came in the middle of the night. What I ended up doing was instituting a strict cut-off time for myself. Early. Like 9PM. I decided that at 9, my day is over. No more cooking or cleaning. Very rarely television or computer. I would get into bed with a book or magazine. DH is welcome to join me. If either/both of us wants intimacy, it has to be then.
This worked for us. Because there was no other time for intimacy. Or even just for talking and catching up with each other when we didn't have to keep interrupting ourselves to deal with the kids.

[JulieL]

I don't know, sorry not the answer you're looking for! What works sometimes on the weekends is a shower together when DD is napping & DS is watching a dvd. Otherwise after dinner my time is consumed w/consoling my fussy baby & getting her to sleep, I usually crash around 9-9:30. It's hard but 1-2 times a week of "romance" is all I can get right now, DH realizes it's the luck of the draw and after a pg w/pelvic rest he's happy with any! It got better the first time, it'll get better once again ~ it better :)

eta: my apartment is only slightly tidy 1/2 the week, the other half pretty tidy - can't to it all!

[Tondi G]

Our situation is DS #1 in our room and DS#2 in the crib in their room. We usually get DS off to sleep and then cuddle some in our bed then sneak off to the bathroom or living room! We sneak it in when we can..... occasionally when my mom watches the kids for us we go out for dinner and then rush home for some us time and then go and pick up the kids!

You get it in where you can! eventually both of our kids will be sleeping in their own beds and we'll actually get to be intimate in our own room!!!

Good Luck

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

[janeybwild]

>It's hard but 1-2 times a week of "romance" is all I can get right now,

Wow, my DH will probably want to move in to your house! 2-3 times a month is a good month for us lately. For it to happen, there is almost no spontaneity. It’s planned, not at bedtime when we're both too tired. We try to be affectionate outside of those times. But, it’s hard. Before having kids, I would inwardly feel smug that I would never be one of *those* wives, who lost interest post-kids. Not sure if its lack of interest, hormones, body image, chronic fatigue, stress, crankiness or the lunar cycle, but I am one of those wives. I can see that if I don't work on it, this will become a permanent reality. Not a good view forward. Thanks for the nudge!