Gender-based toys - WWYD?

[Mamma2004]

When DS plays at friends' homes he always seems to gravitate toward the dolls (with strollers, swings, etc) and the kitchens. Should I conform to the notion that boys play more with trucks and girls play more with dolls, or would I be a more encouraging Mamma if I were to provide so-called girls' toys as well? DS is fascinated by babies (living, breathing ones) and heck, I spend so much time in the kitchen that his fascination seems only natural.

I never had brothers so raising a boy is all new to me. I don't want to force him to play with certain toys, nor do I mean to deprive him of others. I just don't know.

Thoughts??

Stephanie

[kedss]

I've always wondered if more boys played with dolls as kids, more dads would change diapers? Maybe you could give him some pots and pans to play with that you don't care about much, and I wouldn't worry if he plays with dolls and strollers at his friends' houses. If he really likes a particular doll, maybe you could get him one? I've always hated the way we gender label our kids at such an early age.

And yes, we have lots of trucks and balls and 'boy' toys and he isn't really attached to any stuffed animal in particular, but he loves to help me stir when we make cookies or pudding.

Sorry, if this seems rambling, but when I taught preschool the boys loved to play barbies and dress up and none of the kids thought it was weird, but if the dads came to drop kids off, they would always bring a 'macho' toy for show and tell...grrr....

[ribbit1019]

I feel it is important to encourage whatever they are interested in. DD loves music, so musical instruments fit well on our house, YKWIM? I say if he likes the kitchen and dolls them get him some!
I hate the whole gender based thing and wish more moms would let their little boys play with dolls. Mine will have dolls/kitchen if he shows interest! But he will have access anyway since he has an older sister. ETA: Who also has trucks, trains and cars. ;)

Christy
Maddy born 6/09/04
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Little Man due 3/02/06
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Co-Owner Ribbit Baby

Frogs are lucky, they eat what bugs them.

[lizamann]

There are gender-neutrally colored kitchen sets out there, and boy dolls that you could get. I think that's what I would do if I had a boy. I give my dd trucks and trains, but I also know that that is a bit more accepted than the reverse. But it shouldn't be!

[kijip]

Let him play with what he wants. As he gets older, he will tell you. Respect those likes and dislikes and buy gifts accordingly. I have a train playing with son who occasionally puts his doll down for naps and then says "wake up baby, we are gonna go see the trains" Then he puts the doll in the little stroller and takes baby for a "walk" around his train set. He sleeps with said doll at night. He loves toy kitchens (I did just sell his rather large set and plan to get him a smaller kitchen when we get our apartment that is much smaller. But the surplus $$ on downsizing the kitchen is going to more trains...always wants more train stuff :) )

ETA: Toby picked PJs the other day at TCP and picked Red and Pink (He could choose between red, pink, green and blue, all the Hanna knockoff contrast stripes ones) and now he wears the pink top with everything, day and night. I've had to wash it 2 times in FOUR days...

[JElaineB]

Well, I've bought my son a doll, a stroller and my mom bought him a kitchen. He has tons of Dora the Explorer toys. He also likes trucks, cars and trains too. I do not want him to only play with "boy toys" or "girl toys". That notion is outdated anyway. I want to raise a kind, compassionate, male human being, who perhaps someday will be a parent himself. Fathers push strollers, care for babies and cook, why shouldn't my son play with those things now?

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[linsei]

I try to encourage him to play with whatever interests him. I noticed that he would head for kitchen toys in other kid's homes, so we asked for a play kitchen for Christmas and I bought him play dishes, toaster, blender, etc. to go along with it.

He hasn't really taken an interest in dolls yet, but if he did, I would encourage that also. He doesn't really like stuffed animals either - at least not in a carry-it-everywhere-you-go kind of way.

I don't have any brothers either, so the boy thing is new to me (mostly because he likes to play rough and is really inquisitive) I just go along with what he finds interesting. FWIW, I played with cars when I was a kid and still turned out prissy ;) So go for it!

Linda

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[kboyle]

I have a truck OBSESSED son who LOVES his to put his Playmobil knights to bed in the Playmobil Dollhouse I got him for Christmas. He wakes them up, makes the knights feed the playmobil babies bottles and put bibs on them. He loves "shopping" with his shopping cart and cooking in his microwave. EVERYONE made fun of me when I got him a dollhouse for xmas, but he likes it, so I'm happy. OH, and one of his favorite colors is PINK!!! :) He's got pink monster trucks, a mainly pink blanket (John Lennon theme), and ALWAYS chooses pink items first if it's an option.

He TOTALLY plays with toys like a boy though, very destructive no matter what gender type of toy he is playing with, like the knights forcefully feed the bottle and then cheer and scream when they little baby burps, it's pretty funny. His trucks crash over the dollhouse, but he's got to make sure none of the "residents" got hurt.

Let him play with what he wants, he'll let you know if he doesnt like it, or it's too girly for him. DS doesn't have a doll, but he's got a Cookie monster that goes down for naps and eats food, so it's like a doll. :)

[lovin2shop]

I would also point out that it may be just that the dolls/kitchens, etc. are exciting at little girls houses because they are new and different than what he has at home. If you get them for him, he would probably enjoy them, but his interest would be the same as with his other toys once the newness wears off. That's what happened in our house anyway. So, I wouldn't discourage you from buying these things from him, but I would only if you think that he needs some new toys to play with now. In other words, don't think of the traditionally girl oriented toys as any different from the toys that you already buy.

[Saartje]

Just let him play with what he wants to play with. If he seems interested in a type of toy, that's the type of toy you should provide. That will help set the stage for him exploring his own interests as he gets older, too, rather than trying to conform to whatever the popular kids say he should be doing.

[jbowman]

Well said, Jennifer! ITA. :)

[MelissaTC]

My DS asked Santa for a kitchen this year. He "cooks" every day, serves "meals" and "coffee" to DH & I and even told me in the car the other day that he wants to be a chef when he grows up. He has a stroller and a baby doll. He also loves his trains and trucks. I let him play with what he wants. He is a child and needs to explore. Like the PP said, I want him to grow up to be an involved father and husband. I feel like my DH is being a good role model by doing dishes, cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, etc.. I don't want DS to grow up thinking that cooking, cleaning and taking care of children is "women's work".

[TaChapm]

Jackson loves babies (toy and real). He has 2 of my old Cabbage Patch babies and another one I bought him for his first birthday. He loves to push them in Tyler's stroller. DH wouldn't agree to getting him a toy stroller so we got a shopping cart for him to push his babies in. He also has a play kitchen and table and chairs. These are some of his favorite toys. DH really hates this but it is teaching him to be a compasionate loving child. It really is cute. I would say if your son is showing and interest in "girl toys" then maybe you should start to get him a few things. It couldn't hurt.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson 11-10-02
Tyler William 6-9-05
OMG!!! Baby #3 Due September 5, 2006!

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[mommy_someday]

I was at Target a few weeks ago and noticed that they had an amazing kitchen/grocery aisle for kids. It was neutral and SO cute! They had a cash register, shopping cart, kitchenette thingy, pots & pans, play food, etc. I just thought it was darling and can't wait for my DS to be interested in it! I looked at Target's website and they have several kitchens under their preschool toys section. Some are girly, but there are a few that are gender neutral. Here's a link to the one I saw in the store and liked (but I think the one I saw was red): http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_4/601-8815688-2105717?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000CCXF7G

I wouldn't worry too much about what your DS plays with. If mine wants to walk around in my high heels and jewelry, play with dolls, pots and pans, I say more power to him! DH will likely argue with me about this, but I have a feeling he will cave in the end. ;)

Good luck!

[cmdunn1972]

I'd let your son play with whatever toys he wants. Think of what you would do if the situation was vice versa. If your child was a girl you wouldn't keep her away from trucks and legos, would you? Besides, with all the professional chefs out there who are men, I hardly think that kitchens are gender-specific. (If your DH balks at the idea of your DS playing with a kitchen set you can tell him that perhaps your son aspires to be the next Emeril. ;))