family table question.

[bcky2]

i was just wondering how many of us sit down each night to a meal with all kids(that are eating table foods) and our partner. we hardly ever sit at the table let alone all of us there. my kids actually think it is the coolest thing if we do sit at the table. they either eat at the table in the living room or else at the breakfast bar. my dh never eats with us because he is not home but even if he was during the week he still wont eat with us as he wants to watch tv. he has to work all day and doesnt get to watch alot of tv so he feels that it is his time to watch it. i could go on, believe me, but that would be for the bitching post }( as for weekends, we eat everywhere but the table.

so where do you eat and is it as a family or is there always a member missing?

[hez]

We eat together 5-6 times a week. Not all those nights are at home, but they're together at a table somewhere :) When we are at home it's at the breakfast nook table. We *don't* eat together when one of us has an activity-- Payton and DH go to soccer on Tuesdays and sometimes eat out together on their way home. Tonight I have a meeting at church where dinner will be served. Random, fairly legitimate reasons. Occasionally I eat dinner while I'm upstairs doing work, which doesn't feel all that good.

[asha]

Its just three of us, that might make it easier. For the past three-four months, we have had dinner at the table pretty much all the time. At least 95% of the times I think. If we have dinner at home, we will sit at the table and eat together. That is the only way I can get DS to eat by himself. If not, I will have to feed him everytime.

Somedays when one of us is coming home late, the other person will feed DS at the table. Then we (parents) eat together, mostly in front of the TV. Initially DH resisted (same old reason: TV), but now we both have realized that we get to talk to each other, so he is OK with the plan.

Most of the weekdays, we dont even turn on the TV anymore. Well, I watch a little bit after DH takes DS for his bedtime routine. I will be checking my emails and getting some work done before I go to bed.
DH does not care so much about the TV anymore. This is an amazing achievement for DH. If anything, he tries to catch up with the Olympics now and then, but nothing else really.

[slknight]

We always eat together for dinner at the table. Occasionally one of us isn't home (yoga class or something), but the people who are home eat together. We never eat in separate places if we're all in the house. Since I work from home and DH is a SAHD, we also generally eat lunch together at the table. Breakfast is a bit more random.

[schums]

Every night, all four of us, unless there is some random, pre-planned event taking one of us away. We eat in the breakfast nook -- our dining room has become the office. It's the way both DH and I were raised, and we feel it's an important time to connect with each other and the kids, although they can't talk about their day too much yet.

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[bcky2]

could your dh please talk to my dh ;) on weekends he will actually sit in front of the tv instead of playing with the boys and if they ask him to do something he tells them no, that this is his time to catch up on tv. why not catch up with your boys! believe me when i say that i could go on forever about the tv issues }(

[new_mommy25]

We eat all meals at the table. It's usually just DS and me for breakfast and lunch, but Dh is almost always home for dinner.

[aa2mama]

We only eat together on weekend evenings. I'm the one who is missing...at work every evening...and I'm not sure where DH & DS eat supper to tell you the truth. I'm sad to be missing family dinners, but it's how I am able to be at home with DS during the day (and maintain my sanity).

[nfowife]

We eat all meals at the table. For breakfast and lunch, it's DD and I. DH usually feeds DD her dinner at around 4:30, just the two of them while I get some "me" time. She goes to bed by 6. Then DH and I eat dinner together at the table. On the weekends DH joins us for breakfast and lunch.

[elliput]

We almost always eat dinner together, however we only use the dining table when we have guests. We have a small table at eating height that we pull up to the sofa so we can watch TV during dinner. DD sits in her high chair. This arrangement really isn't my favorite, and I would like to get us to eating at the dining room table regularly. DH's family doesn't sit around the table for meals, while mine does. Getting to eat with the TV on (other than the news) was a treat for me, while for DH it was the norm.

[s_gosney]

"believe me when i say that i could go on forever about the tv issues"

You and me both! Drives me nuts!!!

[kijip]

We eat at a table 7 nights a week. And 7 mornings a week. And 7 noons per week while I am home. If we are not at our table, we are at a friend or relative's table or at a restaurant table. Rarely, on driving trips we might eat in the car.

No phone, no computer, no TV, NOTHING. Meals in my house belong on the table, period. No interruptions allowed. Even if I don't feel like eating, I try and sit with Toby while he eats. He also sits at a table when he snacks. The only time anyone eats in front of the TV it is a bag of popcorn or snack for a movie (not often).

[kijip]

>could your dh please talk to my dh ;) on weekends he will
>actually sit in front of the tv instead of playing with the
>boys and if they ask him to do something he tells them no,
>that this is his time to catch up on tv. why not catch up with
>your boys! believe me when i say that i could go on forever
>about the tv issues }(

Break the TV. Or sell it? I seriously can not believe that anyone would choose their programs over their kids. Your sons are going to remember that.

[MelissaTC]

We always eat dinner together. There are times when DH is tied up at work (rare) or has a business dinner (again, rare). We eat at our table or we eat out. But we are together. Sometimes on a Friday night or weekend, we may elect to do appetizers and watch a movie together. Again, we watch something like "The Incredibles" or "Toy Story" and we all cuddle up on the couch and get out the snack trays. DH never chooses the tv over DS. Unfortunately for me, he has taught DS about football and NASCAR so the two watch some of it together!!!!

[TaChapm]

Every Night...all 4 of us! Jackson, Tyler and I eat breakfast and lunch at the table and then DH joins us at supper. We will occasionally have the TV on but not often. It is usually our time to catch up.

I used to not eat breakfast and lunch but learned that Jackson eats much better when I eat with him so I at least try to eat some toast or have some yogart.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson 11-10-02
Tyler William 6-9-05
OMG!!! Baby #3 Due September 5, 2006!

http://b4.lilypie.com/gzWfm8.png

http://b1.lilypie.com/kLMem8.png

http://bd.lilypie.com/UEZ3m8.png

[mharling]

With rare exceptions, meals are at the table. Dh is with us unless he is working late. I was raised this way and it is extremely important to me.

Mary - Some days work. Some days don't.

[chiqanita]

We eat our meals at the kitchen table. We do have music playing in the background and sometimes the tv is on. Then DH takes DSx2 into playroom while I clean up. :7

[linsei]

We eat at the kitchen table for every meal at home. If we are out somewhere, whether at a restaurant or visiting at my parents, we also eat at a table. When visiting DH's parents, we have to eat in their family room on the couch with tv trays, and the tv blaring. I wouldn't be able to stand all of the crumbs and junk in the couch.

Linda

http://b2.lilypie.com/xz6em5/.png[/img][/url]

[DebbieJ]

Dinner is always the three of us at the table unless someone is working late or at a meeting. We usually have music on.

Breakfast and lunch are usually much more random. DS takes FOREVER to eat breakfast so he sits by himself with the tv on (by that time the boy I babysit in the morning before school has come over and turned on the tv). DH and I will eat breakfast with him or we will sit at the island a few feet away.

Lunch is usually DS by himself again. I sometimes sit with him. Usually I'm at the island checking email or doing some other chore while ds is strapped in and contained. :)

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[ellies mom]

If I cook, we sit together at the table. If DH fends for himself, he can sit in front of the TV. Ususally DD and I eat together.

[muskiesusan]

All meals, and most snacks for that matter, at eaten at the table. We do not have any noise other than what the children are generating, lol. If DH isn't travelling, he usually joins us for all three meals as he works out of the house. Most of the time, however, it's just the boys and myself!


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[thomma]

Every night all 4 of us eat supper at the table together. On the weekend it's a bit more random as to who's eating bfast and lunch with the kiddos...we trade off so stuff can get done around the house, errands, etc.

Kim
t&e 5/03

[JBaxter]

At dinner time we eat at the kitchen table sometimes its just Nathan and I mostly its all 5 of us but we always eat dinner there.

[holliam]

It's just the three of us, but we actually eat all three meals together at the table. DH is a SAHD and I'm a telecommuter so we're fortunate to be able to do this.

TV is never on when Mari is awake. We are actually taking the TV out of the family room after the Olympics end and putting an aquarium in its place! :) We limit computer time (except for my job) when she is awake.

We often have music playing during meals, usually the classical station.

Holli

[Bethann31]

Our family of 6 sits down to dinner together nearly every night, even if it means we eat at odd times (really early or really late). It's something that is really important to me. However, when my older children are at their father's house, the 3 of us eat in the living room sometimes.


Beth
mom to:

Josh 3/90
Mollie 4/92
Jeffrey 12/94
Katherine 6/03


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/lamlamsvi20030604_4_Katherine+Grace+is.png

[BeachBaby]

My husband is a SAHD and he eats breakfast and lunch at the table with Simone. I think he didn't used to always eat with her but, like PPs, he has found that she will eat better if he is eating, too. I'm always home for dinner (he cooks; I clean up) and the three of us eat at the table. On the weekends, we all three eat B/L/D at the table together, unless we're out somewhere.

My only problem with this arrangement is that we have an open floor plan and we usually turn the TV around and watch the news while we eat. I would like to stop doing this and maybe turn on some quiet music, but I don't expect any resistance from DH. It's just a matter of doing it.

[lizamann]

We all eat together for dinner, which is usually at 7pm or later since dh gets home pretty late. There are only the 3 of us, though. DH usually puts on a record while we eat. Occasionally we will order takeout and eat in front of the tv, but that is happening much less often lately - like once in the last 6 months.

[crl]

Meals and snacks at the table, no TV. Music is okay and often on for lunch. But, DH often works late so it is frequently just DS and me. I do sit and eat with DS, but if he gets up to play and I am done I get up too. Then he often comes back to finish up alone. (I insist on him sitting to eat but he can come and go as long as he is in his chair anytime he has food in his hand or mouth.)

[TraciG]

The last couple of months we've been eating dinner together since DH is getting home earlier . Only problem is I always feel rushed & there is always a BIG mess since I don't watch Sydney as much since I'm also eating !!!!!!

[ctmom]

we have all meals, and a lot of snacks, at the table. Our newest dining problem is dd#1 eats fast and wants to get down from the table, but if she does dd#2, who is still eating, wants to get down. We have to keep reminding dd#1 that just because she is finished eating, she needs to stay at the table until everyone else is...It never ends!

Mary
dd#1 2/01
dd#2 12/03

[alexsmommy]

Breakfast - only on Sunday. Lunch is whereever. Dinner 3-4x week all four of us (DH, DS, stepdaughter and me) because I work late three nights a week and DH can't boil water.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03

[8isenough]

It is extremely important to us. Problems can fester and one can get disconnected quickly, when there isn't any time to communicate with each other. Dinner time is our sacred time. And with that said, my 5 minutes on the board is up....I better go finish cooking! :)


Sterling

[bcky2]

i wish that i could. if i got rid of all the tv's then my dh would take whatever money we had and buy a new one asap. even if it was our food or bill money. he would probably leave me in the process also ;)

[kalebsmama]

We eat dinner together at the table every night except for the 2x/month that DH works late and the one meeting/month that I have that usually includes dinner. DH or I will still eat with the kids at the table even when the other isn't home. Or, if we are away from home, we are still at some table together.

DH and I both had this growing up and it's extremely important for us to do this. I was actually at a meeting last week where a child psychologist spoke and he said the #1 most important time to communicate with your children and learn what is going on with them etc. is during dinner. Together. No TV!! Lucky for me, DH doesn't watch TV so I don't have to deal with that anyways.

[ribbit1019]

I can relate!!
We never eat dinner at the dinner table, DH and I usually eat in front of the T.V. after DD has gone to bed.

DD will not sit in her high chair and eat at all. I've given up on this for the time being and plan on starting to work on her once I am home. It really bothers me that she won't eat sitting down.

Have lots of bad MIL instilled habits to break while I am home, *sigh*.

Christy
Maddy born 6/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png

Little Man due 3/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/fdihm5/.png
Co-Owner Ribbit Baby

Frogs are lucky, they eat what bugs them.

[KrisM]

We nearly always eat together at the table for dinner. In the summer, DH plays in a tennis league once a week and is home pretty late, so that will be an exception. And, once a month, I go to scrapbooking that includes dinner. But, I sit at the table while they eat before I leave.

I know that as the kid(s) are older there will be more activities and it will be harder to all eat together. I am hoping we can do it most nights though.

[kijip]

That is really sad Becky since you and your kids seem to like to eat at the table. I wonder how your kids are going to feel about that as they get older. You said that your boys love to eat at the table. I would follow their lead and do so with them every night even if your DH does not join you. Kids like routines and family time. There are precious few years where they will love to talk to and share meals with you and your DH, relish them while you can. Eating dinner does not take all that long - 30 minutes maybe. And you get such a huge oppeurtunity to listen to your kids and share your values with them. An older friend of mine says that dinner time is when she finds out what is going on in her 11 year old's life and that if they don't eat dinner together, she might completely miss out if something is bothering him or if he needs help with school work etc. And when your DH sees the fun he is missing, maybe he will take the hint and join in on his own :). If not I very much recommend the "dinner's at the table and if you don't eat here with your kid's you can make a sandwich" version of tough love }(. But I am a mean son of a gun about these things!

[bcky2]

oh katie, i really hope that you never meet my dh as im sure you would want to kill him within 30 seconds. me and my boy will continue to eat at the table, as they do love it so much and it is easier. as for dh he usually doesnt get home untill after the boys are in bed so he is really only home for dinner time 2-3 times a week and 2 of thoes days are sat and sunday. as for the if you dont eat at the table you dont get the food, well dh doesnt like anything i cook so he would be in heaven with that idea. the only things that he will eat if i cook it is hamburgers, fahitas, tacos, ketchup chicken, lemon pepper chicken, sloppy joes, and pizza. and even only when he is in the mood for them. i can almost hear the things that you would say to him :) as for the tv i have been trying to keep it off during the day alot of the time as my boys love music. it may not be classical but it ranges from childrens music to some light rock to oldies, my older ds is getting good at singing some bon jovi songs ;) but when dh is home there is not a chance at having it turned off :( he actually yelled at ds yesterday for turning it off while he was out of the room!

[redhookmom]

My dh works in the evening and the kids eat well before I would want to eat so we do not sit together for dinner.

But, we all sit down and have a big hot breakfast every morning.:-)