Post Weaning Blues? How long would this last?

[kozachka]

I think I might have a mild (or not) case of depression, possibly caused by weaning DS. Anybody else experienced this? If so, how long did it take for you to get back to normal?

I am very irritable/moody. I've cried several times a day for the last few days. On Friday when DS would not go down for his nap (he recently figured out how to get out of his crib and was super-excited after spending a few hours in daycare while I was working) I yelled at him and was even rough with him when getting him back into the crib ;(. The struggle went on for two hours and there was a moment when I felt like jumping out from the second floor balcony or throwing DS out. It was not something I would have seriously done, more like "wouldn't it be nice not to have to deal with DS tantrums".

I also have bad headaches, dark circles under my eyes and get tired pretty easily. On Friday night I had strange blood pressure 95/70. The doctor who was seeing my DH measured it and checked my kidneys. I might be passing sand from the right kidney but can't be sure without further tests. He also told me to start taking vitamins again and eat lots of apples. I might be close to getting iron-deficiency anemia.

At the same time DH thinks that I am behaving crazy, nagging him too much (not that he does not deserve it) and should just get a grip on myself. I've asked him to help more with DS but he has been only partially doing it. It seems to me he thinks I am using hormones as an execuse to unload my share of responsibilities on him. We hired a babysitter and went out yesterday for a big part of the day and it was great. This morning we had a fight (over DH not doing enough around the house) and DH just stormed out and had been gone for a few hours now. I don't expect to see him before tonight if than. So here I am stuck caring for DS all by myself again as if I don't do enough of it during the week. This depression better end soon or I'll end up getting divorced although this might happen anyway with the way DH is treating me (as a maid).

[lynettefrancois]

Sounds like more than just post-weaning blues to me... I was a little sad for a few times after weaning, but that was mild and sporadically over a week. I don't know what is normal or not for your hormones during weaning- maybe you should ask an LC? I would think about seeing a counselor about the other issues- I feel the same way lately (about being a maid) and my sister suggested I see one. My husband can only watch DD for about 3 hours, 4 tops by himself occasionally, without freaking out. ;) I hope you feel better soon! and HTH some.

[jacksmomtobe]

Well I can't give any insight to the weaning connection as I'm not there yet. I'm sure it is probably a bit of everything. There is some sadness due to the weaning and you are not getting much support from your husband. It's hard to shoulder all the child responsibility and taking care of the house especially as it sounds in your case where you are not being appreciated. It's very frustrating to be taken for granted. Sometimes I don't think most men get how hard it is. They just love to see hormones as the easy answer then downplay the impact. I would definitely check into the possible medical issues because they may be playing into the things and if not you can rule out that as a factor. Hopefully DH will wake up and realize all that you have on your plate and make things a bit easier for you.

Hope everything gets better soon!

[aliceinwonderland]

It also sounds to me that weaning has little if anything to do with the way you';re feeling. I was a *little* sad after weaning DS, but only because I was "forced" to wean before I thought I was ready (work travel issues), and I just did not like that choice taken away from me, but I did not get depressed or anything, just a little sad...And it passed very soon.

[MarisaSF]

Hi Elena-
Your post really made me sad for you. I sent you an e-mail and just wanted to send a heads up to you about it.
I think post-weaning blues is natural. Not just the hormones (I assume there will be some shift even after 2 years), but the lessening of physical and emotional closeness and also the feeling that your baby is growing out of the baby phase can be very trying and sad. I desperately wanted to wean, but now that I have, I miss some aspects of it. It's a bittersweet change for sure.
I hope you and DH and DS are all okay. Know that lots of people are thinking about you.
-Marisa

[C99]

I really didn't have any depression about weaning Nate - it was kind of bittersweet, but not what I would call depression. But I was also pregnant when he weaned, so I had a different set of hormones pulsing through me. What you are describing sounds like regular depression to me and while the vitamins might help your overall health and outlook, it sounds like you need real help -- therapy, anti-depressants, or just getting out of your situation.

{{ HUGS }}