Two big changes in the course of three weeks and a 2 yo?

[jawilli4]

My son will have just turned two in August and so DH and I were thinking of enrolling him in Toddler school for socialization and fun. However, I'm pg with DC #2 and due in late September, which in the best case scenario means that he will only have three weeks to acclimate to a huge change before another one comes along. We are really conflicted as to what to do. DS is awesome and already knows some ABCs, 123s, and colors so in no way do we think we should send him for an education, especially at this early in his life. However, he is really shy and it takes about 10 minutes of me holding him in any situation (playgroup, etc) before he feels comfortable to get down and play or explore. He has been coddled so the only babysitter he has ever known is my mom. We think that it would be good send him for the socialization and fun aspect of it. Also, it might be good to have some consistency in his life in the form of school. And, with a new baby I am sure he will get the best stimulation at school. I could send him one day or two. However, we are really concerned about how traumatic two big changes in one month will be to him. I love him with all of my heart and I don't want to do anything that will scar him. Oh, and the only school that I like and we can afford has teachers with no formal education, although they have been at the school for at least ten years and people love the school around here. Should I be concerned about this, as it doesn't really sit that well with me? Okay, thanks for reading this book. I really appreciate any tips or suggestions anyone has.
TIA,
Jan

[Roleysmom]

Jan, my first thought is to see if the school has a toddler summer program and then that would make an easier transition to the school year program.

I'm not sure what you mean by the teachers having no formal education. Do you mean they have college or master's degrees but are not certified? The teachers here on the board can give you a better perspective on that. Personally I've never been concerned with certification. If they don't have college degrees, I would view that a little differently and think of the program more as a day care and less as an educational experience. But, I do think that you can get a very good sense of the program by visting it and sitting in on the classrooms. If you like it, and it sounds like you do, than it's probably a good fit.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck in your decision making.

Paula
Mom to Roley Julia, January '02

[wendmatt]

DD is really shy and has never been left either. She is starting preschool in August when she is 3 (4 in Nov). I thought about it before but for us it was just too soon. Now she points at the school and says there's the school I'm going to! I think she'll be ready then but at 2 she was def not ready. I'm not saying you should not send your DS but just thought I'd give you my perspective. I do like pps idea about a summer programme to get him more ready. Good luck with your decision.

[mamicka]

Unless there are other reasons you'd like him to attend, I wouldn't be worried about his socialization at age 2. Being really shy & needing to feel secure is totally normal at that age & so many kids grow out of it in the next year. I would be concerned about the starting school & getting a new baby events being so close together, & maybe him linking them... as in, I have to go away a couple days a week bacause now we have a new baby. I would try to start it either a few months before or after the baby comes.

Allison

[jawilli4]

Hi Paula,
Thanks for your reply. It's a good idea to look for a toddler summer program, especially in the school. I will definitely do that. The teachers in the toddler classrooms have no college degree. Evidentally they were moms of former students who liked the school so much they chose to teach there. I am sure that the school provides a pretty detailed curiculum for the teachers, but I still don't feel very happy about this. We currently live in Delaware and having non-degreed toddler teachers is very common here. Typically the degreed teachers go to the most expensive schools, which I understand but just can't afford.
Thanks again,
Jan

[jawilli4]

Thanks everyone for your replies. You all have very good points. It sounds like the safest bet will be waiting until next year. I think I might look for a summer program just for a change and to see how he does, but I guess that might be it for now. Also, we just discovered our local zoo has programs during the school year so maybe I can take him (and his sibling in a sling) to a couple of those next year. We also do library programs and will continue to do so. I still very much worry about neglecting his need for stimulation and variation, but I guess I will do my best and hope that is okay.
Thanks again,
Jan

[jawilli4]

Hi again,
I just got off the phone with my friend and told her I wasn't going to enroll DS in Toddler school next year. We were going to enroll our kids for the same days so that they would know someone there. I felt horrible telling her, as it affects her DS too. She said she spoke to someone who was in a similar situation that ended up sending her DC to school and was absolutely happy with her decision. So, I hate to rehash this, but has anyone been there done that? Do you think I made the right decision? Should I reconsider my choice? I really need to make up my mind but this seems like a huge decision.
Thanks again,
Jan

[kedss]

You need to make the best decision you can with the information you have and what feels right for you and DS, whether it affects your friend's son negatively or not. It is a tough decision, you need to trust yourself to make the right decision for you. Maybe write down the pros and cons on a piece of paper and really see it in black and white. If the cons outweigh the pros, just wait until he and you are ready.

big hugs,mama

[tsem]

We signed up our 23 month old son in a YMCA mom's morning out type program (lots of art, play and fun). Before this he only had the occasional babysitter and was in a playgroup. His baby brother was born a month later. I thought the consistency of the MMO program two times a week was perfect for him. He got attention for being the big brother in "school". It didn't seem too tramatic or too much of an adjustment at all, if fact I think it helped him adjust. My little boy is now in kindergarten and him and his brother are really good friends. Don't forget the time away is also for YOU and having a break will not be a bad thing. Good Luck in your decision!!
Traci

[calebsmama03]

I have no experience - I *wish* I'd enrolled DS in a preschool program last summer shortly after DD was born! Is it possible to enroll and if it goes badly, remove him from the program, or do they require some kind of prepayment for the school year?
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
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And Miss Purple, 5/05

[brittone2]

I agree with the PPs that it is very normal to still be slow to warm up and a little tenatiave to leave mom and dad at 2. My DS is very much like this, but in the past 2-3 months (he just turned 2) I already see him becoming more outgoing under the right circumstances (but also more clingy in other situations LOL).

I personally don't think you need to worry about socialization with a 2 year old at all. You could definitely hold off, but if it is something YOU need or think would be good, then I don't think any harm would come from it either. I just don't believe you can push a child much past where they are naturally when it comes to socialization...they'll get there when they are ready.

But obviously, he may totally enjoy school and it may be good for all of you.

[Eloise36]

Maybe you could send your DS to a summer school program and see if he likes it? He may surprise you. I first sent DS to a Moms Morning Out Program (2 1/2 hours twice a week) when he was 15 months, and he adjusted better than I thought he would. He cried for 10 minutes the first couple of times I left him but hasn't for a long time. He's now 2 1/2 and in his second year of the Moms Morning Out program. He actually enjoys going to "school" and I know he will be ready for preschool this fall.