Any Moms out there with kids only 18 months apart?

[JAMEPM]

My husband and I have a 10 month old son, and we just found out I am pregnant with #2. We were planning on waiting another year before trying again. Needless to say, we're a little overwhelmed! I was hoping to get some advice, encouragement, etc. from other Moms out there who have kids this close in age. While I think it will be great for them to be able to play together & for us to get the baby years "out of the way," I'm just so worried that I will miss precious times in my first-born's life. I love spending time with him SO much & I just can't imagine not being able to be with him when the new baby gets here...

TIA

[chlobo]

no advice, just congratulations.

[elliput]

Congratulations! No advice here either.

[farleygirl]

Not so much been there-done that advice as of now -- mine are 18 months apart but my little one just arrived 2 weeks ago. So far, it's been a little tough, but that's just the sleep deprivation kicking in.

My oldest has been a little more aggressive in the hitting department, which I'm very much trying to nip in the bud.

However, I'm happy they're so close in age, and I know they'll be best buds when they're older. My thinking is there are challenges and rewards that come with every age gap, and I don't think one is more ideal than the other.

And as far as missing out on time alone with my oldest, I do miss it, but I figure he was the only one to have that special one-on-one time. None of his other siblings will ever have that, so I'm not depriving him in any way. And, knowing how short their memory is, I figure in a few monhts he'll forget he was an only child at one point!

Congrats, and good luck1!

[cmo]

I have a 3 1/2 year old girl, and a 2 year old boy (and a 2 month old too!). I will say the first 5-6 months of having 2 were tough. Out of necessity, my second baby got a lot more 'necessity' treatment, where the first one got more one-on-one time with nursing, playing, and the like. The baby stuff was easy the second time around; it was the actual management of 2 that wore me out! When my second child was 1 or so, however, they started playing together more and more, and now they are best buddies who entertain each other every day (which has really helped with #3, BTW).

It's a journey; prepare for bumps but enjoy it nonetheless!

-Chris

[BaileyBea]

Congratulations! A couple of months ago I asked the same question. My kiddos will be 18 months apart too.

I learned from the responses that there maybe some jealousy and us Mommies will be extremely tired at times. Some Mommies had a good idea to find time to spend w/the older child and make it a point to not ignore them. These kiddos will be very close as they get older and will be playmates. They will be bestfriends and they are a great gift to one another. It's probably important to find some alone and quality time to spend w/each child.

Since I have found out I was pregnant again (which was a bit of a surprise too). I spend more quality time w/DS learning specific skills or things. He's 13 months now and we have begun talking to him about his baby Sister that's coming. And he is suddenly into a doll that we call Baby Joseph. So he's slowly getting used to the idea of another baby.

We freaked out and made a huge list of things we need to do before baby #2 comes and we are trying to organize. One thing is for sure this pregnancy is more exhausting because I don't have time to think about me just DS. So when your son is napping you should nap whenever possible. Try to go to bed early and ask for help when you need it.

The kiddos will be close and we are going to love that as they get older. Just think of how cute their photos are going to be when they are holding one another and hugging. It's a wonderful gift. Congratulations!

[buddyleebaby]

Congratulations!
I have no advice but I know what you're going through. My dd will be 15 months old when this new babe is due. I am so excited but the idea took a while to get used to!
I tell myself that it will be hard at first, but in the long run my kids will have be able to grow up together and hopefully be the very best of friends.
I think it is normal to sort of grieve for the end of your time with one child on his/her own, no matter how far apart your kids are. i have certainly seen a lot of mamas go through it on this board.
Hugs to you!

[momofmany]

My youngest two DD are 20 months apart. (I have four children overall - they are 37 mo., 44, and 20 months apart). I have loved the closeness of the younger girls. They have a very close relationship and friendship which I think is largely fostered by the closeness in age. They are very inseperable. They are now 5.5 and 3.5 years old. It was very intense for the first 1 - 1/2 years - but I very doable, I thought. It seemed like the baby more or less worked around the 2 year old. What was hard was to do thinks like grocery shop with two little ones - I had to really need to shop to take them both out. That said, it is really a breeze now and I don't really remember the struggles of those early years. You will survive and you will treasure your children (and you will love them all more than you can imagine).

Good luck

Becky
Mom to 4 great kids!

[annasmom]

First off, Congratulations!!

My dc are 15 months apart, and my no.2 and no.3 will be 21 months apart. Honestly, I did not find it very difficult. But my ds was a very easy baby. Also at that age my dd was so little that when I brought my ds home, she just completely accepted it. No jealousy whatsoever. That is not to say that there have never been shoving matches over my lap, but really few and far between. Only recently now that my ds is really running around do I find that things are getting difficult. It is really hard to keep up with the both of them at the playground for example, and they both really still need my direct supervision. That being said, they are also getting REALLY cute with eachother. They crack eachother up. They will chase each other around the house and tackle each other. They have great built in playmates!

I don't mean to sugar coat everything because things could be tough. I was blessed with a terrific sleeper with my ds. I must admit, that I am getting pretty nervous about no.3 who will be born two weeks after my dd's 3rd birthday! Best of luck to you. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and a VERY good sleeper for no. 2!!

[jerseygirl07067]

Congratulations to you!! Mine are 16 months apart, but still fairly young, but I can tell you what's helped me so far :) :

Numero uno is great spousal support and assistance. This has made my life so much easier. Usually DH does Sammy's bedtime routine with her and I do Julia's, and when he comes home he plays with Sammy so both kids can get some individualized attention. The nights DH has softball or are out of town are so much harder for me.

Don't beat yourself up over not giving one of them attention. This is going to happen, and I have beaten myself up over it many times. Just enjoy the ride, and try not to feel guilty. A friend of mine who has three kids said the best advice she got was to give the attention to the one who will be more affected by NOT getting that particular need met at that time. So sometimes it will be the baby, but many more times it will be your toddler. And your baby will be absolutely okay for it.

If you can, try to get their naps in synch so you have at least one time of day where they're both sleeping, even if it's just 45 minutes. I was lucky and that time was in the mid afternoon, for 1-2 hours. I sometimes purposely let Julia go a bit longer without a nap, just to get her to crash at the same time as Sammy. That quiet time was so energizing for me to have.

You can get a little doll or stuffed animal for your toddler to take care of. It didn't work great for us, since Sammy has not taken to any type of doll, but I've heard it works for others.

And remember, newborns often sleep so much during the day in the beginning that you may have more time with your toddler than you think, at least initially.

I also try to include Sammy in Julia's care. It is getting easier now that she can follow simple instructions too and be a little helper.

The biggest challenge I did have was nursing the baby and keeping a watchful eye out for Sammy. When Julia hit 4 months this was even more difficult as Julia would pop off and look around at the slightest noise. So I got special activities/books/toys to try and keep Sammy engrossed, or I would feed Julia before Sammy woke up, while Sammy napped, after she went to bed, etc for some of the feedings. And yes, I am now guilty of using the TV to occupy Sammy while I nurse Julia. I am totally not a big fan of TV, but use it really just for this purpose.

Good luck, and hopefully you will get other suggestions too! It will be fine, and the same way you may have wondered what you did with all of your time before kids, you'll wonder what you did when you only had ONE, LOL!!

Marcy