Need help with my screamer.....

[FirstOneInMarch]

I have a 13-month old DD, who has been on a screaming kick for quite some time. She did it constantly several months ago, along with 3 other children in day care – much to my day care provider’s liking! I didn’t do much about it then because what does a 9 month old know about the difference in babbling vs. screaming? But now, it has redeveloped and she’ll go around the house screaming at the top of her lungs. We’ve tried “no�, a light tap on the mouth, trying to get her to make other noises – everything it seems. She also does it out of defiance now. We’ll tell her we don’t do that, no, etc. She looks at me with a defiant look and screams right in my face. Does anyone have this problem?? Is this a phase kids go through???I’m in need of some advice to stop this before she takes over!!

TIA!

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

I could have written your post a few months ago. It gets MUCH better.... Avi used to scream all the time, when he did not get what he wanted, when he got frustrated etc. It has gotten alot better since he began to speak. Now he screams vary rarely and it is more to get attention, or if he is really upset about something. I do not think there was something that we did that really stopped the screaming, it was a gradual process.

Ilana

http://lilypie.com/pic/060403/hfNw.jpg[/img]http://b2.lilypie.com/h2bbm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bcky2]

my younger ds does this and i believe most of the time it is just to p*ss me off. he knows that i cant stand it. but some of it also comes from their frustration over the lack of being able to communicate. i have tried everything but nothing seems to help. i even put him in the naughty spot to see if that would stop him from doing it but it didnt. yes we use the naughty spot idea off of spuer nanny or nanny 911 whichever one uses that :)

soooooooo, if you find something that works to stop it PLEASE let me know as i am going nuts over it too.

[randomkid]

I think it's a phase from talking to other moms, and we are going through it right now as well. I'm right there with ya! Every tiny, little thing will make her scream. Often, she will lay down on the floor and just scream. I just walk away so I don't reinforce it. I think the worst thing to do is to give any kind of attention to it because even negative reinforcement will cause it to continue. I have found that when I walk away from her, she will go on for a little bit, then get up and walk around whining, then it stops. I give her attention when it stops. When my Dad is around, he hates to see her upset and he tries to do something about it. That just seems to make her worse.

I think this has to do with the fact that they now realize that they know what they want, but they can't exert any control over the situation. They can't communicate and they can't overpower you, so they get frustrated. Plus, you must remember that at this age, the world revolves around your DD. She doesn't know what is dangerous, what is hurtful to others, etc. All she know is what she wants and she will let you know it! My DD is 15 months, so I'm hoping this will start to subside in the next few months. I even taught her sign language which she will use, but it still doesn't stop the screaming. She doesn't use it when she is really mad or upset. Although yesterday she wanted to go back outside and was walking toward the door, screaming and signing "more"! - LOL!

[SheriRae]

My dd went through this at about the same age as your DD. She is now 18mths old and is over it. To be honest I'm not sure what I did helped or she just went through the phase, but when she screamed, I whispered. I would whisper something like "we don't need to scream, we can hear you even if you whisper." And I would keep whispering as long as she screamed. It's funny because now because if she thinks I'm being to loud she'll whisper "momma, shhhhh."

[mamato1]

OK my DS was older when I went through this, but here is what I did. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I ignored it or said "I can't hear you when you scream," and then went about my business. The second he stopped screaming andwas more appropriate I gave him my undivided attention and tried to give ehat he wanted, within reason of course. And I swear it worked like a charm.

Again your DD may be too young for that but I thought I would throw the idea out there anyway.
Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/04


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[ribbit1019]

We did this too Chris! I think I might have given in a little too much though, I would have given her anything to stop, well expect for something that put her in danger. We did the ignoring thing too, though that was more when it was accompanied by a tantrum.

It does pass, but there are times that she still does it. I really hate it when she wakes up the baby. Such is life with a Toddler though, I swear he is going to be able to sleep through anything shortly!

Christy
My Waterbabies
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[FirstOneInMarch]

Thank you all for your support. I'm glad to know it isn't just my little one! As strong-willed as she is, it has given me confidence to get through this stage.

Thanks so much!!

Cindy

[jawilli4]

Hi,
This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but in dire cases (ie. the car) the only thing that got DS to stop screaming is if I screamed with him. We would scream for no more than two minutes, then it seemed to get out of his system and he would stop.
Hoping you won't have to use my crazy technique,
Jan