UPDATE*** miscarriage... question about a D & C

[wolverine2]

I just got back from another ultrasound because yesterday afternoon I started losing a lot of blood and tissue. I was at work, and I wanted to be home so badly that I just got in the car and drove home... a truly awful car ride. I was hoping that it was all over, but the ultrasound revealed that there is still pregnancy tissue there, so I'm going to go ahead with the D & C this afternoon. I don't want days more of what I went through yesterday.
Thanks everyone for your support and thoughts,
Carrie
________________________________
Hi,
I don't post a lot, but needed some wisdom from those who have BTDT or have thoughts to share. I went to the hospital for an ultrasound today after I started bleeding yesterday (at 10 weeks pg). There was no heartbeat, and the fetus had stopped developing at 7 1/2 weeks. We're sad. Coming home to our 18 month old DS made it much more bearable.

My OB offered me 2 choices... to let the miscarriage happen naturally, or to have a D & C. I'm really ambivalent about what to do, and don't feel like I fully understand the options. I have been bleeding a little heavier today, but still no cramps. It seems like the D & C might allow for it all to be over with sooner, which would be a relief just to be able to grieve and move on, as well as for my body to return to normal. Also because I work, and don't want to be going through it all at work. But it also seems good to let my body do what it's going to do. We have a D & C scheduled for Tuesday, but can cancel it if we change our minds.
Any thoughts?

Thanks,
Carrie

[Wife_and_mommy]

I have no experience with mc but wanted to send my sympathies. I hope your recovery goes well.



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[JBaxter]

Hugs to you. I have had 2 miscarriages. The first I was 15 weeks but the baby had stopped growing at about 10 weeks. I ended up having an emergency D&C ( I was 22 ). My second m/c was in June of last year. For me I needed closure and it scared me to think I may have to leave my then 19 month old in the middle of the night to go to the ER. I felt more secure that I could have my mom come be with my youngest ( and middle son who had his tonsils out the day before) and DH could go with me and sit with me until I came home ( I was home in less than 3 hrs). I know my body and for me I knew it would be a wait and emotionally I couldnt handle that. That was my decision and if I would ever be in another m/c situation I would not do anything different. Again Hugs to you

[deenass]

No personal experience, but 3 of my good friends MC, one opted for the D & C, one decided to wait then had a D & C b/c she was having a lot of cramping and bleeding and one chose to wait it out. The one who chose to wait it out needed to spend several days with limited activity after she started bleeding and cramping (her dr didn't tell her this until AFTER she was bleeding and cramping).

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Tondi G]

I had almost the exact same experience!!!! I went in at 12 weeks and found no HB and baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. I went ahead with the D&C and I have to say I was/am VERY happy with my choice! I had a 2nd MC and again had a D&C. The proceedure is very quick. I was put under for it... woke up and went home within about 20 minutes from waking. I had mild cramps (nothing some motrin couldn't help) and the bleeding was not much more than a normal period. It really helped to know that things were over and done and we had closure and were moving forward. The second time around we scheduled the D&C for 2 days later... no waiting cause I knew that was what I wanted. I know someone who opted to wait for a natural MC in a situation like this and ended up hospitalized and lost a LOT of blood. It took her months to feel back to normal. I'm not saying that would happen to you but the chance is there. If I had another MC I would opt for the D&C again.

Hope this helps you. It was scary for me the first time around but my OB had also been through it and she said when she was in my shoes she opted for the D&C.

HUGS headed your way..... I am so sorry for your loss!

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05
and my 2 lil ~i~

[almostamom]

I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you, but I did want to send my most sincere sympathies on your loss. I'm so very sorry. Wishing you peace and healing.

Hugs,
~Linda~
DS 11/9/04

[bostonsmama]

I've done both. Most recently (March 2005), when my levels plateaued and we couldn't find a heartbeat at 6-7ish weeks, we decided to do a D & C. Turns out there was no fetal tissue when it went to pathology and we discovered I had an extra-uterine pregnancy...after the D & C my hcg levels continued to rise. It was at that point that I decided to take a drug that would let my body take care of it. It was so much easier than another surgery, despite the lengthy spotting & cramping. I just had a bad experience w/ the D & C...way too much anesthesia! I was in a fog for a day or two. I hated that feeling. But you shouldn't have that problem, and it really will help you most past the physical reminder (if a woman can ever do that). I don't know. I've seen it go both ways. I've seen women need back to back D & C's, and I've seen women need a D & C anyways b/c the body didn't do its job. So, you run the risk of needing one anyways.

I'm sorry for your loss. I can empathize with your pain.

Larissa

We're doing it! IVF orientation & consult scheduled for May 2nd!
Saline Sonogram--May 5th

Proud Aunt to Jack Dorian, born to my brother and SIL on 3/06
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[bubbaray]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

I went through this horrible experience called m/c in January of this year. I was 8w, when for my u/s and there was no heartbeat. That was on a Wednesday. By Friday, I started bleeding. I saw my OB that day and he said if I could handle it, to try to let it happen naturally over the weekend. Friday night was no picnic, but I got by with a Tylenol/Motrin cocktail. I saw him again on the following Monday, Wednesday & Friday. He did another u/s on Monday and told me I was definitely over the worst of it.

It was over enough for me to go back to work on Monday (like a heavy period by then, over the weekend I was basically in bed with extremely heavy bleeding & clotting, about the size of lemons & golf balls -- I wasn't prepared for that part of it). I think it was over by Thursday if I recall. The bleeding had definitely stopped by Friday, which was confirmed by another u/s.

For me (and this is just me), a natural m/c was my best option medically. I could have opted for a D&C, but there were increased risks for me, so I'm happy I was able to avoid one. I could also have tried a chemical approach, but again, for me, the risks were too great.

I have one friend who has had 11 m/c's and all but one of her's were natural. She had one D&C and while she didn't go into details, I don't think it was a good experience.

Hugs to you and good luck with whatever your decision.

Melissa

Maya Papaya!
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040411/3/4/1/-8/.png[/img][/url]

[hez]

Carrie, I'm PM'ing you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[dogmom]

I opted for a D&C, which I had to fight for. It was the best option for me, but I'm an ICU nurse and it was at my hosptial, so I felt very comfortable with being there. I was also able to dictate what drugs they gave me, so I have no memory of the actual procedure. I was able to schedule it when my son was in daycare, and I took my best friend and fellow nurse with me which was actually better than my DH. (He was there when I went to the hospital with a little bleeding at 11 weeks and found out there was no heartbeat. But for the D&C it was easier not to worry about him and just concentrate on me.)

I did try the natural method for two nights, bled heavily in the middle of the night, not during the day, so I got a very little sleep. Mostly I didn't want to go through several nights of this and still need a D&C. There ARE risks with the D&C (infection, uterine perferation, etc.) which are very real. If you are worried about the cramps, you can get your Dr to prescribe something for the pain to have. I think a D&C dose give a sense of some control in a situation you have no control over, but I think it depends on how out of control/stressed out the D&C procedure will make you. Can you ask your office exactly what will happen/where it will be? (Office, L&D suite, etc.) I did find that all the staff I ran into were very supportive and wonderful. I did ask for my post-procedure check to have it in my OB/GYN's Gynecology office, not OB office just so I didn't have to be surrounded by 20 pregnant women.

I don't know if I was any help, but I think waiting until Tuesday morning to decide would be OK.

[annasmom]

Carrie, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a very early m/c that was just like a normal period, no real pain to speak of. Again, that was very early, maybe 5 weeks. A D&C was not necessary at that point. I have no btdt experience with d&c, but I *think* if I were further along, I would opt for the the d&c. I wish you the best with your decision, and I am so truly very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.

[Sillygirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had almost the exact same situation. I opted for the D&C, because it had already been 2+ weeks since the fetus stopped developing, and I'd had no spotting.

I did bleed for almost a month thereafter, and eventually had to do a cycle of BCP to stop, plus a second "mini DC" in my OB's office with no anesthesia. So a D&C isn't the answer to everything. Still, even with that, I know I made the right choice for me.

[BeachBum]

I'm sorry!
My doctor suggested teh D&C because we were actively trying to get preggo. He said sometimes all the tissue doesn't come out on its own causing problems.
I was totally under, and although it was a sad experience it was over quickly and I didn't have to see it. I would have been emotionally overwhelmed having to really experience a natural m/c.

[SheriRae]

Hi Carrie,

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried December 2005. As painful as the experience was emotional I was very lucky in that I miscarried natural and quickly. I started spotting early in the morning, spotting turned to heavy bleeding and passing of tissue by the same evening. My OB felt I had passed all tissue so my decision was not to have a D&C. My bleeding after passing tissue turned light and slowly tampered after a couple days. This is my experience.

Wishing you peace and healing.

[smilequeen]

hugs

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 10 weeks. I did choose to go the D&C route, but that's a personal choice for sure. For me, I was having the pain of the miscarriage, the bleeding, and all of the emotional pain that went with it. The D&C allowed for the physical part to be over with so that I could concentrate on the emotional pain, which was so much worse for me. The D&C was an easy outpatient procedure and in my case, there was little to no post op pain.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this :(

[zuzu]

I am very sorry for your loss.

Something very similar happened to a close friend last week, and she opted for the D & C. The baby had not grown in nearly 4 weeks, and she didn't want to wait any longer for her body to act on its own. It's a very personal decision, and I hope you find peace.

Melissa, mom to Sarah (5/03)

[CiderLogan]

I don't have any specific advice (my m/c happened early enough that it just happened naturally so I didn't need a D&C), but I wanted to let you know I am so sorry for your loss.

Jenny
Mom to Julia, 8/03
...and another GIRL due 5/29/06!

[ribbit1019]

I've had three D&C's. With all three I had minor spotting that stopped and my body did not miscarry on it's own for 2 weeks each after my HcG levels stopped rising. The first time was the worst, the third time I had the least pain and risidule "fog" that Larissa spoke of. If I had already been bleeding with any of the three I likely would have gone with naturally miscarrying.

In all of these cases, I did not have any other children that needed to be tended to. In the situation I am in now, I would have the D&C again to ensure that my DC were cared for and I wouldn't be a wreck around them for however long it took.

If you don't understand your options then I would call your Dr. back and have them go over it for you again.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my children is the worst thing I have ever gone through. Hugs Carrie.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy born 6/9/04
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&
Jarred born 3/8/06, 11 lb 14.5 oz 24" @ 6 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
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Co-Owner Ribbit Baby

[loewymartin]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a m/c at 17 weeks and due to the size of the baby had to deliver. The second m/c I had happened at 12 weeks and I had a D&C. I found it to be emotional pain only - no physical pain having the D&C. I didn't want my DH waiting around, so I had him drop me off at the birthing center and then called him when I came out of the anesthesia. I did bleed afterwards, but not for long. And I then went on to conceive and birth Kira. I couldn't sit and wait around for my body to take control. We confirmed that the baby had no heartbeat by ultrasound so I didn't feel I was doing something that was "out of turn".

I too felt that Alia was a great comfort during my miscarriages. I wish you a speedy physical recovery and hope that emotionally you are able to get through this and plan for when you start TTC again.

Michelle
Mom to Alia born 5/16/02 and Kira born 7/30/05

[jesseandgrace]

It sounds like your body might already be doing this naturally, will you even need the d&c? I am so sorry for your loss.

[wolverine2]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and shared experiences. I'm going to decide for sure tomorrow morning, but I think we're going to go ahead and have the D&C. I haven't had any real heavy bleeding or cramping yet, and the baby stopped developing 2 1/2 weeks ago. With work and DS to attend to, I just feel like the known of the D&C timing will work better for me than the unknown of waiting it out. I can still change my mind if my body starts doing something else in the next 24 hrs.

Thanks again for your support.
Carrie

[Mamma2004]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

I opted not to have the D&C when we found no heartbeat at 10 weeks and learned the baby had stopped developing at 7 1/2 weeks. However, I had no idea how physically debilitating the pain would be, especially when I awoke in the middle of the night. I will spare you the details but I will say that I would have been utterly unable to care for a toddler for about 48 hours.

Whatever you decide, I wish you a speedy physical recovery and I pray that you and your family find peace. Hold your DS and know that he loves and needs you.

Hugs to you, Carrie!

Stephanie

[amp]

I'm sorry.

Unfortunately, there is no way that anyone can answer this for you, but we can offer our own experiences and thoughts. The truth of the matter is, I have no idea what route I would take if given the choice again.

I went for a routine appt at 11 wks and ob couldn't find heartbeat by doppler, which was true of my pregnancy with my son, so I didn't panic. They tried to find it on ultrasound, but the tech wasn't there, and she couldn't find enough to help ease my mind, so we made an appt. for the next day for a vaginal US. The tech couldn't find any heartbeat and said the baby had stopped growing around 9 wks. I was shocked. I'd had no bleeding and no cramping. No sign that anything whatsoever was wrong. So I was completely blindsided. I was offered the choice of naturally occuring mc or D/C. I went home to think, and when I decided I might not want to wait for the mc, I couldn't get ahold of anyone to get the d/c appt.

Anyway, that was during the week. I didn't even start spotting until about 2 days later. Then mild cramping. Then heavy bleeding and increased cramping. Then I thought I might have gotten throught the worst of it. The pain I experienced the next two nights (I had a reprieve overnight and during the day) was unlike any I've ever felt. I knew the absolute second that I passed the baby. I felt the pop and the gush. It was the singular worst experience of my life. I told my husband that I would never do it that way again.

But, like birth, the pain and the agony fades. There was something comforting (if there is any comfort to be had) in miscarrying my baby at home, in the safety of my family's arms and in the walls of the place I felt safest and most loved. And I'm not entirely sure that I wouldn't do it again. I'm weirdly proud for having coped with that experience. I dont' know why.

Feel free to email me with the button in the post if you want to chat.

Hugs to you. Be gentle with yourself.

[jk3]

I'm sorry for your loss. There is no right answer but the most comforting aspect of a D+C, IMO, is that they might be able to give you some information about what went wrong should you opt for genetic testing. This was a huge comfort for me when I was pregnant with my DS.

Jenn
DS 6/03

[thomma]

Carrie-
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've experienced several natural m/c as well as a d&c. It all stinks, no matter how you look at it. You've gotten some really good advice and btdt stories. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you. You'll be in my thoughts.

Kim
t&e 5/03

[annasmom]

Carrie, I just wanted to wish you well tomorrow, with whatever you decide. I will be thinking of you.

[sbjf]

I had a very similar experience when pg for the first time. 8w u/s showed no h/b and no growth since 6w. I knew I couldn't deal with waiting for it to happen naturally, plus I wanted to get back into ttc asap, so I had a d&c 2 days later. The d&c was actually phyisically very easy on me and I think it probably was the best thing for me emotionally as well.

Many hugs to you. ((((((((HUGS)))))))

[wendmatt]

No advice I'm afraid, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

[Mamma2004]

We're all thinking about you, Carrie. Hugs to you!!!!!

Stephanie

[trumansmom]

I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. ((hugs))

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[annasmom]

Carrie, I am so, so sorry. Be kind to yourself, and know that we are here for you. Wishing you peace.

[jennifer_r]

I'm so sorry about the loss. I had a "natural" miscarriage at 10 weeks and the pain is excrutiating - too bad that you went through that and still have to go ahead with the D & C. Make sure you and your husband take time to just take care of each other emotionally.

Jennifer

Mom to:
Christopher 12/29/89
Adelaide 8/23/04
Bronwyn 11/9/05

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[mamato1]

Carrie-

I hope everything goes smoothly and you are able to head home for some well-deserved rest. My thoughts are with you.
Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[wolverine2]

I'm home from the hospital... the D & C was entirely painless and I'm so glad it's all over now and we can move on. I also didn't have any pain yesterday, so I feel very thankful about that. I'm a little tired, but other than that feel like myself and may even go to work tomorrow depending on how I feel.
Thanks!
Carrie

[Mamma2004]

I'm so glad you're doing okay, Carrie. We're thinking about you!!

Stephanie

[hez]

Hugs, Carrie. I'm glad things were painless for you.

Don't overdo it tomorrow-- rest up if you can afford the time off work. At least sleep in tomorrow morning.

Again, I'm sorry you had to experience this loss.

[JBaxter]

Hugs and glad your ok

[loewymartin]

Carrie I'm glad you posted an update. I was thinking of you yesterday and wanted to check in today to see how you were feeling. Take each day as it comes. I found I was fine the next day (no one at work even knew what happened) but the day after that I had some more bleeding and felt run down. So don't over do, let your body bounce back in it's own time.

And in the mean time <<<<<HUGS>>>>>.

Michelle
Mom to Alia born 5/16/02 and Kira born 7/30/05

[CiderLogan]

I'm glad it went smoothly. I hope you feel a lot better soon.

Jenny
Mom to Julia, 8/03
...and another GIRL due 5/29/06!

[brittone2]

I'm sorry I'm getting to this late, but I wanted to say I'm very sorry for your loss.

I hope that you heal well physically in the coming weeks and emotionally as time allows.

You are in my thoughts.